Violence-and-fun - Violence Isn't The Answer

dick: Hey guys, what are you watching? damian: Kitten Football. dick: Why? damian: It’s randomly came on and now I’m invested. And then jason came in and got into it too. Aw, look Snuggles fell asleep- jason: SNUGGLES, WAKE THE HELL UP AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, DAMNIT! dick:?! damian: jason sees the show differently than I do.

Rating the links on how well they could do taxes, from “what are taxes” to “semi-functional adult”

Wild: taxes disappeared after the calamity, and they don’t feature in any of the memories that he’s regained

Hyrule: this boy lives in a cave, if he’s ever heard of taxes it was only in passing

Wind: he’s a child, what 14 year old knows anything about taxes

Time: I think we can all agree that Malon does his taxes for him

Sky: I don’t know if skyloft has taxes, but if it does then he’s pretty ok at them

Twilight: not the best at it, but he can do them

Legend: you need to know at least a little bit about taxes to properly evade them

Four: runs his own blacksmithing business, he can do taxes

Warriors: close with the royal family and probably the most functional adult of the chain, he can do taxes

Red Hood and his adopted goons but 19-year-old Jason taking his goons to the doctor because health is important and none of them have gotten a tetanus shot in the last decade.

The pediatrician wondering how to explain to Red Hood that she sees kids, not forty-year-old henchmen.

At least three goons sitting in the waiting area while they wait for the others, comparing their bandaids to see who got the best one.

One goon gets a Batman bandaid and the next week the pediatric clinic receives a bulk order of custom Red Hood bandaids along with boxes of Wonder Woman and Green Lantern ones.

Half the goons haven’t been to a normal doctor since they were kids so the one time Red Hood takes them to someone other than a pediatrician they are greatly disappointed by the lack of suckers and cat stickers.

‘plot bunnies’ was my favourite fandom phrase back in the day

it was a term for fic plot ideas that would pop up in your head and just keep hopping around in there. they’d breed more and more ideas, until you finally got them out by Writing The Damn Thing

The biggest fuck you the bat kids can throw at Bruce is to appoint someone else as their father figure when they get mad at him.

Bruce doesn’t really care if they go to anyone else for help. It stings sure, but he trusts them. What he can’t handle is them going to someone for simple things like ice cream. Or movie night. Or quality time. That’s HIS job. You can partner with them, you better not try to parent them.

Once when kid Dick was pissed at Bruce for not allowing him to be violent towards a villain, he’d grabbed Superman’s hand and declared he wanted Uncle Clark to tend to his injuries and tuck him in bed.

The amount of jealousy and anger radiating off the Bat was so enormous Superman almost thought the man was about to stab him with a Kryptonite sword and couldn’t stop fearing for his life.

Then came Jason, and after getting mad at Bruce for not letting him buy five libraries, he finds Alfred and spends the day as his son, calling himself Jason Penyworth. When Tim came along, he was once fed up with Bruce’s antics and dragged Dick - who had just entered after a gruelling week - out of the mansion, declaring he wanted a different parental figure and insisted they get takeout and have an arcade night. Hell even when Stephanie stormed off and decided to crash at Barbara’s instead of the mansion, Oracle could’ve sworn that Bruce was pouting under his mask, silently sulking at his rejection.

And Damian, well Damian had heard stories of all of this happening, and although he wasn’t a child and refused to throw petty tantrums like the rest of the siblings, one day Bruce’s advice wears on his last nerve and he marches upto the figure reading a book on the other end of the room before demanding they go out to an art studio that day.

He grabs hold of the hand, hears him stuttering behind him but doesn’t pay any heed. Grayson wouldn’t mind after all. He was sure of it. They go outside, and Damian whirls around, about to declare that he wanted to go to the art gallery and spend the night somewhere other than the mansion when his eyes meet a pair of confused blue ones and the words die down in his throat.

He could feel the heat building on his face as he and Tim stared at each other for a few seconds.

It wasn’t his fault Drake and Grayson looked so damn similar! And Drake was sitting on Richard’s spot! Why was the failure doing that?? He knew it, he was trying to throw Damian off his hand and he’d succeeded! He was going to turn around, and hand Damian off to Bruce. Served him right for being so mindless.

Damian knows he should say something, but his mind was blank. He stuttered, furiously trying to think of an explanation before the other man chuckles and lets Kon know he won’t be available for the rest of the day.

Wade cannot handle all that

Cultural differences

Time has to say something mysterious to distract from his boring zora ‘fit

they should make it easier

Four: Try explaining your fight with Ganon or whatever evil was wrecking your kingdom, but without context.

Wind: Old-ass wizard kicks around some minors while the only other adult is a shapeshifting boat-man who prioritised claiming some triangles. Beat that. 

Four: I’m sorry, what?

Wind: That’s how Grandma saw it. But I get it, he did take a few pot shots at me and especially Tetra.

Time: [remembering when Ganondorf, chasing after Zelda on horseback, stopped his pursuit solely to blast a 9 year old in the face and monologue]

Time: Sounds like him.

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