04. 𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥 - Google Docs Oc Template

Actually, I need people to understand that we have amnesia. Not the full mind wipe amnesia that people often think of when they hear the word. We are going to forget things easily and often. No, I won't always be able to tell when or if something happened. No, I won't always remember what I've already done or what I'm supposed to do. No, I won't always remember that one memory from 5 years ago. WE HAVE FUCKING AMNESIA

thinking too hard abt that part in smoke and mirrors where cloud is helping genesis take off his boots and being like huh. the feeling of. you could treat me like a pervasive, plague riddled man and instead you're helping me take off my boots. the feeling of you should be repulsed but instead you just want to help. the f. the feeling of. the feeling of drops onto all fours and starts barking

”Free will is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it” is such a RAW line for Cas to say like whoever wrote that sentence needs a Nobel prize for literature

this is what i've been working hard to remind myself lately

The wildest part about being a system and having known you are a system for a while (6+ years for us) HAS to be seeing people who are just figuring it out fall into holes that you've long left behind.

Like. Yeah. We also thought we needed to keep tabs on everyone to increase communication. In the end it became too unwieldy. Especially since DID evolves with what you experience all the time.

Microlabels are cool and I fully support anyone who uses them, but figuring out what to call every single structure in your system isn't for us anymore.

Another thing we notice is people who try their best to know who is fronting at all given times. A lot of that comes naturally to us nowadays, but it's also... OK not to know. Especially if you're not focusing on anything system related at the time.

I guess a lot of this boils down to, it's okay not to care. It's okay to go with the flow of things and figure out at your own pace. Identity is fluid, especially if you have a dissociative disorder. You don't HAVE to have everything figured out 100% of the time.

It's okay to take it slow. It's okay to not know. It's okay to just exist for a bit. It's okay to live and experience things beyond being a system.

To all the people who are just starting to comprehend this. You do not need to know and label exactly what is happening in your head all the time. Fuck, we sure don't. And we're happier for it.

It's okay to just be you.

2024

DO IT SCARED

FUCK IT WE BALL

REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU

MAKE THE CHOICE TO END HARMFUL PATTERNS

LOVE WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART

road trippin'

shout out to this one interaction i had with my therapist yesterday

therapist: "the best part of being human is..."

me: *tilts head*

therapist: "...the best part of being somewhat human is..."

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

Based on that one jesus meme

Chiitan, Japan's crazy mascot beats up Orihara Izaya from the hit anime Durarara!! (colorized)