Neil Strikes Me As The Kind Of Person That Just Like Doesn’t Blush. Like Yeah Sure He May Get Embarrassed

There is poetry in Nathaniel finding belonging with the change of his name. Natalie finding salvation by the God that damned Nicky.

There is poetry in Andrew and Aaron finding a family in Nicky when he was cast away from his.

There is poetry in Allison relishing in the money that was meant to be hers but never got in the end, poetry in Andrew hating the money he was never meant for.

There is Poetry in Aaron having a mother that wronged him, and Matt being righted by his.

There is poetry in the way Dan had to fight to keep afloat, where it was Allison fighting that got her cut off in the end

There is poetry in Nicky finding love and himself abroad, where Nathaniel ran from all that he was

There is poetry in Matt with a loving mother who showed him how to live, and Neil who was kept alive by his own.

There is poetry in the foxes

Might I present the newest print ready EXYLLENT-issue

when I read aftg the first time I thought the best scenes were "thank you, you were amazing" "it's always yes with you" "i am nothing and as you've always said you want nothing"

but now I can see that the best scene is clearly when Neil asks Andrew how he can stand their relationship after everything he went through and then he tries touching his arm and Andrew says "no" and Neil stops and "that's why"

destructive

imagine you’re andrew and you’ve gone through almost two decades of struggle—over a dozen foster homes and therapists, juvie, abuse, finding out you have a long-lost twin, medically-induced mania, and are viewed as a heartless threat to society even by your own family.

and suddenly you’re struck by (or more accurately, you strike) some rando little runner from arizona who throws wymack’s offer back in his face just like you did. someone who hates cops and lies to feds, who respects your boundaries but still challenges you. someone who’s not a chain smoker like you but tolerates craves the smell. someone who, for all of his lies, is not as slick as he thinks he is. someone who sees you not as a threat to others but as a threat to yourself. someone with a killer’s smile who doesn’t flinch away from anything you throw at him. someone who bears the scars of surviving childhood and hides them just like you do. someone with so much passion for exy who sees your potential, not for his own benefit, but for yours. someone who doesn’t swing but sees you as someone who is worthy of care and protection and affection.

he’s so offensively perfect i would think he’s a pipe dream too.

neil accidentally sits closer to andrew than he meant to. he tries to move to create some distance again, respecting his personal space, but as soon as he does, andrew subtly shifts his body over and presses their legs against each other. andrew isn’t looking at him, he keeps his bored stare on the t.v, and responds a simple “cold.”

neil didn’t leave that spot for hours.

🌀”I have a bit of an attitude problem” 🌀5/6 Foxhole Court overlays.

Featuring the scene from chapter 13 with the Kathy Ferdinand show and Riko meeting!

Inspired by this quote:

“Ah, forgive my bad manners,” Kathy said to Neil. “I didn’t forget you over there, I just got distracted. Let’s get the pair of you introduced, though I’m not sure either one of you needs an introduction by now. Riko, Neil. Neil, Riko. Kevin’s past and present or should I say past and future?”

[…]

“I will ask you only once to tone down the animosity”

“I can’t,” Neil said. “I have a bit of an attitude problem.”

Only one overlay left to go! Though I must admit I think this is one of my favourites, especially with Andrew in the front row!

Andrew was lounging on the couch, observing Neil's every move. "Eight times."

"What?" Neil called back, completely unaware of Andrew's eyes on him.

"You've yawned eight times in the last ten minutes."

"I'm fine Drew."

"Sure you are.'' Andrew scoffed, shifting a bit. ''Come here.''

Neil hesitated for a moment, realizing what Andrew had in mind. "Are you sure?"

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"But we have practice soon." Neil's voice didn't sound quite convincing, as he was already walking towards Andrew.

"Fuck practice.'' Andrew sighed, extending his arm and waiting.

Neil took his hand, allowing Andrew to pull him close, until he was practically on top of him.

They did this sometimes, Andrew would hold him or play with his hair to help him relax. They didn't talk about it but they both knew how much it helped Neil.

''Yes or no?'' It was barely a whisper, but of course Andrew heard. ''Yes.''

Neil closed the last bit of distance between them. The kiss was slow and lazy. Neil pulled away slightly to glance at Andrew and then placed one last kiss on his neck, burying his face there. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

How Nora wrote Jean and Jeremy puts into startling perspective how fucked up Neil's stay at Evermore was.

He would not and COULD NOT think about those eighteen days. It was so bad he can't even remember most of it.

I imagine that he only gets small flashbacks when something specific triggers him even later into his pro career.

Jean Moreau head canons

- he loves traveling to away games.

- he could stare out the window on the bus ride all day long.

- he does not like staying in a hotel room.

- cat buys him a usc snow globe for Christmas. "i know you had something like a collection before. snow globes are easy to collect. maybe this could be a start of a new one."

- when he smiles at the idea, cat and laila get the rest of the trojans to bring him a snow globe back from their christmas breaks. the trojans bring him snow globes from wherever they are from.

- by the end of his first full season with the trojans he as a solid snow globe collection.

- he freckles in the sun.

- he is incredibly gentle with small children.

- after all his time in the nest, his immune system is a little out of date. he gets sick very easily for the first few years.

- his knee and the joints in his hands ache when it rains. he is unsurprised when he is diagnosed with arthritis in his early thirties.

- he can use chopsticks but he isn't great at it.

- he is a very talented artist.

- he has a sketch book. for a while it just sits in his desk. eventually he starts sitting on the porch to draw, out in the sun.

- it becomes something like a journal. he draws his room in the nest. he draws the court at castle evermore. he draws his parents. he draws riko. he draws kevin.

- he draws neil josten finishing his drink in the booth of a thai restaurant while he makes the fbi wait for him to finish. he draws the house. the view out the front window into the yard. portraits of laila and cat. of jeremy. of renee. of david wymack. he draws an open road next to the ocean.

Shhhhh the blorbos are sleepy