The Duality Of Humanity:

“69” is now known as “96”.

Thanks to inflation the cost of eating out has gone way up.

without question

100th level spells

Abjuration: Protection from physics. You are no longer affected by gravity, inertia, temperature, etc.

Conjuration: Summon literally every demon (10ft radius)

Divination: Detect whether you are actually a fictional construct taking part in a semi-improvised game narrative or not.

Enchantment: Mind control people so effectively that they were already doing the thing you wanted them to do before you mind controlled them. Some might say this is just you taking credit for people doing things they were gonna do anyway, but what do martials know?

Evocation: BLOW UP THE FUCKING SUN.

Illusion: Send yourself into a fully realistic dream world so you never need to bother with existence again. Good luck with the lich army fuckers!

Necromancy: Animate dead but on all the world's fossil fuels.

Transmutation: Transform the entire multiverse into a no-magic high-tech humans-only world where the real world only exists as a reasonably popular tabletop RPG line.

Universal: Maximum counterspell. Cast on a wizard they forget everything after the day they started wizard school, cast on a cleric or warlock it kills their patron, cast on a druid it causes a global mass extinction and cast on a sorcerer to make all their blood fall out.

Me: "I really love how my health anxiety has gone away these past several months, I hope I never have to deal wi-"

Completely innocuous rash on foot:

Bonjour.

Me:

Me:

Me: fuck.

How are my sweetie pees

Epic the Musical: Tournament Bracket!

Week 1: Match 8

bro choose every possible cheat code 🐈😺

So in this case, what are wireless chargers supposed to be, then?

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

Circe sketch from gigi's design just cause