Middle Child - Blog Posts

Specifically, Tim is for the kids who had parents with undiagnosed trauma and mental illnesses. The ones who had to gentle parent their own parents. The ones that have to remain stable even when they can't because they are needed.

Dick is for the eldest children that feel constant guilt for how their actions affect the rest of the family. In success, you set a standard too high for them and in failure you're taking away resources(time, emotional energy, money) that should have been theirs.

Somewhere in between, relating to them both, is the youngest that has to be happy all the time for the family to function. The one that gets made fun of when you need a joke. But also the one that knows everyone's triggers and is always paying attention to everyone's mood. The one whose work is never recognized because no one else has to be home as much as them, everyone else gets a break but them.

Dick is for the eldest sibling while Tim is for the parentified children and I think that's the most important difference between them

My husband and I developed a theory so please play along and tell me where you are in birth order (oldest, middle, youngest, only) and if you think having siblings is overall a positive or negative thing.

When I was 14, I heard my dad talking to one of his friends. My dad’s friend was expecting their first child and found out it was going to be a boy. They wanted a girl. My dad told his friend that he and my mom wanted 2 kids, a girl and a boy. Their first child was a boy, my older brother. My dad said, looking back, he was so happy they had a boy first.

When I was born, he said they really wanted a daughter. So they decided to have a third child.

I learned at that point, I was never wanted.

There is no question that my sister is my dad’s favorite. Then my brother. Then me.

There is no question that my brother is my mom’s favorite. My sister is a close second. Most the time, I don’t even think she likes me.

Life has taught me that I am just a disposable cup.

Like this cup, I don’t have any value, once someone is done with what they want from me, I get discarded. When people are done with my friendship, or tired of my affection, or don’t need my help anymore, I get left behind. I am sometimes left on the table, or forgotten, or tossed in the trash. But all too often, I end up crushed along the side the road.

I had a great childhood, but I admit seeing my mom make cute little lunches with messages in them for my little brother when all I had at that age were basic sandwiches everyday makes me feel really jealous.

I know according to the Horrid Henry lore Polly is Henry’s adult cousin but I think making her the mum’s younger sister makes more sense because I’m pretty sure Ruby is older than mum and she gives me huge grown up middle child energy in a way I can’t explain

Being the middle child and what it means

I think we've all stumbled upon the silly jokes on Pinterest and even here about what it means to be the middle child. A bunch of brave souls have even posted comedic reels on TikTok explaining in a funny way a lot of things middle children go through. However, I am not here to talk about those.

No, I am here to talk about how tiring it is to be the middle child for a whole other reason. You are always the mediator; you are always trying to balance things out between the older and the youngest sibling. The mediator between the other siblings and the parents. Probably, it's not the same for all middle children; but God am I tired of always trying to explain to every single person in my family what the other means. Always the one the others are going to complain to. For a while it is nice, you are seen, you are trusted, but how much weight can you carry? You get to understand everyone but no one gets you or each other because they just can't speak their minds to each other.

The double role you have to fill in; not just a younger sibling but also an older one as well. It takes some time to get used to. Especially, when the youngest sibling is younger for more than three years. Personally, I still can't shake my younger sibling behaviour off; I still make my older brother's life a living hell. I still prank him in the way only younger siblings do. He is the one I call when I don't know something, cause it's easier to ring him than search it on Google. At the same time, I can't help constantly worrying about my little brother; I need to put him to bed when he is drunk and emotional, set a bucket by his bed and make sure he sleeps on his side. I still whine at my older brother when he doesn't go along with all my whims but I also act the same as him with our younger brother.

Being the middle child means you are always in the middle of everything whether you want it or not. It is tiring, it is tough, and sometimes it drives you insane. Nevertheless, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I saw this and thought of the Royal Fire Siblings. I can't stop laughing at the accuracy 🤣