Aot Angst - Blog Posts
was thinking about aot, mha, and jjk and all the angst in the shows and the characters who’ve died and came up with this angst drabble. i apologize in advance. (could also apply to characters from other shows.) (was thinking a bit about jason todd here and some mcu characters.)
cw; angst but not too bad, allusions to character death (thinking about writing a whole fic on this, might turn it into a story don’t know what character i’d pick though.)
as usual please don’t use, copy, or steal my works. thank you and enjoy 😊
in the dark of the night, when the people sleep and the city is quiet, on a rooftop under the clear sky, two figures sit and watch the stars.
“do you ever think about redoing it all?” a whispered voice carries in the wind, a chill running through his veins.
there’s a soft humming sound that filters in the air, an acknowledgment of the question and a que to continue.
“if you had the chance to go back and do it again, would you? would you change anything?”
his head tilts as he processes your words. the stars blink at him in anticipation, silently awaiting his answer.
“i don’t know.”
his voice is meager, afraid to speak any louder and scare you away again.
“do you?”
such a simple question yet the answer is anything but.
he draws in a breath at your silence.
“i think i would change one thing.”
a pause, he turns to look at you.
“i’d fighter harder not to lose you.”
he smiles softly and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. you continue to stare at the sky, afraid it’ll all disappear if you move.
“y/n… you lose me no matter what you do.”
you sigh and his touch is gone just as quickly as you felt it.
glancing to where he sits, you choke back a sob, he’s already fading as the light from the sun starts to rise.
“i know.” you feel like you can’t breathe as the words force their way past your lips.
he smiles. it’s broken.
“i’m sorry.” your heartbreaks as he speaks, you’re starting to forget what he sounds like, it’s been so long.
“i love you.” you reach for him, hoping, no praying, that you can touch him, feel him one last time before he slips from your grasp again.
“i know.” he never says it back and you know it’s because you never confessed when he was alive so you can’t imagine what the words would sound like on his lips.
not even your dreams can bring you solace as you watch him fade completely, your body jolting upright in the sweat soaked bed you lay.
the tears are steadily streaming down your face and you do nothing to stop them as the sun crests over the horizon and the light sneaks into your room.
“why’d you have to go?”
there’s no answer, there’s never been one and you doubt you’ll get one in this lifetime.
Soulmates who weren't meant to be
Season 4 au!
Not confirmed relationship au!
Word count: 1,1k
Disclaimer: this goes after 9th episode and afterwards it is NOT CANNON, it doesn't contain manga spoilers.
Warnings: major character death, angst
She was there. Beautiful as always, Mikasa Ackerman. Her hair was short, but the prettiest you've ever seen, her eyes were grey, and just mesmerizing. How could one not fall in love with her? Sighing you realized you've been thinking about her for an hour already and you should head to another meeting for the situation with Marley.
You went to a meeting where everyone already was. When you sat yourself you nodded towards Yelena who started explaining next moves... You couldn't believe it,
You were going on an attack mission in Marley.
Once meeting was over you were in your room sitting on a chair next to table looking in distance.
This wasn't going to be good. You knew that you weren't strong enough to stay alive for the new mission, you knew it wasn't going to end well. You were afraid, afraid she will never know, and it wouldn't be fair if she didn't know. And you didn't want to let that happen, yet you couldn't talk to her, so you were writing her a latter. A latter expressing all of your thoughts and emotions, it was going to be latter she will get once you're already dead. You are going to give it to Armin once you're on airship. Writing the latter a single tear escaped your eye and hit the letter. That was it, you just knew it.
____________________________
The time came, you were on airship sitting next to Mikasa with a latter hidden in your uniform. You got out of your sit and went to Armin pulling him to side "What are you doing?!" he whisper-yelled and then you gave him latter saying "Armin, listen. I know I have no chance surviving this mission, it's impossible, I may be strong, but I can't put up with Marleys, so please, once I'm dead give this to Mikasa" Armin looked at you shocked after you finished, his look softened up and he nodded not wanting to make you feel worse, but before you went back he hugged you, for one last time. Secretly he just hoped he'll never have to give the latter to Mikasa. He looked back at you, sad look all over his face
When you sat next to Mikasa she gave you questioning look "What did you talk about with Armin?" you smiled and looked up "you'll know once this mission is over" you looked at her and smiled once again with closed eyes. Slowly you put your head on her shoulder asking her if it was okay, she only nodded which was enough to put a smile on your face.
________________________________________
You were in war zone now. Shooting people but being careful not to shoot innocent civilians or even worse, kids. It went pretty good that for a moment you even had a hope that Armin won't have to give Mikasa the latter. A smile crept on your face as you thought about her, but your eyes were still focused on what's in front of you. Maybe it wasn't all worthless after all, maybe this won't be that bad, your hope was raising as time passed by, you couldn't wait coming back and hugging her.
Mikasa went to you to see how you were doing and you smiled at her. It was truly something that she couldn't describe, your smile was so warm even in situations like this. She can't help but lose her focus, only thing in her head were you and your mesmerizing smile. Out of nowhere you see bullet flying to her. You screamed and went to shield her with your whole body. You felt a bullet piercing through your back and you fell onto Mikasa.
With a little bit of strength that you had you went to your beck and Mikasa was in shock, once she realized what happened she shot the person who shot you and then turned to you. You whispered 'stupid hope' over and over again until she pulled your head to look at her. A soft smile was now placed on your face and you whispered "I'm sorry" and then closed your eyes. You knew that it was end, and you'll never get to be with her, yet you can't be sad. You were just full of hope, hope that she'll be okay. Your mind was numb, and you lost all the control in your body.
Mikasa was yelling your name, calling you over and over again, knowing that the hope is lost. She couldn't believe it. It's over. She didn't want to believe it, yet here we are, everything stopped in her eyes. Only thing important was you, you and only you. She didn't understand it, why did you apologize? It was her who lost focus, so why? But she knew that you won't respond to her anymore, so, why was she yelling at your dead body? She didn't know but she did, the screams of agony, she didn't want to believe she lost you.
Levi and Hange heard her so they went to search, once they saw your dead body they immediately knew what was up. They ran as fast as they could asking Mikasa what happened "it's my fault" was only thing that fell out of her mouth. Over and over again. Her voice barely above the whisper. They tried calming her down and asking her again "she was shielding me when I lost my focus,, I was thinking about her so much I couldn't even protect her or myself." when she finished Hange was calming her down telling her it was okay, and it wasn't her fault. Mikasa was hugging Hange so hard, no one had ever seen her like this. It was totally new for them. She lost her usual calm aura and was showing her deep hurt. Even Levi showed a lot of signs of worry and pet her back.
________________________________________
Once they were back Mikasa had gone to your grave. Leaning on grave she sat in silence and soon enough she saw someone in distance.
It was Armin. He sat next to her in comfortable silence for few moments and then gave her the latter saying "They wanted me to give you this once they die... I hoped I wouldn't ever have to give it to you" she looked at the latter, then at Armin "I will leave you at peace now" He said and disappeared in distance.
She looked at latter and with a bit of hesitation opened it and started reading.
"Dear Mikasa,
If you're reading this that means I'm dead, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never had courage to confess to you, I'm sorry I never kissed you, married you. I know that this is hard, but please try being happy. That's my last wish, for you to be happy. Make new memories, try living your best life. Be sure to let people talk to you, and don't be too sad about me. Maybe I'm not here anymore, but that doesn't mean nobody else is, so don't be sad. And remember I'm watching you from above, hoping you to be happy.
Love, Y/n"
She looked at the sky with tears in her eyes but smile on her face. "if that's what you want then so it be, I will try being happy, for you. Y/n."
That's all she could have done, and all she did. But what else could have happened? After all, you were just,
Soulmates who weren't meant to be
Sorrowful Secrets
Hange x Reader angst
Y/n sighs as they pack their clothes in a suitcase with tears in their eyes. They had a mission to fulfill, it was for their own good. Right? They hurry knowing Hange should be home soon. ‘I can’t let them see me.’ They thought, their boss told them to come in secret. No one even Hange could see them.
They wipe their eyes as they grab resources. As they finish up they hear their bedroom door crack. “Hello my love!” Hange hugs them with a smile as they smile gently at them. “Why are you dressed it like 1 am?” They say tilting their head as they adjust their glasses.
“I have some business to attend to.” They say as they walk out of Hange’s arms. “O-oh well what are you doing.” They ask nervously as their anxiety starts to hit. “I can’t say.” They wipe their eyes as they try not to break down in tears. “Why not, I’m your partner we’re supposed to tell each other everything.” They sigh they begin to walk as Hange grabs the back of their collar.
“Hange let go your making this harder than it needs to be.” They wrap their arms around y/n’s arm as tears fall out of their eyes. “I-I’m not letting you go! Not again..” they cry into them as they beg them not to go. “Hange, please let go I need to go now-“ “just tell me where your going!!!” Y/n knew for a fact they thought they may have been cheating.
They throw Hange off of them to the ground. As they look down shocked at their own outburst. Hange starts crying out as they grab their hair. “M’ sorry I don’t know what I did wrong! I can fix myself I’ll change for you!” They yell trying to make them stay.
“Your perfect the way you are Hange. I need to go I’ll be back.” They kiss their forehead leaving them to cry in their shared room. “I love you y/n…” they lay on the floor crying.