Andrew: No Girlfriends

Crooked Kingdom chapter 16

THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE????

I FEAR I AM NOW OBLIGATED TO DEDICATE MY LIFE TO THE PROMOTION OF THIS BOOK

Andrew's humour is so underrated bc how did everyone move on from "is your learning curve a horizontal line" that quickly

are we gonna talk about Andrew using his eidetic memory to draw something?? like he doodles in his notebook during lectures and it's the most fucking accurate sketch of a gothic building you've ever seen? like babe you do have a hobby, Neil just doesn't know about it, does he?

do you have a secret sketchbook hidden under your mattress that's filled with drawings of Renee's smile or Kevin's broken hand? do you memorize every one of Neil's scars to make a map of them in your book? are you gonna reveal that secret and show Neil your stupid drawings?

does Nicky miss his boyfriend so much that once he finds a rough sketch of Eric between the sheets of his book? it's fucking creepy till he finds the note saying 'a.j.m. used him as a reference'

does Kevin look surprised, when you pass him a piece of paper, not knowing yet that you made a research about his mother to draw her as perfect as you can?

does Aaron smile when you give him a drawing of his stupid girlfriend or he silently folds it into his wallet and strides away?

does Bee starts to collect your doodles of insects that you make during your sessions? can Wymack hold back his tears when he finds a portrait of Seth Gordon on his desk, knowing who has the access to his study and a fucking huge warm and loving heart under the layers of not giving a fuck about life? you tell me.

funniest thing I've seen all day

Keema:

andrew minyard really has a way with words but like can you imagine how it feels for people when they find out that this short, knives obsessed, batshit asshole is the most eloquent guy you'll ever meet

I mean obviously there is the iconic "is your learning curve a horizontal line?" and the underrated "oh, neil. you are far too heavy to tread ice this thin." or even "hell hath no fury"

but the icing on the cake has got to be "is your spine the spine of the righteous? are you trying your best to step on my toes because you’re feeling the tragic weight of the holier than thou?"

I mean come on

thinking about mór ó corra—how, before she was mór, she had the same name as the virgin mary. and how, one fateful day in the middle of nowhere, virginia, she brought a literal god into the world. there's something in that.

aglionby in-universe memes pt 2

as someone who loves assigning university majors to people i feel very strongly that blue and gansey ARE NOT both sociology majors!!

first off they do not give weird couple who do everything together and study the same things like they have seperate interests

and you’re telling me that gansey, who intended to devote his entire life to finding a dead welsh king who would not become a slightly unhinged history student who somehow knows every little detail about really niche welsh historical events in an introduction to western history class??

and you’re telling me that blue sargent, a girl with her eyes on the stars and heart in the trees would not become an eviornmental science and political science double major and get in fights with people in her classes on the daily??

Maura continued, “You’re avoiding a hard choice. Acting by not acting. You’re ambitious, but you feel like someone’s asking something of you you’re not willing to give. Asking you to compromise your principles. Someone close to you, I think. Your father?”

“Brother, I think,” Persephone said.

“I don’t have a brother, ma’am,” Adam replied. But Blue saw his eyes dart to Gansey.