Sad0mori - Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Just had my moral compass surgically removed!

only 5 seconds

i called up the jerk store and asked if they had you in stock. They said they actually have way too many of you because nobody wants to buy you. You may think this is a compliment or a silly little reversal, but you would be wrong. The man on the phone explained that despite your significant overstocking at the jerk store, nobody wants to buy you because you are simply too much of a jerk. You are too much of a jerk for the jerk store. That is the point of my annecdote. Anyway, the divorce hearing is on Thursday at 4:45. Yeah in the morning.

you know what? fuck you *falls asleep tenderly in your arms*

i honestly prefer to kick a man when hes down. its the easiest time to do it

*trying to socialize* so do you guys want to hear how i'd kill you

i need every human being on earth to love me

*trying to say i like a fictional character* yeah he activates my predator animal drive

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

It's hard to get close to me because of my big knife