Bts Blurbs - Blog Posts
appreciate—
written by: 🥺
genre: fluff
warnings: none
pairing: namjoon x reader
summary: on some occasions, love isn't a strong enough word
thank you to @ofrosesandteacups for requesting this!! (not this kinda becoming a metaphor for army and the energy we put into loving them?? idk i see it but tell me what you think)
it feels as though you've been here before, although you are entirely certain you haven't. miles away from home in a foreign country, surrounded by speakers of a language you have yet to master - and yet it feels more like home than america ever could.
"do you miss your family?"
you do. not seeing them for five years is bound to create that feeling, equal parts longing and forgetting. but that same longing compelled you to seek out a new family, one that seems more like your flesh and blood than those who actually are.
"sometimes," you settle on. "i see them most days."
"just through a screen, though."
"are you trying to make me cry or something?"
namjoon laughs; lower and more hushed than usual. there's no reason for it, and yet you can understand why - it just fits the atmosphere.
laying between the ground and the sky, - somewhere that is also nowhere - it isn't like anyone could hear you besides the stars and the trees, and they are loyal; nature never spills the secrets that are whispered between humans when they think they are alone. secrets are too precious like that, too easily shattered. nature knows better.
but he whispers anyway, "of course not. just asking."
you turn your head to study him. his skin glows in the moonlight, eyes shining like stars reflected in a dark pond. a rush of warmth floods over you and stirs a thought that enters your head frequently: this is where i'm meant to be.
"you're my family."
a smile stretches over namjoon's lips. it's quiet, soft, and you start to wonder if that's just him, rather than an unspoken rule formulated by the setting.
"i know."
he's used to this. you tell him it frequently, tell every one of the boys that you love them as much as you possibly can, because with their busy schedules and the pressure that comes with fame, it's easy to forget that you're loved - truly, unconditionally loved - sometimes, and you want to remind them of that.
maybe that's why he doesn't act surprised when an 'i love you' slips through your lips next. that's okay, you don't need him to react, just feel the weight of your words, how much you really mean it.
"i appreciate you," he says.
you're used to this. the other boys have no qualms about returning your love, some less than others, but again, that's okay. but with namjoon, he hasn't said it once. he shows it in other ways, sure, this particular phrase being one of his favourite methods.
it was okay at first. up until the point you realised your feelings for him extended past friendship, and at the same time realised that it would, inevitably, end in a broken heart on your part.
he must sense this, as he quickly follows it up with, "and i don't say that to put you down, by the way. i just think that appreciation can be a lot stronger than love, you know?"
"no, uh, i understand that."
he doesn't stop there. "no, really. i could tell you i love you, because i do, but it wouldn't be able to express what i really feel."
he turns and locks eyes with you. his gaze is soft, soft, soft, but at the same time it burns, like gentle, slow heat on a summers day. you can't help but look away, instead focusing on the space between you two, where your fingers idly pick at individual blades of grass.
"y/n?"
you hum in response.
"i mean it," he states, now switching to english. maybe that's why you feel the most comfortable with him - you can relax in his presence, not having to worry about honorifics and conjugating verbs. "i appreciate the way you never hesitate to speak your mind; the way you treat us like you treat everyone else; the way you're always there when we need you."
you bite your lip, the confidence you usually hold dissipating into the atmosphere to join the clouds that roll overhead. "thank you," is all you can think to say. it's true, though. he's never usually like this, and you're grateful that he's finally confirmed it, even if its only in part.
a gentle hand touches your chin, prompting you to look upwards. you can't escape the warmth of his eyes now, and it's almost suffocating.
"you put your all into us. we appreciate it, we really do. but please remember to look after yourself once in a while. please?"
you nod. apparently, it isn't enough. "promise me. promise me you'll appreciate yourself as much as you appreciate us, and as much as we appreciate you."
a sigh escapes your lips. the light breeze caresses your skin, but namjoon's blanketing warmth is enough to keep the cold from settling into your bones.
"i promise."
all i need—
written by: 🥺
genre: fluff, angst
pairing: jungkook x female!reader
warnings: mentions of anxiety, crying (does that count??)
summary: sometimes, when the world becomes too much, all jungkook needs is you.
thanks to @alle-rtse for requesting this!!
you're used to jungkook coming home late from work. he's always been one to push himself far too hard, to practice the same dance over and over again until he can barely move. he's nothing short of a perfectionist, always dissatisfied, always convinced that he has to work harder—to just get that timing dead on, or that one note perfect.
he never does. nothing is ever good enough for him. it's always one more hour, one more practice, one more missed meal. which is why you're used to your boyfriend working into the early hours of the morning, coming home and sleeping for a few hours before repeating the same routine once more.
what you're not used to, however, is him seemingly forgetting about you entirely. he always makes a point to reply to your texts and wake you up just to kiss you goodnight, but that doesn't happen this time.
all of your messages are left unread, your calls unanswered. you eventually give up, moving into the bedroom and tucking yourself into bed, trying to ignore the tears forming in your eyes and the painful swelling in your chest. did you do something wrong? is he mad at you?
is he coming home at all tonight?
the sick feeling in your stomach persists until you fall asleep. but even as you stir awake at the sound of shuffling, it's still there.
"jungkook?" you whisper. you catch a glimpse of the digital alarm clock on your bedside table. it reads 3:18 AM.
in the quiet you discern the sound of sniffling, but he doesn't speak. you sit up against the pillow, watching as he pulls a spare t-shirt on with his back facing you.
"why are you home so late?"
he shrugs this time, proving that he's heard you. the anxiety ripples at this—he's definitely mad.
and then he turns around, head bowed so that his brown locks obsure his face. he climbs into bed and lays on his side, facing away from you.
you could go to sleep and leave it to the morning. you're tired, goddamnit, and if he's not going to talk to you, there's no point in trying. two years of dating him has taught you that if he doesn't want to talk about whatever's running through his head, he just won't.
but the feeling is still there, and you think that maybe it's not such a bad thing anymore, as it urges you to reach a gentle hand out and touch his shoulder.
he doesn't jerk away like you feared he would. instead, he exhales shakily.
"look at me, baby," you whisper.
he hesitates, then slowly flips onto his other side. even in the dim moonlight that pokes through the gaps in the blinds, you can recognise his swollen face and glistening eyes.
"oh, baby." you slide down next to him and run your fingers through his hair, the way that makes him shudder and melt at the same time. "talk to me. what's wrong?"
he shakes his head. briefly, you wonder if he's going to refuse, but then he says, "everything."
there's an unmistakable hitch in his voice. that one word seems to strike a nerve within him; his face scrunches up and more tears slip out of his eyes.
"everything's wrong?"
he nods and a muffled sob leaves his mouth. you pull him closer, hand moving to his nape and gently massaging the skin. shaky hands grip your waist, as if he's afraid that you might slip through his fingers if he were to loosen his hold.
"i just want to rest," he says, voice barely audible, "but i can't. i won't let myself. i just... i'm so exhausted, y/n."
something about his words makes the tears from earlier spill over. you take a deep breath, willing them away, and hold him with tender strength, now sharing the same worry that he might disappear the second you let go.
"i know, baby. i know. i'm here for you, alright?"
he only cries harder. you take his face in your hands; flushed cheeks, bloodshot eyes, damp skin. a pearly tear escapes from his eye and rolls down his cheek. you lean forward and capture it with your lips before it can reach the pillow.
jungkook giggles a little at this, the sound sweeter than any melody he could ever sing. you repeat the action, watching his eyelids flutter shut and long, dark lashes brush against his cheekbones as you kiss there, collecting the tears on your lips.
when you pull away, he's smiling. just a little, but it's a start. with a new sense of determination, you press pecks over every part of his face, then finish with a swift kiss to his lips.
"my lips are all wet now," you complain with mock annoyance.
jungkook giggles again. his eyes begin to slowly close, the smile still playing on his moist lips. "i'm sorry if i worried you. i thought i could do this by myself but i can't. i thought all i needed was me but... but all i need is you."
"that's so cheesy."
he pouts, but his sad expression quickly morphs into one of amusement. "you're so cheesy."
"i'm always here if you need me. you know that, right?"
he nods, eyes still shut. "i know."
sleep takes jungkook in a matter of seconds. you stay awake, listening to his steady breaths until you're assured that he's okay. everything he said echoes in your mind, but you try to push the worries out. words and concerns and tears can wait for later, all he needs now is you by his side.
and all you need is him.