why it is that i have the worst timing. im saying this because currently im falling for you and i don’t know what to do because i don’t want this. im not saying that i don’t want you of course i do it’s just that i know this isn’t gonna work. im sorry that im so negative it’s just that i always screw things up and these relationship stuff never works out with me. im too clingy, i need attention or else i overthink and think you don’t want me anymore, or that im just too emotional and that im a total mess. but i can’t help myself, im just constantly falling when i see you, when you talk to me, and when you show the slightest affection towards me. i never expected to fall for someone like this again. you’re there for me when i need it, you’re the one person right now that i truly trust and has been always there for me. and i don’t know what im gonna do when that time comes and you leave and i never see you again. i don’t want that time to come but it is and there’s no way of avoiding it because it’s gonna happen. maybe in months, weeks, or maybe in a few days but that day will come that we’ll be strangers again. unless you feel that this can work and that you’ll do everything you can to keep this relationship we have. that you won’t care that im an emotional mess, or that i overthink. you’re simply gonna fall for me as much as i fell for you.
what if i never did what i did? would it still be hard knowing that you deserved better, that if you were with someone else you’d be happier? maybe
but i cant go back. im stuck with the decision of letting you go and that i was too scared of being with you and disappointing you. yeah i know its dumb but what can i do now? its not like i can go back?
i have a question, do you ever think about me? yes i know this is dumb and the answer is probably no because i hurt you. but i just wanna know because i think about you. yeah i know you’re probably thinking why and maybe kinda pissed but i do and its all these little things that trigger it, like the stuff that trigger memories. happy ones. but really i just want to know if you ever just a little thought about me.
well yet again you’re never going to see this…