“Actually Ao3 Shouldn’t Allow-“ GO BACK TO WATTPAAAAAAADDDDDDD

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

Lost my shit once I fully processed your url . It took saying it Out Loud for me to go "OH. OH- STAN². LIKE STANCEST." And that's saying something, because s² (SHORT FOR STAN²) is my stancest save tag on my gravity falls blog.

Im honestly really flattered that you found my URL so funny 😊

Honestly ive always loved the (character)² to refer to a -cest ship, cause, ya know, character x character = character², and apparently its a running gag for the gravity falls shippers to square the same named couple (fiddauthor as ford², fiddlestanwich as stan²ford², ect.) so i found it extra fitting.

"get a job" as an insult is so weak, you think getting a job is going to stop me from being a freak? i will post about brothers kissing on the clock. i will be a sicko on break and while i shit on company time. i will come home with money and commission artists to draw my freaky shit. nothing can stop me

What does your fem!stan look like? Sorry, i just realized you rarely describe how she looks and im dying to know how you imagine her 💜

True, I don’t! I’m flattered by your enthusiasm! 🩷

I imagine any fem!Stan as a... femme, so to speak. That’s because I see canon Stan’s over-the-top, exaggerated masculinity as largely performative; he wants to please Filbrick, to be a “manly man,” tough and aggressive, because that’s how his father and society (especially in his formative years) thought that all men should be. Fem!Stan, then, to me, would fall straight into the opposite category: she would start to perform hyperfemininity, instead! That’s what would please her father the most, imo, her most useful mask. So, in this way, both Stan and fem!Stan are trying to fit their assigned gender roles the best they can, even if they sometimes (utterly) fail.

I imagine that baby fem!Stan started as tomboyish, but with time, as she grew up, started getting more and more feminine. I headcanon she did theater classes instead of boxing classes (because again, her dad believes 100% in gender roles), and as a result she’s less aggressive and more genuinely charismatic than her canon counterpart. I picture her with long, slightly wavy brown hair, big brown eyes, very curvy and plump, and girly clothing. She has acne too, but she covers it up with makeup.

I have also written a fic in which both Stans are girls, called Queens of New Jersey, here. In QNJ, their physical appearance is a little more described, and my descriptions of fem!Stan’s (Melanie) can easily be applied to my fem!Stan (Stefanie) in the AU where Ford is still a man.

For context, my fem!Stan in QNJ is called Melanie, nickname Mel. My fem!Ford is called Melinda, nickname Linda. All the excerpts below are from Linda’s POV.

Baby fem!Stan (the tomboy):

Unlike Linda, who took secret pride in her long twin-braided hair, Mel could actually be mistaken by a boy if not for the too delicate facial features and high-pitched voice, not to mention the most recent development Linda was trying very hard not to think about. Her short curly hair, the fact she only ever wore pants or shorts and dirty sneakers, and her brash, bold as brass behavior were all indicative of her endearing (in Linda’s admittedly, shamelessly biased opinion) boyish character.

Her small, slender arms concealed a physical strength Linda wished would be useful against their bullies. It wasn’t, of course, since their tormentors were mostly girls and everyone knew girls—well-bred girls—didn’t beat each other up, but it never failed to impress her. Mel was a rowdy little tomboy, no doubt about it, and as such would always look the part.

Teen fem!Stan (hyperfeminine):

Sometimes she missed the old Melanie.

The little girl who didn’t care for skirts and make-up, all dirty nails and scraped knees, popsicle juice dribbling messily down her chin. A missing tooth instead of lipsticked lips, a bandage on her cheek instead of soft pinkish blush. She had been oh so much easier to understand, effortlessly in sync with Linda as twins should always be.

This Melanie was a new creature entirely. Even after almost two years, Linda still couldn’t get used to its strange habits.

[...]

She cursed the day their father had decided to offer them—more accurately, force them to attend—theater classes. The day Mel had finally understood that the way to please their father was to embrace gender roles instead of run from them, leaving Linda behind in the androgynous limbo of reason and science.

[...]

The shop had been short of options for curvy girls and Mel had been forced to rent it a size smaller, a knee-length puffy dress which made her look even more—ah, shit—cute. Very sweet, adorable even. Yes. Exactly. Plump like a ripe peach—no. Not like—not like something that could be eaten—

Like a flower. A flower not yet fully bloomed, shaped round and voluminous, the softness of its petals still encased in a bud—shielding an even greater, hidden beauty—

Heavens above, Melanie was all softness.

[...]

Linda didn’t understand much of fashion, but she understood just enough of what she saw. The dress was incredibly… form fitting, just as she remembered it being, hugging her sister’s curves like a possessive lover. There was an abundance of flesh to cover, ever since Mel’s body had developed—simple biology, of course, it was only natural—grown cushioned and womanly like a Renaissance muse.

The cleavage was a tad too generous for Linda’s taste, revealing far more of the smooth, creamy skin of the chest than she would have been comfortable with. They were squished by the bodice, and already quite large, which—

Focus.

It was a flattering outfit, perhaps all the more due to its smaller size. Objectively so. She was certain any man—any person with eyes would agree.

[...]

Linda couldn’t comprehend why she felt so irritated, for lack of a better word.

Perhaps it was the contrast between her own body and Mel’s, how overly feminine her sister’s hourglass figure looked covered in pink, of all colors. Perhaps it was the perfectly coiffed brown curls, framing her sister’s face in a highlight of her best features.

[...]

Because, even though Linda was not stronger than Mel, her hand almost dwarfed the perfect curve of Mel’s waist, the slight narrowing created by her wide, feminine hips in her delicate, feminine form.

Dumb stancest memes I made :3

smut that is NOT tasteful. smut that IS like other smut. smut that does NOT exist to be an exploration of character. smut that IS designed to titillate. for that matter let's start calling it "pornography." I am tired of half-hearted defences of some types of pornographic writing in only some contexts. pornography is not inherently morally suspect because of its sexual nature.

I hc that Stan and Ford are one of those old couples that can dance so well a crowd forms around them - they used to dance in their room (Stan called it practicing for dates with Carla, it wasn't that really) when they were teens, but after 40 years experience they both know how to dance and after a few months alone on a boat with shit else to do they can move together like professionals, smiling the whole time, Stan sneaking a kiss on the dimple of Ford's chin when he dips him, Ford hooking his leg around Stan's and inching it just a bit too high. It's adorable, I need to squash them both

THIS???? IS SO CUTE???? IM FREAKING OUT????????????????

god i LOVE the idea of them dancing together. that would be so. OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i need them to slow dance on the boat and kiss. immediately.

(sorry it took a bit to answer this!)

you know the fanfic is hot when making the fanart for it gets you worked up 🤤

Goobers!!