Latest Posts by trashmouthtozier0 - Page 5

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

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Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

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Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

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Bro: so…how was narnia?

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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

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Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

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Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

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Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

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Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

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Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

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Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

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Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

lesbians = lovely 💟

bi girls = beautiful 💖

pan girls = perfect 💗

Richie and Eddie being… losers So have some pure-ish Reddie content because why not… there is more but it’s derpy…

Eddie is Maple Richie is Newt Camera dude is Hazel!

My Halloween costume ( feat. @boyfromdistrict3 )

derry’s department store

Cosplayer: Eddie : Madxwonderland (instagram) Richie : Azazelw_ (instagram) Reddie account : irlreddie (instagram)

Loose Ends Part2 Chap.6 by Romax @Slashpalooza.

⭐  Patreon ⭐ Ko-fi ⭐ 

Questions: slashpalooza@hotmail.com

Reminder that Richie and Eddie are fucking lame dorks in love

Supportive boyfriend Eds / and a bit complicated abt his new braces Richie

And then Sonia had a stroke.

____

Has this being done yet? Yes? No? Whatever. I am, once again, very proud of my stupidity.

I was thinkin abt my boys goin to homecoming and I got sad

LOOK I’M POSTING ART

So i did this weeks ago inspired by > this < post so credits to them (I’m not creative enough to come up with this stuff lmao) i love this movie

Yessssss

Reddie headcanons #9

Richie: EDS!!

Eddie: wtf do you want

Richie: did you know a group of lesbians is called a flannel

Eddie: damn it richie you need to get away from tumblr

Reddie headcanons #8

Eddie: I… I really like you richie…

Richie:…

Eddie: don’t you fucking dare

Richie:*smiles devilishly*

Richie: hah… that’s gay

Eddie: FOR FU-

[Image Description: Three hands shaking. One is labeled ‘Aces’, one is labeled ‘Non-binary folk’, and one is labeled ‘Bisexuals’. The handshake is labeled ‘purple’.]

[Bev sees Eddie and Richie holding hands] Bev: So who finally confessed? Richie: It was me. I made sure it was short and sweet. Eddie: Short and sweet? Eddie: You yelled “ Listen here you little shit, I have feelings for you and I know you have feelings for me too. So it’s about goddamned time we acknowledge them.” While you were drunk in front of my house.

Richie: [holding his new born son] He’s so beautiful.

Doctor: We’re gonna have to give him some shots.

Richie: Oh hell yeah pour up it’s his fucking birthday.

@eddiespaghetti0

Richie: man I really like Eddie

Richie: I better show him how much he means to me

Richie: *sends him a meme at 3am*

Eddie: (sarcastically) Oh, have I told you how attractive you are Richie?

Richie: No, but I'd be glad to hear it Eds.

Ben: He told me you were cute

Eddie: (panicking a little) What, no I didn't.

Ben: Uh yeah you did, I remember because you told me not to say it in front of Richie

Ben: Would you slap your lover in the face for two million dollars?

Eddie: I would roundhouse kick Richie in the face for free.

Richie: Wait for it, wait for it…9:01. Stan is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let’s do this. Who’s got theories?

Ben: His alarm didn’t go off.

Riche: All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?

Bev: Oh! He was taken in his sleep.

Richie: That’s what I’m talking about. Super dark, Bev, but way more plausible than Ben’s idiotic alarm clock theory.

Eddie: I bet he tucked himself into his bed too tight and got stuck.

*in the sewers*

Eddie: If you don’t believe, then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right? You can be as big a prick as you want.

Richie: I guess you’re right.

Richie: CLOWN MAN, I’M DANCING IN YOUR SEWERS, THEY’RE MY SEWERS NOW, YOU HEAR THAT! IF YOU WANT ME OUT OF THESE SEWERS YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL ME YOURSELF!

Eddie: Holy shit

Richie: YOURE GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME IN THESE SEWERS YOURSELF

Eddie: It did kill someone in the sewers once

Richie: THESE SEWERS NOW BELONG TO ME AND EDDIE

Eddie: please stop including me

Richie: THEY’RE GONNA PUT MY NAME IN GRAFITI! CHILDREN WILL COME AND TELL TALE OF ME!

Eddie: Oh my god

Richie: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Eddie: Richie, nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES

Richie: FLOOR IT?

EDDIE: RICHIE NO

Richie: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

Eddie: RICHIE YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

Richie: I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

Eddie: RICHIE P L E A S E

Richie: still short, I see.

Eddie: still pretending that you’re not hopelessly in love with me, I see

Mike: What's up with Richie? He's been laying on the ground for like fifteen minutes.

Bill: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Mike: Why?

Bev: Eddie giggled.

richie: and now for a gay update with eddie! Eddie?

eddie: getting gayer

richie: thanks eddie!

Eddie: You’re the moon because you’re really pale, and deep down you’re dark.

Richie:

Eddie: And I’m the sun because I’m bright, and happy.

Richie: You’re the sun because no one wants to fucking look at you directly.

Stan : I'll speak French between your legs

Bill: That's the hottest thing i've ever been told

Eddie: I'm just picturing someone screaming "bonjour" at a penis

Richie : SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS!!

Beverly: None of you should ever be having sex