Actuallybipolar - Blog Posts
I don't wanna take these meds
this mood disorder is indeed disordering my mood
got put on olanzapine...
I’ll say things like “oh I’m just not in a good place mentally right now” like when have I ever been in a fucking good place mentally
Listen I'm not really in much of a place to talk about fatphobia since I'm not fat myself but like, it's very weird how people talk about weight gain as a side effect of antipsychotics. I was originally told by psychiatrist that he was hesitant to try olanzapine because "it'll make you fat" as if that was somehow worse than mania and psychosis?
Not saying that there aren't any side effects from antipsychotics worth being scared of, but weight gain isn't one of them. It's ingrained into a lot of people to be scared of the weight gain you might experience from antipsychotics, but mental illness is way scarier than being fat. It's just more proof doctors prefer sick thin people to fat healthy people.
have to switch meds AGAIN ugh I couldn't handle going to sleep at 10:30 on this latuda, I'm convinced this medication is actually a tranquilizer like y am I so tired
maybe i’m just projecting but i think there’s an inherent loneliness in living with a severe mental illness that makes you feel permanently estranged from others and long for the kind of connection where you feel completely understood and accepted, all while knowing other people have their own stuff to deal with or are just not equipped to ride out the worst of the illness with you. this leads to downplaying and/or hiding your symptoms as best you can, which takes even more of a psychological toll on you. this leads to not feeling loved as a complete person, and maybe not recognizing that love when it is present, or always fearing the day people have had enough and leave. even more so if this has already happened to you. it’s so exhausting and sad
bipolar is truly the everything illness. right now i just have symptoms. idk of what specifically this time but they’re definitely happening