Latest Posts by toni-jones - Page 2

they took to it like a duck to water: they began naturally, almost effortlessly, and were immediately in their element

they took to it like a baby otter to water: screaming, certain they were dying, hating every minute of it despite being perfectly suited to the conditions

sometimes love is an atheist gang leader and a religious girl who’s the only saint he believes in

CHRISTMAS IN JULY, DAY 6: HALLOWEEN:

↳ SHADOW AND BONE CHARACTERS as GREEK GODS

the darkling: exists

every 16-19 year old in the vicinity: i’m about to end this man’s whole career

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

#the man, the myth, the legend (sometimes derogatory, sometimes affectionate, sometimes both)

i love going back to the beginning of a piece of media with the full weight of knowing how it ends. you see characters get introduced and it’s literally like

[id: the ‘they don’t know’ meme edited to say ‘they don’t know the profound and life-changing effect they will have on each other’. it shows a simple drawing of a guy with a party hat standing in the corner of a room, looking at two couples who are happy and dancing. the guy is edited to have shiny, tearful eyes. end id.]

something about tragedy.... the aftermath and the grief that follows...

me when im having a manic episode

i have so many thoughts about the ending of Narnia, when they fall back through the wardrobe and into the spare room.

What does Narnia think? When their kings and queens vanish? Do they wait for them, the same as they wait for Aslan? Do they think they've been abandoned? Do they search tirelessly? How long does it take for them to give up hope, if they ever do?

And what about the Pevensies? How do they handle suddenly being thrown back into the past? Do their memories blur? Do they struggle with being children again, when their hearts and minds are already so grown? Do they turn to a friend only to remember that they're not there? Do they whisper to trees and ask animals their names and wait in silence before remembering that this is not the world they know?

Does Edmund flinch at Turkish Delights, or the brush of winter? Does Susan ache when someone calls her gentle? Does she ever miss the weight of her bow? Does Peter miss the weight of his sword? Does Lucy ever hear a song and think of Tumnus? Do they all stand straighter, mindlessly keeping their crowns balanced before remembering they aren't there?

Do they struggle with the harsh lack of magic in this new-old world? Do they dream of Narnia and wake up in tears, a hole in their chest that nothing can really fill?

They spent a lifetime in that world, fighting for it and ruling it, learning the laws of magic and royalty; is that something they ever forget?

Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)

harold, they’re lesbians

people are gay, steven 

i’m a lesbian, carl 

don’t be a transphobe, chad 

we support the gays, david 

i’m not jealous, flavio. i’m gay

just watched The Old Guard and it's possibly my new favorite thing ever but did y'all notice that there was ZERO sexualization? Not even a love interest/love triangle/etc aside from the (beautiful) pre-established, no-drama relationship between Joe and Nicky? There was reference to Andy's past partners and she has a close bond with Booker but there's no kiss, no establishing-shot boyfriend for Nile. And there's no shirtless scene, changing-clothes scene, smash-cut-to-sex-scene, nothing. It would have been so easy to slip into the movie had it been directed by a man! All the women in the movie wear just as much as the men, or more, if you count that Joe and Nicky had their shirts off when being tested (tortured). It's beautiful and refreshing and all the characters with partners drink only love-your-partner juice, even Copley talking about his wife.

Glorious. Refreshing.

they fed us SO well today

the holy trinity

+ Bonus:

Bucky Barnes: A summary

No one talks enough about that one scene where Kaz sweeps a cape over Inej and there are an incredulous amount of flower petals scattering in the wind, and Inej is like these were my mother's favourite flowers, but Kaz is like cool story bro I'm glad you're back :) This boy couldn't care less about these flowers, because he's so focused on his scheme to get her away from Van Eck.

And Inej grows up believing there's no one out there for her who fits the description her father gave her. No one has learned her favourite flower, song, or sweet. She associated these specific items with affection.

And just...Kaz doesn't give Inej these exact things. Not flowers, but a knife. Not sweets, but a ship. Not a song, but the sound of freedom as she rushes to meet her parents at the harbour.

Kaz challenges the idea of love Inej was taught, and I think it's beautiful because what her father said still remains true. It's not about gift-giving, but how well the person has gotten to know you, and Kaz understands what Inej needs goes beyond flowers.

So when they're surrounded by these petals, yes, it's wonderfully symbolic for Inej, but the true expression of Kaz's loyalty isn't in these types of gestures: it lies in the fact that he came back for her, that he fights with and for her. Inej doesn't need flowers, but she needs someone to put her complete trust in. And it is that boy who earns her heart.

New Shadow and Bone Stills

girls be like *he is my comfort character* and then bam its the most emotionally traumatised ficitonal man you’ve ever seen

a collection of seemingly unintentionally profound shitposts that fill me with a viscerally intense feeling of existential awareness

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

That feeling tho when you find that fic writer that just absolutely fucking

understands the characters to their core

writes so well they–just so–they just—their writing is—-THEY WRITE GOOD

shatters your bad mood with a new update

writes a fic that you can read over again and still clutch at your heart like HOLY SHIT I FUCKING LOVE–I LOVE THIS FIC

writes a scene that has you all giddy in public and that one random stranger asks you like “ooo you are smiling :) :) is that a boy :) you are talking to :)” and you’re like “no I’m reading a Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies AU, please leave”

understands and portrays the characters better than the people who make MOVIES with those characters

amazing. just amazing. fic writers are awesome

I know that we can win I know that greatness lies in you But remember from here on in

History has its eyes on you

Holy fuck I just saw the pictures of the cast of shadow and bone and they are so incredibly perfect I don't know wether I should laugh or cry. I am so in love with the whole series I don't know how I will make it into April without dying

i feel like 2021 will be great for fandoms i mean in january we get season 3 of legacies in february we get acosf and in april we get a shadow and bone netflix series in may the black widow movie in june venom in july minions and another marvel movie (i forgot the name) and as far as i remember there is a second the adams family planned and some other stuff maybe we'll even get a percy jackson series on disney+ and a kane chronicles movie on netflix so far that looks pretty great to me. maybe we'll all die because of corona but at least we won't get bored

tfota be like:

enemies, to rivals, to held at knifepoint, to captor/hostage, to allies, to enemies, to lovers, to amiable work associates, to in a long-distance relationship where you are neither explicitly nor epistolarily involved with one another due to one of you being held at the bottom of the ocean against your will, to husband and wife, to EXILED, to in a long-distance relationship neither explicitly nor epistolarily involved due to one of you being completely unaware that your exile was a joke and the other of you having a treacherous letter-burning mother, to enemies, to "what letters??", to "jude nO!", to being in a long-distance relationship where one of you is captured by your murdering treasonous father and the other of you comes to save you but you kick him in the balls by accident because you thought he was a common ruffian, to uncommon ruffians, to being mistaken for a spy and shot, to falling from the ceiling onto your husband’s dinner party, to "that's my wIFE!", to slapper/slapee, to wanting to make her scream, to friends, to lovers, to making her scream, to snake, to chopping off his head, to hugging, to High King and High Queen of Elfhame, to family and Faerieland and pizza and stories and new beginnings and scheming great schemes :')

When I was 17 my appendix ruptured because I thought I was just having period cramps and didn’t go to the hospital so don’t tell me PMS symptoms are no big deal

Dean Winchester be like:

I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do.  I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism.  I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless.  I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done.  I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay.  I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be.  I break everything I touch.  All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me.  I am broken.  I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is.  I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing.  I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative? 

Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain.  I met an angel, he’s not like I thought.  He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see.  He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me.  He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes.  I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough.  My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it.  The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it.  I think I should consider him a friend.  Lucifer rises anyway. 

The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should.  I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people.  Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then.  The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it.  But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them. 

My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else.  I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure.  My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him.  I feel guilty.  We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul.  The angel is back, but he’s no real help.  I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons. 

I find out the angel has been working with our enemies.  Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes?  I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look.  I’m not sure why.  The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven.  Why does everyone leave me?  The Leviathan are out there, a new threat.  At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car.  I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain.  I feel like I’m spinning out of control.  My brother loses his mind.  The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts.  When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do. 

I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel.  We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me?  We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind.  It turns out my brother didn’t look for me.  Why am I so dispensable?  The vampire is the only one I can trust now.  I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him.  I feel like I can’t save anyone these days.  I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy?  But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him?  I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here.  My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him.  We find a place to call home.  I’ve never had my own bedroom before.  The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him.  He doesn’t answer my prayers.  He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me.  I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too.  He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again.  I wish I was lovable.  I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got.  The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright. 

My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him.  My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly.  I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother.  I feel guilty about that.  I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother.  I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him.  I use humor to hide how much I miss him.  My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me.  Well, I deserve it this time.  I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad.  I start to lose my grip on myself.  My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late.  I die in my brother’s arms.

I wake up with black eyes.  I don’t care about anyone, anything.  There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough.  My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me.  I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water.  For a while, I feel loved.  But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know.  The angel tries to stop me.  I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over.  But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel.  Death tells me I have to kill my brother.  I almost do it.  But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again.  Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.

I have this connection to this Darkness.  It scares the hell out of me.  I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it.  Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness?  Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad?  I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late?  Why would he leave me like this?  Will I ever get him back?  My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him.  I just wish I could get through to him.  Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half.  We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it?  God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness.  I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it.  The Darkness doesn’t kill me.  She thanks me.

My mother is alive.  It’s everything I’ve always wanted.  I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought.  That’s hard.  Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid.  How will we kill someone innocent?  I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to.   The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him?  We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it?  The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us.  I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away.  The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me.  Why does everyone run from me?  We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer.  He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real.  My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?

I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is…  I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back.  You owe me this, please bring him back.  He doesn’t listen.  I’m alone.  We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once.  I hate the kid, this is his fault.  I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time.  I can’t take it anymore.  Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be?  How much more can I take?  It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened.  I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there.  Maybe this time.  We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom.  I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him.  Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.

My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it.  I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it.  I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever.  I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule?  I’ll take the ocean every time.  The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words.  The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late.  My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier.  I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more.  I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger.  Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head.  God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along.  Typical.  He kills our kid.  I can’t let myself feel.

The angel tries to convince me that we’re real.  How can I believe that?  Is everything I am just a story?  Have I ever chosen anything?  Does the angel really care about me?  Do I really care about him?  Another one of our friends dies.  I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real.  I meet up with someone I loved.  He’s a monster now, I have to kill him.  He dies holding me.  I wish I was dead sometimes too.  My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God.  I’m spinning in circles.  Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again.  He gets taken from me.  I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him.  I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother.  How will I choose?  Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel.  I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me.  He must know.  He doesn’t want me, no one wants me.  Why would they?  Chuck has taken everything from me.  I have to kill him, no matter the cost.  The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death.  I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long.  I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom.  My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him.  He talks me down, he’s the only one that can.  I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage.  I take the angel and we find her, she chases us.  Another trap.  I realize that I’ve trapped us both.  Why am I so worthless?

The angel looks at me.  He smiles.  He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him.  How can I tell him how he changed me.  He tells me he’ll die for loving me.  Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life.  Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me.  He tells me he loves me.  I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late.  He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.

I’m left on the floor, unable to move.

This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now.  I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.

I came across the original video of the seagull meme! What a glorious day! I never realized it was a video, let alone a full throat and hearty evil villain laugh!

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.