Pretty...Devastating

Shadow Girl

Broken,

No one knows

No one cares

No one can see my depressed shadow

But that shadow is mine and it’s the other half of me

It is taking over

My hallow, dark inside, body makes a shadow

Please stop walking on my shadow and thinking nothing of it

You think stomping on it is funny

But you don’t realize that, that is me

I want to put a cast on my broken shadow but I can’t because it moves with me and is always behind me

You fall for the fake smiles and laughs in the front but you forget to look in the back

If anyone really did love me they would look in the back and try to control it

They would try their best to stop and conquer it

The sun only brings out my shadow more

I hate the sun

I like rainy dark days

I like the feeling but I hate it at the same time

Meeting Someone New

Long curvy roads

Cars with heavy loads

Together on the same day

All going different ways

Maybe ours will meet again

And if so when?

Are we done?

Can you give me the sun?

I want to take a road trip

I'll even get aboard a ship

I don't really know you

You're contagious like the flu

You don't think that I have a dark side

I'm ready for the butterflies

The motor of the car

I want to go far

Let me in

Can I see your scraped shin

Motorcycles go whizzing by

Will you reply?

How was your flight?

I'm starting to forget that night

Indiana, you came all the way

Just for a rock climbing day

I could tell that you too are numb

That's where I'm from

You think that I don't have it bad

But I have more scars than you will ever have

So many I've lost count

Much matter the amount?

I have way more than eight

Full is my plate

Friend you are new

And I don't know, how do you do?

Did I come in too strong?

How much longer?

A couple days? A week?

Let me in to take a little peek

I think you're cool

My head sings that I'm a fool

The car jerks to a stop

Out of the car I come out with a hop

In hopes to see you

But you're from Indiana so I should have known, that was the first time you flew

Day Dream

I day dream because I accidentally woke up today

When reality struck noon

I was soon,

Met with what other people say

Being the drama queens that they are

They made a small thing into a big deal

And now I feel

Less than par

I'm also annoyed

With Jay

Because he has a hard time seeing things my way

It seems that he likes to avoid,

Putting himself in my shoes

As I do his

Give us a quiz

And I know who would lose

During school

He was my favorite subject to study

But now he has made my shoes all muddy

He insecurely lives on gender roles like a fool

And it messes with my side

Of knowing that I don’t need a guy

To protect me from my

Nonexistent fear of getting pied

But at the same time of being annoyed

I like being together

All cuddled up in the blankets of bad weather

And a bolt of cuteness you created for me and destroyed

I crave you

And your touch

So much

That I wish I could wear you like and outfit of blue

Its hard to be in love with the earth

When there are so many things wrong with it

Sometimes it just rains shit

And I don’t feel very full of mirth

I daydream like Walter Mitty

Because it makes life way more fun

Than it actually is when you're on the run,

In the ghetto city

I Don’t Know If This Is True Love Anymore

I can hear your heart, hear your heart

And I can tell that it b-beat for me, b-beats for me

I can feel you heart

Trying to leap into my chest

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You clear away the blues

I'm sorry I make you lose

I’ll try to keep my cool

You're not a complete fool

I hate to say it but,

I'm head over heels in love with you

You're being clingy again, clingy again

And you tell me that you're sorry, you're sorry

But I don’t want to hang on unnaturally tight

So I don’t know how long that,

I’ll hate to say it but…

Some puzzle pieces don’t fit together, don’t fit together

Some hands, when put together become sore, become sore

I remember the way I felt, during intermission

And I don’t know if this is true love anymore, anymore

All’s Not Lost

All's not lost

Until I have lost my mind

Now I will write

Into the night As if I am some sort of time lord

I will write

Until I feel alright

A poet’s tailbone

Is where they keep their tales

My tailbone is tired

I shall steal my sleep

From tomorrow

I am a true night time poet

With dry, tangled hair

Who knows where I’ll be able to take myself

Some is lost

And I'll admit that I fucked up

But I can almost trust

That this shall continue

I shall continue on this journey

That is full of losing

And gaining

What Are You Doing?

What do you do with the flooring that gets ripped out from underneath you?

How do you find everything that went out the window?

At the moment the breeze that was coming from all around was refreshing

Time was a weird state of being

At the time the sun went down it

Rang out the last drops of pink daylight on the clouds

Evenings are cold with you gone

You were an exceptional white flag

Out with the old, in with the new

Unfazed when my insecurities are soaked in the salty type of anger

Doing the action of pacing in the trench that I fell back into

Oozing with the blood of regret from standing,

In,

No mans land, with a,

Great gunshot wound in the heart

Speed Of Light Thoughts

Numb fingertips

Heart of hell

The wind doing flips

Finally

The darkness turning into burning light

I don’t like it with the sun

I need to live on the dark side of the planet

I've got a word stuck in my head and it weighs a ton

It can’t be taken away with any of the elements of the earth

Fire, air, earth, and rain have nothing on me

It’s attached to my life

If you unstick it from me, you'll be handing me over to death

Such strife

I don’t know what it is anymore

Thoughts going at the speed of light

I can't see them

Or catch them

There isn’t a stem

I wish I was sober

I'm lost in the fog

The fog you can't escape

I try to run out of it

Without something to stick to it is as foggy as scotch tape

An agenda wet with water molecules

Lightning thoughts tire the storm

The storm gets lost in my fog; it's thick

How do you plan on finding me, when I don't know where I am?

How are you going to get me out of this brick?

I want to feel my fingertips, have my heart be free, and have the wind die down

I want to hear my thoughts and have the enigma of the ride

Dream Days

Living my dream days

I thought they were here to stay

I was wrong

They sure didn't last long

I find myself back in a dreadful waiting room

Doctors, doctors, and nurses

I sit waiting while my heart fills with doom

Mothers paying clean their purses

While the air plays the song paradise

Sardonically speaking of the days my friend spent eating white rice

The cold takes me out of my daydream

If only the cold was sweet like ice cream

I get dragged to a building that has a sign with the number, 65

Trying to text my boyfriend

Off of the unknown I do not thrive

Checking my phone over and over again

It's super silent in here

I can't seem to let go of fear

Is the doctor young or old?

Will they fit my up-down turn around mold?

I rerealize that I'm sitting in another drab waiting room

Doctor, doctor and a nurse

I sit here while my heart refills with doom

I see a mother paying out of her purse

Thinking about my dream days

I wish they were here to stay

But alas I was wrong

Too bad they didn't last long

A Chip In The Dip

Just another chip lost in the dip

The second half of the broken chip

No one’s favorite

Always picked last

Salty tears I cry                   (cuz I'm a chip lol)

I want to get out of the thick ocean

But I'm stuck

No going back now

Everyone sees me

But they won’t help me

I'm oh so blue

Slowly sinking more and more under

The thunder of the storm grows louder

It surrounds me

I hate the coolness but start to like it

It gives me a false comfort that I like

I like taking a risk in it

Now it has me all the way under

I'm drowning

It hurts less than I expected

I see it getting darker as I sink

But it hypnotizes me

I like sinking

I see everyone else swimming

I like being under it’s like I know a secret that they don’t

They can’t see you because you’re under so far

I have lost most of my salt so I sink yet further

The ocean makes it feel like I'm on top of the world flying

But I'm just the opposite but I don’t care

No one can save me now

But I like that, it makes you feel free of everyone

I wish that one certain person could save me

They think they did one other time but they didn’t

You think I’ll be perfectly fine again, but what if I never was?

I screamed for help once but you didn’t listen as I walked away

I need them

How dare you leave me like this?

I think you owe me an apology yet the world still owes me nothing

You think you cleaned my slate for me but you didn’t

Instead you scratched it up

You think nothing of it

But you don’t know half of it

I just want you to hold me, with your gentle fingers and warm me with the kindhearted words you speak

Sorry I just get scared and lonely just like you

Please heal my stone turned heart

It’s been broken from a young age

Living day to........day, broken

I've almost hit the bottom of the almost infinite ocean

I want to be in the sky

The sky is infinite

I hope you realize that what goes up doesn’t always come back down

Angles started from the ground and they stay in the sky

I want to be there

Save me if you care

I hope you’ll be there forever

Forever not never

I Got Worried

You should be worried about yourself

And yet you're worried about me

Even though you were in the ER the other day and still don't feel good

You worry about me staying up too late

And tell me, before you go to bed

To make sure that I don't stay up too late

When you're the one who is cold

You come to me with a pile of blankets

Even though it is you who is cold

And the same for when you're hungry

You come to me to ask if I'm hungry

Even if you know that I just ate

You worry about me choosing to walk alone

At night and in the dark

And you make me carry a flashlight because it makes you feel somewhat better

You turn the lights on

So that when I get home late from school

I am welcomed by light

And when I found out with morning confusion

That you were in the ER

That was when I got worried about you