Transfem Wilson Call Her WilsDAUGHTER

I think House should:

accept that he'll never be able to date Wilson, as the man is tragically heterosexual

start dating a man

the man's name is like,,, Will Jameson (House gets photo ID proof of this bc he doesn't believe it's not a weird prank at first)

House starts genuinely falling for this guy, and shyly (as shy as he gets, anyway) talks to Wilson about it, who also thinks it's a weird prank at first

House does get tongue tied occasionally and says Wilson's name in bed and says Will Jameson's name at work, and Wilson is VERY jealous about this (in his special repressed way)

anyway then some more things happen and House and Wilson stop being stupid and they fuck about it the end

Could have sworn this was an episode

House playing the sims on his DS and making him and Wilson in the game and either:

1. making them kiss, or

2. doing everything in his power to stop making them kiss but it's like they have a mind of their own and they keep trying to fuck each other

he gets figured out because he very cagily snaps his DS shut whenever someone comes in the room and barely lets it out of his sight

you knock on my door and hear loud barking and scrambling noises and me yelling "no!! down boy!! down!!!" and then when i open the door there is a single crab on the floor

Hey I’m really sorry if this is weird and you can delete it if it is but I had a dream last night that you were like going through a divorce??? Like in real life??? (Idk if you’re even married in real life???) So all your cat drawings stopped being cute and fun and you started only posting like pics of sad little cats going “NO MORE LOVE!!” and “BROKEN-ASS MARRIAGE!!”

dreams to reality

Everyone at Princeton-Plainsboro knows that.

delivery

“U think House is a bottom bc u r ableist and don’t think disabled people can top blah blah blah” no I think he’s a bottom bc of that one scene where him and Wilson r talking abt blood types and Wilson says his blood type is the universal receiver so House responds that Wilson’s blood type is the universal donor which is why he has 3 alimonies

Can’t even argue with that

house md is essentially: house suggests something absolutely insane as a diagnosis or treatment, all the underlings thinks it won’t work but do what house says anyway because no one can really argue with house’s logic except cuddy but house does what he wants anyway, wilson is in the background looking all smitten at house, house sees the fond looks that wilson is giving him and decides to pull pranks on wilson, wilson is more cunning and pranks house back and somehow that’s a love language that equates to them banging and exchanging a marriage proposal all at once, house sudden gets an ah-ha moment while he’s eye-fucking wilson and he saves the day with a diagnosis of infective wind exposure, everyone has some poignant moment at the end of the episode, and house goes home with wilson

Exileverse AU Pinkie Pie is jester-coded