Latest Posts by shelikesaestheticniches - Page 5

When I say “all men” I obviously don’t mean all men. Jake Peralta would never

→ give me brooklyn nine nine

Brooklyn 99 crushing gender norms

This show has my soul in a chokehold at the moment so yayyy! I'll probably go into more detail about these at a later date :)

Jake crying at his wedding (and Amy isn't!)

Charles being into typically non-masculine things, like cooking and fashion

Terry being portrayed as a hands-on father

not one single joke about marriage or relationships being a burden for the man

Jake is good friends with not one, but TWO women without insinuating he's cheating

each female character is as well-written as the male characters

Rosa, who first appears to be the classic Black Widow-esque badass type, is one of the most emotionally developed characters in the show

people aren't afraid to correct Hitchcock and Scully when they are being disrespectful

the three main female characters (Gina, Amy, and Rosa) are shown dating multiple different people and taking initiatives in the relationship just as much as their partners

neither Captain Holt or Kevin play into popularized gay media stereotypes

I'll have to make a part 2 as there's just so many points to make!!

An iconic moment from every B99 episode: Halloween III 3x05

more dates in 2023. 🍾

I think I'm going to start taking my tumble more seriously this year. Or maybe create an alias

Afrocentric Beauty 🤎

Sculpture Art by American Sculptor, Mark Newman

13.52

How To Build the Woman that You Want to Be -1

In order to be the woman you want to be, you have to start building her today. She’s not going to be built overnight. No matter how many subliminals you listen to you, or how many Pinterest boards you make - the harsh truth you have to accept is that you are going to have to put in the effort. Nothing solid comes without effort.

Step One:

Accept that it will take time.

Understand that you will make mistakes. You may not be consistent all the time. You may fall off your routine. Promise yourself that in the event that happens, you WILL get back up and fight harder. You may give up in the short term for a day or two - then you get yourself together, and aim for the long run.

Step Two:

Note down your “Old Story.” This is your current self who you want to change for the better. You will write everything only in the past tense and in third person. You will not use “I” or “me” or “myself.” Here are some guiding questions/ template:

“She was someone who _________ (what are the things you don’t like about yourself? For instance, she never considered herself smart enough or beautiful enough). She used to struggle a lot with ___________ (Note down all your insecurities, even the tiny ones). She was a ______ friend (were you a toxic friend? Did you gossip a lot? Did you start drama? Were you supportive?). She felt _________ (what did you want the most and didn’t get? Ex: unheard, unattractive, underconfident…). She was too ______ (qualities that come in the way of your success- anxious, shy, people pleaser….). People treated her _______________ (did people pay attention to you? Were you invisible? Were you ignored or bullied?).”

This is your old story. We are going to say RIP to her very soon. She is someone who you will now only fondly remember, like an old acquaintance. You will not hate her or despise her. You will not be cringed by her or embarrassed of her. You’re going to accept her as the person she was, you’re going to forgive her and move on with your new life.

Step Three:

Note down exactly what sort of a woman you want to be. Be honest to yourself, this is for your eyes only. Best if you keep it on your Notes app so that you can see it at your convenience. Write this in third person.

Here is a guide (you don’t necessarily have to follow this):

“This is the girl that everyone knows (if being well-known matters to you). She looks _____________ (glamorous? Trendy? Posh? Ideal body type that is attainable to you?). She’s fabulously unattainable (if having high standards is important to you, which it should be). Few have access to being in her inner circle but she’s somehow a part of every relevant social circle (if being private and well-connected matters to you). People think of her as ____________ (all the qualities that you want to be). She loves to _________ (travel? Visit art galleries? Play instruments? Ride horses? Dance ballet? It doesnt matter if you dont have that hobby yet - what do you envision for yourself?). Her life is _______ (quiet/ peaceful/ very happening/ extroverted). Her job is ____________ (business owner? Lawyer? Doctor? Nail tech?), and she is incredibly focused at it, achieving all that she wants. Her best skill set lies in ______________ (creativity? Strategy? Be specific - don’t just say leadership, define it). In her free time, she ___________ (attends fashion shows/ spends time in the nature/ goes to high profile galas/ plays a sport… you get the gist).

Her mornings consist of ___________ (sleeping in, relaxing and getting a massage? Waking up early, getting a workout in? Write what feels natural to you). She lives in a _________________ (penthouse/ farmhouse/ mansion….) in ________ (city/ town). She’s ______ (active/ low-key) on social media. She dresses ________ (describe style) and looks the best in ________ (NOT what you look best in now, what do you want to look your best in?).

She is ________ (single/ relationship/ married/ fiancé - remember this is for future self, not current self). If she isn’t single, her partner is her soul mate and biggest supporter. They are ____________ (qualities you want in a partner). They work in _______________ (career you want your partner to have). They are ______________ (physical traits). Their way of spoiling you is ______, _____ and ________ (write a minimum three). They love you because of your ___________ (qualities that you want yourself to have as a partner). They think that you are ____________ (sexy? Adventurous? Nurturing? How do you want your partner to think of you?).

She has _____ (many/ close select few) friends, who absolutely adore her. She is the friend who _______ (the best qualities you think friends should have). She remembers everyones’ birthdays and the smallest things. Her friends love her because she is one of a kind.

Her family adores her. She is able to be emotionally supportive of them and they, in return, respect her boundaries. They are proud of their child, no matter what. They only want the best for her. She has a beautiful, healthy relationship with her family.

She is at peace with life. She has abundant ________ (things you want - health, wealth, prosperity….). She is independent and emotionally strong, and can fight through any challenge. She has boundaries, and does not break them. She protects her peace. She does what is fair and just, and does not stoop to being mean, rude or tacky. She handles even the worst situations with grace. She is a woman that people love and respect. Everything about her is admirable - even her flaws.”

This is your new story. This is the only story you will ever give yourself (of course you can make changes whenever) and the old story is out. You are not your flaws or your weaknesses. The woman that you have written in that template is you, and you are going to build her and exactly that life.

Step Four:

You need to sleep on your Old and New Story, in case you need to make any changes. Give yourself a day or two, try to understand more in depth the kind of life you want. The life you want shouldn’t be what your parents want or what your friends want - it should be personal and yours. Don’t rush writing your Story.

We are going to bring her to life, very soon. Follow my blog for the next steps!

Part 2

Part 3

Resource To Take Online Classes

YA’LL. I found this really interesting site and I just had to share.

It’s called www.TakeLessons.com. They offer a multitude of topics to take classes on for free! Some include acting, foreign languages, instruments, coding, writing and knitting. They offer live classes with instructors, go at your own pace courses and private lessons for each topic. Well for the trial period at least. It’s powered by Microsoft and I’m obsessed with it.

Happy learning!!

Best visualiser EVER!!!!

I think I wanna kiss you Right here In front of everybody Right now

I hope black girls with depression have a good day today.

When males choose to be men>>>>>

This energy >>>>>>

Stop Having Sex with Boys

One of the best things I ever did for myself was take my sexual power back. Talking to boys (and yes, I meant BOYS) who make sexual comments about you or to you when you barely know them is not cute. It’s not something to celebrate. It’s disrespectful. That type of attention is extremely surface level and is not fulfilling at all. But most of all, I need women to stop sleeping with boys that do nothing for them. I’m not talking about material things. I’m talking about boys that don’t lift them up. That don’t respect them. That don’t make an effort. That don’t even bother to take the time to get to know them first. That don’t create a safe space for them to express their emotions. Why are you partaking in one of the most emotional acts between humans when the boy you’re partaking in it with doesn’t even make you feel emotionally safe? It is not worth it to spread your legs for a boy who does not respect you enough to provide for you, emotionally and physically. You’re telling me you’re risking going through pregnancy scares, actually getting pregnant and / or contracting STDs for a boy who asks “wyd” every 5 seconds and asks you to “link”? Who doesn’t even take you on dates and lets it be known without a doubt that he wants to spend time with you? Absolutely not. Ladies, stop giving these boys everything when they give you nothing or close to nothing in return. And even if he does take you out first before you open your legs, does he make you feel safe? Is he actually a good person? Does he make sure you’re taken care of emotionally? Does he make it known that he is serious about you to the point you have no doubt in your mind about his feelings? If you got pregnant by him and had a son or daughter, would you be okay with them being treated the way he treats you? Better yet, if you got pregnant by him would you be okay with your child being raised by him? These are questions you need to be asking yourself before you even think about having sex with him. I don’t care about the whole “women’s sexual liberation movement” crap. Having sex with just anyone is dangerous for a multitude of reasons. It is something to take seriously. You are exchanging energy with someone. Stop giving yourself and your precious energy to just anyone because they show a little bit of attention, because they’re hot or because you’re horny. I promise you you’re really just seeking attention and / or validation. Recognize that and stop looking for validation in other people. Buy a vibrator for when you’re horny, a vibrator and other sex toys save you from doing something you’ll regret later. Take your sexual power back and treat yourself like the queen you are. Limit who has access to you. And stop giving the most sacred part of yourself away to BOYS who do not deserve it. 

YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO SMINO’S NEW ALBUM TODAY 🗣️🗣️🗣️

THAT IS ALL !!

Shoutout to black women just because 🫶🏽

as soon as i'm under a blanket it's over

1970s Soul Train Moments

Ike & Tina Turner - aired: April 22, 1972 

The Sylvers - aired: September 22, 1973 

The Jackson 5 - aired: October 27, 1973

Marvin Gaye - aired: February 16, 1974

Sylvia Robinson and The Moments - aired: May 11, 1974

Billy Preston - aired: September 7, 1974 

LaBelle - aired: December 7, 1974 

Chaka Khan - aired: February 15, 1975

BB King, James Brown and Bobby “Blue” Bland - aired: March 15, 1975

Donna Summer - aired: March 20, 1976 

stills from the “Negro Swan” album by blood orange

Tems baby

beauty through photobooths

Thank you.

Black American Showgirls

Daveyton: Skwereng

Townships of South Africa are so lively

For many years, I believed the rumors that men wanted to chase, and women had to be chased. I knew what I wanted, when and how I wanted it… and in every other aspect of my life, I chased my desires. But where men were concerned, I’d essentially stalk them and trick them into thinking it was their idea to seduce me. While I was fairly successful, I wasted a lot of time and caused a lot of pain - not only for me, but for men. I’m mostly into shy, beautiful, graceful men… not hyper-masculine ones. The shyer dreamier men balance my intense chasing energy better. But I was scaring those types of guys away, by not making a move; and I was attracting the guys who are assertive, but not fully my type. Playing those stupid man-woman games was the dumbest thing I ever did, and easily the thing in my life that I regret most. I’m so honest most of the time, relentless… but I’m terrified of rejection. So I tried to play along with the man-woman model even though in every other way I broke the mold without second thought. My fear choked me. Fear that I was not beautiful enough for the caliber of men that I’m into. That they could find someone healthy, successful, normal… just better. I’m so overconfident in other areas that people didn’t realize how much romance fucked me up. In my 30s I dropped the bullshit and just chased men when I wanted to. Told them my feelings, seduced. Oddly enough, knowing I could do exactly what I want made me much more picky, and I CHOSE to spend years waiting for my soulmate. When I found him, I informed him the first week that he’s moving here and marrying me. It wasn’t a question. And the irony is, when I started doing the things I was told “men” would do, people started perceiving me as more feminine than before. In a good way! I’ve always been perceived as a masculine energy, but now that I just let myself “act like a man” (or like a man supposedly acts), I was suddenly a real woman. Because I was true to myself. For fuck’s sake. Ignore the bullshit and just be you. Squeezing yourself into gender norm crap is just a waste of everyone’s time.