”What’s it like?” Perpetual confusion. A simulation of what it’s like to be a chameleon if emotions and personality traits were colors. Periods of suspecting people close to you are plotting to hurt you or have hurt you on purpose. Being aware of everything around you at all times. Remembering what you’d rather not. Torching the wrong relationships in spectacular fashion by lashing out and falling back into isolation despite wanting to escape it. Not knowing what emotion you’re experiencing or how to process it, and sometimes it’s like roulette. Assuming others’ intentions and meanings to be hostile or unkind because why would someone be nice to you? The persistent sensation of “otherness” no matter where you’re at or who you’re with. Disconnection with the world around you.
There is no enjoyment.
By the way, you’re worthy now.
Not when you’ve healed. Not even when you started your healing journey. You don’t need to be in a certain place on your healing journey.
You are worthy now, as you are. You don’t need to “earn it”.
don’t forget to breathe
You weren’t abused because you were a “bad child”. You were abused because they were abusive.
They only said those things to try and find some justification for their abuse.
To my fellow survivors who weren’t believed, were dismissed or invalidated.
I’m here and I believe you. What you went through was very real and what you feel is completely valid.
You deserved so much better.
when i was little i thought it was stupid that sims had a meter for how much they liked their environment, while as an adult i'll clean some part of my house and later feel the bar going up when i walk by it
Love seeing little pawprints. So fucking magical. There was a little guy here.
Violets, sweet violets (Art Detail) John William Godward
Oil on Canvas
1906