Cartman - Blog Posts
It Backfired
Cartman: Hey, Timmy. Who’s the first person that comes to mind when you hear the word gay?
Timmy: Timmy.
Cartman, laughing his ass off: Wow, I didn’t know you were so confident with your homosexuality! Good for you, fag!
Jimmy: Th-that’s not what he said.
Cartman: I’m pretty sure everyone here can vouch for me that he said his name.
Jimmy: Y-yeah, but he was talking ab-bout you, Eric.
Cartman: Yeah, right. As if Timmy would even consider me of all people to be-
Timmy: *smirks and points to Stan across the room*
Cartman, narrowing his eyes: Oh, you little shit.
My favourites - South Park
I know absolutely nobody asked for this but I’ve decided to expose myself so awaaaay we go!
Favourite kids:
5. Kenny
4. Stan
3. Craig
2. Jimmy
1. Timmy (Literal angel. Best boy)
Favourite Adult:
Miss Havisham (I know that she was only in that one episode about Pip but that was all it took for her to be my favourite)
Favourite Sibling:
Shelly
Some of My Favourite Episodes: (sorry I put so much)
The Jeffersons
Cartman Joins NAMBLA
Tweek vs. Craig
A History Channel Thanksgiving
Asspen
Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers
Helen Keller! The Musical
Pandemic Part 1 & 2 (counting it as one because I can)
Timmy 2000
Fourth Grade
Good Times With Weapons
I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining
Krazy Kripples
It’s Christmas In Canada (I fucking adore the Canadians)
Favourite Songs:
5. Why Can’t I Be Like All The Other Kids? (Token)
4. Put It Down (Craig, Tweek, other students)
3. Out Of My Shell (Larry)
2. Queef Free (Men of South Park)
1. Christmas Time In Hell (Satan)
Favourite Game:
The Fractured But Whole
Bonus~
Favourite Ships:
Stanman (Stan x Cartman)
Jyle (Jimmy x Kyle)
Creek (Craig x Tweek)
Clenny (Clyde x Kenny)
Special K (Mysterion x Dr. Timothy)
Pete x Michael
Once again, no one asked! I just wanted to say this! If you agree/disagree with any of these, let me know!
sp Doodles im rlly sorry you guys
little mermaid au!
art by @nheyguys
this might seem like a little unusual brotp but has anyone else thought about tweek and cartman’s possible friendship? i have no idea how exactly i came up with this, but i, personally, as a very (and i mean it) anxious person noticed that although i try to avoid every possible dangerous situation, i still like these chaotic people whose life is a complete mess because i feel more, uh, alive around them? and it just seems like something that tweek would like to do?
he tends to try to overcome his fears by facing them so being close to someone like cartman is a great way for this. i mean, can you really still be afraid of other people when you’re friends with someone as fucked up as eric cartman?
tweek is kinda afraid of this chaotic and terrifying lifestyle that cartman has, but then he keeps getting involved in dangerous shit that cartman usually does, and eric always finds a way out of every hopeless situation with minimum harm, and it helps tweek to deal with less life-threatening things.
he goes like “Yesterday Cartman took me with him to rob a bank and I had to bail him out of jail and then the building exploded ‘cuz he had made a fucking bomb while being behind bars. Do you really think I can be nervous because of an exam? Bold of you to assume anything can possibly scare me now.” (c) tweek tweak ig
they also have this constant funny banter like “jeez tweek go take your meds already” – “you take your meds!!!” and it’s so extremely hilarious like literally NO ONE understands how it is possible for them to be friends
PLz tell me there coming bacK together
plZ tHe gAnG CanT spLiT :"(( 🤧😩
KDtifkyfyf
no words
EVEN THE GIRL IN THE BACK LOOKS LIKE REBECCA
"The cartoon is called el chavo if you're curious 😌✋"
i drink to forget but i always rember fhjfyuf why did i do this? edit. tumblr makes it look gray n shit i dunno why
"It's ma madafuckin birthday bitchhh"
Nah but fr thank you so much for my lovely internet friend for these amazing gifts I mean omg I LOST IT WHEN I OPEND THEM FROM THE BOX JUST LOOK
She's so talented with watercolors like jdndjsns
Ya know I had to do it xd
Also happy b day to Craigslist mabye I'll do a drawing later this day I dunno
I panted this a while ago and dont rember when, sorry ://
OMFG I CANT IM CRYING
OMG LOOK AT SQASHED STAN OMG OMG
PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY
Sup guz hhapy new Yer 🥴👍
(And yes my stupid ass did write 2020 instead of 2021)
"Kahl quick we have to hide"
I hear a half whisper coming from the doorway and without having time to process what's happening I'm being pushed into a closet.
"What the hell is-"
"Shh quiet jew, they might hear"
Now where both cramped intoo a tiny closet. Well it's not tiny it's just Cartman being fat and taking up a lot of space while I'm just barely squeezed in holding the closet doors shut.
"What are you talking about?"
"I saw a rober with a gun here"
"What!?"
"Shhh"
"Sorry...what? We have to call the cops"
"I'm not stupid Kahl, I alredy did. Now we just have to wait here"
"Allright" I agree and everything goes to silance.
Well this is kindda awkward...um
God and it doesnt help that where so crampt in here. He's propably hunched over cuz I can feel his hot breath on my neck. God hes so close JESUS CHRIST WHY IS HE SO CLOSE A-
"You okay Kah-?"
"Yes"
ye if you’re getting deja vu then you’re not crazy xd
this is one of the kyman sketches I have posted but now with slightly different expressions and Christmas outfits yay 🙂
no srs I didn't get lazy I actually got over myself and messed up a cupule times trying to do this “big project” and since I didn't what to feel like I wasted time I made this lil thing
dunno hope you like it and happy holidays 🎄🥴✨
Now I'm laying in the bed terrified. Fuck I just saw a flashlight flash in my window someone is trying to get in here! WHat DO I DO?! AHh no Kyle get it together you're sounding like Tweek. Yeah shut your eyes... forget... mabye I should still loo-
My quick start of a sleep was intorupted by a pair of hands. Hands? Touching around my bed like there blind and then my arm? Hands... OH
"AA-" I scream but one of them covers my mouth and I hear a low husky "shhh"
"Its okay it's me Kahl" the 'stranger' quietly reassures but takes my pause as mark of not knowing who he is. Surprised he continues
"Kahl? Is this you?"
Then he starts touching around my face with his bigass hands. He squeezes the puffy hair but still is not reassured so goes around some more. As soon as he touches the nose he says "Yeah okay that's Kahl"
Man the way I draw Cartman changes with every drawing I swer I'm doing it unintentionally xd
2020-06-17
Cartman: Hey Kahl, have you found yourself someone on jdate yet?
Kyle: I dunno, have you stopped crying alone in you're room waching food porn on your snapchat yet?
Cartman: ...*sniff* jew...
Ah yes the boi- aHem girlz 😳👍
Yup my headcanon is that Kyle is the shortest no matter what universe
2020-11-27
Shhh yes I know Butters arms are the wrong way 🤫
This is old and we dont talk about that 😳
2020-06-01
and yes I started off pride month with this 🥴 🏳️🌈
Yup kyman agen 🥴👍
Cartman kindda looks like Clyde but oh well
Yup this is kinnda old but you'll see old stuff often here
Anyway I did this 11-24 right after I wached the mysterion trilogy for the first time and I needed to draw these dorks xd
Also I made lemon bars the next day 🍋
♥ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyBUDxX_DLM&ab_channel=Teashis ♥
heo got myself a tablet so here’s some kyman 😌🥴💚💖 Also yeah I just noticed that the t is missing one line but oh well xd
JENNIFER LOPEZ (SINGER AND ACTRESS) STARRING IN A MOVIE ABOUT A DECEASED FAMOUS SINGER
AND
THE INHABITING THING IN THAT SINGER'S GRAVE 🪦