Contrary To Popular Belief, “hating Praise” Is Not Just A PDA Thing. There Are Many Reasons It Could

Infographic by Autball entitled “Possible Reasons Why Your Person Hates Praise.”

Black text in eight white boxes reads:

It feels like you’re trying to manipulate me.

Now I feel like you’re going to expect me to do it again.

I don’t feel I deserve good things, including praise.

You say “good job” for everything so it just feels fake.

Your standards are not as high as mine. If you like it, it must be bad.

It feels condescending, I don’t need your approval.

You praised me for something I don’t think I’m good at, so I know you’re lying.

It’s not finished/I was practicing and you weren’t supposed to see it yet. I feel violated!

I hate it when you try to “catch me doing something good.” It makes me feel like I’m being watched!

Praising me for my effort just makes me more aware of my mistake/failure/inadequacy.

Bold white text at the bottom reads: If I am proud of something I did and I want your feedback, I will probably come show you or tell you about it myself. Please wait until I actually want your praise.

Contrary to popular belief, “hating praise” is not just a PDA thing. There are many reasons it could not sit right with someone.

It’s also assumed that people like this just hate all praise, but that’s not true either. What we hate is feeling manipulated, or lied to, or monitored, etc.

I mean, do you realize how much adults are encouraged to use praise to manipulate kids and people in care?? We’re supposed to use it to get more of the behaviors we like, and to promote a “growth mindset,” and to encourage them to stick with activities we think are good for them, and so on and so on.

That’s so much trying to get people to do what we want them to do! Is it really any wonder that praise could end up feeling disingenuous and manipulative after a while? How often are we just genuinely appreciating something they’ve done or who they are as a person, and how are they to know the difference?

If you have someone in your life who reacts badly when you praise them, maybe take a look at your motivations or the way you’re doing it instead of assuming they are the one with the problem. Maybe there’s something like low self esteem or rejection sensitivity skewing their perception, or maybe their perception is just fine and they’re picking up on your ulterior motives (and they don’t appreciate it!).

And please know that you don’t have to withdraw all praise. Everyone wants to feel like they’re good at *something* and that people like what they do. Just wait until it’s wanted, and make sure it’s genuine, with no expectations attached.

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04. 𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥 - google docs oc template

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notes/rules

editing and modifications are welcome once you purchase the template.

all drawings in this document are custom and created by me. If you wish to take elements from this document, you MUST credit me as inspiration or the creator of said elements.

this document is massive, so there may be delays in loading images, drawings or text.

I do not recommend changing the text, as it can throw off the entire document.

resizing or moving objects/images can throw off the document, so be careful.

do not remove my watermark/credits

please like or reblog this post if you use my template!  ♡

how to use

click the source link above (or go here)

purchase the google document and open the note attached in the download

copy and paste the link to open the document

go to file  →  make a copy

how to edit

in order to most easily put in your own images, go to replace image then choose how you wish to replace it (either uploading a file or via the image's URL)

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voregguks - Ghosting
Ghosting

97'. they/them. queer and disordered. here for a bit of a cry, and not much else.

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