Part 2 Of What The Heck Grandpa

Okay okay. If we can't get a detailed description if then eating it, can we at least see their reaction to the boxes? Please :3

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh I guuuueeessss 😏

James cocks a brow when he examines his box. It looks fancy, whatever it is. An expensive gift from Mika, perhaps? An admirer?Then he opens it, and his eyes bulge.

Erik, too, examines his box with a quizzical knot in his brow, though he’s smiling. Surely it’s something decadent from a fan. He has many, after all. If his name is on it, then it must be something personalized.Erik opens his box and it takes him a moment to fully process and piece together what he’s seeing. A chocolate dick. Sweet Satan. It’s his dick isn’t it. It is. How was this made? Erik catches himself suppressing laughter. He could think of someone to give this to…

Sam doesn’t show it but he kinda feels bad that someone got him something this fancy-looking. He’s not the type who can appreciate fancy-looking shit. That’s James’ whole schtick. He hopes it’s something he can actually use.When he opens it, he sees it in all its green phallic glory for all of a second before dead-ass dropping it on the ground and walking away, looking like a man who has been dead inside for years. And yes, the candy-coated chocolate cock cracked when it hit the ground.

Matthew is bristling and bouncing on his heels as he opens his. Someone got him something nice! Someone spent money on him! He bets its gonna be something great. He doesn’t know what, but it’s gotta be! It has his name on it! There’s gold! By sheer virtue of it being a gift it’s great of course, but now he’s dying to see—Holy Shit It’s A Penis. Made Out Of Chocolate. Oh Beelz It’s His Penis. That… that’s his penis sculpted in chocolate holy shit that’s GREAT!!!! He’s gonna get the tallest glass of milk he can pour; this bad boy isn’t lasting a day.

Damien doesn’t remember hearing anyone drop them off, and he can already hear that it isn’t from Mika. What could this be? It’s in black and gold which is… a bit of a mixed message. Commoner and Crown Prince colors. Strange…He cautiously lifts the lid. And slams it shut, hunching in on himself and spewing a laugh through his teeth like an elephant, eyes frantic in his incredulity. Damien actually lowers to his knee and covers his face with an arm, wheezing, turning pink in the face. Eventually he scrambles for his phone and takes a picture for his snapchat. -Spit-roast for the sweet-tooth.-

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Danm this went from 0 to 100 real quick.

seduce me the otome: camping headcanons

♤ one day, the boys and mika decide to go camping ! they go to a national reserve, and arrive in a RV. this trip turns out to be traumic ♡

☆ james

james is only one prepared but still manages to get robbed at gunpoint by a raccoon. he and mika stay in the RV. that is until Matthew is playing with mika's febreeze bottle, and then sam uses his lighter on it and it explodes. they no longer have an RV. james does not like camping. he has fun cooking out in the wilderness until while he is gathering berries, he sees suzu dealing crack. after that he walks to the local Walmart to buy food. he books an air bnb after they find erik's body for the first time and leaves the trip. unfortunately, the Airbnb was an unfortunate rating of 1 star(s). someone broke into his room and immediately began attacking james. james hid his body under the mattress by morning and had lost 2 fingers and his dignity.

◇ erik

unfortunately, erik passes away due to mysterious circumstances. during the first night, he hears a mysterious voice from the woods. he goes to investigate, and is found ass naked the next morning face down in front of a tree. he survives the encounter with the voice and does not remember anything from the night. he discovers a secret drug ring while skinny dipping in the local lake. the mafia pull up on him and he is dragged. he does not inform the group that suzu's mafia has begun sacrificing wild squirrels. he returns to the group ass naked once more after a squirrel stole his clothes. later that morning, his body is found by Matthew who accidentally fell on it. Matthew drags back the body in tears, and the group is horrified. the next morning the body is gone and Matthew suspects Sam used it as a boogie board in the lake or simon tabby took it.

《》 sam

sam immediately becomes completely feral. he loses all domestication and joins a bear pack. the boys lose communication with him on day 2 of the trip. instead of lord of dragons, he is lord of rabies. he now eats raw meat. sometimes he will return to the campsite to terrorize Matthew. Nobody believes Matthew when he says sam kidnapped a toddler and beat him over the head with the child. sometimes he will rob suzu's drug clients and leaves the goods for mika under her pillow. mika knows that it is him and leaves a toothbrush and some Colgate nearby for him, which he gladly takes. he doesn't remember how to use the two toiletries and eventually eats the Colgate and sharpens the tooth brush into a hunting spear. he eventually slaughters simon tabby with the murder device and feeds him to his newly adopted bear cubs. he and suzu begin fighting over territory, and sam wins. he takes over her cocaine empire and begins a reign of terror over the forest.

¤ matthew

matthew was sold to one direction by day 6. unfortunately, he burnt the RV down. he was kidnapped for ransom by suzu, but nobody paid his ransom. after suzu abducted him, and nobody paid for his release, he was sold to one direction. mika had to break into the basement they kept him in and help him escape. nobody noticed he was gone during that time. while in one directions basement he learned the sims language and due to his trauma, he has regressed into a sim. only mika understands him.

▪damien

damien immediately befriends the deer. he and mika go on scenic walks around the nature reserve. he discovers how to make jam out of forest berries. ever since Matthew burned down the RV, damien began sleeping in a tree. He enjoyed fishing and collecting pebbles with Erik before he died. he begins hearing voices after his body was recovered. one day he finds a plastic water bottle and two koolaid packets. BONK. he was hit over the head with a hydro flask after his discovery. he wakes up in a bathtub, alone and dazed. a open wound is where his kidney should be. he returns to the camp site with 16 liters of blood missing. mika finds damien's lost kidney on craigslist and purchases it. James helps him put it back in with super glue and some Gatorade. damien no longer likes camping.

☆☆☆ GUYS DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY and requests are now open ☆☆☆ send me the craziest freakiest shit ever and i will write for you. i dont care just send stuff to me for any fandom. if im not apart of it i will watch one episode or Google it just for you. i do headcanons, fanfic, EVERYTHING. even matchups hunny. Dont be shy spam my inbox 👉🏻👈🏻

You can only reblog this today.

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

Reddit • YouTube

For those of you who follow the Stuart Semple and Anish Kapoor feud, (which you can read about here) Semple recently had his kickstarter for Black 3.0 100% funded!

Black 3.0 is an updated version to his very popular Black 2.0 which was invented as a way to give the public access to a cheap and effective black that rivals Vantablack, a pigment monoplozied by Anish Kapoor.

(*and no kapoor can’t buy this one either)

Reblog if Fan Fics are just as valid as Fan Art

Affirmation for writers, please!!

Likes do nothing!!

reblog if you:

- flinch away when someone touches you.

- panic when you accidentally break an object.

- get scared when someone walks behind you.

- feel your heart rate increase at every sudden noise.

- are easily panicked by slightly-louder-than-normal sounds.

- stare apprehensively at your bedroom doorway for hours at night.

- have trouble making eye contact with people.

- always feel either too mature or too immature for your age.

- simultaneously crave and be terrified of physical contact.

because i do all of these