Latest Posts by thelostgoldfinch - Page 7
born to be richie tozier (loud, always laughing, thrives with other people, unapologetic yourself), forced to be eddie kaspbrak (worries too much, easily grossed out, full of rage, trapped in a cycle of familiarity even though it’s awful)
i hate my life i’m going to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] stare into the eyes of the bird painting i stole from the met
i lied. put your clothes back on. we're going to watch the entirety of stranger things, while i pause it frequently to explain the true meaning behind mike wheeler's lines, point out all his queercoding, and explain to you why he is actually in love with will byers and has been the whole time.
Can't believe it took me until I was lying in the dark trying to fall asleep last night to realize that Theo's mental breakdown trapped in an Amsterdam hotel room after a disaster and waiting to find out if Boris will ever return was fueled by its similarity to his time years before in his childhood NYC apartment after a disaster, waiting to find out if his mother will ever return.
Like I don't think I'm an idiot, but how did it take me so long to realize the connection there?
Anyway, Boris is the hero of the novel, weirdly! He subverts the central trauma of the book!
Theo is uprooted and shipped off to Vegas, a place where he himself says nobody loves him. Not true though, because Boris does!
Theo discovers his fiance is cheating on him, that he's betrayed and completely alone. Except then Boris shows up, and even though he did betray Theo, he wants to make it right!
Theo is stuck with no answers and no way to call his mother who he knows deep down will never return. Except when it happens again, it's Boris. And Boris completely subverts the mirroring of the book's central trauma! He does return! Not only that, he's fixed everything! The painting is returned and the guilt is gone! The money will fix Theo's mistake with Hobie! Come to Antwerp with him and get over your cold, you're fucking fine!
mike making dustin feel better, saying he has superpowers,
mike defending el when they called her weird, praising her like a superhero
mike calling will a super spy and empowering him
all while he's only felt like a nobody that's not needed in anyone's life
that painting meant way more than will could ever imagine
When Hobie (rightfully) YELLED at Theo... we all got yelled at that was a group experience
i think the hardest thing to accept is that my life is not a novel. there is no omnipotent reader rooting for me, loving me despite my flaws and character deficits. my life does not have a poetic theme or overarching narrative, and if it ends bitterly it will not be beautifully tragic or hauntingly relatable, i will just have wasted the life i was given trying to make it that way, always trying to see myself in the third person
The life hack is that if you keep consistently doing healthy things even when you feel like shit you’ll eventually feel less like shit on principle alone
pretending i dont care about requited love so it’ll happen to me sooner
the goldfinch left me permanently insane because why have I thought about it every day for the past 4 months
me after sleeping ljke shit for the 10,497th day in a row: this is good actually because now i'll be really tired when i go to bed tonight
its that time of the year
the experience of animal in your house never gets old. fuck yes dude there's an animal in here. did you guys know about the animal
ANSEL ELGORT AS THEO DECKER IN THE GOLDFINCH (2019)
If Byler isn’t endgame, I’m deleting all of my social media accounts, canceling my Netflix subscription and gaslighting everyone into believing that I never said Byler is endgame. I think I’d be embarrassed for the rest of my life💀
“Please stop destroying what is left of your heart by constantly thinking about things that have broken you.”
— Unknown
Eros—carnal desire—is an embodied experience, and our phones do a terrific job of getting us out of our bodies and into our heads. In the digital age, we often neglect our bodies entirely, and use them merely as a way to transport our heads to meetings. (The rise of rave culture and physical fitness programs since the 1990s is perhaps evidence that we feel the need to fight against this.) No one feels connected, present, alive, embodied, or sexy when they’re on their phone all day.
And our phones don’t just move us out of our bodies, but they have become something of a second brain, a second body. You don’t have to remember something if you can record it, photograph it, or type it into your notes app. You don’t have to look good in person if you look good on Instagram. Our phones not only hollow out our true selves, but are starting to replace us.
reeeeally been learning a lot about myself lately like oh. my life is actually just beginning
i am really holding on to that 'it will get better' part otherwise i will officially lose it
i wish romance was real and not just displaced longing for what was missing in the past
Living alone is like— I laugh alone (without my bestfriend); I eat alone (without my mother); I sleep alone (without my dog); I get bored alone (without my brother); I wake up alone to an empty room (my father is not here watching the news in the hall); I think alone (the only person here is the reflection of myself in a mirror), and I cry alone (I need my Love right now).
“boris seizing my hand, bloody at the knuckles where i’d punched him on the playground, and pressing it to his own bloodied mouth”
