Latest Posts by theravenflies - Page 4

as my own direct immediate list of game grievances i hate that stardew valley expects you to side against a wheelchair user who is upset that he was moved without his consent. i hate that the mass effect trilogy gives you visible scarring as a direct result of choosing mean dialogue and heals it if you're nice. i hate that the vampire the masquerade ttrpg has a monstrous player class that can appear as horrible vampiric monsters or as visibly disabled people and both of these appearances are mechanically the same. i hate that dark souls games have a difficulty level implemented in a way that cannot be adjusted for disability. i hate that i can play as a mermaid or a werewolf or a horse in the sims games but can't use a wheelchair. i hate that the ace attorney games have so much flashing and not all of the games can disable it. i hate that disability is constantly something that happens to teach a lesson, i hate that disability is something that happens as a punishment, i hate that disability is either compensated perfectly with no drawbacks or something that is endlessly sought to be cured. i hate that no character customization will ever include the mobility aids i use, that the player avatars that represent me will never look like me. i am so goddamn annoyed and so goddamn tired.

Obnoxious how most anti-infantilization activism in many low support-centric autistic communities seems to rely on arguing we don't need support rather than reducing the stigma attatched to needing support.

Simply put, most anti-infantilization autistic activism I see is about how we don't need to be talked to slowly, need 24/7 care, don't need help with going to the toilet, don't need help shopping, etc. because we 'aren't toddlers'.

Which is a bad kind of activism, because, uh, many of us DO need those things. This is a fact. Ignoring it won't make it go away. And saying that only children need those things IS infantilization.

What we SHOULD be arguing is that adults who have medium to high support needs and who need help with or just can't do basic tasks, can't speak or can't speak well, need to have things explained slowly/repeatedly, etc. are still adults and deserve to be respected as such. Having higher support needs isn't childish.

No, people shouldn't assume that all autistics have higher support needs. But autistics with lower support needs also shouldn't erase those who do, when they are ALWAYS the ones most impacted by infantilization.

Came across a video of a guy showing other wheelchair users how to get up and down escalators in a manual chair, and my God, the comments were just filled with people, or rather 2 very dedicated people yelling "This is SO DANGEROUS!! You should not be showing people how to do this!!! You will never need to do this because everywhere HAS to have lifts!!! Its the law!!!!" Over and over again.

Like tell me you've never gone to a public place with/as a wheelchair user, lol. Even in countries like America that have the ADA and Australia that has the DDA, you aren't garuenteed accessibility. You should be, but the unfortunate reality is that just because it's the law doesn't mean businesses/people will listen.

If I didn't know that escalator trick in uni I'd have probably missed so many classes I'd have had to repeat a year because the lift at the local train station broke at least once a week, and the ones at my local shopping centre I think worked maybe...twice the 3 years I lived there. Like obviously, it should be more accessible and lifts should be available because not everyone can do that trick, but why are you getting mad at disabled people for working with what we've got? Get mad at the people breaking the ADA/DDA, not us.

Disabled people aren't these fragile little flowers, nor are we children that need protecting from ourselves. If we are using the escalator, we can handle it, I promise.

I see you disabled people who don't know your family medical history because your family members couldn't/wouldn't/weren't allowed to go to the doctor and never got diagnosed, or don't know your family.

I see you disabled people who didn't know you were disabled growing up, physically or mentally, maybe because your parents didn't have insurance and couldn't afford it/wouldn't take you seriously/didn't think it was a problem because they had it/doctors couldn't figure it out.

I see you disabled people who have bouts of an issue that you grew up with, that are/were infrequent enough that you never really thought about it and dealt with it on your own, and when you have one in front of people who weren't medically neglected, you wonder why they look so horrified as you describe it.

I see you disabled people who didn't/haven't had any amount of care or accommodation for their disability since it started, because you couldn't get diagnosed.

I see you disabled people who grew up thinking everyone had the same problem as you and that it was normal and so you accepted it, because you didn't understand how the human body worked and had no real frame of reference nor the language to ask for help, or the people around you saw it and just ignored it.

I see you disabled people only now understanding that what you experience is abnormal, and that there are things that can be done to help it, make it easier, or at least help you understand yourself better.

I see you disabled people that will never be able to get diagnosed or get the help you need, whether from being poor, lacking insurance, or any number of reasons.

This shit is hard, and there are people who will never quite understand your struggles. It doesn't seem to get talked about as much, but I wish it was. Please know I love you, and you aren't alone.

// Shoutout to everyone with kleptomania. I also have it and I know how bad it can be. It gets better!

i feel like people should know there are differences between a kleptomaniac and a "mwehehehe I'm stealing because I'm evil and i like money >:)" character

Saying this as someone that absolutely loves silly cartoon thieves and goons, kleptomania is a compulsive disorder it's not the same thing as stealing for the need of money or becuz you're evil and fucked up

So stop calling thief characters kleptomaniacs, it's pretty frickin harmful for people that actually suffer that disorder :/

Not saying you cannot make a thief character a kleptomaniac,,but you need to know at least what the disorder is like and have some respect

So yeah, the raccoon brothers from happy tree friends are not kleptomaniacs even though so many people said that, they steal because they're evil and greedy, and if it's canon then it's a really bad stereotype or representation (flippy also is a really bad representation of a person with ptsd)

Do you have any advice for dealing with Kleptomania? I'm realizing I might be...uh...that, and it's one of those things people stigmatize to hell and back, but not one of those things I've seen or heard a lot about.

I'm not dumb enough to think it's just "uwu help I'm so quirky I stole stuff" disease and it's probably not like...completely uncontrollable, but I tend to experience worse symptoms when I'm stressed and feel out of control, so any advice would help a ton.

First of all, I am so sorry you deal with this as well. I absolutely understand how stressful and overwhelming it can be, especially when you're first realizing it.

My biggest piece of advice is try and find ways to reroute it..kinda like creating loopholes for it so that the urge to steal can still be satisfied in non dangerous ways (e.g ways that won't result in prison time or legal trouble)

This is how I've managed to cope with it and the symptoms have become much less stressful. My number 1 loopholes are:

Taking things that aren't owned by anyone and allowing my brain to view it as stealing. (Pennies on the ground, rocks outside of restaurants, free pens or candies from businesses etc.)

"Borrowing" things from my friends and partners, especially those who know about my kleptomania and make a big deal of pretending to really be concerned about what I've taken.

Advice that doesn't relate to actually giving in (somewhat) to the urges are:

Keeping my hands busy while in stores or other locations that trigger the impulses. I like to use subtle stim toys, but things like a phone can help too.

Wearing clothing that would make it super hard to steal (bright clothing, no pockets, very small bags etc) Knowing that I wouldn't be able to get away with it tends to keep me from giving in.

Listening to music or journaling helps with the anxiety that comes along with it.

I've only recently been actively working on this, but as I discover more things I'll share them here. And if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!! I hope this helps 💜💜

Kleptomania moment when you steal a thing and right after you go "Fuck! I don't need this! What do I do with this??" And then you argue the logistics of giving it back.

And then you take it home and live with the fact that you stole something you'll never use. Again.

Jus wanted to take a moment and say..

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAG MY POSTS WITH ANYTHING RELATED TO LIFTBLR!!!

That shit is fucking stupid...I swear..how're you gonna go into a store (or several) shoplift, and then not only come home and brag about it online but do so by sharing photos of the stolen items, a list of the locations you hit, AND the monetary value of the items in question?!?!

This blog is NOT about shoplifting or theft for fun or to be quirky or what the fuck ever...it's about legit KLEPTOMANIA!!!

Sick of Kleptomania being treated as the punchline of a joke or as a quirky character behaviour in media. Like "oh here's our klepto friend, at some point in the series we're going to need a maguffin and whaddaya know, klepto over there will have stolen it!"

It's not funny. It's not a chekhovs gun or a magical maguffin. It's a mental disorder.

Just like how we're sick of autistic stereotypes, ADHD stereotypes, OCD stereotypes in movies, can we also get over the "Cute Klepto" character.

little known kleptomania fact: it causes multiple other non-theft related fears and symptoms. like people being behind you, talking to store employees regardless of whether you're doing anything or not, agoraphobia, fear of security regardless of whether you have anything or not, even in recovery. even when you're months, years clean. hypervigilance and paranoia, delusions, other psychosis symptoms. it's genuinely an extremely difficult mental illness to deal with.

being a kleptomaniac and having morality ocd is a special circle of hell <3

I want to see representation for pyromania that's not just crazy guy set chairs on fire and went to jail

I want to see the actual symptoms

I want to see a kid grow up with a clear affinity for fire

I want to see someone staring at fire and flames while the others are talking

I want to see someone use flames as a way to calm down

I wanna see someone use fire as a way to cheer up and feel better

I wanna see someone play with a lighter like those characters who play with a coin as they idle

I wanna see someone who has lots of candles, like a hoard of candles, a collection of lighters and matches etc

I wanna see someone struggle with impulses and handling repercussions

I wanna see someone burn edges of notebooks without a reason for doing so other than liking it

I wanna see someone who burns their hair clippings instead of throwing them away especially if it was an impulsive haircut

I wanna see someone have a lighter at the ready and never for cigs

I wanna see actual day to day pyromania symptoms in a character and not have them be some defining character trait nor a main antagonist or 'insane trouble maker' trope.

I I think I mentioned this before but can't find the og post so I'm just gonna talk about it again.

I want people to understand that not all pyromaniacs are anarchists, not all anarchists are pyromaniacs and pyromania and anarchy do not go hand in hand.

I would much prefer if people would stop portraying every anarchist character as a pyromaniac esp cuz they're not actually doing acts of anarchy nor portraying pyromania properly. They're just burning shit and yelling "fuck (in-story mega corp here)"

That said, I am proud of actual pyromaniacs (and pyrophiles) who are anarchists. Because I too wish we could dismantle capitalism and shit.

Just please dont go around burning property and crap in the name of anarchy, regardless if you have pyromania or not, a crime is still a crime and there's enough parts of the world burning to the ground and purring people and general life in danger right now.

Pyromania and anarchy do not go hand in hand, do not make these your characters only/defining traits. Please.

Ones a movement/belief system, the other is a fucking condition.

Pyromania centered blogs

Pyrophilia list(wip)

Feel free to ask to be tagged or untagged, generally listing blogs we see most in pyro tags

Our own:

This one as well as @pyrocultureis and @bleu-flame

@burning-for-eternity

@cerviderous

@pyro-baby (last active 2023)

@wilczak

@abiggerbug

@ignis-and-pyromania (last active 2019)

@pyromaniad (last active 2021)

@always-an-angel-never-enough (has pyromania related posts, seen in pyro tags, warning in their bio for other content)

@pyromaniac-within-you (last active 2020)

@p-y-r-o-m-a-n-i-a-c (last posted 2019)

@pyromaniacs-and-flames (2019)

@pyromaniac9

General pyro safe blogs

@clusterrune

@edrecovery-space

@yandere-culture-is

@objectumluv

@fantasy-store

@vineyard-edits

@m4l4rky

Please feel free to suggest blogs to be added or other content we could make for the master list

Fuck it I'm taking back the pyro tags and flooding them with info posts myself I'm tired of this shit.

Ask box is open for questions, shared experiences etc

Pyro culture is being increasingly annoyed with a lack of proper discussion around pyromania (and pyrophilia)

It's also being frustrated with a lack of proper lists of pyromanic characters and instead only receiving characters with fire powers or weapons.

Activities to cope

There are many ways to cope with pyromania.

A few activities one can try that are relatively harmless are:

- watching fireworks

Be it watching videos, or watching them at any events near you

- watching chimney fires

There is always, if you have it, a channel on tv just for a chimney fire, there are plenty videos on YouTube for just that, and if you have one yourself that's even better. Of course this can extend to bonfires and campfires as well.

- watching candle flames

Safely lighting candles in your own home is a very easy accessable activity. Tea lights and other candles are pretty inexpensive and easy to find at dollar stores along with lighters and matches. I recommend scentless candles.

- watching flame art

There are many videos on YouTube around artists who involve fire in their craft, from flame eaters to charcoal artists or match artists and more.

- burn paper scraps or old homework

Safely burning small bits of paper or papers that no longer surve a purpose to you like years old assignments, preferably doing so over an ash trey or better yet in your backyard, and watching the flames eat away at the paper can be fine.

- igniting a lighter

I mentioned this one in a few previous posts and it's one I do frequently myself, turning on a lighter and watching the flame it creates. Be careful not to ignite it around anything flammable and if you try touching the flame do not let your fingers linger on it long, a short motion over or through the flame is relatively harmless. Though the slower you are and the more you linger a surface burn on that spot will show up. So be very careful.

- watching fire on the news

There are (sadly) always reports of house fires and forest fires, you can always turn on the news and see if there's a report that day or search for old recordings of such online.

- the gas stove.

This one only works if you have a gas stove, and it's one I urge you to have a lot of caution with. But turning on the gas stove and watching the blue flames on the burner can be alright. In fact you can cook something with it like popcorn or eggs if you feel like it. snack bonus!

- hot coals

Hot rocks, hot packs or anything that heats up if you don't have access to hot coals can be fine. While none of it is actually fire, you do get to feel the heat and warmth of something and for some this can be an okay fix even if temporary. Please be very careful with what you put in the microwave or leave out in the sun.

Are there any activities you do? Do you have a favorite?

What other ways do you cope?

"Fun" little things I did as a pyromaniac growing up (with possibly a hint of pyrophilia)

-staring into every candle flame ever especially the tealights around the house

-staring directly into every fireplace, the automatic one my grandparents had, the fake one at Tim Hortons, the display fire at a lobby in what was probably an airport

-staring and watching the flames of campfires and bonfires, watching with a smile as marshmallows caught fire, paper and cardboard turned to ash, the wood for kindle cracked and popped as it turned to charcoal even watching while my eyes watered from the smoak

- playing with lighters once I taught myself how to use them and got over the hot sting of the metal on my thumb when it's been recently lit. Flicking it over and over till the sparks turn to a steady flame and doing it again when the flame dies out

- burned my hair clippings in my friends garage after she did my hair during high school

- burned old school papers I no longer needed

- accidentally burned a while in a plastic bag full of garbage and created a burnt mess in my room after trying to burn some receipts over the garbage so the ashes would fall into the bag but instead the stuff in the bag caught fire and yeah wasn't fun cleaning up

- stole from my mom's tealight stash and burned candle after candle

- left a candle burning too long and got wax everywhere

- enjoyed standing in the candle isle in stores and wishing I could have them all except the scented ones

- got happy when places my mom took me too had some sort of flame like a candle in the corner even if it was scented (cuz it was usually mild and okay enough for my sensory issues to handle, like lavender or vanilla)

- got sad or bored when other people blew out birthday candles

- waited for cars to catch fire while driving past a crash scene. They never did

- related way too hard to the meme with the girl and the burning house behind her

- thought burnt down buildings were aesthetically pleasing

- loved every fire scene in media especially loving stuff with explosions

- staring at YouTube videos for days about people burning stuff, blowing stuff up, watching lava, worked with hot metal etc

- got fixated on the tv whenever the fireplace channel was on

- got way to into science class when fire was involved and asked the teachers assistant to demonstrate again so I could sit with her and watch tirth up paper turn to ash

- proceeding to poke said ashes

- always trying to touch something after its been burned

- sometimes enjoying the smell of burnt food like popcorn or pancakes

- trying to see how long I could hold something that was on fire

- daydreamed about fire eating esp after mark and Ethan did it for unus anus that one time

- proceed to ask my mom for sparklers after my friends mom stood us on the back deck and and gave us all a bunch of sparklers to hold and watch fizzle for my friends birthday. Never got sparklers

- daydreamed about lighting the matches I had given my mom after finding them near our back yard. At least I was responsible and didn't let my little siblings have them when I found them.

- related far too deeply to this girl in a book of misfits who lit matches and put them out on her arm just to feel something.

- again with a girl who did something similar with a lighter on her thighs in some show my mom watched.

- loved every character ever with fire powers

- wished I was a firebender like Zuko and being afraid of the fact that I related to azula just as much as I did Zuko. But also thinking azuka was badass until I realized we're both just mentally ill.

- demanding fire resistance even if I didn't play a teifling in dnd

- dragons.

- saved and still save up things like leaves from my house plants just so I can burn them later

- purposefully trying anything to do with fire in my witchcraft, whatever involves fire and burning stuff I wanted to do

- made several attempts to start a fire without any idea how to make one

- tried lighting a fire in our firepit during winter, did not last

And much more

Pyromania is not just burning down a building one day, not just waking up one day and deciding to start fires on people's property or blow stuff up and become a terror and a menace.

Pyromania is much much more than staring at flames as a kid because its visually stimulating, and more than just being drawn to the fire element.

It's impulses, it's intrusive thoughts, it's the small things for satisfaction, it builds up, it typically starts during childhood development because we're all fucking mentally ill and likely very traumatized.

It's not quirky or cool, it gets scary.

It kept me from doing worse things, it saved me when my brain chemistry was so unbalanced I would have done a lot of regrettable things, it terrorises my mind with constant "what if x burned or you burned x" thoughts

And so on

It's never been a thing to take lightly

Pyromania info masterpost

Wip, prone to updates and accepting submissions

Pyromaniac characters(link)

Fire classifications(link)

List of things I did(link)

Symptom list(link)

Pyromania vs pyrophilia(link)

Possible causes(link)

Activities to cope(link)

Pyromaniobjectum(link)

Pyromania blogs(link)

@clusterrune @delightfulweepingwillows @hewasanamericangirl

hi, sorry to be on anon but i recently realized im a klepto and looking through the tag you seemed nice. i was wondering where you meet other kleptos online? like without getting like triggered (if thats the right word) or just a bunch of puns smh

Yee fucking haw, I get to write something again. Hi internet people, tis I, Ko, the reoccurring guest speaker. I think this is my...third? post. Something like that, but ok, answering stuff time. Hey, no worries being on anon, it's there for a reason right? I seem nice...but it's a trap! Jk, I mean, I try to be nice, but does that go well? It's a mystery.

Ok, so I've never actually seen an online space for kleptomaniacs in the wild. I did a little search thingy on discord and the relative rest of the internet (I don't have facebook so I didn't check there) and 99.9% of all of them were lifter bullshit, saying stuff like "Omg, I'm such a klepto" *shows off intentional shoplifting haul*. So yeah, not totally a great space. Like, not trying to start shit, but lifter community, quit using the word klepto. I don't wanna be associated with you when you get arrested. If you're stealing for the point of showing off, and not because of a mental disorder or a genuine need, I think you gotta take a good look at yourself.

So this is going to sound pretty sucky, and I feel bad for having this as my general answer, but I think kleptomania is going to be one of the rarest communities to find. There's a lot of shame associated with the disorder, (I'm sure you know, I'm just tossing general facts out there for some odd reason.) and like I for one try not to talk about it unless I'm asked like I am now, which is totally cool. Anon, no self doubt allowed, I'm glad you reached out and you seem like a chill person. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure there's not really an open community for kleptomaniacs that's free of triggers and puns, just because no one really sits down and talks about the realities of it. Real talk though, I hate the puns. Like if someone's first reaction to hearing that I'm a kleptomaniac, idk, I will be sad and annoyed XD

So yeah, sorry, this totally isn't a helpful answer, buuuuut I will totally one hundred percent keep my eyes open and ask around to the few other kleptomaniacs I personally know, kay? For now I'd keep scrolling through the tags like you are now. It might take a hot second to get through the bullshit, but I'd bet money that there's at least three good people out there. And hey, if you have any questions or just want to vent, I'm here for you I guess XD-Ko

　⟢　Compulsive Liar　𓃉

A flag for those who are compulsive liars! This is intended for people with aspd and npd, but it can be used by anyone that it applies to.

　— Requested by anonymous .

Genuinely I don't care about the opinions of someone who has never been a compulsive or pathological liar when it comes to anything related to compulsive and/or pathological lying. If you haven't been that person you have no clue what it feels like, why someone is doing it, or how to tell the difference between the two or any other kind of lying.

No I don't care if you're a therapist or a psych major or a psychiatrist or whatever, your opinions are only based in what you can observe from the outside and that will never be a full and accurate understanding, and when the nature of the condition itself gives you an easy pass to not believe the experiences of the person living with it, I will find any argument you could make to be suspect.

Everyone stop putting your breakup venting and politics in the complusive lying tags challenge. Stop tagging shit about your ex cheating or politicians lying in a tag that should be for people with a highly stigmatized symptom of trauma and mental illness to find each other and talk about our own experiences.

The problem with thinking I'm 'recovered' is that every time I lie without thinking about it, I spiral into a panic that I'm slipping back into old habits or that maybe I was never better to begin with.

.

Reminder that people who compulsive liars/stealers are not bad people. As a recovering compulsive lier and stealer I had to do that to fucking survive. I lived in a horribly abusive household and needed to steal, lie, amd cheat the game to be able to exist in it. Most of us just need help/ are just like that due to trauma. Stop using us as an insult.

Can people stop fucking projecting on mentally ill people please. Just because you had a compulsive liar sister or narcissistic parent or whatever doesn't excuse you just unironically saying awful things about a whole group of also traumatized mentally ill people. Fucking shit. Fuck off.

hi! i just started this blog as a safe space for compulsive/defensive liars to vent, and find community and support. you deserve to be supported in your recovery! this will mostly be a place to vent, so please submit asks or posts of your experiences that you need to get off your chest. i will also be posting/reblogging some recovery/positivity stuff as well. 

ooh boy love looking up stuff trying to find resources to stop compulsively lying and instead finding so much fucking stigma. I want to get better this sucks just help me get better