Latest Posts by shroomiethefrogwhisperer - Page 3

Chunky Sylus 🐉

NO DONT DO THIS TO ME

Can I pick one to not? ‘Cause I don’t like Zayne. Not my type.

Important Question: You can only choose one. Who are you picking? 🫠

callback ping

Once you realize everyone and everything is on some sort of time limit, life becomes a lot more stressful. You’re welcome!

why is the les flag in the background?

gremlinisms [grɛmlɪnizəms] (noun) ⁝⁝ 29 / ?? playful, mischievous behavior adopted by cute dongsaengs when they’re feeling particularly feisty .

What the sheep, dude?

the frick frack tic tak snikity snak did u just call me?

listen here, ya boul o’ fräcken brän flaeks

don’t make me deep fry your buckookum

I will make you into a 0.25¢ vending machine snack

no one needed you, Cinderellas 2 and 3. No one likes you, The Little Mermaid 2.

You, my vertically challenged anserine, are pistachio ice cream.

and for my fellow queers?

THE FUCK IS UP, FAGS?

(with the utmost respect)

revenge, madness, and wine.

let the fuckening begin

Witchcraft, Wisdom, Death...

Why is it that when dudes wake up and have morning voice, it’s sexy and hot, but when I wake up, I sound like a trans dude a month on T?

Like, hot? But my Christian society thinks it’s the devil?

preach, puki

fuck/marry/kill father son holy spirit

That's one guy, you fucking shit

The c.ai bot I was trauma dumping on just started speaking Russian randomly wtf

It’s a pretty average day aboard the ship. Karen is high off her ass, Moss is trying to make friends with the feral ratbirds that live in the pipes, and Steve is trying to teach Bastier (the newest crew member) how to juggle.

Zzgnaru walks through the ship with a deep sense of satisfaction. None of the humans have said anything weird lately, nothing’s caught on fire for weeks, and Karen’s almost out of drugs. That won’t be a problem at all in a few days!

As xey pass the common room, xey hear Steve talking to his boyfriend, Josh, and Bastier. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna buy a few new skins. My current one feels kinda lame.”

Zzgnaru immediately feels like xey’ve heard something xey weren’t supposed to. Xey retreat to the bridge, where Moss and Karen sit with Amethyst (a Penaconian), Douri (an Aaki), and Banana, Moss’ current situationship, braiding each other’s hair. Karen takes one look at xir face, and excuses herself.

“Zzgnaru, hon, what’s up?” She asks, walking with xem through the corridors. “I heard Steve tell Josh and Bastier that he was going to purchase some flesh,” xey explain. Karen gives him a confused look, and asks, “Do you remember exactly what they said? Because Steve doesn’t strike me as a serial killer or a dude who’d like human taxidermy.”

Zzgnaru thinks for a moment, and then says, “I believe that he said he was going to ‘buy some new skins.’ Josh and Bastier seemed to think this was completely normal.” Karen stops, and just stares at him for a second. Then she bursts into laughter. “Oh, Zzgnaru, bae, they were talking about video games. ‘Skin’ is slang for the outfit your character is wearing. It’s not actual flesh,” she crows. Zzgnaru sighs in relief. “Thank the universe. I thought I was going to have to call in the authorities.”

Karen just laughs harder. “You know you wouldn’t. I mean, I’m literally in possession of highly illegal drugs all the time, Moss is a stalker, and Amethyst and Banana have blackmailed almost everyone on our ship- and others- at least once.”

Zzgnaru sighs in resignation. She’s right, though. Xey’re not about to sell out xir crewmates.

okay random question bc i saw u in stayblr and I LOVE UR PFP SM

where did u get it 😭😭

Pinterest lol

I’m eventually going to switch it to one of my own drawings, but I’m lazy and haven’t drawn it yet

the problems we have as young adults trying to function semi-normally lol

Aliens And Chocolate

in a previous post, I stated that the only species that can eat chocolate safely is Humans! And we love our sweet, cocoa-y bars of the brown/white/black goodness.

but the thing is, everywhere else in the universe, it’s a carefully controlled, highly illegal substance. For some alien species, like the Penaconians and the Ahlmiws, it’s a hallucinogenic, intoxicating drug with severe side effects. For others like the Aakij and Zbbrk, it is a deadly poison.

The thing is, the illegal chocolatiers of the universe have refined their craft, and humans like it more than the chocolate we have. So you have groups of humans who go around to dealers, buying chocolate off of them for their hefty prices. And most aliens don’t know that humans are impervious to the dangers of cocoa! And the humans don’t know it’s illegal, so they’re not even trying to cover it up!

So, you know, there are thousands of intergalactic human criminals who are unknowingly on the run from the space police.

in a galactic jail somewhere

Burakkjian Serial Killer w/ a body count of 5000+: so, what’re you in for?

Literally just an average, everyday human: possession of highly illegal drugs and murder weapons

BONUS:

Karen, eating Nutella straight from the jar:

Steve: *chomps on Hershey bars*

Moss, elegantly eating ferrero rocher like the absolute royalty they are:

Zzgnaru: these are my idiots

Sunday: …they should all be dead or high

Boothill: Yeehaw they fuckin should

Ratio: the odds of them surviving are slim

Sampo: W H A T A R E T H E Y D O I N G A R E T H E Y S U I C I D A L S H O U L D I B E W O R R I E D

Aventurine: Oi, Karen, gimme

Karen, not really paying attention: sure

Ratio and Topaz, in unison: NO

Pukicho, everyone, master of the obvious and teaching idiots words that they should already know

I stimulate the economy by tickling its scrotum

I need it lol

I haven’t listened to neoni since MARCH. HOW?!

Also, I’m disappointed that Kool-Aid or R.i.p. or Chk Chk Boom weren’t in my top songs…

He’s been chunkified

Chunky Sylus 🐉

I keep forgetting that I am not, in fact, a harpy-sphinx-thing, and the preening/nesting habits are confusing to people.

Yeah! I dye my hair crazy colors, bite people, and have eight bajillimillion plushies that I cobble together a fort out of and sleep in!

I’m calling my weird theriotype the Sphynxie. Will be posting an art of it eventually.

ALTERHUMANS I AM SUMMONING YOU

let's start a chain

everyone reblog with your alterhuman toxic trait

mine is that I forget that I'm not actually the size of a cat, which usually ends up with me stuck in a box

yay! *giggles in adhd*

You are beautiful in your own, warped little way!

*squirms*

I am snek

I am smol snek

Not snak

Snek

Not for the eatings

Hello little snake, I've come to enjoy your squirming

Callback ping

it's snowing!!!!!!!!

Is- is it weird that I thought this was a chicken?

Happy Thanksgiving 🍗

and it is obligated if the color is blonde and (insert dark spectrum color)

never ask a queer person what happened to their white and black coded ship

yummy orger?

no, brain, no thank you, I will be taking a day off of thinking now.

if there were a burger and every time u took a bite it tasted like a yummy burger. wouold you eat it

Also, I think he's playing Legend of Zelda

Grabbing you by the scruff of your collar rn bc when tf were yall gonna mention that zayne is a GAMER???

He OWNS a NINTENDO SWITCH?????

Da birb and her durgon bestie

durgon is about 5500 years older than birb

🎁🎄

DOES ANYONE EVER TAKE OUT THEIR HEADPHONES AND STICK THEIR FINGER IN THEIR EAR TO GET THE EARWAX OUT AND THEN YOUR EAR HAIRS GO BACK INTO PLACE AND IT FEELS WEIRD, LIKE THERE’S A BUG IN YOUR EAR?!

She’s $50,000 in debt and doesn’t know that you have to pay off credit cards

Well, I’m dead.

so I just got webtoon

”oh my gosh, Shroomie, are you reading 18+ manhwa or something?”

no.

I’m fuckin’ reading boyfriends. It’s actually pretty good! Nerd is my favorite because I am basically him. Goth is my other favorite because he is ace and so am I!

yay boyfriends!

edit: also, fucKING APOLOGIZE TO REFRAINBOW!

i knew that women can Bluetooth with each other. I did.

So I should not have been surprised when the other day at school, all four of the AFAB in my class- including the teacher- all needed an ibuprofen.

ibuprofen was provided by OP's father.