Astarion - Blog Posts

Umm, hello! First post on Tumblr:)

Posting some older art from my bg3 brain rot phase

Long story short I dressed up as Astarion for Halloween in school this year and that led to me imagining him in the very classes that I had to outlive<3

*ahem* Clown inside and outside

I made.... Something :P

Artwork for challenge 3 emojis and 7 artists from telegram... Emojis was: 🎉🤡🩸

I made.... Something :P

Artwork for challenge 3 emojis and 7 artists from telegram... Emojis was: 🎉🤡🩸

Feeding vampire babyboys <3

save a horse, ride a cowboy

yeah, that's definitely them

Today I realized that this is exactly how I imagine Karlach and Astarion at dinner. Karlach enjoys her meal, while Astarion sits bored beside her, waiting for a kiss (and then possibly a bite 🩸)

swap

voice actors!!

One of the latest works

My Tavs Gotta Gun!

I had a shower thought, basically, does Baulders Gate have guns?!? Turns out not really??? Here's Astarion living under a rock bc... ✨Cazador✨ and learning what guns are.

You sit quietly under the dim firelight at camp, polishing your firearm. The metal shines and you grin feeling accomplished.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of a particular vampire sitting down next to you.

"Whats that you have darling?" a familiar voice questions.

"uh, my gun? I was cleaning off all the residue" you respond holding it up for him to see.

"I- yes of course your gun needs to be cleaned because you need to do that for the thing for when you..." he trails, trying to mask the fact he is clueless. It doesn't work in the slightest as you pick up very quickly that hes never seen a gun.

"it's kind of like a really fancy compact uh crossbow? that's the closest thing I can think of... It's a weapon Star. It's filled with these metal pellets and then- hold on." you ramble as you realize it's probably best you show him.

You stand, the warmth of the fire leaving you making you shudder slightly. You motion for him to follow as you search around the camp area for a clear shot that wouldn't cause any damage. You point at a nearby tree and make sure he is stood behind you.

"you just push on this trigger part and-" The loud resounding shot echoes through the camp. Astarion quickly covers his ears startled slightly.

"Good god well it's not a very stealthy weapon that's for sure." he shouts glaring slightly. "it didn't even do anything but hurt my ears I don't see anything." he pouts.

You smile and motion him to follow as you skip over to the tree.

"oh my." you hear Astarion mumble as you point at the hole that's been splintered into the tree, the metal bullet glinting wedged inside. He kind of looked like a child, with wonder in his eyes as he looked back at the gun in your hand, now knowing how powerful it was.

"Now picture it as a person or an animal. Much more squishy, easier to go through" you tell him. He smirks.

"you're just full of tricks aren't you darling, I can't believe I've never seen this one, or should I be glad you've never used such a thing against me." he raises a brow and you just chuckle.

"well if you like this trick so much maybe I'll teach you how to use it one day." you smile.

"Now that does sound entertaining..."

Define Alive

As you prepare to rest your mind is preoccupied with questions for your vampire companion. Unable to push the thoughts away you approach his tent.

“Astarion?” You ask softly peering inside.

“Yes my sweet?” his voice replies from inside.

A rustling sound follows as he then appears in front of you.

“Can I ask you a question?” the words fall from your mouth

“Anything darling” You fear that might have been a mistake

"i guess now that I think about it its less of a question and more of an observation... you hate us, or maybe it's envy? of the living I mean. Do you wish you were still alive? That you were never immortal?"

He pauses not expecting your question slightly caught off guard. "I- I- well one loaded question there my love... I- pity you all. You must worry about the fact you'll one day be old and decay, you all can die from disease your so fragile and weak you living people..." he pauses, a long pause as you look at him expecting more. You haven't gotten the answer you wanted yet. he knows you won't leave until you do "although I guess if I had to say one nice thing. I envy the fact that your warm, that I can hear your heartbeat... it's calm... you living people are so careless and light for people who are so fragile." he trails off to himself until he realizes what he's doing "but I never wish I was still alive god no I would have been dead two hundred years ago and no one would be able to bask in my beauty!" he adds seemingly to dismiss the rest of his words. “Yes I suppose we can't have that” you chuckle "then I would've never met you the tragedy. Although sometimes I think what really defines being alive... I mean I think you're pretty alive to me" you muse

He scoffs giving you a look “I think the whole point of vampires is we're dead love. or undead if you want to be so technical about it”

“No, I mean think about it, what is making you not alive right now? You don't have a beating heart? Trees and plants live and they don't have organs or bacteria, diseases they're alive. The fact you don't can't eat? Plants eat sunlight and they don't even eat it. A Lot of animals don't have mouths too like worms. They're still alive.”

"Sweetheart while the philosophical thought is nice I-" He starts to speak but you cut him off again lost in your own ramble. He decides to indulge

“The point is Star… I think the fact that you're standing here having you're own thoughts walking around talking to me, that's enough especially with magic … who's to tell you if you're alive or dead you are both and it's ok. You're both!”

You look at him. He looks at you curiously thumbing over the odd thoughts you just piled into his mind. after a prolonged silence, he speaks

"you know... maybe you're right. I've been dead in the ground for far too long. I think it's time I start living again..." he finishes putting his arms around you.

It doesn't matter that his skin is not warm or that you can't feel a beating heart, you love him, he is yours you are his. Everything is ok.

(This is a rewrite for a fic I have on AO3 That I thought I should share so I have slight diversity in my evil men hyperfixation lol.)

i just realized i shouldve sent the pictures of the prints i mentioned in my last post

thank you to the pretty lady with the nice dress who made them you were very nice and thank you for telling me about the way you draw hands

I love being delusional because I went to my first con yesterday and got a bunch of shit and I was just yknow walkin around and A CERTAIN MOTHERFUCKER catches my eye so I do a double take to make sure it was him and then I dropped $25 on an original artwork of Astarion

Love it

before the fall little headcanon that Astarion is a Sun Elf and his parents have a portrait of him framed but closeted away so they don't weep when they see it. big golden boy energy.

patreon | prints

Gale can produce a picture perfect hologram of Mystra’s head, there’s no reason at some point he wouldn’t be able to show Astarion what he looks like while they chill in camp

I dressed my team very appropriately, yes

Have not drawn in almost a year (I've been feeling sad). And when I finally do sit my ass down to draw something with effort, I draw Astarion on aluminum foil with a dry pen. Omfg-

I've never played Baulder's Gate, I only know of it through edits and out of context videos. And this man has just enraptured my brain like it's a stress toy.

I want to play it though, I've played D&D before with friends irl and it's the same thing.

Aluminum Astarion

(Question for the people who know more than me, would Astarion be able to his reflection in water or aluminum? Or is it just, no reflection on any surface. I don't know how Vampire or Vampire Spawns work in D&D, I've only played homebrew with friends. If it's the same way Vampire's in general work; no reflection cause mirror was made out of silver and back in the day people thought silver was holly/blessed)

Headcannon: Astarion sunbathed (and inevitably got a sunburn) immediately after he realized he’s safe in the sun. He wore his sunburn proudly because after 200 years of darkness, he couldn’t be bothered to stay out of the light.

Something about Astarion stepping away from his past and letting it all burn is extremely cathartic

To my defense, I really tried to reduce the amount of screenshots, but I absolutely need you to see all of these! The point will follow.

Just look at this soft boy! I can't! (๑>◡<๑)💕

Ahem. Now to the point… 👉🏻👈🏻

I keep thinking about these early camp scenes with Astarion – and I still can’t get over how much warmth he already shows from the very beginning.

I don’t know how anyone can call this man weak when he’s endured such horrors and came out deeply scarred, but never broken. For two centuries, Cazador did everything in his power to crush him – and failed.

And then, on the very first night, just after he escaped (with the help of the Nautilouid, of course), Astarion is already reaching out – so sweet and sincere, sharing his thoughts, offering to take the watch, wishing you sweet dreams. It’s not a performance. He’s genuinely excited. Giddy, almost!

The contrast with Gale struck me recently. During his first night in camp, he’s already carrying so much – he’s been prepared to die soon, and now he’s stuck with yet another dangerous condition. It’s overwhelming.

To be honest, during my second playthrough when I romanced Gale, I missed that early scene. I remembered him as cheerful and chatty in Act 1, so seeing that moment afterward gave me a deeper understanding of how low he actually felt in the beginning. It’s the connection with others, with Tav, that pulls him back to the light.

But Astarion? He’s glowing that night. He’s finally free, and that feeling is so vast not even any fear about the tadpole can spoil it. He’ll worry about that tomorrow. But right now, he’s just... here. And free.

There’s no seduction yet. No manipulation. Just a raw and honest joy, and a warmth that’s easy to miss but unforgettable once you’ve seen it.

Astarion’s resilience is something incredible.

He hasn’t given up – not on himself, not on the world.

He has the strongest love of life. He wants to live, no matter what.

And no matter what life throws at him, he doesn’t let it break him – he immediately stands into the position, ready to strike, to fight till the last beat – with this fierce determination to insist on being there.

And even after everything, he still chooses to connect. He still cares. If you meet him with patience and sincerity, he readily lets you in – and that trust feels like the most meaningful gift.

His light was dimmed – but it never stopped shining.

Not in Cazador’s dungeon, not ever.

Ascension or Not?

(12/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Trigger warning: Spawn route / Ascension reflection

The Rite of Profane Ascension is the culmination of The Pale Elf’s story - everything has been building toward this: the fear, the shame, the survival instincts, the longing to be seen, the need to finally break free. It’s the most dangerous moment for Astarion - the fork in the road that will change everything.

We’ve already talked about how much Astarion longs to be truly seen. That’s why it hurts so deeply when he isn’t. When Tav misreads him - sees only the seducer, the witty, wicked vampire spawn - it encourages him to stay inside that mask. And he will, because that’s how he survived for two hundred years. But if Tav reaches gently toward what’s underneath, if they speak to the heart of him… he starts to hope: “Could there really be another way?”

The desire to be seen for more than he was made to be is so strong in him that it feels like he is constantly unconsciously searching for it. Not just admired or desired but truly known - it is woven into everything he does. But the tragedy is, the version of himself that he crafted to survive - charming, flirtatious, in control - is so convincing that even he sometimes believes that’s all he has to be. No wonder many players assume Ascension is what Astarion really wants.

That’s why the ritual is so dangerous. It is the ultimate temptation that seemingly can make all his fears disappear, promising eternal power. But it doesn’t free him. It traps him even deeper. Because it is the culmination of Cazador's legacy that he taught him: that power is everything, that it gives you the right to take and abuse, that to be weak is to be worthless and hurt, that vulnerability is pathetic. There is no place for kindness or love in this world.

If Tav helps him to go through with the ritual, it might seem like they’re validating his choice. But what it tells him is: you, as you are - frightened, hurt, still healing but craving connection - are not enough. That the only version of him others can value is the cold, invulnerable one.

It confirms his worst fear, so he clings to it harder.

That’s why, for me, Ascension isn’t Astarion’s "true self." It’s his trauma self - the final mask locked in place by a diabolical ritual, that becomes his new self forever. It's not freedom - it’s losing. Losing to fear. Losing to Cazador’s values. Losing the hope that was beginning to bloom.

But if Tav sees past those layers of defences and stops him - gently, lovingly - it’s not about forcing him to be "good." It’s about saying: I see you. And you're enough, just as you are. You don't need this to be free, to be loved.

That’s why it’s so moving when Tav instead gently reminds him that there is another way, reflecting his humanity back to him. In that route, Astarion finally allows himself to believe he’s more than what Cazador made him: not because he takes power, but because he rejects it and breaks that cycle.

When Astarion walks away from the Rite, it’s not weakness. It’s the first step toward becoming someone he never thought he could be - not a tool, not a monster, not someone else's shadow, but someone who can start discovering his real self. It’s a newfound freedom that finally allows him to start living again.

I want to say something about the Ascended route, too. I haven’t played it myself, only read and watched some bits of it - and maybe I might talk about it more later. But I’ll share just this for now.

For me, Ascension is a very sad and lonely choice for Astaion. By that, he forever separates himself from everyone else, from any genuine connection he could have had with the rest of the world.

Yes, Ascended Astarion still “cares” about Tav - they are still important to him. Maybe the most important person in his world, because he is not likely to let anyone in anymore. But it's not the same - not without that warmth, not when he owns them now. He puts them in the position he once fought so desperately to escape - completely dependent on someone else’s power. He might still be kind. But they are not equals. And I can’t help but wonder how long that kindness would last.

Yes, he can walk in the sun. He can taste food, enjoy luxuries. But without healing, those things are hollow. How long until the joy of novelty wears off? Until the hunger for power inside grows stronger again, forever insatiable? Until it can't satisfy him anymore, and he turns toward the one who cannot leave or say no? Love is not control.

So, for me, persuading Astarion to give up that idea is not forcing him against his nature - it's reminding him of it. Tav cares about him and doesn't want him to corner himself in a choice he might regret later. It's not about moralizing or controlling his choices, but about wanting him to be happy in the long run. If Astarion had made a decision in anger or desperation, its result would have haunted him forever.

That’s why I don’t even like calling it the “Spawn ending.” To me, it’s simply Astarion’s ending. The one where he can finally become who he truly is. Himself.

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I was just thinking how interesting it is that, as someone who’s very likely demi, I didn’t find Astarion attractive at all at first.

But once I started getting to know him, I thought - well, he’s actually kind of cute.

And now I look at him and wonder: where were my eyes before? It’s as if the gods made him just to ruin me.

He’d be so confused.

After learning about that quote on Astarion's shirt in EA, I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I had to try to put it into words somehow:

"Could I kiss you?" you ask, still feeling that bashful flutter in your stomach. But he hums, visibly pleased with the idea.

"How could I say no?"

You smile, struggling to hold a wide grin that threatens to make you look like a fool in love. Which you helplessly are, no doubt.

You lean in, and your lips brush in a soft kiss - familiar, gentle. But when your hand settles on his shoulder, your fingers pause.

“What’s this?” you murmur, fingertips tracing an uneven spot in the fabric you haven’t noticed before.

"Oh, that." He barely glances over, already knowing what you mean. "It’s nothing... just something I made, a long time ago."

He takes a small step back, looking away, his eyes distant again. You wait, daring not to pull him back just yet. You let him decide. And he does, letting out a sigh and looking back with the same vulnerability that turns your heart inside out.

"It was something I made as a reminder, back when there wasn’t much to hold onto. When I was at... his place."

That piercing gaze is full of honesty and careful trust.

"It sounds important. What is it about?.."

You take a small step closer, tilting your head to get a better look, but you wait for permission. He hesitates for a moment but spreads the folds of the shirt, revealing a neat, eloquent line of words embroidered under the waves of ruffles, close to the heart.

"It says - lamentable is the autumn picker content with plums."

You reach out to touch the letters, and he remains still, watching you with the familiar intensity you didn't know you needed in your life. The silence is comfortable. You turn the words in your mind, catching the meaning.

You picture him bent over this shirt, needle in hand, stitching that one stubborn hope into the fabric he kept mending for too many times. Something no one could take. A reminder that even then, he was longing for more.

"I was a plum picker back then," he continues as his fingers softly tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear, taking their time, hovering over your skin, his eyes pensive. "Forced to live on bruised fruits and scraps. I had to remember there was more. There had to be more, even if I didn't know how it looked."

You turn your head, leaning into his touch, and look into his eyes.

“What about now?” you whisper.

He meets your gaze quietly, talking a moment to think, as if he’s still learning the answer himself.

“Now... I think I do.”

Astarion and Cazador

(11/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

This is also less of an analysis and more of a personal impression during the final scene of facing Cazador. I know there is a tragedy of the vampire curse that played its role in his life, too. But now I only want to talk about what I felt and saw with my eyes, solely based on my experience in the game.

When I first saw Cazador, I was honestly dumbfounded. In my imagination, he had always been that archetypal vampire lord - dark, composed, powerful and cruel. But the reality was... underwhelming. He came across as a petty, narrow-minded man who took himself far too seriously. There was nothing truly majestic or formidable about him - he just happened to be stronger than those around him and used that power to indulge himself in the worst ways.

It was actually quite brilliant of the creators to portray him this way - to show how low and hollow someone who takes pleasure in torture really is. That cruelty is just ugly and there is nothing appealing about it, no matter how much you try to cover it with aesthetics or mystery.

And then there was Astarion, standing before him. The difference between them was night and day. Astarion was radiant - beautiful, dignified, strong. Even in that moment of uncertainty, of raw emotion, he shone. I think I could have fallen for him all over again right then and there.

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I already dread the moment my hyperfixation runs out and I start loving Astarion a normal amount.

Ugh 😑

Haha yes that’s what I’m trying to do now:

I made sure to check everything with my 2nd Tav, the drow sorcerer Thalyn. We finished Act 1 & 2 and found the Gur camp and she agreed to help. Astarion is not in her party, so he wasn’t very thrilled to hear that she signed them up to something very risky yet again - and what’s worse, the deal was with monster hunters! She is not very close to him, so the conversation didn't go very well.

After reaching Wyrm’s Crossing, I really missed my first team badly, so I just impulsively started replaying my first campaign from the very beginning. That's why I still haven't experienced these events in the game.

And, yes, even after finishing Act 1 for the third time, I was still able to find something new. I clearly underestimated BG3!

It is very interesting, indeed! I want to reach Act 3 again with my first team and see how they will handle this.

But you reminded me of this interaction between Astarion and Gandrel. Fortunately, I took the screenshots:

Astarion: You're a monster hunter? I'm surprised - I thought all Gur were vagrant cut-throats. Roanael's face: "here we go again…" xD

Gandrel: And more! We steal chickens, curse your crops, seduce your daughters - the list goes on.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any hatred in him. On the contrary, Astarion seems quite pleased.

What I saw here: yes, Astarion expresses some kind of passive aggression, or at least demonstrates he is not quite fond of Gurs. But keeps the tone lighthearted.

Gandrel generously takes the joke and answers in the same key, but at the same time saying: "Yes, there are many rumors and stereotypes, but it doesn't necessarily make them true."

I think, Gandrel won approval here and some respect. Astarion even seems pleased with this interaction. Maybe it's my wishful thinking, but he is too intelligent to seriously hold all Gurs responsible for what happened to him - yes, they will always be associated with his death for him, and I think it's fair. But it doesn't mean he will hate every Gur he meets from now on.

The other thing is how Gandren responded to his humor: for Astarion, I'd say, it's quite a big deal and there are several places in the game when you can trigger his approval or disapproval depending on how you react to his jokes, sometimes quite sarcastic, or how you make jokes yourself. So when someone can take a joke and react positively, he certainly feels pleased with the exchange.

Softie Underneath

(9/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Maybe it’s just my headcanon, but I like to think there’s another side to Astarion, one he tries to hide: the part of him that genuinely likes children.

Of course, I haven't played his Origin run yet, so this is just the feeling I had during my first playthrough.

Take Arabella, the tiefling girl who stole the idol from the druids to stop the ritual. Astarion was all grumpy about getting involved, but there was something like admiration in his tone, even then. And later, when we ran into her again in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, he actually sounded excited to see her: “Oh, you’re that little idol thief!” - he said it almost with a kind of fond recognition. When we found her again in the Baldur’s Gate sewers, surrounded by corpses, listening to the Weave, Astarion whispered her name so quietly, like he was truly worried.

Then there was Yenna, the girl in Rivington whose mother disappeared. When we gave her some gold to buy food, Astarion didn’t say anything, but quietly approved along with the other companions. Later, when she turned up at camp asking to stay, he teased her, but it sounded more playful than mean. And when Orin kidnapped her, he was visibly shaken. He insisted we go after her and grew defensive about it, muttering that too many children had gone missing lately, and it had to stop.

For me, it’s one of those signs that no matter how much he tries to appear cold or indifferent, that’s not who he really is. There’s always been a warm heart under all that cruelty he was forced to learn.

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<next post> - to be continued

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