Azama Tries To Call Up A Demon To Spook Hayato But It Doesn’t Show Up.

why does wiggly sword exist? What are they good for?

Skill: Shows off the blacksmiths massive horse cock. In a time before modern machinery some crazy Germans and Swiss hammered beyond natural human limit. They probably did it as a meme then realised it was actually useful as a weapon. Sharpening a wavy blade would have been a nightmare.

Functional: Good for duelling sword vs sword. A traditional sword allows you to slide off an enemies blade if your swords clash, because the blade is straight. The waves in a flamberg blade creates vibrations which hurts the opponents hands, that doesn’t sound like much but it gives you an advantage. Very useful for parrying since the enemies sword will strike, then the blade gets stuck on your wavy blade or they pull away from the impact shock. Either way you will have an opening to attack. Also the waves cut much deeper similar to a serrated knife. If you got cut once by this blade, you would not be able to stitch your wound shut, you are pretty much sliced bread.Aesthetic: Someone challenges you to a duel, while they unsheathe their boring longsword, you unwrap your wiggly sword. They immediately apologize and run because you are rich enough to afford a wiggly sword and probably have multiple wenches giving you ankle parchments.

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

some stagehand probably: mr. tchaikovsky sir we cant actually hit the drum this hard it will break the instrument

potyr ilyich tchaikovsky, wheeling a cannon into the theater: does it look like i give a fuck, johann

when you’re dissociating and someone asks you a question

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

I have to give bunny suit to my Hector slayer and my tank too.

My grandmother is very afraid of birds. Very afraid, not a fan at all. And, for SOME reason, I don’t know why, my brothers invested in a life sized garden ornament of an owl. We don’t even have a garden to decorate, I have no clue why this is in the house, but in any case they put it in my mum’s room because it had the most space. My grandmother nipped in to get something and lo and behold; she spies the owl.

Naturally, she FLIPS. Slams the door shut, sprints to me, and then, all at once, the fear subsided as her brain kicked back in and told her it was an ornament.

But my mum was asleep in that room. She still is.

What my grandmother did was walk in, spy what she thought was a very real bird of prey and LOCKED MY MUM IN WITH IT

BAD NEWS, MA

THE OWL IS YOUR PROBLEM; DON’T GET MAIMED

someone: so what's your music taste?

me, blasting the pokemon mystery dungeon soundtrack from my car's speakers: my what