Peak Dilf Bruce Wayne

Steph: I'm ten times funnier and sexier than you

Tim: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

Steph: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Any of the batkids: I'm-

Dad!Bruce: Hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Scared? whaT ARE YOU

Jim Gordon: do you realize how fast you were driving?! I can only look the other way so much!

Batman: Brazilian free-tailed bats can fly at speeds up to 99mph

Jim: just…just try not to do it again

Batman: the rocket on the batmobile is supposed to mimic the tail of a Brazilian free-tailed bat

bruce didn’t actually care if clark got to eat, he just chose violence for the sake of it

Jason needs glasses to read😫💕

Instead of a playboy persona, I feel like this iteration of Bruce Wayne would be a disaster celebrity that people love because he's such a mess all the time. There are listicles like 'Top Ten Moments Bruce Wayne Was All of Us' and it's him falling asleep at the opera or dropping his coffee on the street and staring at it, clearly on the verge of tears. He'd get memed constantly and understand none of it. A WE publicist makes him a twitter account and he posts like a fifty-year old man, he just tweets 'Hello. I am Bruce Wayne.' or some shit and it goes viral.

Jason rlly has the best origin ever like. Eleven years old. Manages to steal three whole Batmobile wheels. Hes like you know what I’m going back for the fourth. Gets caught by batman and instead of being like AHH BATMAN he’s like fuck you bat-stard (knocks the wind out of Batman with a tire iron) (books it while yelling TRY AND CATCH ME DUMMY 👅) and all that makes batman LAUGH in the anniversary of his parents DEATH in the SAME EXACT PLACE they died. Like. Iconic. Truly not only a funny as fuck origin but also manages to tell you in like one scene everything you need to know about Jason and what his dynamic with Bruce used to/should be

"Tell him to get in line"

I like to think that when a parent has a emergency with their kid while working at Wayne Enterprise they just go straight to Mr. Wayne (if he’s in) No matter what, he has an open door policy. He encourages them to find him if they have any issues trying to get off work

Asshole supervisor: “and you have to leave? This isn’t a real emergency”

Parent: [walks off and gets onto the elevator to go to the board meeting currently in progress]

AS: “hey wait—“

Parent: [walks in quietly]

Bruce: “yes?”

Parent: “I have to pick up my child, I’ll be leaving soon”

Bruce: “is everything ok? Do you need time off?—“

Good parent and good boss Bruce Wayne