Strongshape - Mishmash

“If you don’t leave your past in the past it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.”

— Unknown

Focusing on what’s rooted in reality has reduced so much of my overthinking time. If a friend is already out of my life, there’s no point dissecting our interactions from back when we were friends. If I already broke up w someone, there’s no point thinking about the could-have-beens because they will never happen. If I’m into someone but it wouldn’t work for whatever reason, then it just doesn’t. Something just is or just isn’t. There’s a lesson to take from everything but I also don’t want to use that as a catch-all excuse of getting into the weeds for something when the weeds have already been cut off and it doesn’t even matter anymore

i think some people forget that trauma is not always something you can fix, even in therapy.

there are some things that will just never fully heal. and that’s okay!

you don’t go to therapy to fix your trauma. you go to therapy so you can grow and learn to handle it better.

it’s worth taking the time to grow and i promise you it gets easier.

Connecting the dots between generational trauma. There were some things my dad didn’t know that I knew about what led to complex family dynamics and emotions I didn’t understand until I was in my early 20s. One of my uncles shared the history not long before he unexpectedly passed.

Dad’s dad made a choice (well, several choices) that leaves a forever impression on any kid that learns a parent was dishonest and that’s why there are now two separate households and holidays. This might explain why my dad struggled to navigate fatherhood, on top of only being 18. It was a few years from my parents’ divorce before he decided to give it a real try. I’ll never know exactly what my great-grandma said to him to change his mind about signing away his parental rights.

He didn’t know what he didn’t know. Some family members have found that hard to believe, but I think their experience clouds their understanding and nothing now could change that. It’s unknowable to them and I’m not responsible for trying to make them understand.

I forgive him.

You weren’t abused because you were a “bad child”. You were abused because they were abusive.

They only said those things to try and find some justification for their abuse.

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sadness, grief, anger, etc. might feel comfortable because they’re familiar, but that doesn’t make them good for you. feel them, but don’t let them overtake you.

"who radicalized you" ever since i was a child i wanted other people to be treated nicely and fairly because i didnt understand why theyd deserve otherwise and it fills me with disgust seeing how people treat their fellow human beings sometimes

words from we hug now by sydney rose