Latest Posts by thewillywonka - Page 5

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Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

The shade you be throwing at Alice, Mike, and Augustus on here and the way you be responding to your dad in the comments be KILLING MEEEE LMFAO YALL FUNNY AF 😭😭😭😭

And when mad hatter was yelling at you and Edward through your asks and you were like "oh..." I died. And Some girl said you get her wet and your dad said he hope they ain't a minor, please come get your dad. It's the chaos for me 💀💀💀

You know what they say, if you don't like my shade then step out of my shadow. That Alice is something, though. A drunk. Hmph.

As for my dad, unfortunately there isn't much I can do to deter his behavior.

Cocoa here!

So... Have you ever been outside while it was raining and just stood in the rain?

Ah...no. Rain makes you sticky and sick, why would you stand in it intentionally?

We might need to discuss a few of your life choices, Cocoa Bean.

Augustus, if we were friends you would eat me...😒

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

Can you please post the Willy Wonka song you used in the "when your candy sells" meme you made Mr Wonka? Please 😊😊😊

Ah, here it is. Excuse the language.

Benji Ceez & Rich The Kid - Willy Wonka

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

Since you like chocolate so much how do you feel about dating a black woman? We got all the chocolate you need babyboy 😏😏😏😏

Oh my goodness. Are you trying to seduce me by using my love for chocolate against me?

How wicked. I do like rich flavors. You might be in luck, if you are in fact a woman.

Or did you mean chocolate as in skin color? Because in the case of dating I would hope that your personality is just as rich and your love is just as sweet.

I just wanna see your bedroom pweaseee mister wonka 😔😢

I normally wouldn't allow my privacy to be intruded on, but since you said please and my room is in order today, I will this once.

Before you ask, the walls are not made of chocolate, they are designed to LOOK like chocolate. Otherwise it would melt and collapse and that would be terrible to wake up to. Haha!

Sometimes I think about throwing myself into one of your machineries because my back hurts so bad I need to be cracked like a glowstick

That's terrible. I don't know if throwing yourself into any machines would do anything other than harm you.

It might be best to go to a spa and allow someone to give you a massage. Maybe let a person walk on your back?

You're so polite for saying good morning and good night

I love it

Why thank you. Just trying to spread a little positivity in the tumblr community.

Your favourite cocoa bean here:

I don't plan on doing that, but if I licked you, would you taste like ice? Or cotton candy? Or sugar?

Cocoa, if you licked me I would taste like human flesh. Sorry to disappoint.

But if cannabalism is something you're into, I could definitely recommend some countries where it's completely legal. I wouldn't suggest eating people though, they don't taste very good at all.

How did you avoid getting sued by the kids that got injured's parents that went to your factory?

There was fine print on the back and bottom of each ticket stating that I wasn't to be held liable should any injuries or dismemberment occur in my factory. And by entering the factory, each parent and their child were physically in agreement.

You know you really shouldn't beg, it's not becoming of you.

Hi Mr. Wonka. If I in any way made you or your oompa loompas uncomfortable at the last barbeque, I sincerely apologize. I did not think I would get drunk ~

That's just the problem, Alice. You don't think. You spilled heavens knows what on my new tailored coat, vomited on poor Edward, kicked an Oompa Loompa while trying to, as you said, "tear up the dance floor", and tripped and fell into the dessert table. You made a fool of yourself and ruined the party for everyone at the same time. Next time please be more considerate of your guests before popping out a big bottle of the some ol' trippy chug-a-lug.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're banned from the factory as well, by the way. I can't have you endangering my Oompa Loompas or destroying everything, now can I? And I will be billing you my Oompa Loompa's hospital bill. Yeah. Use this as a lesson to be more responsible. Hmph.

Hi Mr. Wonka. If I in any way made you or your oompa loompas uncomfortable at the last barbeque, I sincerely apologize. I did not think I would get drunk ~

That's just the problem, Alice. You don't think. You spilled heavens knows what on my new tailored coat, vomited on poor Edward, kicked an Oompa Loompa while trying to, as you said, "tear up the dance floor", and tripped and fell into the dessert table. You made a fool of yourself and ruined the party for everyone at the same time. Next time please be more considerate of your guests before popping out a big bottle of the some ol' trippy chug-a-lug.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're banned from the factory as well, by the way. I can't have you endangering my Oompa Loompas or destroying everything, now can I? And I will be sending you my Oompa Loompa's hospital bill. Yeah. Use this as a lesson to be more responsible. Hmph.

What's going down in the factory today? Here we are! The fermentation process of cocoa beans. Besides just being a pretty good looking piece of chocolate there is a lot that has to be done at the factory before we can start making chocolate.

Exhibit A: The process of fermentation.

This harvest is a test sample of the fermentation process. It's being tested to see if fermentation is complete, and it's not yet ready as the seeds are indicating that it needs to be fermented a little longer. This is just one of the many other tasks that are done at the factory that requires the knowledge and experience necessary for producing good chocolate. In other words, you gotta have the beans!

We are so excited for our next batch of Wonka bar releases and can't wait to share them with you all. In the meantime, enjoy our current chocolates and stay tuned for what's to come!

And to the Americans celebrating, happy Memorial Day!

- Willy Wonka 🍫

You can't just give one of your followers a cute nickname and not the rest of us that's not fair 😔

But I called you all chocolate chips earlier, is that suddenly not good enough?

That nickname makes my soul melt somehow.

So, I'm just gonna stick around then, ask you weird questions, leave to get some ice cream from time to time, and give you my unshared platonical love and adoration!

Terrific then! Do stick and around and pick my brain from time to time, I'm sure I'd enjoy it, or at the least, be thoroughly amused. I hope that ice cream you're occasionally buying is non-melting and Wonka brand, by the way. For the sake of my own pleasure I'll just assume it is! ☺️

Sure, I don't really care for names either.

I don't do much. I'm just there, I talk a lot of weird stuff, and I like cats.

Nevermind anonymous then, I'll stick with calling you Cocoa Bean. Yes, I like that much better. It's got a chocolate-y ring to it.

I wanna touch you in ways that are too inappropriate to say 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

I see...

And I'd prefer it if you kept your dirty fantasies and your sticky little fingers to yourself, 'kay?

Dear, tumblrs. If you have asked a question or commented on something of mine and I haven't responded, I am terribly sorry. My asks are backed up and I get at least 20-45 notifications at a time, some of which I hadn't noticed until this morning while eating my breakfast. It's a really fast pace to maintain between answering questions and running the factory.

Heh....so sorry.

Why's that?

You can call me anything you want to, by the way. I don't really label myself regarding pronouns and stuff.

Even if you referred to me as "it" like I was some piece of furniture.

Oh, I could never refer to a human as an "it". That would feel very disrespectful. Unless, of course, they're not human. However, pronouns and gender identities nowadays can be very confusing for me, there are many and I grew up in a much simpler time.

So in that case, I'll just stick to simplifying the conundrum by referring to you as anonymous, if that's alright with you of course. ☺️

...

That's the sweetest nickname someone has ever called me.

What you just said reminded me of bumblebees for some reason, by the way.

Is that so? You know, I'm starting to become quite curious about your identity, Mr. or Miss anon.

No insult to your hair, and your hair is great (it looks so silky...)

I'm just weird and sometimes get thoughts like that when I look at people.

For some reason I think that Charlie Bucket likes spiders and snails and all that stuff. Or at least tolerates them.

Hm, you're a very strange little cocoa bean...

Ugh, no! Absolutely not. I wouldn't ever allow Charlie to bring those furry little creepy crawlers into the factory. I'd have my Oompa Loompas exterminate them at once! Bugs and insects are not to be around my precious chocolate, or anything else for that matter. That's just disgusting.

You just look like it. Don't get me wrong, but your hair gave me the idea you might hate spiders.

Spiders move so fast and almost always towards one and you'll have me crying and having panic attacks and hiding in the bathroom whenever I see one. Even if it's just one of those little city spiders.

Eurgh, Spiders are disgusting.

Yes, you- wait a minute, rewind. My hair gave you the impression that I'm afraid of spiders? Is that supposed to be some sort of insult? What's wrong with my hair?

*pokes you*

You man look like you're afraid of spiders.

Oh no. Let's not touch Mr. Wonka, heh.. I spent two hours putting together today's look.

And yes, I hate spiders with a passion, how'd you know?

I wanna taste your lips 😘 I know you're sweet like sugarcane 💕💗

Silly girl, if you would like to taste me then you could simply just eat me, I am eatable after all. Though I'm afraid that isn't a bright idea, unless you'd like to speak with the local authorities.

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

Good morning, my little chocolate chips! Ride and shine! Up and at 'em! Take that sip of hot Joe and let's all have a productive day today, yes?

Goodnight world.

Round and round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows! Ha ha!

Welcome to the Chocolate Factory, the place where if she doesn't like chocolate then I don't want her. Ahaha! I kid, I kid. But seriously. Look at this baby stir.

While some of you are closing your tired little eyes to sleep, we're up whip-whipping it, boxing and shipping it! ✨