Aph Face Family - Blog Posts

spaceflower07

4 years ago

Gameshow Time

Yao: Hello and welcome to our favorite game show: Is He Good Enough For Him (Probably Not)! Today we have Alfred with us who just introduced his new bae to his family at home! Alfred: Hi I'm Alfred and I've been friends with Ivan for months and we just made things official! My family knows him so I'm just wondering what they think of him. Yao: Well you've come to the right show! Now let's look at our contestants today: We have Francis, Matthew and Arthur! Alfred are you ready? Alfred: Yes I am! Here's question number one, what is the noise you guys collectively made when I walked into the house and announced Ivan as my boyfriend: A. "oooh" B. "ehhhhh" C. "ughh" Arthur: B. ehhh. Yao: And ding ding ding, that's correct! Alfred: I didn't know that "ehhh" was you guys' reaction to Ivan being my boyfriend. [guilty silence] Matthew: W-Well that was before we got to know him! Arthur: Yeah now it's more of an “UGHHH" Alfred: What? Arthur: I said what I said. Yao: Alright I'm checking my watch and it looks like it's time for our new segment: Who Said That? Alfred you're gonna read each of the statements on that card and match them to your friends or relatives or whatever they are to you. Alfred: Okay, when asked do you like Alfred's boyfriend the following answers were given: A. "If he's happy then I'm happy, if he likes him then I like him" B. "I don't think I've gotten to know how him well enough to say if I like him or not, though I was kinda turned off when he made that 9/11 joke at dinner." C. "I hate him." Arthur: I'll give you a clue I'm the one who hates him! Yao: That wasn't really a clue, you kinda just gave him the answer. Alfred: Why do you hate him?

Arthur: Because, you git! He's a psychopath who probably abuses people in his spare time! Francis, strained voice: Arthur, we're on television.. Arthur: I know! I HOPE YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, IVAN! Matthew: For the record I'll support you no matter what. You could do cocaine off a gas station toilet seat and I'd still be cheering you on. Alfred: Aw thanks Mattie! Yao: OKAY let's move on please, Alfred read the third question. Alfred: Okay, so which one of these do you think is my type: A. Introvert who is really polite and looks innocent when he's really not B. A try hard cutie who's stressed all the time but has a good heart C. Creepy psychos with murderous tendencies. Arthur: C. Matthew: C. Francis: C. Alfred: Seriously!? Francis: Sweetheart I'm sorry but all the people you date are either batsh*t feral or eerily calm, and either way they're ALWAYS in the mood to kill someone. Arthur: Even your anime kins are psychotic. Like come on, who even likes Toga Himiko? Matthew: Yeah I have to agree. Natalya wasn’t good candidate. Arthur: Natalya literally tried to KILL you, Alfred. Alfred: I don't know why you guys are so quick to judge, you don't know him like I do! He's actually a very sweet guy! Francis: I hate to keep bringing this up but he did say that 9/11 joke. Alfred: THAT WAS ONE TIME. Francis: I would argue that's still too many. Arthur: You know he's just gonna hurt you in the end! Yao: Uhhh I think it's time for the next questi- Arthur: AND I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE! Francis: Arthur this is a family friendly program! Matthew: I think what Arthur's trying to say is- Arthur: You're making bad choices. You date questionable people, you don't even use protection! Francis: Ooooh. Matthew: Um we're on live tv in case you all forgo- Alfred: Who are you, my dad!? Arthur: You know what? I hope you get STD, so it will teach you a lesson! Yao: ANDDDD WE'RE BREAKING TO COMMERCIAL AND NEVER COMING BACK.