X Reader Angst - Blog Posts

You had wondered why he was spending so much more time in the office.

You almost wished you had minded your own business because nothing could hurt more than the sight in front of you. He hadn’t even spotted you yet, busy paying attention to the blonde under his desk, his secretary you realize. The very woman he had told you not to worry about."We're just coworkers Y/N” he had promised but he was a demon now, his promises meant nothing but stupidly you had hung onto every single one trusting that the love of your life wouldn’t lead you on and lie to you, a mistake on your part you’re now realizing as you watch him with his head tossed back in pleasure a look you knew well. Tears pricked your eyes as your chest felt tight, suffocating almost as you stood there frozen. A sniffle escaping you as you fight off the urge to collapse into a sobbing mess in front of all of his already gossiping coworkers, that sniffle was enough to alert his senses to your presence as he quickly pushed the blonde away, “Y/n what’re you doing here?” he asked shocked as he attempted to straighten out his clothes “I came to bring you lunch but that was clearly a mistake” you spat no longer caring about protecting his public image “Y/n it’s not what it looks like I promise” he swore walking towards you as if you were a hurt animal in need of rescuing “oh so your dick wasn’t just down her throat?” you ask sarcastically knowing good and well that you had caught him, and no matter how much it hurt you had to end things or he would only do it again. “Well, it was but I promise you it didn’t mean anything” he attempted to soothe you but it only made you see red through your tears as people gathered around to watch the spectacle all he did was throw around promises as if they meant anything to you anymore. “Do you think I’m stupid Lucifer? Do you think so lowly of me that you would consider this okay??” You hiccuped trying not to cry in front of him as he quickly shook his head “No of course not my love-” “Don’t call me that” you snapped shoving his lunch into his chest angrily knowing he was much too prideful to defend his actions against you not that it would fix anything cause you both knew, despite everything you’ve been through, that the two of you were over and there was nothing as painful as as the look of regret you could see in his bright red eyes before you turned away. As you walked away, you did so with the knowledge that you would no longer be hanging onto the promises of a man who could so easily betray you for who knows how long while you were waiting for his return.

was thinking about aot, mha, and jjk and all the angst in the shows and the characters who’ve died and came up with this angst drabble. i apologize in advance. (could also apply to characters from other shows.) (was thinking a bit about jason todd here and some mcu characters.)

cw; angst but not too bad, allusions to character death (thinking about writing a whole fic on this, might turn it into a story don’t know what character i’d pick though.)

as usual please don’t use, copy, or steal my works. thank you and enjoy 😊

in the dark of the night, when the people sleep and the city is quiet, on a rooftop under the clear sky, two figures sit and watch the stars.

“do you ever think about redoing it all?” a whispered voice carries in the wind, a chill running through his veins.

there’s a soft humming sound that filters in the air, an acknowledgment of the question and a que to continue.

“if you had the chance to go back and do it again, would you? would you change anything?”

his head tilts as he processes your words. the stars blink at him in anticipation, silently awaiting his answer.

“i don’t know.”

his voice is meager, afraid to speak any louder and scare you away again.

“do you?”

such a simple question yet the answer is anything but.

he draws in a breath at your silence.

“i think i would change one thing.”

a pause, he turns to look at you.

“i’d fighter harder not to lose you.”

he smiles softly and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. you continue to stare at the sky, afraid it’ll all disappear if you move.

“y/n… you lose me no matter what you do.”

you sigh and his touch is gone just as quickly as you felt it.

glancing to where he sits, you choke back a sob, he’s already fading as the light from the sun starts to rise.

“i know.” you feel like you can’t breathe as the words force their way past your lips.

he smiles. it’s broken.

“i’m sorry.” your heartbreaks as he speaks, you’re starting to forget what he sounds like, it’s been so long.

“i love you.” you reach for him, hoping, no praying, that you can touch him, feel him one last time before he slips from your grasp again.

“i know.” he never says it back and you know it’s because you never confessed when he was alive so you can’t imagine what the words would sound like on his lips.

not even your dreams can bring you solace as you watch him fade completely, your body jolting upright in the sweat soaked bed you lay.

the tears are steadily streaming down your face and you do nothing to stop them as the sun crests over the horizon and the light sneaks into your room.

“why’d you have to go?”

there’s no answer, there’s never been one and you doubt you’ll get one in this lifetime.

𝙄𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩?

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just a small thought that came into my head

warning(s): insecurities, self doubt, a pinch of angst

(reader is gender neutral)

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You knew how close Steven and Connie were. Sure Steven was your friend but that didn't stop the feelings you had for him. His smile, his charm, his laugh, everything about him you loved. But you were just friends right? If you two were friends then why do you stare at him longer than usual, why did you let yourself get closer to him when you know he could have something for Connie?

You didn't hate Connie, you always thought she was good for Steven a good person. But you noticed ever since the three of you were younger, the glances, the blushing, the touches, you saw it all. But you didn't do anything, did you? Of course you couldn't you never could comfort him like Connie did, you couldn't relate to him like Connie did, you could rarely do anything for him cause you knew 𝙨𝙝𝙚 could do it better.

As the years went on, you remember hearing about Steven finally deciding to leave Beach City and it broke you. But did you really have any say? You had to be happy for your best friend.

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You hugged him goodbye and told him to be careful on the road, he thanked you and before leaving he kissed Connie. Your heart shattered into a million pieces, but you had to keep a straight face for him as you waved him goodbye. Watching him leave and kiss Connie hurt but 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚?

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𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑠/𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒: 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒! 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦𝑒𝑑!!!

oh god, i wanna feel again

pairing - joel miller x !female! reader

synopsis - i feel like y'all already know. but then again, no you don't.

warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, canon TLOU violence, descriptions of depression, main character death, suicide

please do not read if suicide or mentions of the topic will trigger you. your mental health matters more than a piece of fanfiction.

word count - 0.9k

it had been silent for weeks now.

the miller home, that was what was silent.

the big wooden house just on the corner of the street that connected the residences to the main parts of jackson. the house with the hand-painted mailbox with the inking of the word 'miller' messily drawn into its side.

a house that you couldn't bring yourself to look at. every time you found yourself walking that block, you made a detour. every time. without fail. you couldn't even bring yourself to tip your head in its direction.

you didn't want to see the wisps of what could've been. the life that you could have had, the love that you could have held onto if you had been faster. if you had been stronger. if you had been there like you said that you always would be.

but you were a liar.

"m'here for you," you had said, leaning into the flannel that was wrapped delicately around the tops of your shoulders. "even if y'don't want me t'be."

joel turned back to you, seeing the genuine truth glinting in your eyes like the stars that you were both occupied with watching. your lips curved into a smile when his gaze met yours - just as soft and loving as the millions of times that you'd smiled at him before.

he'd leaned closer to you, calloused hands cradling either side of your face like you were the one things his hands were made to hold. you nuzzled the warmth that radiated up from his skin, smiling as he pressed a kiss to your forhead. his lips lingered, his breath fanned out over your skin, and he'd muttered a quiet, "love you" against your skin.

you couldn't look ellie in the eyes either. you didn't want to see the sadness in her eyes, you didn't want to see the slump of her shoulders, you didn't want to be reminded of what she had lost that day.

because you didn't just lose the love of your life. she'd lost her dad that day. and it was your fault ... it had always been your fault.

you didn't even try. you just laid there underneath nora's legs, her knees pressing into the center of your spine, keeping you pinned down against the ground. you had screamed, sure, but what good would your voice do in the face of a vengeful daughter?

nothing. that was the answer.

it wouldn't do jackshit.

abby still hit the club against the side of his head. still killed him. it didn't matter to her that you had screamed. that you had begged. that you had cried and pleaded and whimpered and shouted. it didn't fucking matter.

joel's blank eyes had stared at you, the sight of them forever engrained into your memory. his bloodied body laid in front of you, his fingers already pale like he had been dead for weeks. his eyes were puffy, blood clung to his skin, his chest was still.

as much as you didn't want to believe it, he was dead.

and you'd been right there, the entire time.

your mind hadn't shut up since then. whispers in the shadows that followed you, echoes of his pain, echoes of your pain. you heard your own voice every night when your head hit the pillow. you heard him gurgling, choking on his own blood. you heard the impact of metal on skin.

it was like a cycle. never-ending. always continuing right from the beginning once it was finished.

you just wanted it to stop.

guilt followed you like a plague. it clung to your skin like a leech, sucking away whatever humanity still remained in your hollowed-out bones. it didn't leave you alone, didn't let you rest. always following, always there.

the gun looked friendly one night. it wasn't yours, it was his. a polished piece of metal that he'd cleaned a night or two before taking that patrol with dina.

you reached for it, not really thinking. you turned it over, seeing his initals that he'd carved into the handle. beside it was a tiny heart, that had been your little addition.

"to remind you of little ol' me," you'd told him lovingly. he'd kissed you after that.

dragging your feet, you found yourself on the porch of the wooden house on the corner. the first time in ... what? two weeks? three? four? hell, you didn't know.

the inside was the same as the day that he left. it was still cozy, still warm, still the remanants of a home. everything was right where he had left it last, clean and organized.

you exhale slowly, standing in the center of the living room. slowly you turn in a circle, taking in the surroundings that seemed to mock you. they remind you of what you could have had, of the domesticity that you had been chasing for years.

of the love that had slipped through your fingers like sand.

the muzzle presses cold against your temple. it makes you shiver.

your finger presses against the trigger, caressing it like the cheek of the lover that you had lost.

one...

two...

bang.

the gun hits the floor before you do. blood sprays the wall behind you, some of it paints the floor beneath you. the breath that leaves you is quick, fleeting.

your hand outstretches, your mind goes blank, and your world ends.

but it didn't matter.

you had been dead for a long time anyway.

you had died in that room with him. the only difference was that only one of you had stopped breathing.

things were quiet now.

the miller house was quiet.

fin.