Bat Siblings - Blog Posts

Jason: "Don't attack, it's me."

Dick, staring at the target through the scope: "Finally, what took you so long--" *turns and stares*

Jason, in Discowing suit: "Bike had problems. What?

Dick: "You know what."

Jason: "Come on, you don't like my Halloween costume? Literally had to fight Robin 3 for it."

Dick:

Jason, grinning: "Too soon?"

Dick: "Let's just get this over with, I can't even look at you right now."

Jason, muttering as he takes the scope from him: "Holy self-loathing Batman."

Dick: *shoves him off the roof*

Specifically, Tim is for the kids who had parents with undiagnosed trauma and mental illnesses. The ones who had to gentle parent their own parents. The ones that have to remain stable even when they can't because they are needed.

Dick is for the eldest children that feel constant guilt for how their actions affect the rest of the family. In success, you set a standard too high for them and in failure you're taking away resources(time, emotional energy, money) that should have been theirs.

Somewhere in between, relating to them both, is the youngest that has to be happy all the time for the family to function. The one that gets made fun of when you need a joke. But also the one that knows everyone's triggers and is always paying attention to everyone's mood. The one whose work is never recognized because no one else has to be home as much as them, everyone else gets a break but them.

Dick is for the eldest sibling while Tim is for the parentified children and I think that's the most important difference between them

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

Jason and Tim have similar competence standards and end up swapping employees sometimes.

---

"Boss, I'm outta the game with this hip---"

"You're outta the beating-up-traffickers game. I got a guy who can get you into the scaring-the-rich game just fine."

"You mean, like...?" A fist into an open palm, quirked eyebrows.

"Nah, verbal intimidation only unless someone steps up to the plate. Mostly you got good eyes and this Wayne kid values having people around who can observe things that aren't spreadsheets."

"Hey, you said I did pretty good at that Excel thing!"

A pointed look.

"Ohhhh. I'm gonna get to learn spreadsheets and threaten people? Oh, man. Thanks, boss!"

"They've got the same insurance, too, so that'll roll over automatically."

---

Meanwhile, on Tim's end of things:

"I noticed that you tend to get impatient with slow results, that you're happy to yell at people for safety violations, and that your plan to remediate the company's incompetence in these areas involves 'firing every single one of them who can't get their head out of their ass.'" Tim smiled.

His employee smiled back. "I mean, that's why you hired me as safety supervisor, right?"

"Of course; your proactive attitude is one of the reasons we chose you. However, I also noticed that a lot of your frustration stems from employees whose work is being impacted by personal issues, often ones stemming from attacks by prominent local criminals."

"Listen, I'm from Minnesota. I know from cold. And I also know that you can't let a little hypothermia from Mr. Freeze screw up your numbers, especially not when those calculations impact lives." Squared shoulders, hands on the hips---yeah, definitely more of a cultural fit with Jason's organization.

Tim nodded and continued his pitch. "And you're competent with a firearm, correct?"

"Hey, I'm not about to go postal just because---"

"No, no, you misunderstand me. You're a skilled employee. I'm just wondering if you might benefit from transferring to a work environment in which you can shoot some of the people who are actually causing these problems."

"I'm sorry?"

"You have a dartboard with Leeds's face on it because he screwed up so many times after that Ivy incident put his kid in the hospital."

"...Okay, I admit that's not my best look."

"The organization I'm recommending you to has a printer next to the firing range; it's sized specifically for target paper."

"Oh."

"It's also an organization that works specifically to keep kids from needing to be in the hospital."

"Oh. You mean---" There was really only one group it could be.

"They need someone with your eye for logistics. Hood's work isn't 'legit,'" Tim made careful air quotes because the dorkiness tended to put people at ease, "but your insurance would roll over to them automatically. And you can rest assured that they take safety very seriously."

I wish I knew how to draw or make edits because I have this very specific edit of Damian Wayne to the song God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner

The lyrics go

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy Got ample mental illness personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I'm in Same hands that made the moon and the stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

And creative liberty with the lyrics here but I imagine it being about how being 'good' comes so easily to the others and yet he struggles so much. Especially in the point after bruce's 'death' he's questioning if he has any place in the family as robin when batman is no longer his father.

It's in my head and it plays on repeat when I'm listening to the song and I wish I could extract it from my head.

Damian: I'm the blood son, heir to the demon so you must listen-

Jason: Keep talking and I'll give your mom a different heir

Bruce(batblob): ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

jason's the only person who can win in an argument against damian and nobody knows how until one day the boys get into a debate about whose plan to use for a case and damian threatens that if they don't listen to his plan and let him take the lead in an attack he'll make their lives a living hell forever and dick and tim don't know how to get him to step down until jason goes out of nowhere 'yeah ok demon brat why don't you take the lead and while you all fight i'll go have sex with your mom again how about that?'

silence for fifteen seconds. damian agrees to do jason's plan. dick and tim are fucking terrified.

Hello tumblr!! im pandora and kinda new

currently obbsessed with wfa batfam but have not read the actual dc comics cos i dunno where to find em

i picked up knitting last year and im currently trying to knit a seater with the nightwing rebirth suit pattern (finger stripes and all)dunno if i will follow through with the plan but if i do ill def update

like i said, new to the app so i dunno how to tag properly but i know the basics(eg add spoilers tag if posting the fast pass eps)

somewhat a writer so might post hcs or fics but im really insecure about my writing so maybe after sometime

a lot of grammer mistakes cos my grammers bad and im from singapore so i speak alot of singlish

i decided to start interacting online cos im having troubles interacting irl and its easier online, so far ive had some luck on reddit, ticktok, and omegle so i have high hopes for tumblr too

if you managed to read the entire thing, tysm i really appreciate it pls be nice and no mean comments, tysm

Random Funny Batman… Stephanie and Duke Sass the Joker

Happy something anniversary to when I made this because I love it.

Tell me I’m wrong

In young justice, in the first episode, Dick Grayson quoted 10 things I hate about you when he came up with ‘whelmed’