Bored - Blog Posts
<《 Just a bit curious, but I don't have that many fans soooooo... I don't know how this'll go. 》>
BORED.
Bored enough to play with the phone camera.
I think they came out rather pretty.
Self Isolation
I don’t really get tumblr, but I’m about ready to tear my damn hair outta boredom, really need something to do with my fingers and this, has still got more appeal to it than my long reading list and huge pile of assignments, that I can’t bring myself to even look at.
So, college kicked us out about three days ago, the Covid-19 outbreak is forcing the Government to close down everything, my Sunday entrance exam just got postponed, and they’ll probably be having a public curfew that day. I read today, that the last pandemic was the ‘Spanish flu’, it killed about 50 million people after the end of the first world war in 1918, more than a century ago, but it wasn’t this widespread...
Apparently its too contagious, and anyway, its a bit understandable, it is difficult for humans to live without contact, but what I don’t get is why the hell are people still travelling?, like seriously ”Oh yeah ! its a global pandemic, I hear its great for vacation” they’re finding British tourists that are tested positive in Kerala.
At home, you can feel the trepidation, the worry, the fear that an uncertain future brings but things still hold normalcy, its still home except for a few laws- ‘no friends‘ ‘wash hands more often‘ ‘be good, stay home‘ ‘and for god’s sake take a shower.’ All we want is the time to pass, and this shit storm to get over with, but fact remains that we’re barely at the first stages of this crisis.
What would living in the middle of world wars must’ve felt like, what would’ve Anne Frank felt like hiding in Amsterdam, hiding to survive? We’re not having aerial bombings and no genocidal maniac is killing people, so its a gross comparison but we’re hiding and isolating ourselves to stay safe as well.
Not thinking much about it helps.....
Hellooo, I'm back.
Feeling kinda weird and ashamed looking at all my old posts. Not sure if it's because I don't know if I'm that same person anymore, or if it's because I'm just getting too good at burying my feelings.
Oh well, I just took a shot LOL. About to take another one because I'm bored, and why not?
(P.S. If anyone's willing to be friends or at least have a friendly chat about mutual interests, I'm down. Not in a sad-and-I-want-to-trauma-dump- kinda way. I just want a friend, TBH.)
IT’S TIME TO STOP JUST– JUST STOP.
Boredom
Im so bored!!! Please someone talk to me Im really really nice Kik @batel_elbaz
Trying to decide... Should I post a draft of something I'm working on so far?
HUH????
HOOWWWWW??? AND WHY??? 😭😭...
Was it because of the gunshot sound effects? 🤔
If not, WHYYYYY???? 😭
Me; I'm going to continue working on my fan comic!! >:)
Also me; Fuck that, I'm going to make silly sketches of Easter and Iggy!
Me internally; ...What-
🩵🤎🩵🤎
someone pls help. OW x Easter crossover is flooding my head now.
Note 2 self, never play Our Wonderland Remastered after watching an analog horror video with multiple close up jumpscare at 3am. Almost got two heart attacks...
(The CGs in the remastered is delicious as fuck omfg-)
"Jerry the Runway Queen King."
All this hard work, only for him to be in 3rd place.
Context:
...Dress to Impress.
Also, yes I gave Jerry sideburns and a goatee(???), I tried to make him look similar to his Broomtail design the best I could.
😞💦
Random Thoughts:
I am still surprised that I played Our Wonderland for free..
Like, before I even downloaded Our Wonderland, I was like; 'ah, a Queer visual novel with problematic 30 year Olds going into Wonderland? Sounds interesting enough. This would be a piece of cake-"
Bro, Our Wonderland touched yet beat up my heart like there's no fucking tomorrow. I HAVEN'T EVEN CRIED AT A VISUAL NOVEL (only internally BUT NOT OUTSIDE) UNTIL PLAYING OUR WONDERLAND.
Like the characters!?!??!?!? The plot!?!? The humour- 🫶👌- THE ANGST!?!? AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE ENDING. LIKE I WAS FUCKING BAWLING MY EYES OUT WHEN IGGY WISHED HE NEVER EXISTED. I'M LIKE; "WAIT, WHAT, NO, NO, NO," until I saw that it wasn't actually the end of the game- just the arc.
BUT GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. THE ENDINGS AT EACH ARC WAS LIKE KNIVES STABBING INTO MY HEART-
And when I finally finished Our Wonderland. I slowly laid back down on my bed and cried both tears of joy and sadness-
Like, I played that visual FOR FREE. WTF.
Also, when first playing it, I thought Cecil was like an alternate emo version of Iggy-
Anywhizzle, that's all of my yapping.
R.i.p five tissue boxes, for sacrificing their lives while I played Our Wonderland.
🤧😞🫡🥀
W.I.P Chapter 1 #2:
The clumsy life had chose you, Iggy Maxwell UvU
"The Barbeque"
OMFG.
When I first played Our Wonderland and when this magnificent scene had begun, it was another thing that touched my heart. Got me a little bit of Deja Vu.
The barbeque, I mean. When I was a little demonic gremlin, me and my cousins would run around the backyard while the adults talk and smoke. Often, me and my cousins would jump on the trampoline or would often make horror stories (One of them managed to convince me that old porcelain dolls lived in the walls. Hah, the memories).
Now, all (totally) matured teens we are, we still talk. Not that much as I slightly lost connection with them but still talking.
Anyways, enough of my memory lane. I guess that the Barbeque scene was just- warm- touching to my weird heart. Maybe because the barbeque was a nice reunion for the group. Huh. Reunion. Maybe that's why it touched my heart.
That and also why I felt...envious?? Jealous, that despite what they're going through, they reunited over some nice barbeque. I can't even reunite with my friends without them bringing up past problems, without me being the middle of their shit. Whenever I try to reunite them over anything. Even after my group had broken up into two, whenever I talk with one of them they would just say; "Oh, are you that selfish?" or "Do I not matter to you?" or "You can do way much better than hanging out with them." It's my decision on who I hang out with and who I don't hang out with. It's my choice if I want to stop hanging out with one or not. Like, I don't fucking care, it's my choice, why can't they fucking take a no for an answer? That I'm my own person and not some character from some twisted drama show?
But besides my enviousness of the barbeque scene. It really gives a nice introductions to the characters, how they act to one another but what I like most was the presentation of Hunar(Humar? Sorry for my misspelling) and Bucks relationship and how both of them react/deal with their unready . I love how Carrot had showed that Bucks wasn't ready or ready to be a mother (yet), showing how Bucks had dealt with the situation, which and sadly, she dealt quite negatively, neglecting Saydie and avoiding the problem. When arguing with Hunar, she had suggested giving their infant daughter whiskey to shut her up but when her friends were coming over, she had bought a new grill for the barbeque reuninon.. Hunar, who, even though wasn't prepared nor ready to be a father (just like Bucks), took the responsibility of taking care of Saydie, which in my point of view and my opinion, was the only one taking care of Saydie and also the only one trying to keep their marriage upgoing and stable. Instead of Hunar staying silent and letting Bucks do her thing (which I sadly keep seeing on SOME visual novels/books *cutely sighs*), he confronted her about the problem, telling her off for her irresponsibility, her neglection towards Saydie and how she rarely been at home for dinner and shit.
Honestly, if @just-a-carrot didn't add the barbeque scene after the small prologue, I would've gone;
'that's a wrap. I'll play this tomorrow!', then would've proceed to not play it for a week- (totally not me who spent one whole day on ARC 1 and balling my eyes out at the end)
LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH. How they expressed the types of relationship the group has for each other in their 30s, it's like fucking icing on a rich red velvet cake. (YES RED VELVET IS MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR SWEETS, BITE ME). Like how Genzou still bullies Orlam, how Orlam improved his game (by game I mean getting laid-), how Gidget is trying to be perfect, Bucks becoming a momm- I MEAN, becoming a tough (anger issue??) woman. I WOULD CONTINUE RANTING BUT IT'LL FUCKING BECOME LIKE THE FNAF LORE BOOK. Ty, for whoever read this.
Entering the Rizzler's Chambers:
{If Our Wonderland was created(EDITED??) by a Gen Z/Alpha}
[§Arc 5: Orlam's Part/route§]
(This is all jokes and for funnsy)
Context;
As our asexual omega protagonist, Iggy Maxwell the fifth, and his two tough alphas went inside the cannibalistic rizzler's castle after many sacrifices of betas like General Furry of Dress to Impress.
(R.I.P Jerry no-testicles 2022-2025)
However, as the three divas entered the rizzler's chambers, they were confronted by his dogs and STANKINESS 💀.
"Not sorry."
Genzou would watch as blood pours out of Iggy’s earlobes and eyelids. He continued to struggle against the two rabbit guards' grip.
“I’M SORRY!! ORLAM, STOP!! PLEASE STOP, I’M SORRY!!!” Genzou loudly begged as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. He could hear the two guards holding him, chuckling underneath their breath. He watches as the life in Iggy’s blood stained eyes faded away.
Genzou's struggles came to a pause as he looked at Iggy’s limp and motionless form. He couldn’t be…
He watches the ginger haired king release the motionless form of his white haired friend…his partner’s body slumped over as it was the chains that were stopping his body from falling onto the dirty ground.
“Iggs?..” Genzou quietly called out with a shaky voice. His usual cockiness was completely gone, broken, as he looked at the body in front of him.
“Iggy!?” Genzou called out once more but louder this time. He didn’t even notice his body trembling as he continued to look at the body of the man he was supposed to protect. The man he was supposed to love. The man he was supposed to hold every single night.
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud bark of laughter coming from the King of the land. Slowly, Genzou lifted up his head and looked up at Orlam. He never felt so much hatred against Orlam until now. Orlam looks down at the teary mess that Genzou had become.
“What’s the matter, Gennyzou? No more witty comments?” Orlam ‘playfully’ pinched Genzou’s cheek with a victorious grin. Genzou grimaced by Orlam’s touch as his gaze lays upon Iggy’s body once more. Just by looking at the once live body of the man he loves, faint memories of both past and present, the moments from last night left an ache in his heart…
How he held Iggy close to his body as they slept through the night.
His first kiss with the man he loved and had a crush on since High school...
The warmth he felt with Iggy close to him…
What a fucking moron. A shitty moron is what he is. An self-centred asshole who should've been the one to get tortured, to get killed . Not Iggy.
He was supposed to protect Iggy. What kind of person wouldn’t protect their partner? What kind of asshole leaves them vulnerable?
I’m sorry…
Genzou quietly apologised as he continued to look at the pale, bloody burnt body of his white haired partner.
I’m so fucking sorry, Iggy…
Silence filled the area. That was until Orlam let out a small chuckle. He roughly grabbed both of Genzou’s cheeks and forced him to look up at him once more.
“Tell me, Genzou,”
Orlam trailed off for a brief moment as he mockingly wiped away the tears coming out of Genzou’s eyes.
“Are you still sorry?”
[ Fractured Loop #1: Poor Genzou should’ve been genuine to Orlam, should've been nicer. Oh well, at least Iggy isn't suffering anymore. Sadly, Genzou suffered a slow death as Orlam made sure his death was slow and painful. To remind Genzou of the pain he had made Orlam go through. It would be a lie if one say that Genzou died peacefully.]
Note: Idk y I wrote this. maybe because I have 2 tests this week. wish me luck UnU,
What I thought Broomtail was going to be like;
Context:
. . .
There's no context to this. Ig a parody of Broomtail or smth Idk 😶
Spy(?)!Au of Our Wonderland + WIP Fanfic of mine -M-,
Oh my fucking god, this au had been stuck in my head.
And what I mean by that, is a few images of that au. 😋
I can imagine a few roles each members would take. (And in my opinion 😅)
Bucks: A hitwoman, in love with her back alley doctor (wink wink)
Iggy: An anxious lower ranked agent-in training, who happens to be in the 'Lamb to the slaughter' scenario (wrong place, wrong time 😔)
Orlam: A gang leader. (I mean- come on 😀)
Gidget: A mob boss (because they're a diva🤭)
Genzou: A wanted convict/mercenary (Can you feel, the loveeee 2nigghttttt)
Cecil: Underpaid cop (who's tots not a dirty cop, working for certain mob boss hehehehehehe)
Jerry: A punk ass agent (yes, one who loves to torment new interns *coughs* Iggy.)
Hunar: A back alley doctor.
Not only that! I can just imagine the AU taking place in this cyberpunk inspired world! The high tech, the romance, the angst and DRAMMMAAAAA!!!!
Tbh I would love to make a comic about this au however, I just need to find some free time to make the comic and also figure out the plot to it. plus, I have two tests this week (and no thanks to my two teachers who taught me nothing) and working on a Fanfic, based around one of the possibilities that had happened in their Wonderland. (gosh Im so cringe -3-")
P.S: Does anyone know poetry because I'm having a love-hate relationship with how this sounds;
Random Late Night Post:
Speed paint on the artwork I made a few days(weeks?) ago. + The song I was listening to when drawing this.
My favourite small details :)
Small yapping context;
I made the artwork after a two hour roleplay I was having with a friend. Me being me, I roleplayed as a tavern bartender as an Iggy Doll and a friend of mine was roleplaying as this shadow mage thing(??).
Fast forward into the roleplay, Long story short, I had been gutted. ._.
The context of the artwork was supposed to represent guilt and shame. I tried to show that by drawing an alternate version of Iggy dancing with, well, Iggy himself. The reason I blurred Genzou's line from his Arc was because it was shown as comfort(?) towards Iggy and I'm like;
"fuck that." *Cutely blurs the text*
Aight. That's it. Time to dive back into planning my fanfic. "-3-
Awww Look At these Cuties!! 💖💖
[!G0R3 W@RNING!]
why do I feel like these three scenes have slight similarities? 🤔
[First image: Iggy from Our Wonderland; Arc 2]
[Second Image: Protag from Elevator Hitch; Ending 3B]
[Third Image: [You/Player] from Do NOT Take This Cat Home; Ending 25: "Seafood Sacrifice". (obviously, they weren't always a fish-)]
+ Small art I made of the three of them <3
Context:
Quick explaino!
While playing Our wonderland, I thought the scene where Iggy was slowly being digested, kinda reminds me back into another two Visual Novels I had played, called; Elevator Hitch and Do NOT take this cat home!
Tbh, I see small similiarities between the three! However, I think Iggy and Protag have a few more similarities than the Player in DNTTCH. They both wear glasses, both determined, both ( including the player from DNTTCH) getting eaten alive, died many times, stuck in a time-loop, have fluffy hair(I MEAN LOOK AT THEEEMMM), anxious, both cutie patooties anndddd both have jerkwad boyfriends (Iggy and Protag, Idk about the player-)
(honestly, Ilovelelevatorhitchourwonderlandanddonttakethiscathomesomuchthatit'sbecominganaddictionhelp yes I ship Protag with Coworker(Bryce Stryker-or whatever douchebag name he comes up with this time...) >:3.
Want to know more about these three? Want to see the beautiful creation they came from? Click these Links and Play them yourselves!!:
Our Wonderland
Elevator Hitch
Don't Take This Cat Home
also, and if u want, try out my game?:
Fractured Memories
And don't forget to support the ✨lovely✨ creators of these games!
@just-a-carrot
@racheldrawsthis
@pixeliminal