Shhhhh The Blorbos Are Sleepy

i want the twins to be friends. i want them to be able to sit next to each other in comfortable silence in the dining hall. i want aaron to go grocery shopping and andrew to tag along. i want them to play games together where andrew keeps winning. i want andrew to quiz aaron. i want them to joke around. i want them to pull identical twin pranks. i want aaron to look after the cats when neil and andrew are not home for a while. i want them to feel like family, not just a legal obligation.

andriel headcanons

• andrew really pushes neil to enforce his own boundaries. sometimes neil is too wound up to be touched and the second andrew senses it, he makes neil say it aloud. "tell me to let go. enforce it. you know i'll respect it, this should be easy. tell me to back off."

• they try to raise plants. they fail miserably.

• the cats favor neil over andrew, which andrew doesn't necessarily mind.

• but when other players on their team bring their kids to practices or team events, all the kids love andrew and neil's a little jealous (even though he has no idea how to interact with kids).

• andrew has horrible seasonal allergies and neil doesn't.

• neil kicks all the blankets off in the middle of the night and andrew hoards them. they wake up in the mornings with the blanket on only one side of the bed and they never fix it.

• the first night andrew falls asleep facing the wall, neil doesn't say anything about it. but he falls asleep smiling.

• their relationship with aaron and katelyn is pleasant, and gets better with time, but the only thing that andrew and katelyn absolutely agree on is their disdain about neil using a 3-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash.

As someone who is also touch averse a lot I just can’t stop thinking about Andrew. Like a popular head cannon is that he reads a lot.. and like couples are always cuddling or casually touching in books and shows, and I’m just thinking about him seeing that and seeing Neil and just, having such intense bursts of wanting to do that. But then when thinking about actually doing it it’s immediate revulsion… anyways just projecting once again onto my favs… but I think of Andrew a lot

Hello Friend I have so many thoughts and I'm actively vibrating with the opportunity to talk about this hold on

I'm like,,, both. I am touch averse AND touch starved for a Encyclopedia of reasons. Details aren't important but the result is “I wanna be held but I'm doubly scared of being hurt and also of being rejected therefore I shall stand here and stare at you really really hard and hope somewhere within you is a desire to hold me and no desire to harm or leave and maybe this time my body won't revolt maybe this time or this time or this time or”

And look, despite my crippling desire to be Objective in my literary analysis of Andrew and Neil and Jean and all my other beloved Foxes and Floozies I KNOW good and well that I project on them anyway so like,,,

I imagine Andrew as having those Bursts of Wanting just like you described, but he's often able to dismiss them.

With Nicky he doesn't concern himself with boundaries enough to be safe that way. Nicky has to be reminded of boundaries at knife point sometimes while Neil has to be told only once (and that's if he didn't already infer them himself).

With Aaron there's too much barbed wire between them to be safe that way. Aaron has been so hurt by Andrew that some resentment might poke out even when he does try to reach out, while Neil holds zero resentment towards Andrew even for things Andrew actually did to him! Neil mastered the art of Letting That Shit Go For The Sake Of Moving Forward while on the run with Mary - doing it with Andrew is a cake walk.

Kevin is so self absorbed and Exy centric that even the ways he wishes to express his love and care for others is filtered through the lens of what HE thinks is Right and Good and Safe and that's not safe enough for someone who wants to be considered in their own right without any qualifiers, while Neil will look at Andrew and even his own opinions on the matter get reduced to secondary considerations in the face of What Andrew Said. He might still express his opinion but he values Andrew's comfort and safety often more than his own opinions.

It's easy to shut down the Wanting when it arises because of others since the Cons are obvious and plentiful.

I'm betting that's part of the reason the Burst Of Wanting is so much MORE when directed at Neil because,,, the cons are, what? That Neil might die? That's everyone sweetheart, the fragility of humanity is the ever present Sword of Damocles hanging over everyone's endeavor for intimacy and connection, join the club in our inexorable march onwards ever onwards.

But the other shit, those other cons… Neil took care of those already. Neil honors Andrew's boundaries. Neil would hurt himself to keep from hurting Andrew. Neil actively tries to see things from Andrew's perspective instead of coloring everything with his own Bias Crayons. I'm not saying Neil is Perfect In Every Way, but on all perceivable accounts, Neil is safe. Safe to Want. Safe to Reach For. Safe to Touch.

Safe to Be Touched By.

How fucking scary is that?

Andrew looks at Neil, feels that Burst of Want followed by that stomach pitted drop of Fear like standing on a rooftop edge and fucking,,, what is he meant to do with that??? What is he supposed to do about Neil’s siren song of Safety??? Give in to it??? Body says No. Brain says No. Heart says Yes but we don't listen to that bitch, they don't get a vote.

But then the Brain starts getting convinced. And then the Body starts getting convinced. And then the Heart started revolting against their cage. And Andrew is sitting there like… are you so fucking for real right now?

And then Neil asks “Yes or no?” And then Neil accepts “Nothing” at face value. And then Neil accepts “I hate you” like it was a gift. Like Andrew is a gift.

What is a man to do then?

Of course we can't stop thinking about Andrew.

Projecting onto your favs again? Me too Bestie. Me too.

hi me again um i'm thinking about andrew going to aaron's wedding. thinking about what nora said about neil using two favours, one to get him there, one to make sure he didn't start anything during the ceremony. did aaron check the guestlist eight times to make sure his brother was on there. did he make sure there were places and invites specifically for andrew and by extension neil. is it the first time aaron sees andrew in person since going to med school. does he wait by the entrance, half-heartedly greeting people, scanning the blurry faces for blond hair. does nicky have to drag him away eventually and tell him to relax and aaron, he's going to come, just breathe, okay? does aaron smile and thank nicky and then go back to inspecting the crowd for his identical copy. does he catch sight of andrew and immediately look away, move to a different area, because he needed andrew to be there, but he didn't realize he couldn't actually talk to him yet? and after everything's over, after dinner and the reception and everything's wrapping up, is that when andrew finally comes over. does he find aaron, against the wall, katelyn taking her cue to leave, and do they stay silent for a moment. if they speak who talks first? does aaron say "i didn't think you would come", admitting it out loud for the first time? does andrew say "i didn't think you had it in you"? or is it as silent as so many of their conversations as brothers have been, but the angry devotion touched with resentment doesn't burn like it used to, they're older now, family doesn't hurt now. the bridge across the gap between them grows stronger with every step they take across it.

wordlessly andrew says"i'm proud of you" and aaron says "i know."

You know I get it.

How many times do you think the Foxes have joked about similarities between Kevin and Wymack before they knew? They’d laugh about how “you’ve perfected Coach’s look of disappointment” and Kevin would stare off into space for a moment, a little bit wistful, a little bit pleased, before play on the court resumes under Wymack’s direction.

NEW ANDRIEL COMIC PAGE! ✨

I just read a incredible fanfic this days that makes me feel so cozy and warm omg I almost wished to die (jk haha) hope u enjoy

fake idgafer i saw you beat up four men for being homophobic to your cousin. i saw you kill your brother’s abuser. i saw you befriend a kindhearted religious girl even though you knew the others would tease you. i saw you offer two traumatized boys protection when they thought they would never get any. i saw you ask “how many kids” when you found out that your abuser targeted more people. i saw you sitting on the roof even though you’re afraid of heights because you didn’t want to feel nothing anymore

does anyone else suffer from the aftg effect? i remembers the moment i finished tkm and I was looking into the air thinking "nothing its ever gonna top these books", like, yeah, after aftg I read more books, but i wasnt able to connect as hard as i connected with the Foxes; and it never matters how long i stay away from the books bc im busy with my life, every single time i go back to them without fail, to the way too sweet andreil fanfics, to the beautiful fanarts, to this cursed fandom that always likes to suffer for some reason, they always drag me back. it never fails to impress me how much these silly little books mean so much for me and for many people too, and thats the aftg effect, the feeling of knowing ur fucked bc theres no way ur going to get over the books in this lifetime or the next one, once u start liking the characters, theres no way back.