Mr. Lancer Is Just Done With Them

Danny, full grown and with a grown-up job, moved to Gotham because of the low cost of living.

After all, statistically speaking he was far more likely to survive a rogue attack than the average person.

Then he'd just...never left.

He'd happily lived in Gotham for twenty years, and after a 42nd birthday celebration with Sam and Tucker, took to the streets to go home.

He was not expecting to find The Batman leaning against a wall in an alley, hands flexing as he very obviously fought off pain.

"Uh...are you okay?"

A grunt.

"...Is it an immediate medical emergency?"

A slightly lower grunt.

"I...I have ice powers, if that could help?"

It turned out that yes, that was what Batman needed.

So there Danny was, with both hands encased in ice and resting on Batman's back.

Trying very hard not to notice the muscles under all that armor.

Bruce, meanwhile, was just relieved to find someone to alleviate his pain flare-up.

I love Danny as a cryptid energy. Like at first he's just vibing over gotham like a big jellyfish full of stars essentially filter feeding on the corrupted ectoplasm. The bat fam are completely at a loss of what to do. He's not hurting anyone and he's kinda pretty. They just have a giant translucent space whale chilling in the sky. Red hood the first to make contact standing on a roof waving to him.

"Um hey can we like talk?" He shouts at the blob.

Danny comes down and sheds his massive form, turning into a king with too many of just everything, and then just a teenager?

He tilts his head looking at hood, eyes containing multitudes look odd on a kid wearing a galaxy print hoody and jeans (are those jeggings?). He shakes his head and when he opens his eyes again they are normal human blue.

"Yeah," he says, "you look like you might need some help."

"Um," says Hood, "Do you want a cookie? I'm not sure what a good sacrifice is but Zatanna says things valuable to the caster are usually more powerful. And like these are the best. My grandpa makes them."

"Sure," says the kid taking a bite of one, "Man these are good. So I suppose you want to know what's going on with your ecto situation?"

"Ecto?"

"Yeah like the green stuff?"

"The pits? Pit rage?"

"Pits? Is that what the puddles were? The guys around there were not happy when I ate those."

"You ate the Lazarus pits?"

"Yeah kinda tasted like the blue cotton candy? Ecto with lots of negative emotions and magic tend to taste kinda like blue raspberry."

"That's... A lot to process. Are you going to eat the pits...ecto in me?"

"I can but it's what's holding you together. So that would kill you and send your soul to eternal rest."

"Sounds bad."

"It's not but that's not your only option. Obviously I can leave you as you are. I'm guessing you get outbursts where the negative emotions take over?"

"Pit rage yeah"

"So there's that. Or I can replace the bad ecto with good that would make you a Half like me. Half human - Half Ghost. Pros include some superpowers, at minimum flight, invisibility and intangibility, eternal life, and access to the infinite realms. Cons include an awkward adjustment phase, difficulty controlling your emotions, and you would be locked out of your eternity of choice. Once you're a ghost you're a ghost forever."

"That's a lot to consider."

"Yeppers"

"Can I take a bit to consider?"

"Absolutely. My name is Danny Phantom. If you yell that out I should be able to hear you from anywhere in the multiverse. I'm going to be here for a couple of years your time anyway cleaning up your ecto sphere. Looks like the entire universe's bad ecto all coagulates over this city so I'll just be floating around. Feel free to tell whatever authority you want that they can ask to talk to me. I won't stop and none of you can make me but I can explain what I'm doing and it's good for the universe as a whole."

"Okay, um thanks. Do you want another cookie for the road?"

"Sure! Have a good one dude!"

"Erm... You too?"

Jason had a lot to think about.

Do you ever feel a strange heartache sadness when dusk falls?

continuation of my pain sharing curse au :) feat emotional pain this time lol

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THE BEGINNING

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Bruce: *Watching the news* -a group of two adults, four teenagers and a child were seen wreaking havoc and destruction in-

Bruce: *Feeling a headache coming* Please don't say Gotham, please don't say Gotham. Please don't say they are children, please don't say they are my children

News: -Central city authorities have not yet discovered their identities but are working for-

Bruce: *Completely relieved* Not my circus, not my monkeys.

*Batkids appearing at the bottom of the screen*

Tim: Okay, I don't want to scare anyone but there is an 80% chance this thing will explode.

Dick: Considering everything we did today, this actually seems pretty minor to me.

Jason: Only 80%? Did you hear that, NOT TODAY, SATAN!!

Damian: *Talking on the phone before hanging up and turning to Jason* Satan says he's very offended and would never bother dealing with people like you, Todd.

Duke: I have some questions about the monster trucks we sunk.

Steph: You're talking about the monster trucks we sunk in Gotham harbor? or the monster trucks we crashed in Metropolis?

Duke: I don't remember crashing monster trucks in Metropolis.

Tim: Of course not, you were too busy trying to stop the fire you started a few streets down.

Duke: Oh yes, I remember that. My mistake.

Damian: Honestly Thomas, I would expect this elderly behavior from Grayson, not you.

Dick: *Gasp* Elderly behavior?? Lil'D I'm not that old, plus you're supposed to be on my side!!

Jason: Sorry Dickhead, but demon brat is right.

Cass: *Appearing out of nowhere and pointing at the abandoned building behind they* Boom

Steph: What?

*the building explodes*

Cass: 🙂👍

Dick: Oh my god, Bruce is going to kill us. Run, guys, run.

Jason: You heard the man. WITHDRAWAL!!

*The transmission is cut off*

Bruce: ...

Bruce: *In collapse* My circus, my monkeys. My circus, my monkeys.

"I did not think I'd ever use it like this," the boy muttered next to batman.

It was comically, with the police and ambulance lighting up the entire area.

Danny, being himself, had gotten curious and accidentally busted a human trafficking ring, which ended up with batman and his kids (?) doing the fighting and the police being called.

"Son, solving crime doesn't mean you didn't trespass and break into someone's property, I will have to take you back to the station—"

"I have diplomatic immunity."

Officer Gordon stood still for a moment, progressing.

"You can't really, err— put me to prison." The boy took his phone out, stopped at a picture, and showed it to the officer and batman.

The vigilante confirmed his identity with a jerky nod, and Gordon is pinching his brows.

"Son– no offence your... majesty, why are you in Gotham of all places?"

The boy now identified as Daniel Phantom, prince of the other and currently the reigning monarch of another realm.

In gotham.

"Okay, so," Danny coughs, embarrassed. "I'm on university search and gotham had this really cool space science programm. I really wanted to see it."

—

(Once they checked his papers and got his statement, did they let him leave to his hotel + some of his squad going along for protection measure.

Gordon heaved a sigh, "We can be glad it wasn't the joker. That would have made headlines." and slumb in his seat.

Batman grunts, a sound the officer knows too well.

"You're gonna look out for the kid?"

Another grunt.

"Good, because Gotham help us all if that kid gets hurt.")

I am totally in love with your design for young Link/Mask it's adorable and full of mischief. Your Hyrule Warriors comics are amazing. I know this isn't an ask but thank you!

Mask being a little shit is like, my favorite thing ever. Warriors is so confused. The fact Mask is not technically lying, tho-

Glad you like them! Dw about proper asks or whatever, I love getting these, so ty!

Imagine the batkids fuck up major and a batdad had to step in and clean up their mistake

Everyone kinda embarrassed because of their blunder and Jason is lashing out to protect himself from shame

Dick is joining is cause well he feels bad about it being his idea

Now Tim is arguing too

Damian wants to feel involved and u can’t convince me other wise

Bruce is trying ti make a point about safety thats just fully derailed

Anyway Danny as Fenton is just there in the background around all the bad guys he took out before Bruce actually got there like “awkward” but the moment he tries to just tippytoe his way out Bruce turns to point at him “and don’t think you are getting out of this. Your grounded too”

He just freezes. Can batman do that? Is he legally allowed to do that? Wait what does Batman mean by grounded?!!? Whats his move here.

“Everyone in the batmobile we will discuss this more in the morning”

Oh ok thats his move. Ok yea Batman just grounded him. He better go.

So they r having the ride home and everyone is sulking and Danny is just there confused but doesn’t say anything because hes probably tired and it’s batman wtf you gonna do.

So they are at the cave and Danny finally just “so can I call my family to tell them I wont be home tonight?”

You everyone just stops. And slowly turns to face him. “Ah yea dumb question. I guess uhhh no phones huh?” No one moves. Everyone is pretty shocked. Cause one bruce kidnapped some kid. Two theres a civi in the batcave. Three bruce kidnapped some fucking kid. Four some random kid just got in the car with them. Five holy fuck bruce kidnapped some kid.

Breaks over enjoy post

this is it. this is the funniest scooby doo clip