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Ascended Astarion - Blog Posts

6 months ago
Making A Series Of Prints For A Con In December, Starting With Astarion!
Making A Series Of Prints For A Con In December, Starting With Astarion!

Making a series of prints for a con in December, starting with Astarion!


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1 year ago
“My Blood Thirsty Friend.”

“My blood thirsty friend.”

🔥 commission by poof on twitter 🔥


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1 year ago

Hello I love your bg3 content and your Dorian is so lovely! Can we get like an alternative reality with Dorian and Ascended Astarion? What would your headcannon be for them? 🙇

Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With
Hello I Love Your Bg3 Content And Your Dorian Is So Lovely! Can We Get Like An Alternative Reality With

something like this, probably


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3 weeks ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 14

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 900 (chapter 14 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, Astarion wants to take her out so she gets a nice dress, Astarion sees her in the dress and is incredibly horny and in love with her, like whoa, down boy

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Marin returned from the shops with Evi and Reardon, all with their arms partially full. They'd gotten food from the market, as well as a few other things.

“Astar-” she called out, stopping when she saw Astarion’s head poke out of the sitting room immediately. She blushed and let out a laugh. “Oh, hello there. I thought you’d be upstairs.”

“I was excited to see you,” he replied sheepishly. “Did you get something to wear tonight, my sweet?”

“Yes,” she giggled. “It feels a bit fanciful compared to my other dresses, but Evi assured me it looked nice. I hope I won't look silly.”

“I’m sure you chose perfectly,” he replied, grinning eagerly. “Go on, then! Get upstairs and show me. I can lace it for you.”

She obliged, carrying the dress box upstairs to Astarion's bedroom. Our bedroom? He shut the door behind them.

“Now, off with those clothes,” he purred. “I want to see your new purchase.”

“Well, turn around then,” she responded, blushing. “I want you to be surprised.”

He turned so his back would face the mirror while she changed. She pulled it from the box, feeling the finely-woven cotton and remembering how much she loved it. She slipped into it, tugging at the lacing slightly to make it fit her chest. It was a light turquoise dress, delicate and high quality with a few flourishes, but more simple than most of the gowns she saw in the shop. Though they were enviable, she wasn’t quite ready to dress so fancifully, and certainly not on Astarion’s dime. Perhaps for a party someday.

“All right, turn around.”

He spun to see her again, looking at her in the mirror and from behind. His face was soft, eyes wide, his mouth slightly open as he looked at her. That same face from the moment he first saw me again, in the bar. She could feel her heartbeat race as he stood in silence, staring at her body.

“Well then?” she pried, slightly impatient. “Will you give me a hint? I’m a bit nervous.”

“I’m sorry, my dear,” he finally responded, a funny smile spreading across his face. He walked up behind her to meet her eyes in the mirror. “You took my breath away. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Marin. You’re incredible.”

“What about the dress?” she teased, embarrassed by his intensity. “You can be a little hard to read, you know.”

“The dress is perfect for you,” he declared. “The color matches your eyes, and your hair contrasts against it without clashing. Delicate and sweet, but simple, like you. It shows off your pretty shoulders and collarbones; it hugs your frame exactly right. You look perfect, darling. The loveliest creature I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”

She watched in the mirror as her face went bright pink from his compliments. She was incredibly flattered, but also surprised by how much he picked up on. I forgot how fashionable he is. Does he always take me in with this much detail? Gods above. I hope not.

“Th-thank you,” she managed, butterflies in her stomach. “You promise that I don’t look silly?”

“Darling, it looks so perfect that it feels like a shame to lace it up and go anywhere,” he chuckled. “If I hadn’t promised you a real date tonight, I would keep you in this room, in that dress, and…”

He took a deep breath, shuddering as he let it out. He pressed up behind her, his hands on her hips, his interest poking at her tailbone. His cock was completely hard already, without a moment of attention from her.

“Holy hells,” she whispered. “Really?”

“It’s certainly not a lie, darling,” he responded breathlessly, making her giggle.

“So…” she went on flirtatiously. “Are we still going out?”

“We are, my sweet,” he declared. “I want to take you on a proper date, like I never could in the past. You deserve it. And to be honest… I would like to show you off a little.”

She blushed even more at the prospect of being seen out with Astarion, Lord Astarion, by people who knew who he was.

“But I want you to know,” he whispered in her ear, “that I will most likely be hopelessly aroused by my beautiful date the entire time. Perhaps you’ll take pity on me and… we can keep our outing slightly brief this time.”

He smirked at her in the mirror, his hands on her waist where the dress cinched in close. She turned around and kissed him, swooning and growing excited herself. He pulled away from her at last, seemingly with great effort, taking another deep breath to steady himself.

“Bleeding hells, Marin,” he murmured. “My head is light. I should get dressed. Something with long shirttails in the front…”

She giggled at his honesty.

“What about me?” she protested as he started to wander away.

“Hm? What about-”

“My lacing!” she laughed. “You said you’d help me!”

“Oh! Shit.” He came back and took the laces in his hands. “I did say that. I’m sorry for behaving like such a fool. You have a way of unraveling me, I told you.”

He pulled each section of the ribbon until it was perfectly taut against her skin without causing discomfort. His nimble fingers moved quickly, but with precision, brushing across her upper back as he worked. She desperately wanted those hands all over her body, without delay. Holy hells. This will be the longest dinner of all time.


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3 weeks ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 13

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 600 (chapter 13 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, Astarion's PTSD is really bad after last chapter, Marin comforts him, they talk about the ritual and other stuff from the past

Warnings: PTSD symptoms and mentions of ab*se (Astarion's past) and violence

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Astarion laid his head back on the edge of the tub, letting the warm water calm his senses and quiet his mind. The water was a pale, transparent pink from the dissolving blood. He stared blankly at the tiled wall where it met the ceiling.

“May I come in?” Marin’s muffled voice asked from the other side of the door.

He nodded faintly, before remembering she couldn’t see him. “Yes,” he mumbled, his voice low.

He flicked his eyes to her form as she entered the room, wearing one of Astarion’s robes, shutting the door behind her. Her hair was wet from the bath. She perched on the edge of the tub, watching him.

“My silver star,” she fawned, trying to soothe him. “I’m so glad you’re not injured.”

He stared straight ahead, numb.

“I attacked him. He was unarmed.”

“But so much can go wrong in a fight,” she responded. “We both know that. And I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Am I?” he muttered, almost to himself. “I feel so very… hollow.”

“Please, Astarion,” she whined. “Come back to me, my love.”

He turned his head, taking in her gentle face, full of sympathy and concern. For me. Those oceanic eyes. Marin.

“I’m a killer,” he said flatly, reciting from memory. “A monster.”

Her eyebrows furrowed hearing that.

“That’s not how I see you,” she responded, her voice soft. “No matter what was done to you, or what you were made to do.”

“I was enjoying his pain, Marin,” he muttered. “Of my own volition. Just like I enjoyed Cazador’s. I’m a terrible, evil man. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“But you feel my pain, don’t you?” she countered. “You’d do everything under the sun to make it better. You’ve said so a thousand times.”

He nodded, meeting her eyes.

“Then you’re not a monster,” she went on. “You’re not him, Astarion. Cazador was a monster. He deserved to die, and it was the only way out. I will never blame you for killing him, my love.”

“But all those other people… They’re dead because of me. Suffering in Avernus, instead of me.”

“And Cazador would never have felt guilty, if he’d gone through with the ritual,” she replied. “He would have killed them all, extinguished my precious star, and never worried about it for as long as he lived. You’re not him.”

He submerged his head, thinking as he worked the dried blood off of his face and hair. He re-emerged to her still staring at him with concern.

“You missed some,” she remarked, reaching for a cloth. “Here.”

She wetted the cloth and rubbed his sensitive elf ear; behind his earlobe, and inside the conch, close to the opening. He relaxed his eyelids and subconsciously tipped his head towards the side she was touching. His inner ear felt pleasantly fuzzy with the stimulation. He regained his senses as she moved her hand away.

“Why are you so kind to me, Marin?”

“You’ve been kind to me,” she responded without hesitation. “And besides, you deserve it, even if you don’t believe you do.”

He stared quietly up into her blue-green eyes, feeling like she was sucking the poison out and replenishing him, as she often had, years ago. She gave him a gentle smile, holding his gaze.

“I think I’m clean enough,” he muttered finally. “I want to rest.”

“Me too,” she admitted. “I’m exhausted.”

He put his hand on hers as she turned to get up from the edge of the tub.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For caring.”

“Always, my love.”


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3 weeks ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 12

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1.4k (chapter 12 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, Marin's ab*sive ex shows up looking for her, Astarion does a "muahaha" and literally tortures him oops (sorry I know I was meant to be watching him dammit), Asti has some PTSD stuff and Marin comforts him

Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, PTSD symptoms (Astarion), brief mentions of emotional ab*use

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?

3 Days Later

“Lord Astarion,” came Reardon’s voice from the other side of the heavy door. “It’s urgent. Someone’s at the gate.”

Astarion’s heart started to pound at once. The moment I’ve been waiting for. He tossed his book aside, grabbed his dagger and threw a robe over his nightclothes, tying it closed in a hurry. Marin stirred from sleep.

“What’s going on?” she mumbled, confused.

“Stay here, my love,” he whispered, harsher than intended. “You’re safe here. I’ll be back.”

Astarion closed the door behind him and took a deep breath, slowing his movements and putting on an air of confidence. He made his way down the stairs, meeting Reardon at the bottom.

“I’m sorry to disturb your rest, m’lord. I think it’s him.”

“Quite alright,” he muttered. “Send Evi to my room to keep Marin calm. Stay on the landing with them.”

“Of course,” Reardon replied. “The sentries have him under control. No weapons on him. He’s right outside.”

He could feel his heart pounding, but forced himself to remain calm. He opened the front door wide, as if he were greeting a guest.

“You’ve finally arrived,” he snarled. “I’m surprised it took you three days to find me. Tsk, tsk. Perhaps you’re even slower than I reckoned.”

Del was being held between two guards, his eyes wild at the sight of Astarion.

“Please, gentlemen; bring our guest inside for me, will you?” He turned on his heel and strode in before them.

The guards dragged him in, putting him on his knees on the tiled floor, still holding either arm. Astarion brandished his dagger, the precious Rhapsody, with a flourish. He pricked the tip of his own finger, just enough to draw a drop of blood, as Del watched in confusion. He brought the finger to his mouth, licking the fresh blood.

“Mm, delicious,” he mused, turning his eyes towards Del, grinning to be sure his fangs showed. “Now, I don’t think you wish to challenge me, hm? That would be… so very dangerous.”

Del shook his head, apparently realizing his position.

“Thank you for your excellent service,” he said coolly to the guards. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak with him. Alone.”

The two armed fighters looked at each other, then to Astarion, before releasing their grip on the captive.

“We’ll be right outside, my lord,” one replied as they took their leave.

“Now that it’s just the two of us,” he growled down at Del, on his knees a few feet away. “I’d like to share what’s on my mind.”

“Marin wouldn’t come here to be with a little dandy like you,” Del shouted. “And a fucking vampire. You must have taken her, you monster!”

“I’m not sure you know who exactly you’re speaking to, darling,” he drawled, his voice calm. He bared his fangs again, summoning a black mist around him, feeding off the fear in the man’s eyes. Some theatrics before I crush you.

“Now, Delaney,” he hissed, every syllable sharp. He twirled Rhapsody with ease as he spoke. “I’d like to tell you how I came to control this place. I killed the vampire lord who owned it before me, by sacrificing him to a devil. I carved his flesh with this very weapon, in fact. And through that ritual, I was imbued with more power than any vampire in Faerun has ever known. More power than your tiny mind can comprehend. Now, since you’re already on your knees, perhaps I’ll allow you to beg for your life to be spared, like he did.”

Del watched him, eyes wide, seemingly trying to discern if he was serious.

“Go on!” Astarion shrieked suddenly, his voice ricocheting in the enormous hall. “Beg!”

“Please, don’t kill me, I’m- I’m sorry for trespassing-”

“Ha! You think that’s what this is about?” he snarled. “You really are slow, aren’t you? I want you to apologize for hurting my lovely Marin. Perhaps, if I like what I hear, I’ll pass your message along.”

“I love her-”

“I don’t want to hear such nonsense,” he growled, cutting Del off by gripping his jaw, hard enough to inflict pain. “I told you to apologize.”

“I’m s- I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did, please don’t-”

“Pathetic,” he sniped, cutting him off again. “You know exactly what you did. You hurt her, and now, I’m going to hurt you.”

Astarion moved swiftly and noiselessly, taking one of Del’s wrists in his hand, slashing at his arm with the dagger. He writhed and screamed, trying to pull away from his powerful grip. Astarion yanked his bloodied forearm to his mouth and drank from the wound. He pushed Del onto the marble, placing his heel on the man’s stomach and kneeling down.

Astarion drew the knife across his chest slowly, over and over, slicing through his clothes and letting out a wicked, manic laugh. He kept him pinned with his foot as he worked, bathing in his screams of agony.

“Astarion, no!” Marin’s echoing voice stopped him in his tracks. He pressed the dagger to Del’s throat before turning his head to look at her. At the top of the stairs, his servants were holding her back, trying to keep her from running into danger. Gods damn it. They were supposed to keep her upstairs; to keep her from seeing this.

“Please, Astarion, stop!” she cried, desperate. “Don’t kill him, please!”

He looked back down to the disgusting creature writhing and bleeding beneath his foot. I wanted to kill the bastard slowly. But she’s seen enough death for seven lifetimes. Especially after what I did. I can’t make her watch this. With great struggle, Astarion wrested control from the bloodthirsty monster inside him, longing to slit the man’s throat and bathe in his blood.

“This is her mercy, not mine,” he growled slowly, keeping his dagger still against Del’s neck as he knelt to lean close to his face. “I would have enjoyed killing you, slowly and painfully. If you ever return, I will end your life without hesitation. Hm?”

Del nodded, his eyes huge and terrified.

“I’ll be watching you,” he snarled, down to a whisper. “For the rest of your wretched life. You will never again take advantage of her kind heart or trouble her mind.”

“Let him go,” Astarion yelled to the guards outside in advance. He relaxed the blade, standing and taking the pressure off of his chest. Del immediately scrambled to his hands and knees and out the front door, running for his life. He stood and watched, motionless, before letting the bloodied Rhapsody fall from his hand. The heavy dagger clattered to the ground and broke the deafening silence left behind.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” he called out, not turning to look at her, still frozen in place. “I’m sorry that you saw. You don’t need to be afraid.”

He heard quick footsteps down the stairs, and turned to see Marin running towards him, slipping in her bare feet across the smooth floor. He absorbed her force as she crashed into him. He buried his head in her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Marin,” he whispered, feeling manic. “I’m sorry. I wanted to make him pay for what he did, to make him suffer-”

“Cazador is dead, Astarion,” she insisted. His whole body stiffened upon hearing his tormentor’s name, his stomach churning. “You don’t need to be afraid anymore. You don’t need to kill him ever again.”

“What in the hells-”

“You were the same way at the ritual,” she whimpered. “You were so scared then, and you did a terrible thing because of it. I couldn’t watch it happen again.”

“I’m not scared of Del,” he snapped, his tone harsher than he ever used with her. “I wanted to taste his fear. I was going to torture him to death. I only stopped because I… I know you’ve seen enough.”

“You were afraid of losing me. Afraid he could hurt me. But you don’t need to kill him to keep me safe, Astarion.”

Hearing those words, he felt a wave of sorrow rising inside him. All his defenses fell. He burst into tears, sobbing mournfully into her shoulder. Her long hair stuck to his cheeks.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” he lamented. “I don’t know why it hurts.”

“It’s all right, love,” she whispered, holding him tight. “It’s all right to hurt.”


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3 weeks ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 11

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1k (chapter 11 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, Astarion & Marin arrive home, he's worried about her, Marin talks to housekeeper about Astarion and hears how he was when they broke up, they have a date at home together

Warnings: brief talk of leaving an ab*sive relationship; conversation about sex work (housekeeper's and allusions to Astarion's)

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

“Marin, my sweet,” came Astarion’s gentle voice from above. She felt his thin, chilled fingers against her cheek. “We’re home.”

She opened her eyes to see him smiling down at her on his lap. The golden sunshine of the early evening lit his eyes from the side, making them glow red-orange.

“Let’s go inside, hm?” he prompted.

She nodded, fighting through her drowsiness as he helped her sit up against his shoulder. Her belongings were gone.

“What about my things?” she asked, blinking away sleep.

“Reardon carried them in for us, darling,” he assured her. “I didn't want to disturb you, so I let you stay on my lap for a little while longer. You looked so peaceful.”

“Oh,” she mumbled. “You're sweet.”

“I'm so very glad to have you here, my love,” he whispered, kissing her forehead before rising to help her out of the carriage.

“Perhaps we'll eat on the terrace,” he remarked, offering his arm to walk with him. “The sunshine is lovely this evening.”

The front door was left open for them. Astarion led her down the hall towards a savory smell.

“Good evening,” he greeted Evi as they entered the kitchen.

“Welcome home, my lord! And you've brought Lady Marin.” Evi smiled kindly at her.

“Yes,” he replied, admiring Marin. “Would you mind keeping her company? I'll only be a few minutes.”

“Of course,” Evi responded graciously as Astarion left the room. “You look like you've had a long day, dear. Why don't you make yourself comfortable?”

She obliged, sinking into a kitchen chair. Evi turned her back to cut some bread on the counter. He doesn’t want to leave me alone after today.

“It’s so fortunate to have you here,” she continued. “If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, please tell me, my lady.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Evi responded. “I've seen how nasty men can be in my old profession. I'm glad you're safe, here, with us.”

Marin felt a blush spreading across her face. How much did Astarion tell her?

“Working here has been more pleasant,” she went on. “Lord Astarion has been very kind to me. He’s a respectful man.”

“What was he like?” she asked, trying to hide her interest, despite her warm face.

“Back then? Well, I shouldn't say too much,” she replied, lowering her voice before continuing. “He was never my client; don’t worry, dear. He was an occasional guest that the men and women fought over, since he was rich, and charming. He used to stay for a drink and talk with us, as if he wanted the company more than anything else we offered. That’s how I learned he was looking for a housekeeper, and I was tired of my trade after so many years. He was such a gloomy man back then, haunted by something. Despite his best efforts to cover for it.”

“That was… after we broke up,” she managed, her throat tight.

“Was it, dear?” Evi turned to face her again, looking shocked. “I could tell you were special to him right away. He isn't normally so accommodating. No one stayed overnight here in the past, even his dates. I’ve not seen him so excited about anyone. But he never told me you were the one from all that time ago.”

“He told you about our relationship?” she choked out.

“Never a word about it, and I never wanted to ask,” she replied, keeping her voice low. “He’s a private person, of course. But I know a broken heart when I see one. Reading people was part of my work, you know?”

Marin nodded, her face burning.

“He likes to keep some distance from his staff, so I shouldn’t intrude,” Evi went on quietly, turning back to the counter. “I know he’s got a soft heart under all that pride, though. Not a lot of noblemen are kind to brothel girls. Or servants, for that matter.”

“Thank you for telling me, Evi,” Marin responded earnestly.

“Of course, my lady.”

They heard a door open, and Astarion’s quiet footsteps approaching the kitchen. He popped in with a flourish.

“The terrace, my lady?” he purred, offering Marin his hand. She giggled and took it. “Evi, would you mind bringing it out?”

Without another word, he swept Marin out of the kitchen and down the hall. They stepped outdoors onto a brick patio surrounded by planters. On a table, there were three glasses: two with wine, and one with little flowers he’d picked.

“Is this where you went?” she asked, a smile spreading across her face.

“Yes,” he responded with a chuckle. “I thought it would be sweet. Perhaps it’s silly.”

“It's not silly,” Marin assured him. “I love it.”

Astarion tried to suppress his own smile as he led her to the table and took a seat across from her. Evi appeared with food and silverware for them before excusing herself. It was soup with a variety of vegetables, and some fresh bread. Marin started to eat right away, realizing how hungry she was.

“I know today was… difficult,” Astarion said carefully. “I want you to know that I don’t have any expectations, all right? You don’t even have to sleep in my bed, if you don’t want to. There are plenty of spare rooms. I don’t want you to feel rushed, or guilty. Not with me.”

“I feel… numb,” Marin admitted. “I’m unsure how to feel. But not about you, Astarion.”

His eyebrows went up with surprise, his eyes remaining soft.

“I just want you to feel safe,” he pressed. “Like you did for me, back then. I can’t repay the debt I owe to you, but… I need to try.”

“I do feel safe here,” she replied honestly. “I always feel safe with you.”


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 10

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 700 (chapter 10 of 17)

Setting: Marin's house

Content: Marin's POV, Marin & Asti go to Marin's house for her things, she gets emotional about leaving her old home, she leaves a break-up note for her husband, they're both anxious, Asti comforts her

Warnings: brief talk of leaving an ab*sive relationship

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Marin laid her head on Astarion’s lap in the carriage, unable to relax, despite the comfortable seat and his hand in her hair. They had been laughing and kissing for the first part of the ride, but both had grown increasingly quiet as they approached their destination: her home.

“I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing you to do this, darling,” Astarion insisted quietly. “I’m here to help, and that’s all.”

“You aren’t forcing me,” she replied blankly.

“Are you sure? You feel so far away from me, my love,” he responded. She looked up at him from his lap, her face empty.

“I don’t know how to feel. I’m numb. But I know it’s the right thing.”

His eyes were a pale red in the midday sun; his brow furrowed with concern. 

“This has to come from you,” he insisted. “If you change your mind, you don’t have to go through with it, all right?” She nodded.

“Nearly there, m’lord,” called the driver, Reardon, from the front of the carriage. Marin sat up, looking out the window again, her heart racing.

“It’ll be all right, my love,” Astarion whispered, likely listening to her heartbeat.

They pulled up at the edge of the street. The house looked exactly how she'd left it the night before, thankfully. He hasn't been home yet.

“Did you want me to go in with you?” Astarion asked gently. “If it makes you feel better, I can. But I don't want you to feel pressured just because this is what I want.”

“I want you to,” she mumbled. “I don't know if I'm strong enough.”

“Of course.”

Astarion exited the carriage, standing below and offering a steadying hand up to her. She took it and stepped down herself. My garden, she thought. I won't get to see it anymore. She teared up at the thought.

“What's the matter?”

“My garden,” she admitted. “I'll miss it here, in some ways. It's home.”

“I understand, my sweet,” he replied, sympathetic. “You can plant whatever you’d like again, hm?” She nodded.

He placed his hand gently on her lower back and followed her inside the house. She searched quickly for her things - her clothes, her hairbrush, her favorite books, her old sentimental items. Her favorite blanket, and her old apron, and her gardening tools and seeds. Astarion’s letter from its hiding place. She was leaving all the furniture, food, and anything else she shared with Del behind. Before leaving, she scrawled a short note on a piece of paper, leaving it on the kitchen table:

Delaney, I’m leaving. I’m sorry it had to come to this. We can deal with the paperwork in the future, after things have settled. If you care for me, please allow me space to live my own life. -Marin

Astarion and Reardon helped her take her things to the carriage. Seeing all her belongings collected in bundles reminded her of their adventuring days, when everything they owned came along with them. Is my life here really that small? She would miss the plants, and the little birds who visited the front garden in the morning.

“We should get on the road as soon as possible,” Astarion told her, gently as he could. “I don’t want to run into him if we can help it.”

She looked back at her home before accepting his help into the carriage. Her little life. The love she thought she shared with Del, once. Did he truly care for me, even back then? Perhaps it had all been doomed from the very start.

As they pulled away, Marin could feel her stomach churning. She whimpered with anxiety.

“My sweet, what can I do to help?” Astarion asked, uneasy.

“It hurts so much,” she cried. “I can’t bear to look.”

“Rest on my lap again, darling,” he reassured her, guiding her down to his thighs. He pulled the blanket from her things and laid it across her shoulders. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”

She felt her discomfort easing slightly as he petted her hair, with her favorite blanket covering her. She realized how very tired she was, having spent the night tossing and turning, and the morning worrying. She looked up at Astarion’s gentle face, watching her with concern. Finally, her eyelids started to feel too heavy to keep them open any longer.


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 9

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1.3k (chapter 9 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, pillow talk/post-bath chill time, Astarion worries about the future, talk about their past relationship and break-up, Marin worries about the future, mutual care and comfort

Warnings: brief mentions of death, the ascension ritual, Cazador being a POS

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Marin sat with her back against Astarion’s chest, his legs accommodating her. They were settled on a couch at the far end of his room, the curtains open wide beside them, late at night. He was absent-mindedly combing her damp hair with his fingers.

“I like that,” she murmured.

“Hm?” Astarion perked up at her voice. “I’m sorry, I was leagues away.”

“You touching my hair; it’s comforting,” she explained.

“Ah, yes. Well, you have lovely hair,” he replied, still distant.

Marin turned her head back to see him looking absently out the window at the night sky. “What’s on your mind, Astarion?”

“Stars are pretty tonight,” he responded, not turning to look at her.

“Now, don’t push me out,” she scolded. “You’re acting strangely. If you won’t tell me why, I’ll have to assume it’s about me.”

“My dear, it’s not you.” He paused before clarifying his statement. “I suppose it’s related to you. But it’s not your fault.”

“What’s with the cryptic language?” she challenged him, watching for any sign of reaction. He is so damned stoic when he doesn’t want to share.

“I don’t want anything to change,” he admitted, still avoiding her eyes. “It feels like being suspended in a perfect dream, and I’m terrified to wake up.”

Marin’s stomach dropped. “What do you want, then?”

“In my heart, I want to whisk you away from him, to make you mine forever, and spend the rest of my days with you,” he responded earnestly. “But I’m so afraid. I don’t think I could bear to lose you ever again. It took all my willpower to keep from destroying myself the last time.”

“Why are you convinced you’ll lose me?”

“I’m afraid I’m not what you need, dear. Afraid that I couldn’t be, no matter how badly I wanted to,” he explained, his voice starting to shake. “You’re the only one I’ve ever loved, Marin. Perhaps I cared for someone before I died, but… I can't remember.”

Tears started slipping down his face.

“That’s all right, Astarion,” she responded, her voice soft. “I don’t care who you were with before me. It was never important.”

“You were so kind to me, and I fell in love with you, but I didn’t know a damned thing about how to do that,” he lamented, his voice nearly a whisper. “I had to learn everything with you. And after you left, I- there was nobody else like you, and I didn’t want to try. So I never learned how to love anyone.”

She turned around and folded her legs, sitting upright in front of him. He was staring out the window as if he were a thousand miles away.

“You know how to love me, right?” she asked, reaching out to touch his cheek. “You did back then.”

“I don’t know what kind of a partner I’d be, my love,” Astarion confessed, his dark crimson eyes finally looking at her. “The months we spent together were in our honeymoon phase. I know how to sweep you off your feet, and make you laugh, and how to fuck you. But I don’t know how to… do the next part.”

“We went through hell together. I’d hardly call it a honeymoon,” she remarked.

“You know what I mean, darling.”

“I’m serious,” she went on. “We had parasites in our brains, and we made sense of that together. We came to terms with it and changed our fate. You were scared of… him, but I helped you find your strength. You had to fight through so much pain and fear to be close with me. We were a team.”

“And then, I lost you,” he recounted. “I was selfish, and I treated our relationship like a foregone conclusion. I was so afraid of the future if you didn’t agree to eternity with me. I took you for granted and I lost you.”

“But you grew,” she emphasized. “I know you did, because when you first ascended, you would never have admitted what a selfish prick you were. Even after the fact.”

“I don’t know why you helped me with that ritual,” he lamented. “You're such a kind and peaceful person, and I roped you into something indescribably awful.”

“I was terrified,” she confessed. “I thought you might die. At the time, helping you ascend seemed like the only way to save you. I didn't want that debt to transfer to you, for depriving Mephistopheles of all the souls he’d been promised. I was too afraid to lose you, and I acted selfishly.”

“Your selfishness is much less wretched than mine, darling,” he assured her with a sad chuckle. “I wanted it for my own gain. But… I was terrified, too. More than I knew how to express.”

“I know,” she whispered. She put her arms and legs around him and hugged him with her whole body. He rested his chin on her shoulder. “I forgive you, Astarion.”

They sat, quietly holding each other for a long time.

“Marin, I'm afraid you still care for him,” he whispered. “And that you haven't left because you don't truly want to be with me.”

“I do want to be with you, Astarion,” she insisted. “And of course I care for him. But even when he was kind to me, I never loved him the way I loved you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but I thought I could never make it work with you,” she admitted. “Things were so emotional at the end, and everyone was ready to go their separate ways, and… I was afraid to be left behind in Baldur’s Gate, with nothing but my memories haunting me. Del said all the right things. He felt like the safe choice, and he wanted so badly to marry me. I thought maybe it would be romantic to elope with him, and it might… take away the hurt if I made a new life. Obviously he didn't start acting like this until later.”

Astarion stayed quiet, just holding onto her.

“I’m sorry that I chased you away,” he spoke up, finally. “I feel like I made your life worse in so many ways, and all you tried to do was help. I don’t-”

“My life was full of love when we were together, Astarion. I don’t regret our relationship.”

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, his face sad.

“Why don’t you leave him?” he asked earnestly. “You wouldn’t have to worry about a soft place to land. I want you here, by my side.” She could feel her face burning. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“I'm having an affair,” she lamented. “Do you have any idea how much guilt I feel? I- I hate myself.”

“You have no reason to hate yourself,” Astarion responded, trying to comfort her. “I know you well enough, Marin. You would never have done this if you weren’t at your wits’ end with him. He set all of this in motion by treating you this way.”

“And I should have fixed it instead of making it worse!” she wailed, harsher than she meant to.

“Why do you need to fix it?” Astarion asked. “Why do you assume everything bad that happens is your fault, my dear?”

I don’t know. She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“I’m afraid,” she blurted out.

“Of what, darling?”

“Of leaving him,” she sobbed. “Of the future. Of everything.”

“Perhaps you need some rest, my sweet,” he said gently. She nodded, tears streaking her red cheeks. Astarion gathered her up in his arms, holding her close to his chest and standing to cross the room. He laid her on his bed, pulling the blanket up before getting in next to her.

“We can be brave together,” he whispered in her ear. “Starting tomorrow.”


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 8

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 2.3k (chapter 8 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, forbidden relationship, Marin shows up unannounced, masturbation talk/demonstration, teasing, dirty talk, fingering, PIV sex, doggy style/hittin' it from the back, Astarion's bitey urges make them switch, riding, multiple orgasms, Astarion bites his own arm to stop himself, they talk a little about their past

Warnings: vampire bite described in some detail

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

We do it in the dark / With smiles on our faces / We're trapped and well concealed / In secret places

A couple weeks later

“Lord Astarion, you have a visitor at the door,” Evi announced formally, poking her head into the sitting room.

Astarion scowled, looking up from his book over the rim of his reading glasses. “I'm not expecting anyone. Who the hells is it?”

“Marin,” she snickered.

“What in the- Gods damn you, Evi!” Astarion snarled, nearly dropping his book as he jumped to his feet. “That's not funny!”

Marin appeared behind her at the entryway. Evi left with a smirk on her face.

“She thinks she’s terribly clever, baiting me like that. She's meant to be my employee,” Astarion grumbled, before softening up. “My sweet, what are you doing here?”

“Del went out of town for the night, so I hurried through all my chores and caught a carriage straight here,” Marin muttered excitedly, putting her arms around his waist. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you terribly, my dear,” he whispered, one hand in her hair. “It's been too long.”

“It's been sixteen days,” she giggled. “I counted.”

He pulled back from her hug a little, his hands on her shoulders. “My schedule is cleared. What shall we do?”

She kissed him, pulling him by the front of his shirt. Oh, Gods. He felt himself growing stiff right away and pulled back.

“My bedroom, then,” he purred, trying to keep control of himself.

“Yes, please,” she giggled again, her cheeks pink.

He swept her off her feet, surprising her, picking her up under the knees to carry her. She let out a tiny shriek and burst into laughter. He strode quickly out of the sitting room and crossed the main floor to the staircase.

“Are you my fairytale prince?” she asked playfully.

“Darling, you wound me!” he joked as he carried her up the stairs, his voice high and overly dramatic. “Here I thought I was the vampire lord from your dirtiest novel.”

Marin turned bright red and laughed too loud. He finally set her down in his bedroom, breathless from the action.

“Hells, I forgot how much work that would be,” he chuckled. “Perhaps I'm all out of stamina now.”

Instead of responding with a joke, Marin pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Gods above. He could feel himself growing rapidly harder with her hands moving hungrily across his body.

“I missed you so, so much,” she pouted.

“Really? Let me see…” Astarion reached down under her mid-length skirt, snaking up her thigh. She jumped at his cold touch, but didn't pull away. He felt between her legs. Oh… Gods. She was soaked all the way through, to the point his fingers came away wet from even the outside of her underclothes. His cock went hopelessly hard.

“Oh, Marin,” he whispered.

“I want you so badly,” she whined, feeling clumsily for the outline of him through his pants. “I haven't had much privacy since I saw you. I'm desperate.”

He felt his cheeks and ears grow warm. “I wish I could say the same for the cause of my own desperation. It's a little embarrassing, with how much you've been on my mind, and I'm here alone…” he trailed off, feeling his cock pulse against her hand, giving him away. Marin looked up at him, bright pink.

“Really?” she whispered, a big smile on her face. “And how does that look?”

“A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, darling,” Astarion joked, grimacing with embarrassment.

“Well, it's a good thing you aren't a gentleman, then,” she teased, smirking flirtatiously. “Because I want to know about the fun you had without me.”

“Gods, you don't really, do you?” he replied, searching her eyes for signs of a joke.

“I'll let you touch me if you show me how you touch yourself,” she giggled. His head swirled at the thought of touching her again.

“Deal,” he whispered. “Now, off with your clothes and under the covers with you.”

Both of them quickly got down to their underclothes and slipped under the blankets.

“I wait until I know I'm alone and sure to be undisturbed,” he whispered. “And then I, uh…” He mimed a jerking motion.

“No fair! You're not getting off that easy,” Marin teased. They both snickered at the double entendre. “You have to show me or you're not getting any prizes, you swindler.”

Astarion closed his eyes and groaned, his stomach muscles tense. “All right, I'll show you, but you owe me. You'd better hold up your end of the deal.”

Marin nodded eagerly. He pulled his cock out, sliding his underclothes off, and rolled onto his side, facing the edge of the bed. He opened a drawer on his side table, pulling out a bottle of oil and getting some into his hand. Her big eyes watched his every move.

He rolled back towards her and put his oiled hand down under the covers. She tented them with her hand so she could watch him. He worked the oil down the length of himself and groaned a little. He jerked himself for a few seconds and then stopped, looking expectantly into her eyes, his cock still in his hand.

“You can touch me, but don't stop touching yourself,” she whispered. He groaned but turned onto his back to free up his pinned arm. She wiggled out of her own undergarments and positioned herself within his reach.

“And what do you do then?” she asked, gasping as he put his hand on her cunt. “If I'm not here.”

“I think of you. Of this,” he whispered, pushing his fingers inside of her. She inhaled as he felt around, finding the right spot.

“What part of this?” She watched with interest as his hand moved smoothly up and down his cock.

“Every part. The way you kiss me, the way you grab at me, the way you pull my clothes off…” She shifted herself up onto her knees, sinking all the way down onto his fingers with a tiny moan. He beckoned towards himself, looking up at her. “I think of how dripping wet you are for me, and the way you beg me to touch you.”

Instead of responding with more questions, Marin moaned and rolled her pelvis. She rubbed herself on his palm, looking down at him with lidded eyes.

“I think about the way you sound, darling,” he huffed, getting carried away watching her. He was trying to touch himself slowly for her sake, rather than desperately seeking a release like when he was truly alone.

“Yeah?” she moaned, her voice raising a bit higher. She pulled the blankets back to watch him stroking himself. She kept rubbing against his palm while he worked his fingers inside.

“And I think of how amazing it feels when you- touch me,” he muttered between his own moans. Marin's mouth fell open, her noises spilling out. “And when you have my cock- in your mouth.”

“Ohhh, Astarion,” she whined, rocking faster against his hand. Gods, she is so beautiful.

“And the perfect way you- the way you feel when I’m inside,” he groaned, slowing down further on himself. “How good you feel when you're all around me. Your beautiful face when you're mad with lust, and when you- hah- float away as you come…”

Marin cried out louder and fucked his hand harder. Her hip movements were spotty and stiff, and her eyes widened, focusing on his. She must be close. He took his hand off of himself and instead grabbed at her breast from his place below her.

“Ast- arion, I'm- going to come-” she whimpered in broken sounds.

“Yes, darling, please,” he purred. She cried out loudly, slamming her eyes shut.

“As- Asta-” she moaned, trying to make out his long name through her ecstasy. He felt her pulsing around his fingers. Thank the Gods. He could hardly bear the wait.

“You're so lovely, my dear,” he admired, keeping his fingers still as she came down from her high. “Do you want my cock?” She nodded, her eyes halfway open. He sat up and positioned himself behind her.

“Is this all right, my love?” he asked. She nodded again. He gently pushed her forward onto her elbows and knees. He looked down at her cunt as he prepared himself, lining up carefully. He felt his tension melt into bliss as she surrounded him.

“Oh, Gods, Marin,” he groaned with relief. “You are so slick, darling. You're perfect.”

He used one hand to pull her pelvis as close to his as he possibly could, eliciting a moan. He put the other on the bed to prop himself up above her. He curled down close to her body like they were animals, fucking her from behind, their sounds and bodies mingling. Her heartbeat was pounding in his ears, and he longed to bite her tender neck, to taste her again for the first time in forever. His vampiric pains were gone since his ascension, but he still felt the urge to bite. I can't, he thought. Not her. Not yet. I have to restrain myself.

“I wish I could taste you, my love,” he panted. “You smell… so lovely.”

She moaned as if the thought was invigorating for her. He felt his self-control starting to slip as he got more and more overwhelmed by the stimulation. Oh, shit. He stopped moving, making her whimper at the loss.

“I can't stay like this, Marin,” he whispered breathlessly in her ear. “I want to bite you so damned bad. Get on top of me and keep away from my mouth, all right?”

He used his remaining willpower to pull away from her and lay down. She clumsily positioned herself over him, lined up his cock, and sank down all the way to his hips. His eyes were fixed on her hands where they lay, flat on his chest.

“I'm sorry, my love,” he whimpered. “It's so hard to control myself right now. Your wrists.”

She pulled her hands away in a hurry, placing them behind her on his thighs, all of her extremities out of his fangs’ reach.

“Is this all right?” she whined, her voice high and desperate.

“You're perfect,” he huffed, putting his hands on her knees. “Fuck me just like this.”

She rocked against his pelvis and moaned loudly. He felt the pleasure in his belly building, pushing him closer to the edge.

“Are you close, my love?” he panted, holding back. She nodded, her eyes wide. He thrusted up into her, hard, bouncing her on his hips.

“Astarion!” she cried out, and he felt her pulse around his cock. He thrusted as deep as he could, desperately seeking his own relief.

Marin looked a little woozy as she came back down from her peak, and one of his thrusts sent her top half tumbling down towards him. She caught herself on his chest with her hands, her beautiful pale wrists landing in front of his face again, right as he reached the point of no return. Oh no, Marin, oh no, ohnonono-

“Shit- unh-” Astarion threw his own arm across his face and bit down, deep into his own bicep. He felt the tang of blood in his mouth, his arm burning with the strength of his hardest bite, and the pleasure in his core slipping out of his control. He cried into his upper arm, latched on tight, as he rolled his hips into her and came, hard. His muffled sounds were loud and visceral.

He unlatched his jaw, his arm falling away from his face and his chest heaving. What in the sweet hells was that? He usually had little trouble controlling his fangs, and the urge was rarely that strong to begin with. Not anymore.

“Astarion? Are you all right?”

He opened his eyes to Marin, sitting motionless on his lap, shining with sweat. The look in her eyes was almost afraid. Of me? Shit. I must have looked like a monster.

“Yes, I'm all right now,” he managed between breaths. She seemed to calm down, hearing his voice again. “I'm sorry if I frightened you, my love. I don't know what came over me. I was so afraid of leaving a mark on you, after what you said. And I never want to bite you as hard as I’m able to.”

“It’s all right,” she reassured him, climbing down from his lap. “I'm sorry for the trouble.”

“I'm the one with the urge to bite people, my dear,” he chuckled, trying to comfort her. “You’re no trouble at all.”

“I miss it too,” she muttered, almost to herself. Astarion stared at her in surprise.

“Oh, um,” she stumbled. “Being bitten, I mean. I liked it when you fed on me back then. You were always tipsy afterwards, and grateful, and… aroused, if you weren't already.”

“Yes, it's an… intimate act,” he managed, embarrassed at his past self. “I always assumed you were just going along with it, because of how badly I needed it back then, when I was so hungry.”

“Of course not,” she responded with a gentle smile, laying next to him in the crook of his unbitten arm. “And besides, it's like making a meal for someone. It's nice to feel needed.”

“I suppose so,” Astarion mused, staring up at the canopy. “I still do, you know. Need you. I’d forgotten how badly.”

“Me too,” Marin said quietly. He turned to look at her.

“I’m not quite sure why,” he admitted. “I don’t know what I can really provide for you, Marin. Besides money, I suppose.”

“You make me feel safe,” she whispered. “Like I could tell you anything. Like you can see the person inside, and you want me anyway.”

Astarion’s heart jumped into his throat. Gods, how I want you.


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 7

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 800 (chapter 7 of 17)

Setting: Marin's house

Content: Marin's POV, forbidden relationship, Marin's husband fucking sucks but on screen this time, Astarion sends a letter via his servant, they are so in love and miss each other an excessive amount

I went too far for the bit on these letters and made visuals but I included a text-only version below it for accessibility~

Warnings: descriptions of emotional ab*se & dialogue (I really tried to make this guy an emotionally ab*sive creep without being in-depth enough to bother people, difficult line to walk so I'm sorry if he seems either one-dimensional or is still upsetting)

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Marin loaded the bread dough into the oven, drying the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand as she stepped away.

“You smell like an ox,” Del chided as he entered the kitchen. Marin sighed to herself.

“I'm sorry. The oven is hot. Baking is hard work, you know.”

He snickered as if the very idea was foolish, making her cheeks burn.

“Speaking of hard work, I'm off,” he muttered as he finished fastening his buttons. “Behave yourself, a’right?”

She swallowed the urge to say something nasty. “Of course I will, Del.”

“Good,” he replied, kissing her on the cheek. She plastered a smile on her face and followed him to the door.

“Have a good night,” she called as he started down the path. He responded with a half-hearted thanks, not looking back.

“Fucking prick,” she whispered to herself once the door was shut. He seemed to have grown more irritating since her return, but maybe that was imagined. He was acting the same as always, while something inside her had changed.

She took off her apron and grabbed the cushion and gloves she used for her garden. She left the door open behind her so that she could smell the bread cooking, as a reminder to check on it.

She perched on the stones around her front garden, the cushion under her knees. Feeling the sun warm her hair from behind and smelling the soil, she felt the stress of dealing with Del melt away.

“My lady?” came a woman’s voice from behind her. My lady? Marin turned to see a cloaked figure walking up her garden path. She dropped her hood as she approached, revealing a familiar face.

“...Evi?”

“Good afternoon, my lady. I come bearing a parcel from Lord Ancunín,” she announced, speaking formally as if Marin had any social standing.

“A letter? Oh, um, thank you,” she stuttered. “You didn't run into anyone on your way up the path, did you?”

“I waited for his departure before I approached,” Evi reassured her. “Lord’s orders. He wants me to confirm that you're all right.”

Marin’s face burned thinking of Astarion’s concern for her. “I am, thank you.”

“Excellent. I have one more gift from his lordship.” Evi reached into her bag, pulling out a single orange, fragrant and perfectly ripe.

“Oh, thank you!” Marin took it from her, delighted with the surprise.

“Have a pleasant day, Lady Marin,” she said, pulling up her hood before walking down the path.

“You too,” she responded, feeling like she was in a dream. She floated inside, closing the front door and putting her back against the inside of it. She held the letter tightly to her chest, her heart pounding. She checked the oven before scurrying down the hall, letter and orange in hand. She didn't want to be caught reading it in plain view, on the tiny chance Del came home to get something. She locked the bedroom door behind her, sank into the bed, and opened the envelope, addressed only Marin. The letter was written on thick, expensive paper, with Astarion's careful calligraphy folded up inside.

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 7

Marin, my sweet,

I was heartened to see your letter this evening. I miss you terribly, darling. Your visit has served as a harsh reminder of my empty bed and lonely existence. Of course, I do not blame you for that. Our time together was far more valuable to me than any continued delusion of self-sufficiency. Your joyful presence feels like sunshine on my skin after so many years in the darkness, a bittersweet feeling with which I am intimately familiar.

We disagreed at the time of my ascension on your vampiric transformation. I recall the details of those arguments quite clearly when I am lonely and disappointed in myself. I want you to know that I will accept you in any form, my love. I am not the man I used to be, but I realize I will have to prove myself worthy of your trust.

I will happily make space for you in my life if you ever feel ready for a future with me. I want nothing else as much as I want to see you happy. There is a greenhouse here which is hardly used, and it makes me long to see you working on your garden to your heart's content.

You are welcome here anytime, my dear. I hope you know that I eagerly await our next meeting. Until then, I will think of you anytime my mind wanders, as I do already.

Stay safe, darling.

Yours eternally,

Astarion

Your comment about beetroot juice made me smile. You enjoyed the fresh oranges when you were here, so I hope you will smile for me in return.

Marin flopped back on the bed, the letter pressed to her heart as if it were part of him. She stared blankly up at the rafters, tears running down her face and into her hair.


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 6

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 300 (chapter 6 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, forbidden relationship, Astarion needs help from his servant to get a letter to Marin, he explains the plan to her

Warnings: mentions of emotional ab*se

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

“Evi, would you mind taking a day trip for me tomorrow?” Astarion simpered into the kitchen where she was sweeping up.

“Of course, my lord.” she replied. “What sort of errand might it be?”

“It's beyond the Gate. A couple of hours by carriage,” he explained. “I have a letter to be hand-delivered. It's a bit of a… delicate task, so to speak.”

Evi grinned at those words, pretending to busy herself with sweeping. “And who might be the recipient?”

“Marin,” he admitted, feeling his heart flutter as he said it aloud.

“And the postal service won't run it for you, hm?” she replied, smiling to herself.

“Cheeky,” he grumbled. “She's married.”

“Married?”

“Yes, all right?” he snapped, a bit annoyed at her for prying into his life. “I can't take the chance it will fall into the hands of her husband. That's why the post office won't do. You’re a woman, so you won’t raise suspicion if you’re seen speaking to her. I need you to deliver it personally.”

She avoided his sharp gaze, a small blush across her tanned cheeks. “Of course, my lord.”

“Thank you,” he growled. “She should be at home during the daytime. I'd like you to wait out of sight until the afternoon, when the husband leaves for work. I'm not sure what hour he leaves the house, mind you - only that he works in a tavern. Bring something to keep busy while you wait.”

“Understood, my lord.”

“I’ll provide you with some extra gold for your discretion,” he impressed upon her, speaking carefully. “I'm paying you more than usual to take most of the day off, Evi. It needs to be done exactly right. This is a matter of her safety.”

She stopped pretending to focus on her task and met his eyes, looking sincere. “There’s no need to worry, Lord Astarion. I won't let you down.”


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1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 5

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 400 (chapter 5 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, forbidden relationship, Marin sends a letter, her husband fucking sucks, they are so in love and miss each other an excessive amount

I went too far for the bit on these letters and made visuals but I included a text-only version below it for accessibility~

Warnings: descriptions of emotional ab*se

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Several days later

“My lord,” came Evi’s muffled voice from beyond his study door. “The evening post has arrived.”

Astarion rose from his desk immediately. There wasn't much point in hoping, but he did, every time. He opened the door and took the envelopes from her hands.

“Thank you,” he muttered absent-mindedly, thumbing through them right in front of her. Is that-

“You're welcome,” Evi responded with a knowing smile, excusing herself. One was addressed in Marin’s handwriting, Ld. Astarion Ancunín, with a return address reading only M. He took it to his desk and cut it open immediately, his heart racing, careful not to slice through her handwriting on the envelope.

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 5

Dearest Astarion,

The days have been so dull since we parted. Del has been watching me more carefully than usual since his return, and I’ve been busy with my housework. I don't think he suspects me of our visit, but I have been more absentminded than usual, which may have set him on edge. I've been trying to keep up with my duties around the house, so as not to alert him to any changes. However, I think of our time together ceaselessly.

I long to join you again. Even returning to the bustle of Baldur's Gate felt magical compared to this town, and reminded me of our adventuring days. Del won't tell me the next time he goes out of town until a few days in advance, so I'm unsure how long it will be until I can get away again. I wish we could be together already, but we will have to wait for the next opportunity, my silver star.

My garden is thriving as the weather warms, which is cheering me up. I planted a few beets early this spring, and I think of you when tending to the sprouts. (because of the red juice)

I will write again as soon as I can. I have to be careful with this letter and will place it in the public postbox myself. In the meantime, I hope you are thinking of me the way I think of you. Our night together was far more special to me than a merely physical affair.

All my love,

Marin

Below the writing, there was a tiny doodle of a vampire (is it me?) looking at a beet.

Astarion leaned back as he finished reading, slumping down in his seat, his chest aching. She is so sweet. He almost felt guilty for being aroused at the conjured memories of her in his bed, but he knew it wasn’t a reflection of his heart. She is so much more to me.


Tags
1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 4

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 2.4k (chapter 4 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, oral sex, blowjob, Astarion comes all over her, dirty talk, praise, teasing, fingering, cunnilingus, PIV sex, riding, multiple orgasms, Marin comes all over him, I specifically hate the words squirting and female ejaculation both!!! but that's what happens, Marin's romantic confession, crying/comfort, soft Astarion is sad because she has to go home and he's lonely without her

There is so much fuckin' in this one, I'm only 5% sorry; these horny idiots are in LOVE and I will cry in this club about it

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

“I haven’t had a breakfast like that in a long time,” Marin chirped as she went up the stairs. The morning sun was bright now, shining in through the huge windows at the front of the house. Her red hair gleamed like raw gold in the sunlight. Gods, she’s beautiful.

“I’m glad I could treat you to it,” Astarion purred. “My servants do all the hard work, of course. I just slink between my bedroom and my study most days.”

He swatted at her butt as they reached the landing, eliciting a lighthearted protest from her.

“It’s a nice view,” he chuckled.

Marin led the way into his room, bouncing a little as she walked, acting comfortable in his home. His heart ached to share it with her for more than one night.

“So, darling. What’s next?” he prompted.

Without another word, Marin pulled him close and kissed him. His heart fluttered with excitement as she snaked her hands under his robe, grabbing at his bare chest.

“I couldn’t stop looking at your skin peeking through the top of your robe,” she whispered. “You’re so handsome.”

“And I couldn’t stop thinking about how you’re wearing nothing but my bed clothes under your robe,” he responded with a grin. She giggled, her cheeks pink.

“You were incredible last night,” she fawned.

“Why, thank you,” he replied, feeling his cock harden at the memory. “You were so very… exciting. I was rather embarrassed I couldn't go on for longer. I had hoped you enjoyed yourself enough to make up for that.”

“I haven't gotten off like that in forever,” she said earnestly, still blushing. “I'd forgotten how much I missed those skilled hands of yours.”

“These?” he purred, reaching around for her ass, causing her to jump.

“Ooh! Yes, those,” she giggled. He ran his hands over her, reaching down to where her thighs began, rubbing gently. She shuddered from the stimulation, and Astarion felt himself stiffen completely from the feel of her. He was slightly frustrated at his inability to keep his controlled demeanor with her. But perhaps it was a good thing that she made him feel differently than everyone else. Gods, I haven't lost control of myself like that since… well, since I last laid with her.

“I can feel you,” Marin remarked. She started to grind against his cock, making him pulse from the excitement.

“Well, you… have a way of unraveling me,” he admitted, inhaling deeply. She reached her hand down, beneath his robe and his underclothes, and took his cock in her soft hand. So warm.

“Is this all right?” she whispered.

“Yes,” he managed, his heart pounding. Her hand moved up and down the length of him, eliciting a groan. He shrugged off his robe, the silky material falling to the floor with a rustle.

“What do you want, Astarion?” Your hands, your mouth. Everything.

“You,” he replied. She giggled, her pink blush reappearing.

“Silly boy,” she teased. Nobody ever talks to me the way she does. “I meant, whatever shall I do with you?”

“Whatever you’d like, I suppose,” he muttered. “I'm yours.”

“Good boy,” she whispered. His cock pulsed in her hand as she praised him. “Oh, did you like that?”

He nodded, looking into her eyes. She pulled her hand away to wiggle out of her robe. He took the opportunity to grab the hem of her nightshirt, and she let him pull it up over her head. Her bare, freckled chest looked so lovely in the morning light.

“I thought I could have my fun with you, first,” she pouted as he worked his borrowed underclothes down over her hips.

“You can,” he insisted. “I wanted to see your beautiful body, darling.”

Marin’s cheeks and ears went red at his compliment.

“Then let’s dress you for the occasion as well,” she giggled, tugging at his waistband. He let her slide his underclothes off, his cock springing free. “Now, let’s get comfortable.”

She took his hand and pulled him to the bed. He sat on the edge, looking up at her.

“Good boy,” she repeated, eliciting a tiny gasp. Marin moved to her knees, taking his cock in her hand again. She licked the underside, making him shudder. She looked up at him with those enormous blue-green eyes, watching his reaction as she licked her lips and put them around the tip of his cock. He swallowed a moan and propped himself up with his arms straight behind him. Gods, I love her so much.

He bit his lip, trying to keep himself grounded. Don’t say anything stupid this time, he thought. He could feel his control slipping away as she sucked him off.

“You feel- d-divine,” he stuttered, trying to regain his eloquence. It wasn’t working. He could feel her tongue lapping, slightly stiff against the sensitive underside of his cock. He shuddered, a moan escaping his throat. He began to thrust towards her, restraining his movements to keep her comfortable.

She moaned a little with him in her mouth, driving him wild.

“Oh-h, Marin, you’re per- perfect,” he whined. “You make me want to-” Oh, shit. He felt his hips stiffening up, desperate to fuck her mouth harder. Tension was building in his belly. He tapped her shoulder, and she looked up at him with lidded eyes. Fuck, fuck.

“H-hand,” he managed. “Your hand, darling, I’m-”

She pulled her mouth off of him, leaving his cock slippery. She straightened up, leaning closer, and started jerking him off in front of her breasts, bouncing as she worked. He let his hips loose, his eyes fixed on her jiggling chest, thrusting as hard as he’d wanted to before. He rolled his hips, fucking into her hand, feeling her tits bump against the tip of his cock. He came suddenly, surprising even himself, like tumbling over a cliff. He watched as the valley between her breasts became covered in his fluid, letting himself finish before flopping back onto the bed. His arms felt like jelly.

“Holy hells, Astarion, that was a lot,” Marin panted. Fuck.

“I’m sorry,” he managed, breathless. “What a mess.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing, love,” she said adoringly, laying on her back next to him on the bed. Love? No, better not to make a fuss about it. It’s just a pet name.

“Oh?” he asked. She grabbed for his hand, pulling it to her body, his fingers on her cunt. She was radiating heat and very slick. “Oh, I see.”

He looked over to see her eyes glimmering back at him, her face eager. He summoned the strength to get up and crossed the room for a towel, handing it to her with a chuckle.

“What shall we do about that, I wonder?” he mused as she wiped at her chest. “I suppose… it’s only half past seven, and you have earned a reward. For your… excellent service.”

She sat up on the edge of the bed with her tits pushed out. “Yes, I have,” she responded playfully.

“You’ll have to convince me you really want it, of course,” he growled. Her face reddened even more.

“Please, Lord Astarion,” she pleaded, flirtatious. His stomach flipped, hearing her call him by that title. “I do.”

“Do you really?”

“So badly,” she continued, flopping onto her back, legs slightly open. “I just want you to touch me, more than anything in the world, Lord Astarion.”

He pounced on her and pinned her to the bed softly. She moaned and squirmed under him, not trying to escape.

“Touch you, hm?” he muttered. “Touch you where?”

“Everywhere, my love,” she whispered. There it is again. Love.

“Here?” he asked, running his fingers down the side of her neck and to her shoulder. She shuddered, nodding.

“And… here?” He clasped her breast with his hand, her nipple caught between two of his fingers, making her squirm again.

“Yes, please,” she whined.

He pulled back, standing on the edge of the bed on his knees, and hiked her up the bed. He came back down, his mouth at her breasts. He licked her nipple, pulling it gently into his mouth, painstakingly careful not to scrape her with his fangs. She moaned louder than he expected. I forgot how much she liked that.

He worked his tongue across her nipple, flicking at it with the tip of his tongue, feeling her hips roll underneath him. He moved his head to the other breast and repeated the treatment.

“Ohhh, Lord Astarion, yes,” she whimpered. She was still using his title, playing along. Such a cheeky girl.

He pulled his head away, hearing her whine at the loss. He looked up into her eyes again, seeing them glazed over with lust.

“Shall I touch you here?” he offered, brushing his fingers over her pelvis, eliciting a gasp.

“Yes, yes,” she moaned. “There, please, Lord Astarion.”

“As you wish, my lady.” He crawled down again, his face at her bellybutton, kissing his way down. She tipped her pelvis up at him impatiently. He reached between her legs, finding her entrance and pushing two fingers inside. She was dripping wet. He felt for her most sensitive zone, feeling the taut place at the front and pressing upwards against it. She moaned and stiffened her hips as he touched her there.

Once he was propped on his elbow, he lowered his mouth to her cunt, lapping at her. She let out a surprised whimper, lifting her head to look down at him. He froze, watching her eyes, until she nodded at him. Thank the Gods.

He worked his tongue slowly over her, moving his fingers in rhythm with his mouth. She moaned, higher pitched and more urgently the longer he worked on her. Gods, you’re beautiful, I love you, he thought. He felt his cock pulse, starting to harden again at the temptation, but remained focused on touching her.

“Oh, fuck, Astarion,” she whimpered. “Please don’t stop.”

He shook his head slightly, not lifting his mouth from her body. I’m not stopping unless you say so. He worked faster, hearing her voice cutting out as she moaned his name.

“Oh A- star-” she cried out. “Oh Gods- I’m comi-”

He felt her insides flutter and pulse around his fingers. Oh, fuck. She was so, so hot. He felt himself sweating too, his cheeks and ears slipping against her inner thighs. She panted, trying to catch her breath, so he gave her a short break from the stimulation before starting up again. Her moans resumed, high and urgent, and it took even less time for her to wind up the second time.

“Fucking hells,” she whimpered. “You’re going to make me-”

“Mhm,” he murmured against her cunt, nodding slightly, encouraging her. She cried out, pulsing hard around his fingers again. He felt himself get completely, desperately hard as he listened to her falling apart. Bleeding hells, she is so lovely.

His fingers pushed against the inside of her, realizing the front was more taut and resistant to his touch than before. Suddenly, a few of the times he’d fingered her into oblivion came rushing into his mind. This might make a mess. He wanted her on him so badly, tight like that around his cock. He pulled his head away, keeping his fingers still.

“Marin,” he purred. “My sweet, we should get off the bed. I’m going to get something to put underneath us.”

She nodded, her eyes wide, seemingly having realized it as well. He pulled away from her and grabbed several towels from across the room. He laid them all down, creating thick layers on top of the bedding.

“Will you let me fuck you?” he pleaded, her eyes glancing down to his cock standing at attention.

“Yes,” she panted immediately. “Lay down.”

He laid on his back, positioning his pelvis on top of the towels. She climbed onto the bed and into his lap, holding his cock still so she could sink down onto it. He could feel her all around him, tight and soaking wet. His earlier release would buy him some time. Thank the Gods. The sensation of her was so very overwhelming.

“Oh-h-h,” came her broken moans as she settled onto him. “Astarion-”

“You’re perfect,” he huffed, trying to hold still while she got comfortable. “Absolutely perfect.”

Her cheeks were bright red, the flush spreading like wildfire over her ears and shoulders. She rocked against him, trying to get as close as possible. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her down onto his pelvis, hard. He bounced her on his cock, using his grip to keep her close, watching her tits bounce along. Her mouth was open in a beautiful oval, her eyes rolling upwards behind closed lids. I will not come before her, he thought. I have to give her this. She deserves to be happy. He felt his eyes well slightly at the thought. Gods damn it.

She looked down at him with that doe-eyed face of desperation. She didn’t say a word, but her face gave her away.

“It’s all right, darling. Let go,” he begged, his voice high and breathless. “Come for me, Marin. Mess be damned.”

She kept her eyes locked on his, letting out staccato cries as he felt her waves come crashing down around him. Her eyes slammed shut, barely any sound escaping her, pulsing so hard around his cock as more and more fluid puddled between them, running down over his hips onto the towels below. That’s it. He lost any semblance of control.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” he whimpered and came inside of her. He felt her swaying above him and grabbed her shoulders to guide her down onto his chest. He held her as they both shuddered and caught their breath.

“Astarion,” she mumbled against his neck, her voice muffled.

“Yes, dear.”

“I love you. I never stopped,” she admitted quietly. He stayed silent, holding her tightly, his face solemn. He felt her closed eyelids grow wet against his bare skin. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, my sweet,” he consoled her. “It’s quite natural to cry after a release like that.”

“All right,” she muttered. Her tears slid down over his shoulder, soaking into the bedding below. His own eyes welled up, knowing their time together was almost over. She’ll be leaving again, and I’ll be here alone. Again.


Tags
1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 3

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1k (chapter 3 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, ex-lovers reunited, forbidden relationship, angst, Marin's husband is emotionally ab*sive, she's in denial and Astarion finds out, protective/angry Astarion, comfort

Warnings: descriptions of emotional ab*se

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

They say your head can be a prison / Then these are just conjugal visits

Marin woke with a start, unsure where she was for a moment. She sat up straight before realizing she was with Astarion. She heard him stir behind her.

“Are you all right?” he mumbled.

“Yes, I was… dreaming, I suppose,” she muttered. “I don't remember.”

“Come back to me,” he implored. She laid down next to him.

“You must have been terribly bored,” she said sheepishly. “I'm sorry.”

“Hm? No, I read my book for a while, and then I rested. I was in a trance until you woke.”

“Oh. I'm sorry,” she repeated.

“Now, stop that, darling,” he scolded gently. “You simply must stop apologizing to me. I'm glad you're here.”

“I'm glad, too,” she replied honestly. “Do you have the time?”

He checked a watchpiece on his side table. “Early. A bit after three.”

“I feel wide awake.” She turned to look at him.

“You did fall asleep quite early,” he chuckled, his eyes soft. “Why, do you want to get up?”

Marin shook her head. “I want to stay here for now.”

“All right, then. Whatever shall we do together, in my bed?” he mused, being cheeky.

“Can we talk?”

Astarion cleared his throat. “Of course.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she started.

“What do you mean, darling?” Astarion propped himself on his side.

“About… all of this,” she replied. “I thought I could come here, and see you, and then go back home. And then… we’d be even, I suppose. Things would go back to normal.”

Astarion was quiet for a long time. “And why can’t they? Go back to normal, I mean.”

“I don’t want to go back to normal. I feel like I’m in prison,” she muttered. “At home, with him.”

“Perhaps you need regular conjugal visits, then,” he joked.

“I’m serious, Astarion.” She turned to look at him, her face anxious. “Del’s a good man, but… I’m resentful. I feel like a servant.”

“Is he a good man?” he asked, studying her face. “He doesn’t sound like one, though I know I’m not exactly the right person to make a moral judgment.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s sleeping around, with a woman like you waiting at home. How long has he been hiding it from you?”

“Well, it was just the one… that I know of,” Marin said, uneasy. “It was a few months ago. She had just moved into town and didn’t know he was married. She told me a couple of weeks later, when she realized he had a wife.”

“So, he’s had plenty of time to broach the subject,” he mused. “He’s too pathetic to tell you the truth. Or he doesn’t give a damn.”

She felt tears welling up. Gods damn it.

“It’s my fault,” she whispered. “It has to be.”

“How could it be your fault?” he asked quietly. “You’re beautiful, Marin. You’re a loving person. He had no reason to stray, and yet he did.”

“He’s so angry all the time,” she lamented. “I try to do everything just the way he wants me to, and I still fail.”

Astarion gently turned her chin to face him again, looking into her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“His house. His dinner. All his rules. Everything.”

“His house?” he repeated, bristling at her words. “His… rules? What kind of rules?”

“The house has to be spotless when he’s there,” she explained. “I have to do all the cooking. And I have to look nice for him - keep my hair brushed, and wear pretty things when he’s around. Nothing ever looks good enough in his eyes.”

Astarion’s eyes were red like hot coals under his knitted brows. He looked furious now.

“What happens if you don’t… follow his rules?” he growled slowly.

“He yells at me,” she choked out. “Says mean things to me. Calls me names.”

Astarion rolled onto his back, taking deep, shaky breaths.

“And if he finds out I left town, he’ll be-”

“I’ll kill him,” he snarled, staring at the canopy with his jaw clenched. Marin’s heart pounded, her stomach churning. Oh no, what have I done?

“Astarion, what- why are you so angry?” she stuttered, her voice high and quivering.

He softened at once, seemingly realizing he was scaring her. He turned back to her and pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” she squeaked.

“For frightening you. For everything. I’m so sorry, Marin.”

“What- are you all right?”

“I never should have let you go. I should have begged you to stay here, where I can protect you,” he whispered, sounding almost manic, his arms shaking as he held her. “I thought you’d be safe without me, but-”

“Safe? What are you saying, Astarion?”

He pulled back from her and pressed his forehead to hers, tears in his eyes.

“You protected me from him,” he said, his voice shaking. “Being with you was the first time I felt safe, and you helped me kill him. You gave me what I have.”

“What does any of that have to do with Del?” she asked, bewildered.

“He treats you terribly! He won’t let you leave!” he objected, his voice high and indignant, before lowering back to a growl. “He’s a poisonous little snake. I won’t wait until he bites you to crush him under my heel.”

“Astarion, please don’t talk like that. He doesn’t hurt me. I’m safe.”

“You can’t stay there with a man like that, Marin!” he pleaded, his eyes sharp and fearful. “It will only get worse. Please, let me protect you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this any more right now,” she choked out, holding back tears. “Please, can we just be together for a while longer before I go? Like old times?”

He took a deep breath, and laid quietly for a while, regaining control of himself. Finally, he pulled her close again.

“Of course we can, darling.”


Tags
1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 2

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1.2k (chapter 2 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, ex-lovers reunited, forbidden relationship, romantic confession, aftercare, non-sexual nudity/intimacy, angst, regret, jealousy, crying, comfort, fluff, soft Astarion

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Next chapter

“The bath’s ready,” Astarion announced, poking his head around the bedroom door. Marin was already asleep on the edge of the bed, though he'd only been gone a few minutes. “Oh, darling. You must be exhausted. Poor thing.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” she mumbled, realizing she'd been asleep. She blinked a few times, clearing the blurriness from her eyes. It had been a terribly long day.

“Don't be. Let's get cleaned up, and you can rest all you want afterwards, hm?” Astarion said softly, extending a hand to help her rise.

The bath was exquisite - a huge wooden tub, filled with warm, delicately scented water and flower petals floating on the top.

“Now, there's room for the both of us in here, but I can wash up elsewhere if you'd like your privacy. Your decision,” Astarion offered.

“Stay,” Marin responded. “I think I'd fall asleep in there, to be honest.”

Astarion chuckled. “As you wish, my dear.”

He helped her lift her dress up over her head, and then took off the tight pants he'd been wearing. He took both piles of clothes, including their undergarments, and placed them in the hall.

“What are you doing?” Marin blurted out.

“Leaving them for my housekeeper. I let her know we'd need yours cleaned for tomorrow.”

“Including my underclothes? Oh, gods, with the mess we made… how mortifying.” She felt a blush spreading down to her bare shoulders.

“I met Evi when she worked in a brothel,” Astarion said with a smirk. “She gets far better wages to clean that sort of mess now. Don't be embarrassed.”

Marin’s face was burning at the thought, but she slipped her leg into the bath without argument.

“Ohhh, it's perfect,” she sighed, climbing in and submerging herself to the chin. Astarion followed suit, sinking down next to her facing the same direction.

“Mmm, yes, it is,” he agreed. They sat together in silence for a while.

“I could take a bath like this every single night,” Marin said absentmindedly.

“You could, if you wanted to,” Astarion responded earnestly. “You can stay here anytime.”

She wasn't sure what to say to that. She kept her eyes closed, completely flushed, turning his words over in her mind: I love you. Was that just one of his charming lines? Does he say that a lot?

“Did you fall asleep?” he asked, pulling her back into the moment. Her eyes sprang open.

“Hm? Uh, maybe.”

“You poor, sweet thing,” Astarion sympathized, his voice like honey. How do I ask him about that? Is there a tactful way to broach the subject?

“Did you mean it?” she blurted out. So much for tact, Marin.

“Hm?”

“When you… uh, never mind,” she muttered. He straightened up a bit, stiffening his posture as he guessed her intentions.

“You mean when we were having sex?”

Leave it to Astarion to find the most uncomfortable way to hold a mirror to your own face. Is he embarrassed too? It's so hard to tell.

“Yeah.”

He sighed, pondering it for a moment before he spoke again. “Well, I suppose I meant it at the time.”

“What does that even mean?” Marin asked, a bit too harshly.

“It was the heat of the moment, darling. A force of habit,” he admitted. Her stomach dropped.

“Yeah, I'll bet you say that to everyone who lets you put your cock in them,” she replied bitterly.

“To everyone? Certainly not, dear,” he snapped, a bit of offense in his voice.

“Then why'd you say it was a habit?”

“From when I was with you, back then,” he clarified. “I used to tell you that all the time. The body remembers things like that.”

She looked away, ashamed for having been so short with him. What in the hells was that? Am I jealous? Of Astarion?

“Are you all right, Marin?” he asked, softly. “You're not upset with me for having sex with other people, surely. Was I meant to remain celibate in your absence?”

She felt tears welling up. She didn't speak, trying to push them back down before he noticed.

“Marin?”

“I'm jealous, okay?” she blurted out. “It's stupid, and it doesn't make any sense, but I am.”

“It's not stupid,” he responded. “Another man gets to hear you say ‘I love you’ while he beds you, year after year. While I'm here in this empty place, alone. Sensible or not, I know how it feels.”

“You're not here alone,” she replied, her words coming out grumpier than intended. “That's ridiculous. I'm sure you've fucked all manner of noblemen, and their wives too.”

“I didn't say my bed was cold, darling,” he sniped. “And besides, that's hardly the same. They were just sex. Distractions, as you mentioned earlier. Elves fall in love once or twice in a long lifetime, or have you forgotten?”

It was no use trying to hold the tears back anymore. They came streaming down her face, stinging her red cheeks and dripping into the bathwater. He put a hand on the side of her face, turning her head towards him, his fingers finally warm.

“What are you crying for? I didn't…” he trailed off. “I was too harsh. I'm sorry, my sweet.”

“No, that's not-” she sobbed, trying to catch her breath. “I haven't felt- I don't- I'm s-sorry-” The thoughts she tried to hold together kept slipping through her fingers.

Astarion pulled her close, bare chest pressed against hers, his wet curls touching the side of her face.

“You're not to blame for my loneliness, dear,” he consoled her, petting her hair. “I was the one who pushed you away by acting like a bastard, and I've been reckoning with that for a long time now. It's nothing new for me.”

“Well, who's to blame for my loneliness, then?” she blubbered.

“Your cheating husband. Your selfish vampire. Take your pick.”

“He's not a bad guy. And neither are you. There must be something wrong with me,” she lamented. He pulled back and held her shoulders, taking a better look at her.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Marin. Let's get you to bed, okay? You'll feel better.”

She nodded, her tears slowing. He stood and got out of the bath, drying himself with a towel before helping her up. He gave her the towel to wrap around herself while they crossed the hall. Her body felt so heavy and cumbersome.

They stepped out of the steamy bathroom, the dirty clothes now missing from the hall. He kept his arm around her shoulders, guiding her back to his bedroom.

Marin sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling woozy, while Astarion hunted through the wardrobe. He returned to her with a nightshirt and some of his underclothes.

“Wear these for tonight,” he said softly. He pulled down the bedding while she dressed, making a comfortable space for her to lay down. She obliged, curling up on her side. She felt him crawl into bed behind her, pulling her into the crook of his body.

“You don't sleep,” she mumbled.

“I'll stay with you anyway,” he whispered in her ear. “I’ll be here when you wake, all right?”

She nodded as she drifted off.

“Now rest, darling.”


Tags
1 month ago

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 1

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Overview: I was inspired by an old favorite song - The Take Over, The Break's Over by Fall Out Boy. I really wanted to make a story about a protective A!Astarion reuniting with his ex-lover who has a shit husband and it became a WAY longer story than I intended. Super smutty and quite heavy throughout. Astarion's PTSD and Marin's emotionally ab*sive husband are triggers later on!

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 3.7k (chapter 1 of 17)

Setting: Baldur's Gate, post-plot of BG3

Content: Marin's POV, ex-lovers reunited, forbidden relationship, semi-public make-out, dirty talk, hook-up, fingering, quickie, standing/wall sex, romantic confession, soft Ascended Astarion is lonely

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

Next chapter

Don't pretend you ever forgot about me

Marin arrived at the bar in the early evening, the fourth place she'd checked for Astarion. The servant at his front door said he went out for drinks and wasn't expected back for several hours, but she couldn't afford to wait in his sitting room for him to come home. Instead, she went searching for Astarion at the fancy establishments near his home, despite the sprinkling rain. As she stepped past the entranceway of the tavern, she spotted him from behind.

There he was, perched on a small chair like a peacock, gesturing as he spoke. A nobleman sat across from him, drunkenly laughing at his story, a courtesan giggling between the two. She was leaning against the other man, but clearly enraptured by Astarion. Marin could hardly blame her - the other man was likely a well-paying client, but nowhere near as charming.

Time seemed to stand still. The drunken man must have noticed her standing across the room, staring at the group of them, and smiled in her direction. Trying to figure out what he was looking at, the woman ended up spotting her as well. She smiled and gave a little wave to Marin.

Astarion glanced over his shoulder, his characteristic smirk still plastered on his face. It quickly dropped when he saw Marin. He didn't look upset, to her relief. His eyes were wide, lips slightly parted. He furrowed his brow and squinted a little, as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

“... Marin?”

Her heart raced hearing her name from his mouth again.

“Astarion.”

He'd completely lost interest in the others at his table, rising slowly from his chair. He strode elegantly across the bar, despite his surprise.

“Bleeding hells. It's actually you,” Astarion said, his mouth breaking into a genuine smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought we could have a drink,” she responded, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “The two of us. Catch up.”

Astarion's brows knitted together in disbelief, but he played along regardless. “All right, then. Let's have a drink.”

He extended an arm, offering it to her like a gentleman. She took it, tighter than she intended. Without missing a beat, he led her across the floor, walking all the way to the back of the establishment. He presented her with a pair of comfortable armchairs, waiting for her to sit before sinking into one himself, signalling for a waiter.

“Wine for you, darling?”

Marin’s stomach jumped at the pet name.

“Liquor,” she replied, trying to sound composed. He perked an eyebrow with curiosity, but didn't challenge her. He turned to the waiter who had appeared.

“Brandy, for both of us. Thank you,” he requested, before turning back to Marin.

“Sooo, you know I must ask. What brings a married woman into a bar for a drink with her old lover?” he drawled. “I hadn’t the faintest clue you were in town.”

“I wanted to see you,” she replied, earnestly.

“After all these years?” he asked with surprise, watching her carefully. “Obviously, darling, I'm flattered. But I thought you were finished with me.”

“I don't hate you. I never did,” she countered. “It was just too hard to be… close to you, after everything that happened. And then I met Del.”

“Yes, Wyll told me you were leaving town to get married. I assumed that was the end of it. Of us.” His tone was still calm and measured, despite the subject.

The drinks arrived, and Marin immediately took hers from the table. She took a big drink, hoping to steel her nerves, and coughed a little. Damn, it's been a long time since I had something this strong, she thought. How embarrassing. She looked up to see Astarion smiling at her.

“You're cute, you know that?” Astarion mused, admiringly. “I have missed you, dear. Despite myself.”

“Did you really?” she asked, being cheeky despite her nerves. “I thought a lordship would have plenty of distractions. Especially one as handsome as you.”

Astarion tipped his head back with genuine laughter.

“Distractions, certainly. You wouldn't believe the parties,” he purred. “That doesn't mean I haven't missed our… little talks.”

He looked as beautiful as he always had. No, even better. Years of luxury and rest seemed to have helped his skin. The dark circles and fine lines had eased slightly since their adventuring days. She blushed at the realization, hoping she hadn't aged too noticeably in his eyes.

“So, darling, how long are you in town?” Astarion asked, snapping her out of her own thoughts.

“Well, I need to be home tomorrow to prepare the house. My husband will be home from his trip tomorrow night, and I need to get it fixed up for him.”

He furrowed his brow. “Why do you have to fix up the house for your husband?”

“Not all of us have servants to clean up and cook dinner,” she scoffed, teasing him. “I have to do that stuff myself. He expects it to be perfect when he’s around.”

Astarion stared at her suspiciously, looking like he wanted to press it further, but he dropped the subject. “Well, then. Dinner?”

She shook her head. “I thought maybe I could see your home,” she chirped. “I went there first. It looks great. I haven't been there since…” Marin trailed off, realizing what she was saying. Since I helped you kill Cazador.

“Yes, it's changed a lot,” Astarion responded, steering the conversation. “Obviously, with the city in such a state, it was hard to get repairs done. Things have quieted down, though.”

The two stared at each other for a moment.

“Well then, shall we take a little walk?” Astarion said, rising from his chair and extending a hand to her. “I believe the rain has slowed since I arrived, so it should be rather pleasant.”

Marin accepted his hand and stood as well, swaying a tiny bit. Hells, that drink went to my head more than I expected, she thought. Astarion was gracious, offering his elbow for her to grip and walk with him. He led her across the bar, collecting their cloaks at the door.  His was a fine garment meant to protect his expensive suit from the elements. Her simple traveling cloak looked very plain by comparison.

Outside, the soft pattering of rain set a very different tone from the warm, crowded tavern. The streets were fairly empty, aside from a few carriages passing by. Most people were indoors after sunset on a rainy evening.

“I have a confession to make,” Marin admitted.

“I knew it,” came Astarion’s smug voice from beside her. “There's more to this, isn't there?”

“I didn't come here to ask you for money, if that's what you're implying,” she hissed. “I did come to see you.”

“Why would you want to see me, darling? Not only for a free brandy and idle chatter, I hope,” he sneered. “Perhaps to see the look of shock on my face in a crowded bar? To taunt me for my loneliness, despite my hedonistic life? To remind me of what I'm missing?”

Marin stopped and turned to look at him. “I didn't come here to taunt you. I'm not that kind of person.”

“I know that, dear,” he said, a bit exasperated. “I'm just trying to understand why a good girl with a loving husband would track down an old flame.”

“He's not that loving,” Marin snapped, starting to walk again. “Can you stop being a prick?”

Astarion snorted. “Not really, no,” he responded playfully. “What-”

She surprised him into silence, pulling him down a secluded alleyway with a jerk. She pulled him to face her and clumsily kissed him on the cheek, too close to his mouth for a friendly greeting.

“What in the- Marin, are you feeling alright?”

Instead of answering, she grabbed the lapels of his suit and kissed him again, this time on the mouth. He didn't protest.

“There. Is that clear enough for you?” she huffed. Astarion watched her face carefully, thinking before he spoke.

“You're not drunk,” he started, slowly. I forgot he can smell my blood. “You're not joking, either. You came all the way to Baldur's Gate, just to see me? To… be with me?”

“You used to say you were always up for ‘a sordid little affair’ after we broke up,” Marin sniped, mimicking his accent. “What’s the problem?”

“Well, naturally, I am,” he drawled. “But I didn't think you were the type to take me up on it.”

“Maybe I've changed!” she snapped. “It's been a long time since you knew me. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“Yes, it is, dear.”

“This was a mistake,” Marin huffed with frustration. She turned to leave, but he kept a gentle grip on her forearm.

“Please, don't go,” he said, his voice softening. “I was only trying to help. I don't want you to run off just yet.”

She stopped, still turned away from him. She didn’t really want to leave, but her face burned with embarrassment.

“I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want you to make a mistake and… regret me,” he admitted. “I’m sure you already do.”

Marin turned back to him, her brows knitted with uncertainty. How much do I share? Will he think I’m a fool?

“Del slept with somebody else,” she blurted out, staring at the pavement. “So I stopped fighting my urge to come back here. To see you. I thought about it for a long time.”

“I presume… it wasn’t a planned arrangement, then?” he asked gently.

“No. He fucked some other woman for no reason at all,” she hissed, fighting back tears. “He doesn’t even know that I found out. I’m sure he thinks he’s rather clever.”

Astarion took her hand in his. They both stood silently for a long time, with light rain hitting the pavement as the only sound.

“I don’t want you to make a mistake,” he said earnestly. “But I’ll have you, darling. If this is truly what you want.”

“Yes, it is,” Marin responded without hesitation.

Astarion’s eyes searched her face cautiously, looking for any hint of doubt or regret. He moved closer, his eyes locked on hers, gently backing her up against the bricks behind her. She stared up at him, holding her breath, exhilarated from how close he was. His eyes gleamed a deep garnet in the growing darkness, his gaze now fixed on her lips. The damp wall was cold against her back.

He put a hand behind her head and kissed her, his chilled fingers at the nape of her neck making her shiver. Marin leaned deeper into the kiss, poking his lips ever so slightly with her tongue. He responded with his own tongue in her mouth, and before long, they were kissing messily like a pair of horny fools. She rubbed up against him with her hips, feeling the outline of his cock press against her. He inhaled at the sensation, grinding himself against her, his hands on her waist to hold her close. He moved one hand down to her ass, grabbing at her and eliciting a muffled moan.

“Gods, I’ve missed you,” he panted. “I’d forgotten how much until I saw you.”

“And you still know how to drive me wild,” she whispered.

She reached down between them, feeling the firm outline of his cock. His pants were perfectly form-fitting and made of a silky material. They can’t be very comfortable, but Gods damn it, they look so good on him. She felt him pulse at her touch, looking up to find his eyes had gone glazed over, almost feral.

“Just don’t bite me, okay? I can’t go home with a mark like that.”

“As much as I’d love to, I was thinking of something else,” he responded. He snaked a hand down the front of her body, grasping between her legs. Marin gasped, tipping her pelvis forward into his hand instinctively. He wouldn’t have any access through her long dress, at least not without a serious adjustment. Why did I wear this thing?

Astarion seemed to wrest control of himself with great effort, straightening up and pulling away from her with a deep breath. She whined at the loss.

“I don’t want any interruptions, darling,” he whispered. “It’d be a little unseemly to go any farther right here. People know me in this part of town.”

He once again offered her his arm, and she clung to him as they walked. The rain had started picking up again, and they both pulled up the hoods of their cloaks to keep dry.

“Do you know what I’d like to do with you, Marin?” Astarion mused quietly. “I would love to push you up against that wall and take you, here and now. Rain and reputation be damned.”

“I can’t imagine,” she responded, teasing him. “You’ll have to paint the picture a little more clearly for me.” He chuckled, realizing her game.

“Well, it would start with a kiss, just like that one. Our bodies pressed close together, and our hands on each other. Perhaps I’d touch you where it was sure to drive you wild. And perhaps you’d let me know how much you wanted it, and beg me to take you right then.”

She hummed as if she were pondering the scenario, her face scarlet.

“And after such an intriguing request from such a beautiful woman, well…” he paused. “I’d have no choice but to oblige. I’d hike up your dress and pick you up, both of your legs to one side.”

“Would you, now?” She was playing coy, despite how badly she wanted to hear the rest of his story. “And why is that?”

“So that I could pull your underclothes down over your ankles like the naughty little thing you are. Then I’d wrap your bare legs around me and pull your hips close, letting you feel just how badly I’ve missed you. How long I’ve missed you.”

She giggled at his double entendre.

“You’d be so close to my cock, and so ready to take it. I couldn’t resist you after that, naturally,” he whispered as they walked up the path. “I’d have to have you,”

Marin sucked in a breath, realizing she’d been captivated by his description for several blocks. They were nearly to the looming entrance of his palace. He stopped short of the front step to whisper in her ear.

“Of course, it’s all hypothetical, darling. I’m a gentleman, after all.” She snorted at the assertion as he stepped up and knocked, announcing himself.

The servant who had greeted Marin earlier opened the door. “Good evening, my lord. Ah, I see you found each other!” she said, recognizing his companion. “What good fortune.”

They stepped over the entranceway into the lavish home. “Thank you, Evi. You may retire for the evening,” Astarion said with a smile, his tone even.

“Thank you, my lord,” she responded cheerfully, hanging their damp cloaks on hooks. She glanced once more at Marin before heading down a nearby hallway.

“I only have two of them here unless I’m hosting,” he explained. “Their quarters are below the main floor. They won’t bother us.” He must have seen the unease on her face. He snaked an arm behind her waist and led her to the staircase.

“Or hear us, no matter how loud we are,” he added quietly. Her face burned fiercely at the very thought. “Now, let’s get upstairs and out of these wet clothes. There will be time to explore later.”

Astarion led her up the stairs with a haste she hadn’t seen from him that evening. He seemed to drop his gentlemanly demeanor more with every passing second, his excitement becoming more apparent. She followed him without a word. Several floors up, they reached a room at the end of a long hallway.

He swung the door open a little too hard, drawing her in behind him. He shut the heavy wooden door and pushed her up against it. Holy hells. She’d forgotten how fast he could move when he felt like it. Despite her pounding heart, she held her breath, noticing his eyes locked on hers again. They were ruby red in the candlelight, and hungry, like the bloodthirsty predator he was.

“Oh, Astarion,” she blurted out, stunned by the intensity of his gaze.

“This is still what you want, my dear?” he whispered, breathless and deadly serious.

“Yes. Gods, yes,” Marin replied immediately.

And with that, he dropped all pretense, kissing her like they’d resumed exactly where they left off. He pressed his hips against her body, his tight pants giving away how completely hard he was already. His little story on the way home hadn’t been only for her entertainment, apparently.

“You’re so hard,” she whined, grinding her hips against him.

“Of course I am,” he huffed. “You’re here, in my bedroom, after all this time.”

He reached his hand down and grabbed between her legs once more, the thick fabric of her dress in the way.

“Now, that won’t do,” he growled. He took her by the hips and moved her to the four-poster bed, gently pushing her down on her back. He hurriedly undid the buttons on his suit coat, and then his undershirt, before throwing both across the room. Marin watched his every move, her eyes wide. He always looks so good with his chest bare, Gods damn him. Same as he always did. He unfastened his terribly tight pants, adjusting his cock without exposing himself.

“Bleeding hells, that’s better,” he groaned. “It was getting painful.”

Marin let out a tiny giggle at his honesty. He hiked up her dress and kneeled in front of her, pulling at her wet underclothes. He got them down over her ankles and returned his attention to her, his cold, nimble hands snaking up her thighs. She shivered beneath his touch.

“You are… so beautiful,” he managed, trying to control himself as his fingers reached her hips. He met her gaze, an unspoken question on his mind. He was still careful about consent after all this time, no matter how mad he was with lust.

“Yes, Astarion,” she panted desperately. “Yes, please, touch me.”

He moved his hand quickly to comply. First one finger was inside, then another, searching for the spot that made her wild. He found it with a few strokes, making her hips tilt forward in surprise.

“Oh, Gods,” Marin whined, letting her head fall back on the soft bedding. She felt every ounce of tension melt in an instant, and then slowly return. His fingers beckoned inside of her, making her absent-mindedly wiggle closer to the edge of the bed, seeking more. His other hand was flat on top of her pelvis, applying gentle pressure to increase the stimulation inside, with his thumb rubbing at her clit. The combination of his movements was completely overwhelming, emptying her mind of anything else. Every bit of her attention was focused where his deft hands met her body, inside and out. She felt a hot wave of pleasure move slowly up her entire core. More and more waves followed, and she felt the pitch of her moans rising unintentionally. Oh, hells, here we go.

Marin finally perked her head off the bed to look down at him, his forehead dripping with sweat, eyes transfixed on his work. Astarion heard her move and glanced up to see her, doe-eyed and gasping.

“Oh, Astarion,” she whimpered. “I’m so close, I’m going to- ohhh-”

“Come for me,” he purred, enjoying the show. “Come, darling.”

Her thighs quivered, hips thrusting upwards as she reached her peak, crying out loudly as she tumbled down over the edge. As soon as she relaxed her hips, she felt his hands pull away from her. Marin propped herself up on her elbows to look down at him. He had pulled his cock out and was using his hand, still slick from touching her, to cover himself with some oil he’d grabbed.

Before she could say a word, he yanked her to the edge of the bed by her dress, wrapping an arm firmly behind her waist and pulling her up. She did her best to hold on as he stood up, her arms and legs wrapped around his bare torso, despite how weak and useless her muscles felt. He backed her up against the door, his cock touching the back of her thigh, her dress draped over where their bodies met.

“Ready?” he panted. She nodded eagerly, and he reached up under the fabric and guided his cock to her entrance, pushing inside of her. He groaned from the relief as he worked her smoothly down his own length, propping her on his hips. He put one arm out straight against the door to steady himself, the other wrapped around her waist to keep her close to him. He thrusted into her, making contact with her most sensitive spots and making her cry out.

“Oh, hells, Marin,” he whined at her. “You are perfect.”

“Oh, Astarion,” she moaned. “Oh, fuck me!”

“I will,” he grunted, trying to get even deeper. She could hear her back bumping clumsily against the heavy wooden door as he thrusted into her. She felt a hot ball of pleasure building in her chest, bouncing along with her tits and intensifying quickly.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck!” she cried out, ignoring the racket they must be making by this point. She could hear rhythmic moans rising from his throat as he slammed into her.

“Oh, I’m close, darling,” he panted, his voice higher-pitched and desperate now. “Please come for me, Marin, please- I ca- can’t stop-”

She felt the ball of pleasure explode behind her sternum like a firework, her mouth open wide, voice cracking as she cried out. He let himself loose as he felt her coming around his cock, falling apart, banging her back against the door, hard.

“Oh, Marin, I- love you s-” Astarion whimpered as he came. Her eyes went huge at his admission. She felt him go weak under her weight, and he slid slowly to the ground, careful not to let her fall. He landed on his knees and slumped all the way down, Marin still planted firmly on his hips with her back resting against the door. His head fell forward onto her shoulder, exhausted, his chest heaving.


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1 month ago
For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.

For dragons are fire made flesh, and fire is power.

The idea of creating a coat of arms and heraldic symbols for Ascended Astarion has been growing in my mind for quite some time. Every self-respecting vampire lord should have their own emblem — especially someone as ambitious as Ascended Astarion.

At the center of the entire composition, I envision the sun — a crucial symbol that runs through his entire narrative. He ascends and no longer fears the daylight, transforming the vampire’s greatest curse into a triumph. He proclaims himself the Sun King, and in the epilogue, he holds the title of Sunwalking Regent. To make the solar disc the emblem of a vampire is truly bold, provocative — and entirely in his character.

Astarion: This is it. The hopeless dream dreamt by all of my kind.

For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.

Against the backdrop of the sun — a red dragon. In the finale of the game, Astarion wears a magnificent outfit adorned with an embroidered red dragon, and to me, this image feels deeply symbolic. The dragon is a representation of power, destructive force, and ambition.

I also want to mention legends from A Song of Ice and Fire, like this one:

«A trader from Qarth once told me that dragons came from the moon,» blond Doreah said as she warmed a towel over the fire.

Silvery-wet hair tumbled across her eyes as Dany turned her head, curious. «The moon?»

«He told me the moon was an egg, Khaleesi,» the Lysene girl said. «Once there were two moons in the sky, but one wandered too close to the sun and cracked from the heat. A thousand thousand dragons poured forth, and drank the fire of the sun. That is why dragons breathe flame. One day the other moon will kiss the sun too, and then it will crack and the dragons will return.»

For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.
For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.

The evil chromatic dragons in D&D are primarily united by their greed and egocentrism. They have an insatiable thirst for wealth, which permeates all their actions, plans, and manipulations. These dragons are convinced that worldly treasures rightfully belong to them, and therefore they claim others' riches, disregarding all others whom they consider guilty of "stealing" what is theirs. Dragons are not interested in commerce and do not seek to use their wealth for trade; they accumulate treasures solely for the sake of possession.

Every chromatic dragon considers itself the most powerful being, worthy of ruling over all. A central element of each such dragon’s worldview is the firm belief in their inherent right to dominate and control.

Red dragons are among the most arrogant and the most greedy for treasure:

«No other dragon comes close to the arrogance of the red dragon. These creatures see themselves as kings and emperors, and view the rest of dragonkind as inferior. Believing that they are chosen by Tiamat to rule in her name, red dragons consider the world and every creature in it as theirs to command.» © Monster Manual (2014)

For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.

It's nice to see this symbol — recognizable, almost archetypal — appear on the clothing of my favorite character in the game's finale.

For Dragons Are Fire Made Flesh, And Fire Is Power.

And you, consorts… how do you envision Lord Astarion's coat of arms? What symbols, in your opinion, should be on his banner, and what motto?


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1 month ago
Is There Anything You Can Share There? He Loves Wool And Socks Or Something.
Is There Anything You Can Share There? He Loves Wool And Socks Or Something.

Is there anything you can share there? He loves wool and socks or something.

Newbon: Yeah. There’s a thing where Astarion always checks his nails when he is trying to just dominate people. He dismisses them with a head turn, usually to the left. He does this to put people in their place, to make them acutely aware that he’s in control.

Is There Anything You Can Share There? He Loves Wool And Socks Or Something.
Is There Anything You Can Share There? He Loves Wool And Socks Or Something.

Actually, one thing I can tell you—the base pose that he has, which is this very upward movement, arms open—that was something that we experimented with. That was actually a combination of myself and Josh Weeden, who’s one of the directors on the game. We came up with that together. They wanted a unique base pose. The footing is different from everybody else’s. But then I added this sort of open arms up and his head up, looking down his nose at everybody.

So the reason that his head stands like this is a psychological thing. He thinks everybody else is beneath him, so he looks down his nose, which is why the head is slightly angular. That is a very particular habitual choice that we made to inform more about the character. Literally, I look down my nose, and that’s why his stance is like that.

I think there are a couple of other characters that have unique base poses, but most have the same base pose. He’s one of the unique ones.

Is There Anything You Can Share There? He Loves Wool And Socks Or Something.

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2 months ago

How I hate Tav/Dark Urge's lines after the ritual. Several rails to choose from, on which they offer you to ride: "I want your body / I want to use you to become a vampire," or creating conflict out of nowhere. Is this an RPG? For heaven's sake, he called you "pet" before. I can definitely feel how I'm being manipulated, but the manipulator turns out to be the writer themself, making sure I don't stray from the path they've set.


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2 months ago

I got curious about how Astarion looks in moments when the in-game camera doesn’t show him. And when I finally saw it, I froze, unable to stop recording… I nearly melted from tenderness as I looked at his dear, satisfied face. Oh, my Lord…


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2 months ago

"I HATE Ascended Astarion..."

"I HATE Ascended Astarion..."

(People are so afraid to face the truth that they came up with a headcanon about losing his soul, which was completely debunked by the developers.)


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3 months ago

Regarding the claim that the lore of vampire brides is supposedly outdated because it’s based on Van Richten's Guide to Vampires, published in 1991, and that this lore isn’t mentioned in the current edition of DnD 5e, specifically in the 2021 edition of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft:

First of all, vampire brides are also mentioned in Van Richten’s Monster Hunter’s Compendium from 1999.

Regarding The Claim That The Lore Of Vampire Brides Is Supposedly Outdated Because It’s Based On Van
Regarding The Claim That The Lore Of Vampire Brides Is Supposedly Outdated Because It’s Based On Van

But most importantly, the 2021 edition of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft directly references Van Richten's Guide to Vampires.

Regarding The Claim That The Lore Of Vampire Brides Is Supposedly Outdated Because It’s Based On Van
Regarding The Claim That The Lore Of Vampire Brides Is Supposedly Outdated Because It’s Based On Van

So…

If we disregard the lore of Ravenloft (even though the game clearly alludes to it) and focus solely on the game itself:

Player: How does someone become a vampire, exactly? Astarion: It's simple. Just find a vampire that will drink your blood and turn you into a vampire spawn: their obedient puppet. In theory, the next step is to drink their blood. Once you've done that, you're free and a true vampire. Player: 'In theory'? Astarion: People think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake. It's not. The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts. So why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor?

Player: So they bite you, you bite them? Astarion: Yes and no. The problem is once you're a vampire spawn, they completely control you. They have to allow you to bite them. And why would they do that? Vampires are power-hungry creatures. They won't lose a servant to create a competitor. Trust me. It doesn't happen.

Regarding The Claim That The Lore Of Vampire Brides Is Supposedly Outdated Because It’s Based On Van

Once AA gives Tav his blood, they can no longer be considered a spawn—according to the lore, they become a true vampire. This is confirmed both by in-game dialogues and the D&D 5E lore on which the game is based.

Monster Manual (D&D 5), 2014
Monster Manual (D&D 5), 2024

Astarion: Nearly two hundred years and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there. I had to punch a hole in the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt. Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting. From that day on I was his. Until today. Moreover, we never see AA mentally controlling Tav the way Cazador controlled his spawns—which would be undeniable proof of their status as a spawn. The game only presents a dialogue about freedom, which does not contradict the concept of Tav as a bride but also does not confirm any magical control that could prove otherwise.

So if you believe that the Bride Theory is unfounded and that the process of becoming a vampire bride doesn’t align with what is shown in the game, then consider this: it has even less in common with the process of becoming a spawn. The turning into a spawn is described in detail in the game, and clearly not without reason—and Tav's/Dark Urge's turning is not just different in some aspects, it has absolutely no similarities with it.

No matter which lore you take, Tav is not a spawn.

Maybe I should make a post with counterarguments to all the most common arguments against the Bride Theory.


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3 months ago

«Vampires differ in their motivations when creating offspring. Some fledglings do it accidentally, not yet understanding the consequences of killing a foe. Others do it to create slaves for themselves. Some few seem to need contact with members of their own kind and create companions. This latter group is more likely to become the sentimental "parents" described above and is hence most likely to meet destruction at the hands of their offspring.»

«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not

«When a vampire is destroyed, all semblance of control over its offspring immediately vanishes. Most offspring will immediately go about their own business. I have heard of some rare creatures who have sought the destroyers of their creator and wreaked vengeance on them. I find this somewhat hard to believe because it implies a sense of loyalty, even love of a kind, between vampires. Still, stranger things have proved to be true.»

«An especially rare and unique relationship between vampires is in that of the "Bride" or "Groom." Actually, considering that the fact all vampires were once mortal, it is almost surprising that this phenomenon is not more prevalent. No matter what changes undeath has wrought, some vestiges of mortal thoughts and aspirations still survive, l am sure. Eternity can weigh heavily on the spirit-even the spirit of a vampire. Of all the burdens of immortality, perhaps the greatest is loneliness. To whom can a vampire bare its soul and admit its fears? With whom can the vampire vent some of the intense sensuality that seems to pervade its breed? From whom can it receive consolation for the past, comfort for the present, and hope for the future? An eternity of solitude can be an eternity of pain.»

Astarion: I did miss you, you know. There is a sense of loneliness that comes with power. We did share a wonderful adventure, you and I. A pity to see it end, in some ways. But we have great new lives stretching out before us. And great new adventures to go on. I will never forget the time we spent together, though. And I know you'll never forget me.

«It is no wonder, then, that vampires sometimes long for a special companion. Fortunately for these tortured souls--and unfortunately for their mortal victims-vampires are capable of creating such companions. These special minions, if such a term truly applies, are known as "Brides" and "Grooms." These terms may seem inappropriate, carrying with them as they do the emotional "baggage" of love and marriage. While marriage is not an issue, a form of love, or at least of emotional bonding, is involved, so the terms are not as inappropriate as they may seem at first.» Player: You made me your spawn... What is going to happen to me? Astarion: Spawn is an ugly word. I really do prefer consort.

«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not

«Creating a bride or groom, although seemingly a simple process, requires an exhausting exercise of much power by the creating vampire. For this reason, only vampires of advanced age and capability can even assay this procedure. A bride or groom can be created only by a vampire of age category Ancient or greater, and not even all of those are capable of doing so.»

Gale: So, Astarion. I hear your relationship has taken on a new aspect recently... Astarion: My life has taken on a new aspect. It is only natural that my relationships change as well. As the Vampire Ascendant, I can grant my lover immortality, and bind them to me forever. Raphael: In full, the contract states that Cazador will be granted knowledge of an infernal ritual so vile it has never been performed. The Rite of Profane Ascension. It promises to be a marvellous ceremony. Very elaborate, incredibly ancient, and entirely diabolical. If he completes the rite, he will become a new kind of being - the Vampire Ascendant. All the strengths of his vampiric form will be amplified, and alongside them he will enjoy the luxuries of the living. The arousals and appetites of man will return to him, and unlike Astarion, he will have no need of a parasite to protect him from the sun.

«The first step requires that the vampire find an appropriate mortal to be the bride. […] Usually this problem solves itself. Very rare is the vampire who decides in isolation, "I will make a bride," and then seeks out a mortal to fill the bill. In the vast majority of cases, the process occurs in the reverse order. The vampire is drawn emotionally to a mortal and decides, because of the strength of this emotion, to make her his bride. The nature of this emotion can vary widely. It may simply be hormonal lust (after all, the physiological systems related to such effects in mortals are still present, and sometimes still functional, in vampires). It may be an obsession dating from the days before the vampire became what he now is, as is the case with Strahd von Zarovich's obsession with women who resemble his lost Tatyana.»

Astarion: Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit.

«In these cases, the vampire creates its bride in cold blood, for the sole purpose of satisfying its own desires. Sometimes, however, the emotion may be close to what mortals classify as love.

The happiness of the vampire becomes tied up with the prospective bride, and its well-being depends on hers.»

Astarion: You are my consort, and I will see you living the very best life. Even if you don't appreciate it. Astarion: I don't intend to die, if you don't. I truly believe we can best the brain, united like this.

«In these cases, the vampire might actually believe it is bestowing a gift when it turns the mortal into its bride— the gift of freedom from aging and death.»

Player: Well, I suppose it cannot be undone now. Astarion: You are stronger now. Better. You will thank me one day, I am sure.

Player: I hoped you'd learn to love me. Astarion: Who's to say I don't? I'm willing to share all of this with you. What's that if not love?

Player: I wanted a good time, that's all. Astarion: What do you mean? Think of the things I can offer you! You're not going to say no to that, surely?

Player: Then stop joking around and let's sleep together. Astarion: You've earned it. But don't you want more - don't you want eternity? One more bite is all it would take?

«To actually create the bride, the vampire bestows what is known as the "Dark Kiss". It samples the blood of its mortal paramour-once, twice, thrice draining her almost to the point of death.»

«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not
«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not
«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not

«This process causes the subject no pain; in fact, it has been described as the most euphoric, ecstatic experience, in comparison to which all other pleasures fade into insignificance.»

Astarion: Tonight, I shall drink every drop of your blood. Own your body, kill your mind. It will only hurt a bit, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain.

Astarion: I remember how it hurt when I turned to a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless, the grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last.

«Just as the subject is about to slip into the terminal coma from which there is no awakening, the vampire opens a gash in its own flesh-often in its throat, wrist, or chest (being near the heart)-and holds the subject's mouth to the wound.»

Player: What exactly happened? Astarion: You were drained dry, and at the height of your delirium, I granted you one drop of my own blood.

Player: Does this mean I won't be able to walk in the sun if my tadpole is removed? Astarion: Don't you worry. You have supped of my blood. It will be no trouble to extend a fragment of my protection to you. Player: Will you still drink my blood? Astarion: Of course I will, and you'll drink mine. I can't wait to taste your lips after you've tasted me.

Player: How does someone become a vampire, exactly? Astarion: It's simple. Just find a vampire that will drink your blood and turn you into a vampire spawn: their obedient puppet. In theory, the next step is to drink their blood. Once you've done that, you're free and a true vampire. Player: 'In theory'? Astarion: People think the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake. It's not. The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They're scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts. So why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor? Player: So they bite you, you bite them? Astarion: Yes and no. The problem is once you're a vampire spawn, they completely control you. They have to allow you to bite them. And why would they do that? Vampires are power-hungry creatures. They won't lose a servant to create a competitor. Trust me. It doesn't happen.

«It is at this point that the creator-vampire's strength is most sorely tested. He is weakened by his own blood loss, and also by his own rapture as the "victim" of a dark kiss. Overcoming the sudden loss of strength and the inclinations of lust, the vampire must pull her away from its own wound, hopefully without harming her, before she has overfed. Should the subject be allowed to feed for too long (more than 2 rounds), she is driven totally and incurably insane, and will die in agony within 24 hours.

The first moment that the bride realizes the ugly truth about her new nature can be highly traumatic, unless her creator takes steps to ease her acceptance.»

Player: I'm already a Slayer and a squid - this is minor in comparison. Astarion: Terrifying and brilliant. I knew you'd take it in your stride.

«Any vampire can have only one bride or groom at a time. A vampire is physically incapable of creating another bride or groom while it has a companion already bound to it in this relationship. If the vampire wishes to create another bride or groom, it must either destroy its current bride or groom or follow the ritual described later to dissolve the bond between them.»

Minthara: Would you ever consider sharing the gift of immortality with me, Astarion? Astarion: I think not. That is for me and my darling to share. Minthara: If they have prevented your eyes and fangs from wandering to other necks, it must be a special bond indeed.

«Although there are some folk tales that describe the bride of a vampire as its slave, in much the same way that offspring are slaves, a bride is free-willed from the moment of her creation. The creator vampire does have great influence over the bride, however, although this control is totally nonmagical.

Newly created brides are generally ignorant of their own capabilities. If in life they heard folk tales and myths about vampires, they might have some vague conception, but often these tales are totally wrong. The bride is effectively dependent—totally dependent—on her creator to learn how to survive as a vampire. This obviously gives the creator great power over the bride.

By lying to her or bending the truth, he can convince her that she must obey his every order or suffer horrible consequences.»

Player: Spawn? I want to be a true vampire. Astarion: And you will! All in good time. But we mustn't rush these things. You may need time to adjust.

Player: And you promise you'll make me a full vampire soon? Astarion: My darling, of course! I want nothing more. Node Context: overly sincere - he doesn't really mean it Player: Cazador could compel you - can you compel me? Astarion: Why would I need to? You're going to be wonderfully obedient.

«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not

Player: I think we should break up. Astarion: Hahaha! Don't be stupid, darling. You're mine, remember? The tadpole is gone, which means your future is mine to decide. NodeContext: Genuine laugh - the player can't get away from him. Not even if they want to. «She saw me not as a protector, but as a rival, as a slave master. And she dedicated herself to freeing herself from my yoke.»

Aurelia: The bond's hold. He owns us. We have no choice, we must obey. Get out of here, Astarion, before… NodeContext: Last phrase is the moment Cazador takes control of them. They are giving Astation a final warning to run away. NodeContext: vampires were compelled by cazador to attack the player Astarion: He has no power over me anymore. Godey: You think you're free? Then let's tighten your chain. Narrator: All that you've seen since the crash - all the wonders and horrors - suddenly seem inconsequential. Only one thing matters. Cazador - your master, your lord, your creator. His will tightens around you once again, and it is as if you never escaped him. Astarion: You have become your own master. Deny him.Narrator: And then it is inside you, clogging your nostrils and throat with a sickening sweetness. You cannot fight back. You cannot reject it.

Narrator: Cazador's presence rises in your mind, a towering red wave that seems capable of drowning the world. Narrator:  And then it is inside you, clogging your nostrils and throat with a sickening sweetness. You cannot fight back. You cannot reject it. Narrator: And it shatters your will entirely, smashing your defences and leaving you broken and gasping for air. You cannot deny him.

«Vampires Differ In Their Motivations When Creating Offspring. Some Fledglings Do It Accidentally, Not

«With time, and through experimentation, the bride might find out the true level of control her creator has over her—that is, none. She is still in a very inferior position, of course, because she is a Fledgling and her creator is at least an Ancient.»

Player: I'm sorry I kind of disappeared. I didn't mean to leave you like that. Astarion: Oh my dear, you didn't leave me - I let you go. If I'd wanted you to stay I only had to say the word and you would have been back by my side. But I'm not some controlling monster. I wanted to give you space to see what else is out there, make your own mistakes, and return to me ready to fully appreciate our life together. Anyway, I have had more than enough to keep me busy while you were off gallivanting in another plane.

«Some creator vampires—particularly those who created the bride out of love—will be totally honest with their creation, depending on loyalty, friendship, and even reciprocated love to stop the bride from trying to bring about their destruction. This is probably the most beneficial situation for both vampires, because two creatures cooperating are much more effective than two creatures involved in machinations against each other. A vampire and bride who truly love and trust each other make a team that is exceptionally difficult to defeat!»

Astarion: I may have power, but it would be nothing without you. You complete me.  And together, we are unstoppable. So Heavens help the fool that tries to get in our way. Player: None would dare, my love. Astarion: I almost wish they would. It's been some time since we've seen a real challenge.

Source: Van Richten's Guide to Vampires. TSR, 1991.

Chapters:

XI: Relationships Between Vampires: Progenitor and Offspring. XII: Relationships Between Vampires: Vampire Brides and Grooms. P.S.: A Reddit user shared an Easter egg referencing the Ravenloft lore and Brides in the game, which I hadn't seen before. I'll add it as an addition to the post:

[An excerpt from The True and Impossible Adventures of Tenebrux Morrow, a pulp serial following the 'real-life' exploits of an interplanar ship's captain. The real Captain Morrow is known never to have left her native Waterdeep and emerges from her rooms at the Yawning Portal only to exchange scrawled manuscripts for fresh meals and ink.] Much is made of Barovia's gloomy climate. It is said the mists there confuse the mind and torment the soul, binding travellers in a grip of such despair that escape is impossible to contemplate. As the New Bride parted that heavy fog, I confess that I felt no such malaise beyond the onset of a rather stuffy nose. The same, I fear, could not be said of my crew. Among those who had not already cast themselves overboard, the gibbering and weeping became such that I was forced to bind them to the mast entire, and navigate my fair Bride alone. I went in search of that plane's dark master, having been informed that even my ship could not hope to breach the planar boundaries without permission. And so I probed the mists, defiant at the helm and belting out a lively shanty of my own composition The invitation did not long go unanswered. He appeared like the passing of a shadow overhead, sudden and terrifying. Or certainly, that was his intention - but once the mutual assurances of destruction were dispensed with, we found in one another kindred spirits, and fell to conversing in earnest. At length, a price for my passage was agreed. Of that price, and that man, I will say only this: he is surprisingly excellent company, given the stories - and the teeth do not get in the way nearly so much as one would think.


Tags
3 months ago
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:
I Wish Tav Had Dialogue Options At This Moment Like:

I wish Tav had dialogue options at this moment like:

I love you.

I trust you.

Tav is literally going to die in a couple of minutes. I want Tav to have the chance to say something before Astarion starts turning them.

Well, in any case, he knows that… Astarion: You are so beautiful... And you will be beautiful forever. Thank you for trusting me.


Tags
3 months ago

Ascended Astarion in fanon: A deranged psychopath, Cazador 2.0, who locks Tav/Dark Urge in the basement and tortures them from time to time, perpetuating the cycle of abuse. The ✌️ cycle of abuse ✌️ in canon:

Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement
Ascended Astarion In Fanon: A Deranged Psychopath, Cazador 2.0, Who Locks Tav/Dark Urge In The Basement

Tags
4 months ago

Lately, I often come across the opinion that Ascended Astarion’s line, “I can't believe you let me do that. Killing all those people,” supposedly indicates that he recognizes the immorality of his actions and even condemns Tav/Dark Urge for allowing him to do it. Allegedly, he feels guilty and regrets not being “saved.”

This opinion is obviously influenced by the dialogues in the spawn ending, where Astarion thanks Tav for talking him out of performing the ritual. However, it’s important to pay attention to the full content of his line in the Ascended ending:

Astarion: I can't believe you let me do that. Killing all those people. A pleasant surprise.

Astarion does not express regret or condemnation, but rather surprise and pleasure that Tav went to such a serious crime for him.

This is followed by claims that he is lying or pretending, while deep down he feels guilt and disappointment. However, such conclusions merely show how objective facts are interpreted and distorted to align with one’s own beliefs.

Yes, Astarion fully understands that his actions are immoral, but this awareness does not imply disappointment in the ritual or Tav. On the contrary. He simply calls things as they are. He is honest with himself and with Tav/Dark Urge.

Moreover, it’s important to consider the context in which this phrase is spoken. It is clearly addressed to the player, who throughout the game made mostly morally good decisions, and then unexpectedly committed a radically evil act, surprising Astarion. If you played as a consistently evil character throughout the game, this line may seem illogical, strange, and devoid of meaning — yet another example of questionable RPG design and storytelling methods used by Welch.

To be honest, some people go to absurd lengths in their interpretations to present AA’s ending as a "bad" one for him.


Tags
4 months ago
«The First Stage Is Usually Characterized By The Creature Feeling A Dark Joy In Its New Powers. It Is

«The first stage is usually characterized by the creature feeling a dark joy in its new powers. It is overwhelmed by the sense of power engendered by its strength and its supernatural resilience. Newly-formed vampires will often assume animal form for the pure and simple-minded joy of flitting as a bat over the forests of the night or running, seeming tireless, with a pack of wolves.» — Van Richten's Guide to Vampires, TSR, 1991.


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5 months ago
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

I have always perceived the act of kneeling in the scene where Tav undergoes the transformation into a spawn not merely as an act of submission, but as a kind of oath-taking ceremony. In D&D lore, vampires possess a lawful evil alignment, which is inseparable from strict principles of hierarchy. Astarion calls Tav his consort, emphasizing not only his power and status but also Tav's crucial role in his plans. This also symbolizes their union within the framework of vampiric hierarchy and the new life that will begin after Tav's transformation.

Consort is a title traditionally used to refer to the spouse of a monarch. In the context of a royal family, a consort does not hold the rights of a ruler but serves as an important figure in public and state affairs.

It is particularly noteworthy that it is right after the night of the turning that Astarion first calls Tav his consort, which I personally cannot see as mere coincidence unless he intentionally imbued the event with ritualistic meaning. Such wording is undoubtedly steeped in an aura of regal solemnity, which is especially remarkable for Astarion, given his yearning for grandeur and liberation from his former subordinate position.

When Tav knelt before Astarion, I was reminded of the painting «The Coronation of Napoleon» by the French artist Jacques-Louis David. The painting depicts the moment when Napoleon Bonaparte crowns his wife Josephine during the ceremony held in 1804 at Notre-Dame de Paris. Napoleon stands on an elevated platform in his imperial attire, including a luxurious cloak trimmed with ermine, as he places the crown on Josephine's head himself.

Meanwhile, in the developer's note to the animation tag for this scene in the game, it says: «Tav kneels before Astarion. Astarion stands proud before the Player. He is powerful. He is free.»

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

I have no doubt that Astarion was indeed imbuing this moment with a special ritualistic meaning. He wants Tav to acknowledge his supremacy by kneeling before him, as if it were an oath-taking ceremony. This is not just an act of dominance but a kind of ritual with profound cultural and historical undertones.

Undoubtedly, this scene is filled with clear eroticism, which perfectly aligns with Astarion's love for decadence and theatrics. I find this quite amusing, and I'm sure Astarion also enjoyed playing with this subtext, giving the moment a particular sexual tension and sharpness. All of this comes together in a quirky pattern, creating an exceptionally rich scene where cultural and erotic motifs intertwine.

Kneeling is a gesture that carries a variety of meanings depending on the cultural, historical, and social context. It is commonly associated with expressions of respect, submission, devotion, or acknowledgment. In a religious context, kneeling symbolizes reverence before a higher power, humility, or repentance. For example, in Christianity, people kneel before an altar or during prayer. In some religions, the gesture signifies a plea for help, mercy, or forgiveness. In a monarchical context, kneeling has been used as part of rituals such as knighting ceremonies or being admitted into the circle of royal privileges. In the feudal context of the Middle Ages, vassals knelt before their liege lord as a symbol of loyalty and submission. This act was often accompanied by kissing the hand or a symbol of authority (such as a sword or crown). In a romantic context, kneeling is a gesture symbolizing a marriage proposal, as well as an expression of respect, admiration, and love.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

For myself, I highlight the following:

Acknowledgment of sovereignty — kneeling before a monarch symbolizes submission to the authority of the crown and recognition of its legitimacy.

Acceptance into the circle of royal privileges — in this context, the act can be interpreted as a ritual of initiation, where kneeling marks entry into an exclusive circle, granting access to the advantages and status associated with monarchy.

Astarion perceives himself and Tav as something superior to all other beings, stemming from the fact that Tav becomes a vampire. He believes that the transformation of Tav into a vampire grants them the opportunity to become "something more," elevating them to a new level. This transformation not only makes Tav a vampire but also symbolizes their entry into a special, elite category of beings who possess power and authority beyond the reach of ordinary mortals or other creatures. For Astarion, as a vampire, this means that Tav can now share in his greatness.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

Astarion: You are stronger now. Better. You will thank me one day, I am sure. Astarion: You will be stronger, swifter, sharper, but you won't be different. You were already perfect before. It's hard to improve.

An expression of respect and devotion — such a gesture underscores reverence for the monarch as a divine or political symbol.

Kneeling as an act of humiliation:

In Astarion's thoughts, one can discern that he views Tav’s decision to stay with him and become his spawn as something indicative of degradation, perhaps even moral decline.

When Tav agrees to become Astarion’s spawn, it can be interpreted as a conscious act of self-sacrifice, where they relinquish equality in the relationship and willingly submit to him. This step symbolizes the rejection of personal autonomy and the acceptance of absolute dependence. Tav entrusts their life entirely into his hands. Astarion: You have given me everything. Thank you.

Astarion likely perceives such a decision as a form of "degradation," believing that a normal person, from his perspective, would not make such a choice. He tries to understand why Tav would do this and concludes that Tav derives a certain satisfaction from such a dynamic, perhaps even having an inclination toward it. Narrator: But perhaps you wish to degrade yourself. And he knows it.

This explains his surprise when Tav, contrary to his expectations, asks for tenderness. It’s simply not what he anticipates. His reaction reveals confusion and forces him to reassess Tav’s motives, as such a request goes beyond the scenario he had envisioned.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

Astarion: So, tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet? Player: I want you. I want your body. Astarion: You've earned it. But don't you want more - don't you want eternity? One more bite is all it would take. As for Welch's remark that Astarion "won’t respect you," this narrative only applies to the phrase "I want your body," which itself is not required in the game. This line adds an interpretative layer but is not central to all the possible interactions between Tav and Ascended Astarion.

Baudelaire Welch: He's literally looking down on you because you are someone in that situation who believes you deserve sex as a reward. He will give it to you, but he won't respect you.

In essence, the entire narrative about the sexualization parallels the scene with Araj in Act 2, where the player asks for sex as a reward for defending Astarion before Araj or helping with Yurgir's murder. And although Welch desperately tried to impose this motif in the Ascended route, limiting roleplay, it is not the only one, and far from the most obvious. There are other reasons to help Astarion with the ritual, and even he is aware of them:

Astarion: Of course I understand love. All too well. The gravest crimes committed in this world are committed for love. A hunger crueller than bloodlust.

Many also overlook that Tav's consent to become his spawn is seen by Astarion as an expression of exceptional trust and devotion. His gratitude the following morning confirms this: he sincerely expresses appreciation for the trust shown in the very first phrase he addresses to Tav. Astarion: You are so beautiful... And you will be beautiful forever. Thank you for trusting me. Moreover, trust becomes the leitmotif of his dialogues afterwards, especially when their relationship with Tav is questioned or criticized by their companions. Each time, he emphasizes that their relationship is built on this foundation:

Karlach: You know, Astarion, I'm not sure I can trust you anymore. You're… different. A bit scary, to be honest. Astarion: I have one person who trusts me completely. That's enough for me. Lae'zel: You have shared your new power with your lover, Astarion. I'm surprised - I expected you to turn your back once you got what you wanted. Astarion: Quite the opposite - I need someone I can trust. And now I know they'll never betray me.

Unfortunately, in the kiss scenes of Patch 6, the original context was lost, and the focus shifted to themes of fear and humiliation that were not present in the original dynamic with Ascended Astarion. Considering that the kiss scenes were based on the scene of Tav’s transformation into a spawn, which is almost obvious, their emotional tone was distorted. For example, initially, Tav knelt entirely of their own free will, which emphasized the intentional and voluntary nature of their decision. In the kiss scenes, on the contrary, Tav is shown kneeling out of fear, the source of which remains unclear. Throughout the game, it is never shown what consequences Tav could fear for refusing to do so. In the transformation scene, Tav can refuse and not face any frightening consequences.

It also seems illogical when Tav is frightened when Astarion grabs them by the throat. This contradicts the transformation scene, where Tav themself initiated it, asking Astarion to hurt them and even tilting their head back, exposing their neck.

Astarion: It will only hurt a bit, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain. Player: Oh, come on. Let it hurt.

In the kiss scenes, however, this dynamic, based on mutual consent, was changed to an act of violence. This further exacerbates the inconsistency, especially considering that in the original script of this scene, it was noted that both Tav and Astarion derive pleasure from what is happening.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

In dialogues, Ascended Astarion also demonstrated a willingness to be tender with Tav when Tav expressed it through words. He was not solely focused on rough dominance, as was attempted to be imposed in Patch 6. This change is likely an attempt by Larian to please the audience who, without going through the Ascended route and without understanding its nuances, actively promotes the narrative of the collective majority about the cycle of abuse.

Yes, the facial expressions in the kiss animations were changed due to fan requests for the Ascended route, but the aftertaste and consequences of these changes remain.

Some players still argue that facial expressions in role-playing games should be imposed "for the sake of the great narrative," while others use game conventions, such as cyclicality of animations, to demand the return of scared expressions. However, bringing back this dynamic would undermine the story and the character that fans of Ascended Astarion have known and loved for six months after the game's release.

In my opinion, to expand the role-playing experience, it would be much more useful not to return the scared expressions as an option, but to add the possibility for the lord to use more standard kisses, similar to those in Patch 5.

It is unclear why many are convinced that the vampire lord is incapable of tender kisses with Tav when his love scene demonstrated just this tenderness, and the moment with the kiss on the hand is one of the most refined and delicate romantic episodes. In particular, the kiss on the hand, which happens after the "be gentle" option is chosen, not only emphasizes Astarion's attention to Tav's desires and his willingness to listen, but also contradicts the notion of his exclusively dominant and cold nature.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

If Astarion is capable of expressing such tenderness in intimacy, why is it excluded that the same softness could be maintained in his kisses?

The kiss in Patch 6 would only make sense if, upon choosing the "be gentle… if you can" option, Astarion ignored Tav's request, and his actions were no different from those in the "let it hurt" option.

I would also like to draw attention to the sharp contrast in Tav's facial expressions in the bite scenes, written by different writers. In Act 1, when Astarion was written only by Stephen Rooney, Tav's facial expression shows ecstasy, and this same expression is repeated in the lord's love scene, which, according to Welch, they did not write.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

However, in the transformation scene, which, as Welch confirms, was written with their involvement, Tav's facial expression is noticeably different.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

It’s not fear, like in the kisses from Patch 6, but the expression conveys a "problematic/kinky" mood — a term that Welch themselves used to describe this scene. This looks particularly strange in the dialogue where Tav explicitly asks to be hurt:

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

Astarion: Shall we have one last night together before you join me in immortality? One for the road, so to speak. Player: We shall not. I just need you to bite me. Astarion: Impatient are we? Well who am I to deny you?

This suggests that Welch’s views on "kinks" are at least debatable, and this influences how they are portrayed in the game. For example, Welch sees the transformation into a spawn as an "irreversible sex-pact/kink/form of gratification," but Tav's reaction in this scene is somewhat more uneasy than in previous episodes involving similar actions.

Both scenes are consensual, but they have a different tone simply because one of the writers condemned the player for "kinks," while the other did not.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

In the cinematic context for the transformation scene, the following was stated: "You are naked and vulnerable before him." This feeling, it seems to me, is what the animators tried to convey and embody, capturing the intimacy of the moment. However, with the release of Patch 6, this message became distorted, turning into something entirely different — crude and devoid of the original subtle undertones.

In this context, I believe that the kisses from Patch 7 appear much more consistent compared to the facial expressions in Patch 6.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

Especially when considering the following points:

Astarion grabs Tav by the neck solely at the player's initiative, and the dialogue clearly implies that Tav wants this.

Tav has previously reacted with obvious pleasure to similar actions by Astarion in other scenes.

I genuinely do not understand why Baudelaire Welch's contribution should be considered more significant, given that they joined the project during the later stages of the game's development. Especially when you consider that the character was originally created by another writer, who laid the foundation for his personality, story, and key traits. Prioritizing late additions that distort the original concept seems unfair and disrespectful to Astarion's creator and his vision.

At this point, I would like there to be an option in the game to kiss Astarion's hand. A hand kiss is also a symbolic gesture that conveys respect, devotion, submission, and acknowledgment of power or authority. I find this incredibly romantic, and I truly miss it. It would further emphasize the symbolism of this route.

I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into
I Have Always Perceived The Act Of Kneeling In The Scene Where Tav Undergoes The Transformation Into

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