Oliver Baez Bendorf, “Everything All At Once”

the problem with addiction is not that it's pleasurable. it's not "having too much fun" disease. it's not even a requirement for addiction that you have fun at any point in the process at all and to be honest it is incredibly common that no pleasure is gained from substance use. imagining that addiction is about pleasure does two things: 1) demonises feeling good (there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy/comfortable/etc), and 2) frames addicts as people who Like Having Fun Too Much. it's simply not useful to frame things this way as well as just fundamentally not being true

Things Your Character Pretends to Be (But Isn’t, At Least Not Yet)

(Identity masks, coping roles, survival personas.)

The caretaker (but no one’s ever taken care of them).

The brave one (but they’re terrified all the time).

The flirt (because real intimacy is terrifying).

The funny one (because laughter hides the panic).

The overachiever (but they feel like a fraud).

The chill one (but they’re screaming inside).

The leader (but they never wanted the spotlight).

The rebel (but they just want to belong).

The calm one (but their thoughts race nonstop).

The loyal one (even when people don’t deserve it).

The loner (but they’re starving for connection).

The tough one (but they’ve never been allowed to cry).

The problem-solver (but can’t fix their own mess).

The grounded one (but they feel completely lost).

The logical one (because feeling has always gotten them hurt).

The “together” one (but they’re falling apart in secret).

The “nice” one (but they’re boiling with resentment).

The free spirit (but they crave structure).

The peacemaker (but they never say what they need).

The heartbreaker (but they’re terrified of being left first).

Tips on Making the Writing Process Easier

Use sticky notes to write down and organize major plot points

When inspiration for an idea strikes, write it down every single time. You never know if you might need that idea, and if you don’t write it, you will forget it.

Write the dialogue first. That way, you have a set up for a scene, but don’t have to focus too hard on narration.

Write your story by scene by scene. This way, you can focus on a scene at a time instead of an entire story. This does not mean you should stop focusing on writing a story

Remember to eat and drink

When you get stuck, stir up some conflicts.

Get The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. It’s a guide for nearly every emotion you can write

Use a notebook and write by hand. I know it sounds awful (and for some, it might be awful) but writing with a pen and paper is drastically different than writing on a laptop, and this can make it so much easier

Remember to have a social life. Friends are important for your well-being (and possibly your wip)

Your outline is there to guide you through your story. But if your story disagrees with your outline, derail from the outline and come back to it when/if you get back on track

If you don’t get back on track, either continue with the story and hope you don’t get stuck, or tweak your outline

That’s it for now. Follow me for more writing tips and advice

"women didn't invent anything"

hi dhaaruni! i want to learn about radical feminism, could you rec some books/texts? thank you <3

YES.

Right-Wing Women, Woman Hating, and Letters From a War Zone by Andrea Dworkin

Are women human?, Only Words, and Toward a Feminist Theory of the State by Catharine A. MacKinnon

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory by Marilyn Frye

Sexual Politics by Kate Millett

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

Women, Race, & Class by Angela Davis

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Pérez

This Bridge Called My Back by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria E. Anzaldúa

The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade by Sheila Jeffreys

Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape by Susan Brownmiller

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Material Girls: Why Reality Matters for Feminism by Kathleen Stock

Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution by Adrienne Rich

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf (it was published in 1990 before Wolf went cuckoo for cocoa puffs)

On Rape and Sex and Destiny: The Politics of Human Fertility by Germaine Greer

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay (just never look at her Twitter if you haven't already since this book really is very good and her Twitter ensured I'm never reading another book of hers ever)

And thank you for enjoying my newsletter!!

Overused Words in Writing & How to Avoid Them

We’ve all got our comfort words—those trusty adjectives, verbs, or phrases we lean on like a crutch. But when certain words show up too often, they lose their impact, leaving your writing feeling repetitive or uninspired.

1. “Very” and Its Cousins

Why It’s Overused: It’s easy to tack on “very” for emphasis, but it’s vague and doesn’t pull its weight.

Instead of: “She was very tired.” Try: “She was exhausted.” / “She dragged her feet like lead weights.”

💡 Tip: Use precise, vivid descriptions rather than vague intensifiers.

2. “Looked” and “Saw”

Why It’s Overused: It’s functional but flat, and it often tells instead of shows.

Instead of: “He looked at her in disbelief.” Try: “His eyebrows shot up, his lips parting as if words had failed him.”

💡 Tip: Focus on body language or sensory details instead of relying on generic verbs.

3. “Suddenly”

Why It’s Overused: It’s often used to create surprise, but it tells readers how to feel instead of letting the scene deliver the shock.

Instead of: “Suddenly, the door slammed shut.” Try: “The door slammed shut, the sound ricocheting through the empty room.”

💡 Tip: Let the action or pacing create urgency without needing to announce it.

4. “Said” (When Overdone or Misused)

Why It’s Overused: While “said” is often invisible and functional, using it in every dialogue tag can feel robotic.

Instead of: “I can’t believe it,” she said. “Me neither,” he said. Try: Replace with an action: “I can’t believe it.” She ran a hand through her hair, pacing. “Me neither.” He leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

💡 Tip: Don’t ditch “said” entirely; just mix it up with context clues or action beats.

5. “Felt”

Why It’s Overused: It’s a shortcut that tells instead of showing emotions.

Instead of: “She felt nervous.” Try: “Her palms slicked with sweat, and she couldn’t stop her leg from bouncing.”

💡 Tip: Let readers infer emotions through sensory details or behavior.

6. “Really” and “Actually”

Why It’s Overused: They add little to your sentences and can dilute the impact of stronger words.

Instead of: “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Try: “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

💡 Tip: If a sentence works without these words, cut them.

7. “Walked” or “Ran”

Why It’s Overused: These are go-to movement words, but they can feel bland when used repeatedly.

Instead of: “He walked into the room.” Try: “He strolled in like he owned the place.” / “He shuffled in, avoiding everyone’s eyes.”

💡 Tip: Use verbs that convey mood, speed, or attitude.

8. “Just”

Why It’s Overused: It sneaks into sentences unnecessarily, weakening your prose.

Instead of: “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Try: “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

💡 Tip: Delete “just” unless it adds essential nuance.

9. “Thought”

Why It’s Overused: It tells readers what a character is thinking instead of showing it through internal dialogue or action.

Instead of: “She thought he might be lying.” Try: “His story didn’t add up. The timelines didn’t match, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.”

💡 Tip: Immerse readers in the character’s perspective without announcing their thoughts.

10. “Nice” and Other Vague Adjectives

Why It’s Overused: It’s generic and doesn’t give readers a clear picture.

Instead of: “He was a nice guy.” Try: “He always remembered her coffee order and held the door open, even when his arms were full.”

💡 Tip: Show qualities through actions instead of relying on vague descriptors.

Final Tips for Avoiding Overused Words:

1. Use a thesaurus wisely: Swap overused words for synonyms, but stay true to your character’s voice and the scene’s tone.

2. Read your work aloud: You’ll catch repetitive patterns and clunky phrases more easily.

3. Edit in layers: Focus on eliminating overused words during your second or third pass, not your first draft.

Physical Contact Masterpost

Hand-Holding Dialogue

Hand-Holding

Touching

Hugs

Hugging Dialogue

Touch Starved Prompts

Touches Ask Games

Super soft intimacy

Casual Affections

Seeking out physical affection

Romantic, non-sexual intimacy prompts

Kisses

First Kisses

First Kiss Prompts

Accidental Kisses

Places for kissing

Angsty Kisses

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where can i find works that critique the porn industry and beauty industry that doesn’t come from radfems

Well, I happen to agree with radical feminists generally about beauty culture and the porn industry haha. Radical feminists aren't inherently trans exclusionary! I identify as a radical feminist and I believe trans people have a right to bodily autonomy, just like Andrea Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon!

But, let me make you a list, just off the top of my head:

Pornography: Men Possessing Women by Andrea Dworkin: a classic and Dworkin is a former sex worker so I trust her takes on this stuff more than most others

OnlyFans Is Not a Safe Platform for ‘Sex Work.’ It’s a Pimp. by Catharine MacKinnon: Twitter leftists got furious at this article so clearly it's good

‘Sex without consent, I suppose that is rape’

"Talking to my Students About Porn" by Amia Srinivasan from her book, The Right to Sex, which apparently great although I haven't gotten around to reading it yet

Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines

The Age of the Instagram Face by Jia Tolentino: I find Jia personally annoying but this piece is good

Everyone is Beautiful And No One Is Horny by RS Benedict

Emily Ratajkowski and the Burden of Looking Perfect by Carrie Battan

Appearance as a Feminist Issue by Deborah L. Rhode

The Skincare Con by Krithika Varagur

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf: she's gone off the deep end but this book is classic

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters by Courtney E. Martin: this book triggered my eating disorder recovery tbh

That should get you started!

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

Other Words for "Look" + With meanings | List for writers

Many people create lists of synonyms for the word 'said,' but what about the word 'look'? Here are some synonyms that I enjoy using in my writing, along with their meanings for your reference. While all these words relate to 'look,' they each carry distinct meanings and nuances, so I thought it would be helpful to provide meanings for each one.

Gaze - To look steadily and intently, especially in admiration or thought.

Glance - A brief or hurried look.

Peek - A quick and typically secretive look.

Peer - To look with difficulty or concentration.

Scan - To look over quickly but thoroughly.

Observe - To watch carefully and attentively.

Inspect - To look at closely in order to assess condition or quality.

Stare - To look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something.

Glimpse - To see or perceive briefly or partially.

Eye - To look or stare at intently.

Peruse - To read or examine something with great care.

Scrutinize - To examine or inspect closely and thoroughly.

Behold - To see or observe a thing or person, especially a remarkable one.

Witness - To see something happen, typically a significant event.

Spot - To see, notice, or recognize someone or something.

Contemplate - To look thoughtfully for a long time at.

Sight - To suddenly or unexpectedly see something or someone.

Ogle - To stare at in a lecherous manner.

Leer - To look or gaze in an unpleasant, malicious way.

Gawk - To stare openly and stupidly.

Gape - To stare with one's mouth open wide, in amazement.

Squint - To look with eyes partially closed.

Regard - To consider or think of in a specified way.

Admire - To regard with pleasure, wonder, and approval.

Skim - To look through quickly to gain superficial knowledge.

Reconnoiter - To make a military observation of a region.

Flick - To look or move the eyes quickly.

Rake - To look through something rapidly and unsystematically.

Glare - To look angrily or fiercely.

Peep - To look quickly and secretly through an opening.

Focus - To concentrate one's visual effort on.

Discover - To find or realize something not clear before.

Spot-check - To examine something briefly or at random.

Devour - To look over with eager enthusiasm.

Examine - To inspect in detail to determine condition.

Feast one's eyes - To look at something with great enjoyment.

Catch sight of - To suddenly or unexpectedly see.

Clap eyes on - To suddenly see someone or something.

Set eyes on - To look at, especially for the first time.

Take a dekko - Colloquial for taking a look.

Leer at - To look or gaze in a suggestive manner.

Rubberneck - To stare at something in a foolish way.

Make out - To manage to see or read with difficulty.

Lay eyes on - To see or look at.

Pore over - To look at or read something intently.

Ogle at - To look at in a lecherous or predatory way.

Pry - To look or inquire into something in a determined manner.

Dart - To look quickly or furtively.

Drink in - To look at with great enjoyment or fascination.

Bask in - To look at or enjoy something for a period of time.

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