Latest Posts by shroomiethefrogwhisperer - Page 4

sys:\\cyn:callbackping:uzi

Or, in normal speak,

callback ping

callback ping

ADHD/Autism stims that I love that might sound sexual- but don’t actually turn me on!

Hair pulling. In the gentle but firm way. The pressure on my scalp feels amaaaaazzzzzing.

Cuddles. I dislike spooning most of the time, and normal cuddling gets hot and overstimulating. BUT- when someone lays on top of me (like cats)- augh yes yes please very stimmy yes

Massages! Not inherently sexual, but still. Specifically, on my back, shoulders, hands, and the base of my skull.

Those feather-light touches that trace patterns on your skin. They is tickly and nice.

I’m demiaroace, so not only do I not really understand how this stuff can be sexual, but also, I don’t really think that it’s sexual at all. At least in this sense.

why is it always this:

No no no, fuck no, babe, you're gorgeous, no negative self talk.

when it could be:

Darling. You shine brighter than a thousand full moons at midnight. You have no need to speak of yourself in such a derogatory manner. Your radiance rivals that of Aphrodite herself.

A Court Of Thorns And Roses. Fourth Wing. The Crown Of Thorns series. They Both Die At The End. So This Is Ever After.

All of these romance books. All of them. Are in. FUCKING. FIRST PERSON POV!

GIVE ME A GOOD (preferably adult) ROMANCE FANTASY BOOK THAT’S IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKS. A few examples of third person romance books are:

Keeper Of The Lost Cities, Otherworldly, ANY ROMANCE MANGA- SPECIFICALLY, Umibe No Étranger and That Wolf-Boy Is Mine!, The Lunar Chronicles.

I NEED MORE STUFF LIKE T

NO!!!

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS

Do you guys think that, in the HTTYD lore, they say “No shit, Spitelout,” as an insult? Because canonically, Snotlout and his dad, Spitelout, are kinda idiots.

just a thought.

THIS. THIS IS TRUE FEMINISM

Also, I hc Hiccup as 5'8" and skinny and Astrid as 5'7" and MOOSCULAR

Not to be a loser or whatever but saying Astrid is "the man in the relationship" in Hiccstrid is wildly misogynistic and misandrist all at the same time. Enforcing rigid gender roles to pretend you're NOT enforcing gender roles is fucking weird.

Hiccup is a man, he is The Man in the relationship. All of him is masculine because he is a man, he identifies as a man, he (we can assume) has male biology, and everyone around him accepts him as male.

Acting like Hiccup is somehow "weak" or "submissive" or "effeminate" just because he's thin and has a gentler personality then Astrid walks back what Feminists have been struggling to explain for years.

Astrid is a woman, she is The Woman in the relationship. All of her is feminine because she is a woman, she identifies as a woman, she (we can assume) has female biology, and everyone around her accepts her as female.

Acting like Astrid is "dominating" or "masculine" or "stronger" just because she's a better warrior and has a more aggressive personality then Hiccup is

WALKING BACK WHAT FEMINISTS HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO DEPROGRAM FROM YOUR PEA BRAINS FOR DECADES

Personality traits and physical attributes do not dictate what makes you a man or a woman, it's how you FEEL and how you accept yourself. If you are a man thats gentle and compassionate, empathetic and patient- then you ARE JUST A MAN WHO IS GENTLE AND COMPASSIONATE AND EMPATHETIC AND PATIENT.

WOMEN ARE STILL WOMEN IF THEY'RE PHYSICALLY STRONG OR THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE OR THEY'RE SMART.

SAME! MY DAD ALWAYS ASKS ME IF I NEED IBUPROFEN THE MOMENT I SPEND MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES IN THE BATHROOM ‘CAUSE HE KNOWS.

ofc, it never helps. A simple ibuprofen doent cut it. I need a, like, Xanax or a Midol or some shit.

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS

Fourth rule of washing dishes: when you inevitably drop a slippery knife blade-down, jump halfway across the kitchen as dramatically as possible to avoid stabbage.

first rule of washing dishes: Be yourself and have fun

second rule of washing dishes: Make sure to get water and soap in every possible corner of the entire kitchen

WHERE MY IZUKU SIMPS AT?

Excuse me, but we'd like to refer you to the Genshin Impact fandom.

-The MHA fandom

mha HAS to be the horniest fandom ive ever been in

I’m watching the FNAF movie with my brother. I hate horror. But- it’s actually half-decent.

Freddy’s not terrifying. All of the others are, though

Rabbit Has Fainted.

wait

ive been hyper fixated on k-pop and the color black for like six years

as far as I know, I'm just ADH.

AAAAAAAAAAA

my friends getting different hyperfixations: 😻

me having the same one for four years:

The entire percentage of tumblr asexuals says no

or, Alternatively,

So, you're finally awake, noona hoksi namjachingu isseoyo

so, you’re finally awake, onii-chan

MOM! DO YOU KNOW WHERE I PUT MY BOOBS? THEY WERE ON MY DRESSER, AND NOW THEY'RE GONE!

I wish boobs were detachable. Because sometimes I want to look like a genderless being, other times the outfit needs boobs.

That's autism

my friends getting different hyperfixations: 😻

me having the same one for four years:

6. one of those blow-up dino costumes

7. my hoodie

8. a watch

9. Suit

10: a full fursuit

5 sexiest things a woman could wear

Full suit of armor

Just an oversized teeshirt

blood of her enemies

leather jacket

Super cool sword on her back

I feel so called out

Ever just see somebody talking to themselves in public?

Wonder what's going on in there?

Mumbling? Tics? Reciting lines? Thinking of a memory?

Or on the other side.

Talking to headmates? Alters? Imaginary friends?

You'll never know.

I like to call this phenomenon

Schrödinger's Chat

My brother likes fortnite.

Him about Meowdas: "he's a cute little kitty and I want to give him squidges."

About Ghost Director: "She's a symbiote- she keeps her symbiote in her backpack."

about Dynamo Tntna: "A hot chicky chick who lives to ruin people's lives."

About Undercover Skye: "She's cosplaying."

"Eat your fish. And then to recycle, turn it into pure gold with your powers and turn it into a battle axe."

I'm so fuckin confused. What the fuck is a "squidge"?

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

One of these days, I will be starting an Etsy shop. Yes! Shroomie, the crazy, ADHD depresso blogger, will be selling their art!

I'll be selling crochet stuff (hats, scarves, plushies), needle-felted clothes, art (prints and paintings and shit), and therian masks.

No. I will not be taking commissions. Although I would appreciate suggestion for themed character hats.

Yay thxxx

I'm A Weird Little Shit, Everyone.

Here is a list of my favorite ships. From ALL of the fandoms I'm in.

Genshin Impact

Albecrose

Kaeluc

Fischnett

Aeven

Zhongxiao (OTP)

Qingyun

Ninggbeidou

Kazuscara

Ittosara

Yaei

Ayathoma

Lumiyaka

Kavetham

Sethoscara (yes, I multiship)

Cynari

Clorinavia

Wriolette

Lionfish

Stardew Valley

Sebigail

Sebsam

Halex

My Hero Academia

Todosero

Katsudeku

Shinkami

Dabihawks

Togachako

Kamijiro

Tsukoyami

Miritama (OTP)

Kirimina

Erasermic

Nejiyuyu

Legend of Zelda

Sidlink (OTPPPP)

RevUrbosa (LEAVE ME ALONE THEY’RE PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER)

fuck idk I just like sidlink

I have no idea what fandoms I’m in at this point. A few random ships that I like: Stucky, KeefTam (Teefe?), Gojeto? Getojo? (idk the fuckin ship name), Ratiorine, Bootgenti/Argenthill, Mozeqiu or Feiqiu, idk. Also MioShun bc harukaze no étranger is OTP forever.

this has been my ted talk.

a neurodivergent blurb

I have ADHD. very, very bad ADHD. Anything and everything can be overstimulating. But there are some weird things that I do that make no sense.

Noises. I hate large crowds. They're loud and chaotic and terrible. But! I can and will blast k-pop at full volume in my earphones.

Using a weighted blanket. Most people think that if I can't freely move around, I'll be overwhelmed. But, actually, that makes it worse.

Lots of accessories. Sometimes, certain pieces of jewelry make everything bad. Like, I can't wear rings on my left hand and I can't wear bracelets on my right wrists. That's how you know that I don't have OCD.

Yay, ADHD.

why are humans like this?

Zzgnaru and Karen are walking through the downtown area of Karen's home city. Zzgnaru notices a shop whose sign reads "Tattoo and Piercing." Xey are confused.

"Karen, what is a 'Tattoo and Piercing?'" Xey ask, pointing one of their tentacles at the building. Karen blinks at xem for a moment, and bursts out laughing. She gestures to her arms, which are covered in artistic markings.

"Tattoos are basically just permanent body art. I have over twenty. And piercings are a type of body jewelry." Zzgnaru is still confused. Karen tugs xem into the shop, where a person lies on a table, an artist working on a caterpillar tattoo.

Zzgnaru starts. "Is-is that a needle?" Karen nods. "So you aren't born with those?" Xey ask, shocked. "Yep. And piercings are where you use a needle to put small gems and stuff into your skin. Not permanently, you can take them out." Karen explains.

The person on the table looks up, and recognition flashes over their face. "Karen? Izzat you?" Karen looks over at them, surprised. "Moss? What the fuck, girlypop? I thought you had joined a space crew?" Moss shakes their head, sighing. "Rosatttiiia kicked me off the ship. Said I was 'too confusing.'"

Karen laughs. "Moss, babygirl, you are confusing. You're the most gremlin-y person I've ever met." Moss huffs. Then, Zzgnaru butts in. "Does that hurt?" Xey ask, motioning to the needle. Moss shakes their head. "Nope, not really."

Later, back on the ship, Zzgnaru rants to Steve and two of the Penaconian crew members about how humans are crazy. "The ones with the patterns aren't normal? The unmarked ones aren't albino? What the crap is this, Steve? First Karen bleeds from her genitalia, now this?"

Steve ends up showing them his singular tattoo and explaining that they have ways to ease the pain.

I wrote two thingies about aliens and now people love me.

Guys.

I'm just a little goblin trying to be funny. Like, yes, I do art and fanfic and all that, but mostly I'm just ranting about my brother being a raging h0m0ph0bic weirdo and my friends being crazy gremlins.

Eventually, I'll have an Etsy where you'll be able to buy my weird art. But until then, please keep enjoying my weird shit.

(Also, would you guys want Karen The Raging Hormonal Monster and Human Poison stickers?)

It's my cousin Throckmorton's cat. His name is Jeffriney.

I Am Menstruating, So Here's A Period Thought.

(Yes, it's about aliens again.)

We, as humans, eat a lot of food that other animals can't eat. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, broccoli, alcohol (although I did once have a cat who loved beer), caffeine, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, any spicy food, tomatoes, the list goes on. Dairy products, everyone.

I am currently having period cravings. For hot cheetos, spicy ramen, raspberry-infused dark chocolate, and hot cocoa. Any and all of that would kill a dog.

But, would it kill an alien?

I once saw a thing that said that chocolate is a universally poisonous substance. And sure, I'll stand by that. If you give chocolate to any species except for humans, they will die. Miserably.

BUT! And this is a large but.

HUMANS ARE NOT ALL-POWERFUL, NOR ARE THEY ALL-IMMUNE!

Pokeweed (a little, deadly plant characterized by its red stem and purple berries) is absolutely lethal to us. One tiny berry will kill us. Oleander, a beautiful pink/red/white flower, can kill with any/all of its parts. Nightshade, recognized by its bright red berries, kills in less than 24 hours.

Aliens consider all of these plants to be delicacies.

Zygerin chefs whip up fabulously delicious hemlock soups for their patrons. Ytertjjijkis bakers utilize nightshade, pokeweed, and yew in all of their most famous pastries. Aàkî cooks use Oleander and destroying angel mushrooms in common garden salads.

But yes, chocolate is deadly to them. And the other 99.999% of the universe.

JOIN THE STAYBLR COMMUNITY

🎉 Hey STAYs! 🎉 Join Stayblr, the ultimate Stray Kids community! 💫 We're a growing family of fans, and we’re so close to hitting 1,000 members—and planning a special event to celebrate! 🥳

Come chat, share, and vibe with other STAYs! 💖

(Reblog this post to spread the word and help us reach more fans! Let's make this place even more fun together!)

JOIN TODAY

hi, my lovely tumblr weirdos! i’m going on hiatus for about a month because of school and stuff, so i won’t be posting anything until early october. until then, remember that my Ask The All-Knowing Shroom box is always open! i desperately need asks, ‘cos i’m having major writer’s block.

Love and smiles, Shroomie