I Think Some People Forget That Trauma Is Not Always Something You Can Fix, Even In Therapy.

You will get farther in one week paying close, nonjudgmental attention to the unmet needs underlying your "bad" behavior than you will in a year of punishing yourself and demanding you become a different person. I'm right shut up.

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

Morgan Harper Nichols

Something my friend and I were talking about that I think is important is what can happen sometimes when abuse stops.

For my friend, she expressed that her mental health got worse when the abuse stopped. And we talk about that because for a lot of survivors, it’s what happens when we’re feel we’re safe now and our brains begin to process the trauma. But there can be other reasons, too. And for her, it was because she suddenly didn’t feel important anymore. Because while the cruelty sucked, it made her feel she mattered. After it was done, the person was indifferent to her and it felt worse to her.

And I asked her if it was okay if I talked about this because it isn’t something I’d thought of before and I imagine there’s a lot of people who could benefit from me sharing her experience so you know you aren’t alone.

If that’s how you feel, your feelings are valid. And it doesn’t mean you deserved the abuse. It’s okay if your feelings are complicated. You aren’t alone and you are still worthy. Always.

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

Progress is still progress!

It doesn't matter if you hadn't done the things you were supposed to do. It doesn't matter that if you finished 1 thing out of 4 things. You don't have 3 more things to do, you have 1 less thing to complete.

It doesn't matter if you had relapsed after a day or 3 of productivity and healing into a spiral again. What matters is that you get back up and start again. Because now you're a bit stronger and more resilient than before.

It doesn't matter if all you did today was getting out of bed, eat and change your clothes while you did nothing else. Appreciate yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing those small things.

It doesn't matter if the only thing you did today was to focus on existing and on yourself alone. Be proud of surviving till the end of the day because you made it through knowing that there was a possibility of you not making it.

Progress is still progress. It doesn't matter if you take small or big steps. You're taking a step and that's all that matters.