Theseuschats - Theseus Is Chatting

NEW PARKOUR CIVILIZATION FIC

one of the things i love the most about dsmp is the fact that no one has the same version of it. the most obvious example is which streamer's POV you watched, but it goes way beyond that because mcrp requires a level of suspension of disbelief and also of filling in the gaps, fleshening things out, in order to make it usable for fancontent.

for example, the fact that apart from the minecraft skin there is no actual guideline for how to see the characters, hence the dsmp creaturification of fan designs we've been over a million times. but it's not just that!!

the fandom also has so many different relations to time in the dsmp. some take the canon timeline but then you run into problems like c!fundy's age — so then either he's actually a 20 year old that c!wilbur adopted and treats like a baby, or perhaps fox hybrids have a very abrupt exponential growth spurt, or perhaps l'manberg wasn't a few months but a few years!

and then this brings into question the matter of scale — how populated is the server? is it truly only the actual streamers/characters, and so when we talk about a "war" do we really just mean like 10 people fighting each other with swords? or perhaps there's a couple dozen, unnamed, background characters? and i've seen people increase the scale even more! make l'manberg a real, albeit obviously small and budding, country-city of a few hundred inhabitants, that perhaps grows into a lifesize scale fortified city during new l'manberg.

and then everything takes on such a different tone. if theres 30 people on the server, the final control room was a betrayal and destruction of friendships, november 16th was the grief and anger for a friend and the symbolic destruction of the country, and doomsday was another symbolic show of whose alliances everyone values, and the weariness of having to rebuild it. if there's a few thousand people? all of those were massacres.

how can we even be talking about the same characters when for some of us the worst they've done is blow up some houses with no cost of lives, and for others they have razed to the ground actual nations? depending on how you read it and how much you flesh it out, dsmp is either mainly about symbols and interpersonal relationships, or it can be some game of thrones shit. it's completely fucking mental. i'm so in love with it

One thing I've learned so far in life is to never trust anything you think during the night.

If it's past the time you usually go to sleep, do not make any decisions, because in the morning you will find them very stupid.

Oftentimes I have awoken in the middle of the night with a 'genius' idea that, just a few hours later when the sun rises, I look back at and go: "what kind of fucking imbecile came up with that"

my entire fyp has become, for some reason, poetry by men writing about women .

Which i appreciate. Because i love poetry .

but i am gay and i do not know where it came from.

before getting in shower: shower bad

in shower: I see it now. The shower is the place of mercy gifted to us by God. Here lies the Holy Grail, amidst the water. We as humans were misplaced. We were always meant to be an amphibious species. For once we were modeled after God, and God is the water, and we are fish, and we are meant to be submerged in the seas. I have been enlightened to the truth. Praise be the wet.

after getting out of shower: shower bad

what? Did you guys think I wouldn’t get you a Christmas present?

Fools.

I present: my parkour civilization holiday headcanons. Everyone cheer 🗣️

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it snows in December but the snow doesn’t reach the noob level so obviously this is the first time Evbo’s ever seen snow. After Seawatt tells him it’s similar to ice he tries parkouring on it. It does not work

EMF loves winter . It’s his favorite season

Seawatt complains on and on about Christmas because they never celebrated it on the Fighter level (he gets Evbo and EMF presents anyways)

in honor of the holidays the evbo-themed houses are temporarily changed to green and red

EMF loves Christmas carols. Seawatt is a hater.

Evbo convinces both Seawatt and EMF to wear ugly Christmas sweaters - Seawatt once again complains non-stop but secretly doesn’t mind (well, he doesn’t mind doing it for Evbo. The sweater is hideous and he will say it loudly to everyone who will listen.)

merry Christmas tumblr it is a joyous day 🎄🎉🕺

Well damn, we're fucked

these are the last days of september

and i'm sad again

because i can't remember

how the story ends

these are the last days of september

and aren't they the best?

is what i will say in october

fifteen years past

final bit of Glass Houses promo before the release tomorrow :)

CHECK OUT MY AO3 AT SONNET_ICARUS FOR THIS FANFIC, COMING OUT SEPTEMBER 17, 2024!

Emf right after getting his ass beaten by that new pro in a Parkour Battle