Something my friend and I were talking about that I think is important is what can happen sometimes when abuse stops.
For my friend, she expressed that her mental health got worse when the abuse stopped. And we talk about that because for a lot of survivors, it’s what happens when we’re feel we’re safe now and our brains begin to process the trauma. But there can be other reasons, too. And for her, it was because she suddenly didn’t feel important anymore. Because while the cruelty sucked, it made her feel she mattered. After it was done, the person was indifferent to her and it felt worse to her.
And I asked her if it was okay if I talked about this because it isn’t something I’d thought of before and I imagine there’s a lot of people who could benefit from me sharing her experience so you know you aren’t alone.
If that’s how you feel, your feelings are valid. And it doesn’t mean you deserved the abuse. It’s okay if your feelings are complicated. You aren’t alone and you are still worthy. Always.
alternatives to “i want to die”:
i want things to change
i want a different life
today was a shitty day/week
i don’t want to live like this
i want to be somewhere else in life
i’m not where i want to be yet
+ much more
Sometimes life is about the little things you can look forward to! It doesn’t have to be big or grand, just something that makes you happy.
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Sorry to break yall's hearts but this is too well written of a post to not include in here.
I think for a lot of us, recovery isn’t about not having triggers anymore or not having symptoms. I think it’s about how we learn to react to those things. Focus on giving yourself credit for learning to cope with things in a healthier way and stop beating yourself up for experiencing symptoms or emotions in the first place.
things to not dwell on:
people who treated you badly
things you can’t change
comparing yourself to others
things to think about more:
baby animals
people who love u unconditionally
good things in your life that make you happy
days and times to look forward to
Things that are easy to forget:
some days are just bad in every way, but one bad day doesn’t mean your life is bad.
there are good days and good people too.
it’s easier for your brain to focus on bad things so do your best to concentrate on the little things that make u happy.
mistakes and no obvious progress doesn’t mean you’re not improving.
things do get better. bad things are temporary.
you deserve to relax, it’s not a waste of time.
you are more loved than you know.
Cat Series a series of cats placed on flatbed scanners
being like this and living with someone who doesn't understand is so hard.
Would you ever tell another survivor that their triggers are stupid?
Would you ever tell another survivor that their experience wasn’t “bad enough?”
Would you ever tell another survivor to “get over it?”
No? That’s what I thought. So, why are you an exception? Why are you not as deserving of your compassion and understanding?
Please show yourself that same compassion, because you are worthy of it.