Dracula Is NOT Sexy. Quincey Is Sexy. DNI If You Think That Book Dracula Is Hotter Than The Gentlemanly

Tigris: You fainted, do you remember anything?

Coryo: Only the ambulance ride.

Tigris: That wasn’t an ambulance ride, I drove you.

Coryo: But I heard a siren?

Tigris: That was Sejanus.

Sejanus: Sorry, I got nervous.

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “laudanum-dosed wine at the villa diodati on lake geneva in 1816” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever i don’t feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw mary shelley and claire clairmont talking about reanimation and vampires with lord byron

my buddy percy pacing: dr. john polidori is plotting against us and my wifes nipples have been replaced by eyeballs

Arthur Holmwood: oh, so dracula controls rats? i'll handle it

Van Helsing: may I ask how?

Arthur Holmwood, pulling rat terriers out of his pockets and chucking them into Carfax like live grenades: i said i'll handle it

him: you better not be too wordy when I get there

my helplessly verbose and over-articulate, endlessly expounding posterior:

They bully him relentlessly

Lexington Leader, Kentucky, July 18, 1917

Drowning.

1. Garland Ironmonger is the best name I’ve ever seen.

2. I looked Mr. Ironmonger up and it turns out he grew up to be an honest to god fighter pilot.

3. COLONEL Ironmonger flew F-86 Sabres.

4. Garland Ironmonger: Sabrejet Pilot sounds like something straight out of a bad 70s sci-fi novel that I would totally read.

(source: The Newport News Daily Press, December 15, 1936.)

important confession

i lied about my HIV status and all aspects of my identity (marital status, trafficking past, family, etc.) on this blog and i truly apologize.

You hate that your favorite bands are exercising their free speech.