I Need Jeaneil Fics Now. They Don’t Even Need To Be Romantic

imagine you’re andrew and you’ve gone through almost two decades of struggle—over a dozen foster homes and therapists, juvie, abuse, finding out you have a long-lost twin, medically-induced mania, and are viewed as a heartless threat to society even by your own family.

and suddenly you’re struck by (or more accurately, you strike) some rando little runner from arizona who throws wymack’s offer back in his face just like you did. someone who hates cops and lies to feds, who respects your boundaries but still challenges you. someone who’s not a chain smoker like you but tolerates craves the smell. someone who, for all of his lies, is not as slick as he thinks he is. someone who sees you not as a threat to others but as a threat to yourself. someone with a killer’s smile who doesn’t flinch away from anything you throw at him. someone who bears the scars of surviving childhood and hides them just like you do. someone with so much passion for exy who sees your potential, not for his own benefit, but for yours. someone who doesn’t swing but sees you as someone who is worthy of care and protection and affection.

he’s so offensively perfect i would think he’s a pipe dream too.

People in the aftg universe should be happy that Neil is happy with just Exy. Like, imagine what it would be like if he personally went after someone to kill them:

They can't run from him, he's most definitely faster than them (unless they run professionally) and his stamina is also better than theirs.

They can't lock him out, because he will break door open or, if that doesn't work, he can just lock pick them.

He knows how to shoot a gun and he's gotten 'knife training' from at least one serial killer. He's small, but it took several people to pull him of Riko, so chances fighting him probably also aren't great.

They can't hide, because he was on the run for several years, and knows how people hide themselves, or he can probably ask one of the people from his ✨mysterious binder✨ to find someone.

On top of that, he would be verbally destroying you the whole time.

Of course he does have his mafia connections and can simply hire a hitman, if he feels lazy. He actually does use those to get at least 2 people that we know of killed.

Neil loves his name. One time he wrote his name in his notebook with a heart instead of a dot above the 'i'. Aaron caught him by looking over his shoulder and laughed so hard he almost passed out. Years later on the invitation for Katelyn and Aaron's wedding Neil's name is written with the heart. Andrew thinks it's just how Katelyn writes, but Neil knows that it's Aaron trying to piss him off.

"Why are you writing Neil's name with a heart?" Katelyn asks her fiancé as they are filling out the wedding invitations.

Aaron looks at her with a diabolical smile on his face. "It will piss him off, you'll see."

who the FUCK is out here doing it like david fucking wymack. bitch has a reputation for the most dysfunctional college team in the country and he wears that sticker with PRIDE. encourages his team by saying hey when we lose we can all get drunk and they win and get drunk anyway. signs some random kid from arizona because a national champion said he was a good idea, let said random kid crash on his couch whilst he proceeded to antagonize everybody he met and then simultaneously pulled the whole team together. fantastic news for wymack. but jokes on you brother that random is actually the son of a serial killer. no fucking reaction. drove to columbia because his national champion called him, didn't break a sweat when his pre-med backliner killed a guy, and at least 3 other people on his team are confirmed murderers. he drives them everywhere and breaks out the line 'fight because you don't know how to die quietly. win because you don't know how to lose'. who the fuck is doing it like david wymack

disagree with me if u want but I think it would be so hilarious if, after Jeremy becomes one of the first and only people that Neil immediately decides he likes, Jeremy just LOATHES Neil. Because in tsc we learn that Neil Josten just gives scary vibes. He’s harsh, he’s unpredictable, and he has that manic smile he shows more and more that’s just unsettling. And WE know that he can actually be very caring and empathetic when he likes someone, but Jeremy has barely ever interacted with him. Neil’s perception of Jeremy that we see in tkm is that he’s just this really chill, nice guy who’s great at exy and is just someone Neil really appreciates. But Jeremy only knows Neil through a) his not so flattering public reputation, and b) his pretty complicated relationship with Jean. Jeremy’s most significant memory of Neil is that one day, Neil just randomly shows up in California and Jean just looks terrified, they disappear for five hours and when Jean gets back he has a huge breakdown and looks like he’s going to cry. Wouldn’t it be so hilarious if this just taints any perception that Jeremy has of Neil? and so when they actually meet up, captain sunshine—the most accepting and kind man alive who is just friends with anyone—thinks that Neil is just an absolute asshole.

Bonus if Neil is completely oblivious to this. They start talking after a game and Jeremy is being super cold to him, to the point that even the foxes notice how awkward the conversation is, and then later that night Neil’s just like: “Jeremy’s the best, one of the only exy captains I actually have respect for.” And the other foxes are like ???

Neil Josten wears a gold band around his left ring finger and is absolutely cheating on his partner.

Before he ever joined the Santa Fe Cougars, Josten was part of a pride campaign for Nike. So was Andrew Minyard. It was a big deal. The interviews around it said every athlete in the campaign was LGBTQ. Josten talked about his husband. Minyard talked about queer foster kids.

That, the Cougars speculate, is where Josten and Minyard reconnected. They went to college together, separated when Minyard moved to Santa Fe and Josten moved to Jersey, saw each other again at this campaign, and then, a year later, were on the same team again.

None of the Cougars have ever met Josten’s husband. Even at team parties, Josten never brings him around. Probably he thinks it would be too risky.

None of them have gotten close enough to Minyard to figure out his relationship status. But, the Cougars collectively believe, Minyard’s relationship status can only possibly make a bad situation worse.

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the crazy thing is u can legitimately see wade wilson, the merc w a mouth, willingly choose to be gentle with logan — specifically after the fight/fuck in the car. because at first wolverine was just a thing to use. he was one of hundreds of thousands of logans in the multiverse, and he existed to save wade’s timeline. but logan saw right thru wade within hours of knowing him (and was able to hurt him). and in turn wade saw logan……they are very alike in a lot of ways. wade uses humor and logan his anger but they both have deep trauma (years of being seen as only killers, being turned into a “monster” by the government, suicidal tendencies), they both have self esteem and insecurities, they both feel like they don’t deserve to be loved or to be happy, they both struggle to trust. logan was called the worst wolverine and when wade realized why and how close it hit home w his own issues, it became oh. that’s not just a wolverine, that’s my wolverine. he’s wounded and he wants to die and he never wants another person to get close to his heart because god it hurts but at the same time he wants to live & love. and wade chose to be the one to bring him home & help him do so

For the few years that Andrew and Neil are on different pro teams Andrews team knows next to nothing about him. Now since he got off his meds and significantly mellowed out after graduating, its not that his team mates don’t like him, they just don’t know who he is outside of being an amazing player. When his teammates release their lack of Andrew Minyard info the “who the fuck is our goalie” coalition is created. They share all the information they have on Andrew in order to paint the picture of who the hell this man is.

One day one teammate comes across Andrew after practice reading a book in the players lounge. As they step closer to desifer the cover Andrew glances up at them with a questioning look. When they ask what the book is Andrew gives a surprised raise of his eyebrow and gives a shockingkly well put together synopses of the plot. After the player goes home that night they look up the book only to discover that the fantasy adventure novel that was described to them was not only an extremely sappy romance, it was also the last part of a queer YA series.

Andrew is spotted soon after at a local coffee shop drinking some sort of whip cream topped chocolate concoction with reading material much different than before. He sips his drink and peruses some large fancy looking book. With only a quick google search they realize that its some complex scientific book about Homo sapiens through history?

A few weeks later another of Andrews teammates walk in on a pacing Andrew with his phone clutched to his ear. He’s talking in an intense whisper, not angry but concerned, about some sort of cat sitter falling through. After Andrew spots them he hisses out a quick goodbye into the phone and hangs it up. When they ask what the call was about, Andrew contemplates for a second then explained that he’s visiting family and the cat sitter he had sceduled wasn’t going to be able to come after all. When the teammate volunteers to do the job Andrew only sighs but accepts their offer. After a weekend of cat sitting and semi snooping around Andrews apartment the brave cat sitter reports back to the team with all their suspicions confirmed.

Andrews pro teammates have concluded this: Andrew Minyard is not the violent and cruel man the media and his past can make him out to be. Andrew is actually a cat loving book nerd with a spotless apartment decorated in soft cream and earth tones. He is sarcastically funny and incredibly smart. And maybe, just maybe, Andrews pro team are some of the first people to see him for who he truly is under his sandpaper exterior.

As someone who is also touch averse a lot I just can’t stop thinking about Andrew. Like a popular head cannon is that he reads a lot.. and like couples are always cuddling or casually touching in books and shows, and I’m just thinking about him seeing that and seeing Neil and just, having such intense bursts of wanting to do that. But then when thinking about actually doing it it’s immediate revulsion… anyways just projecting once again onto my favs… but I think of Andrew a lot

Hello Friend I have so many thoughts and I'm actively vibrating with the opportunity to talk about this hold on

I'm like,,, both. I am touch averse AND touch starved for a Encyclopedia of reasons. Details aren't important but the result is “I wanna be held but I'm doubly scared of being hurt and also of being rejected therefore I shall stand here and stare at you really really hard and hope somewhere within you is a desire to hold me and no desire to harm or leave and maybe this time my body won't revolt maybe this time or this time or this time or”

And look, despite my crippling desire to be Objective in my literary analysis of Andrew and Neil and Jean and all my other beloved Foxes and Floozies I KNOW good and well that I project on them anyway so like,,,

I imagine Andrew as having those Bursts of Wanting just like you described, but he's often able to dismiss them.

With Nicky he doesn't concern himself with boundaries enough to be safe that way. Nicky has to be reminded of boundaries at knife point sometimes while Neil has to be told only once (and that's if he didn't already infer them himself).

With Aaron there's too much barbed wire between them to be safe that way. Aaron has been so hurt by Andrew that some resentment might poke out even when he does try to reach out, while Neil holds zero resentment towards Andrew even for things Andrew actually did to him! Neil mastered the art of Letting That Shit Go For The Sake Of Moving Forward while on the run with Mary - doing it with Andrew is a cake walk.

Kevin is so self absorbed and Exy centric that even the ways he wishes to express his love and care for others is filtered through the lens of what HE thinks is Right and Good and Safe and that's not safe enough for someone who wants to be considered in their own right without any qualifiers, while Neil will look at Andrew and even his own opinions on the matter get reduced to secondary considerations in the face of What Andrew Said. He might still express his opinion but he values Andrew's comfort and safety often more than his own opinions.

It's easy to shut down the Wanting when it arises because of others since the Cons are obvious and plentiful.

I'm betting that's part of the reason the Burst Of Wanting is so much MORE when directed at Neil because,,, the cons are, what? That Neil might die? That's everyone sweetheart, the fragility of humanity is the ever present Sword of Damocles hanging over everyone's endeavor for intimacy and connection, join the club in our inexorable march onwards ever onwards.

But the other shit, those other cons… Neil took care of those already. Neil honors Andrew's boundaries. Neil would hurt himself to keep from hurting Andrew. Neil actively tries to see things from Andrew's perspective instead of coloring everything with his own Bias Crayons. I'm not saying Neil is Perfect In Every Way, but on all perceivable accounts, Neil is safe. Safe to Want. Safe to Reach For. Safe to Touch.

Safe to Be Touched By.

How fucking scary is that?

Andrew looks at Neil, feels that Burst of Want followed by that stomach pitted drop of Fear like standing on a rooftop edge and fucking,,, what is he meant to do with that??? What is he supposed to do about Neil’s siren song of Safety??? Give in to it??? Body says No. Brain says No. Heart says Yes but we don't listen to that bitch, they don't get a vote.

But then the Brain starts getting convinced. And then the Body starts getting convinced. And then the Heart started revolting against their cage. And Andrew is sitting there like… are you so fucking for real right now?

And then Neil asks “Yes or no?” And then Neil accepts “Nothing” at face value. And then Neil accepts “I hate you” like it was a gift. Like Andrew is a gift.

What is a man to do then?

Of course we can't stop thinking about Andrew.

Projecting onto your favs again? Me too Bestie. Me too.

david wymack is such a fierce protector. he loves so deeply and so unconditionally it makes me wanna cry.

like he had just met neil when he said "you need one of us to talk to your parents? are they the ones who hurt you? [...] if your parents are a problem for you, we'll move you to south carolina early."

and he offered him his couch. and then he told him "foxes are foxes for a reason and they know we wouldn't sign you if you didn't qualify. that doesn't mean they know the specifics. it's not my place to ask and I'm sure as hell not going to tell them. did you think I made the team the way it is because I thought it would be a good publicity stunt? it's about second chances, neil. second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."

he barely knew jean when he told him "your so called master and that bitch of a nephew of his. kevin told us the truth when he transferred so we'd know what we were getting into. I know you think you have to go back to evermore and I know what's waiting for you there. I will burn this house down before I let him touch you again."

and let's not forget about "wymack didn’t care if he had nine foxes or twenty-five. he’d stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end."

and how he usually drives the bus himself because "it was apparently better to be uncomfortable but safe than to trust a stranger with his fractured team."

david wymack dedicated his life to showing kids who were dealt a shit hand in life that they can still play their cards right. I heard somewhere once that sometimes miracles are just good people with kind hearts and I thought it was a little corny but oh does it apply to someone like david wymack. he gave each of the foxes their own miracles. I know he is a fictional character but he just has the biggest heart and honestly he makes me want to have faith in humanity.