( Cole | 002 ) - Blog Posts
loverboymontgomery:
When Adam passed Cole his hoodie, he smiled. Though it was a cliche, he loved wearing Adam’s clothes– so much so that he’d periodically stolen dozens of shirts, hoodies, and jackets over the years. He brushed his hand against Adam’s and tugged the hoodie on, trying to act cool, calm, and collected when he was anything but. Both because he was freaking out about whatever had grabbed them in the lake and because Adam was here, looking at him with those eyes, and he wasn’t allowed to hold him.
“Kind of wish I did,” Cole said, with a sigh. He wished he had answers for Adam– or rather, that his answers made any fucking sense. When Max had told him about the Upside Down and the Mindflayer and the fucked up shit happening in Hawkins, it had actually made him feel better, for a while. He finally knew that Adam hadn’t died hating him, that he was… possessed. But when Adam showed back up with a completely different story, any comfort Cole took in the truth was long gone.
I’m not going anywhere. Cole closed his eyes for a moment and willed himself to believe it. Only, Adam couldn’t guarantee that. Cole couldn’t guarantee that either. Adam coming back both gave Cole a future again and threatened his utter demise. Losing Adam once had already destroyed him, but the thought of losing him twice felt like a death sentence. He did his best to muster up a smile, so as not to worry his boyfriend, but Cole knew better. Adam was always able to tell when something was up.
Cole knew Adam’s answer before he elaborated, just based on the way he said his name. He nodded profusely along as Adam spoke, as guilt settled into his stomach. Of course Adam couldn’t leave his family now. He’d just gotten caught up in the moment, in his own fears, and was desperately trying to find something to cling to. “Of course, love. Of course,” he murmured, squeezing Adam’s hand back. “I’m sorry, that was… I was being emotional. I don’t want you to leave your family.” If anything, Cole wanted to bring Adam’s family with them. “I understand how they feel. I’m so scared of losing you again,” he finally admitted, rubbing circles on Adam’s hand with his thumb.
Their relationship had never gotten to look like a straight couple’s. In high school, Adam didn’t get to walk down the hall hand in hand with Cole, or kiss him when they got to their classroom door. Cole couldn’t show up to Adam’s games with Adam’s jersey number painted on his cheek. They couldn’t be out. That just wasn’t an option in Hawkins, Indiana. But they had always managed to find little ways of reclaiming the public displays of affection that they deserved. From sitting too close on the bus to away games to a casual arm thrown across the other’s shoulder, Adam and Cole had always tried to show how much they loved one another in their own way. Cole wearing Adam’s clothes was probably Adam’s favorite, though. He loved seeing the other in his hoodies or sweaters; he’d even given Cole his fucking letterman jacket in school, almost daring anyone to say something. So giving him another hoodie tonight was more than worth it if it warmed Cole up and brought a smile to his face after everything that had happened.
“Yeah, me too,” Adam agreed, leaning back on the log. If only it was that simple. If only they’d had some sort of weird, freaky, shared nightmare or something. But something had happened, hadn’t it? Adam had felt it just as much as Cole. And that didn’t comfort him in the end. “But, we’re okay. Right? We both lived. We’re both here. We’ll get through this.” Maybe that was too optimistic, but Adam had always brought that to their relationship. Where Cole was more pragmatic, more understanding of the cruelties of the world, Adam was kind. He was gentle. He saw the best in all situations and people. And right now, they needed a little bit of optimism before they....well, before they drowned.
It killed Adam to turn Cole down. If he could just go, he would in a heartbeat. That had always been the plan, after all - for them to leave, runaway together and move out to California. Somewhere where they could just be together. Where no one would hurt them for holding hands, or would look at them strangely for living together. And Adam had ruined that. Whether he meant to or not, Adam had kept them from leaving, and he was doing it again. It broke him to do that, but he couldn’t just leave his family. Not right now. “I’m so sorry, honey,” Adam told him, bringing Cole’s hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. If someone saw right now, Adam would say he was fucking kidding or something - but he needed to comfort Cole. “No, baby, it’s okay to be emotional.” Fuck, Adam was emotional. He felt sometimes like his heart was too big for his rib cage - it expanded out, bloody and raw for the world to see and judge and treat however it saw fit. He couldn’t hide a fucking emotion if he tried. “You won’t.” Adam swore. “I promise, Cole, I’m going to do everything that I can to be with you forever. Whatever happened before - we’ll just make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay? Together.”
loverboymontgomery:
Cole was certainly freaked out by what had happened at the lake. One minute, it felt like high school again– like they were just hanging out with friends at the lake. Then, whatever the fuck was going on reared its ugly head again, freaked Adam out again. That was the worst part to Cole. He desperately wanted Adam’s second chance at life– or re-entering into society, whatever– to be positive. He’d even settle for bearable.
When they’d come away from the shore, Cole had found refuge in the fire. It was starting to get chilly, and he felt like moping alone for a while. Let everyone else talk it out and theorize, but he wanted nothing to do with it. All he could think about was getting out of Hawkins. Clearly, he and Adam had no shot at a normal life here for a multitude of reasons. Their plan had always been to get away, what was stopping them now?
Cole tore his eyes away from the crackling fire as Adam sat down next to him. Despite everything, he smiled at his boyfriend. This felt familiar– the sensation that Adam was nearby but never too close so as to arouse suspicion. Finally, the point in the night where it was safe to be close again, even if they still had to be on guard.
“Hey,” he echoed, taking the drink with a grateful smile. “It’s really not bad. Maybe I made it all up,” Cole confessed. “And you? Are you okay?” he looked Adam up and down for any sign of injury or distress. Whatever had happened, Adam had been right there, too. “No–” Cole protested quickly, “It’s okay. Really.” Then, quieter, he chanced: “Just… stay with me?”
In the dark, Cole reached over and took Adam’s hand in his own. It was a risk, but he needed the reassurance. After a few moments of silence, words tumbled frantically out of Cole’s mouth: “What if we just got out of here? We could go anywhere, really, just… maybe it’s Hawkins, and it’s time go. Like we always said. Then all of this wouldn’t matter. I can fix everything.” Cole was embarrassed by his pleading tone.
Being co-host of the camping trip, Adam had had to spend awhile checking in on everyone else when they got back. A lot of theories were being thrown around, as well as stories from the cabin, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them. They sort of went over his head. He didn’t know what grabbed him and Cole, but it had felt stronger than algae. He couldn’t be sure, though.
Cole drifting away from the others wasn’t surprising to Adam. He understood needing a minute after all of that, and it was starting to get a bit cold out here now that the sun had gone down. Without asking, he passed Cole one of the hoodies he’d brought with him in his duffle bag. If anyone noticed that Cole was wearing his clothes, Adam was kind of beyond caring. He’d do anything that Cole needed him to do right now.
“You didn’t make it up,” Adam assured with sad eyes, hating that what had happened to them was real. If only it could have been some fucked up nightmare or something. “I’m fine,” He assured, giving Cole a small smile. Honestly, he was worried. But there were no physical marks on him, and he and Cole had both eventually made it to shore. Adam would be okay - this was just another weird thing to add to the list of awful stuff happening around him lately. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once he was sure they were safe, he squeezed Cole’s knee in reassurance.
As Cole began begging him to leave with him, Adam’s heart ached. That had always been the plan, hadn’t it? But Adam had fucked it up somehow three years ago, leaving Cole alone to pick up the pieces. And as much as Adam wanted to go now, he thought about his mother. His dad. Beth, Cindy. He couldn’t just leave them again. He couldn’t run away this time. When he and Cole left, they deserved to know in advance. “Cole,” Adam began sadly, squeezing his hand. “Cole, I want that so bad. I want us to go to California like we planned. I want that.” He assured him, voice steady because someone had to be. “But I can’t leave my family right now. My mom...I don’t think she’s sleeping much, these days. My dad calls home to check and make sure I’m still here every few hours when he’s at work. My sisters didn’t stop crying for hours when I finally came back,” Adam rambled, running a hand through his hair. “I just can’t go right now. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
WHO: Adam Richards & @loverboymontgomery
WHAT: A sweet lil fireside check-in
WHERE: Lovers’ Lake
Adam couldn’t begin to explain what had happened to them tonight on the shore. One minute, everything was fun and happy; the closest Adam had felt to normal since coming back. And then the waves had picked up, and he’d not been able to make it back to shore with Cole. Something had grabbed them both - Adam had felt it - but only Cole had gotten marks. None of it made any sense, and Adam was so fucking sick of nothing making sense.
He wished, more than anything, that he could just have normal issues to deal with for five minutes instead of whatever this stuff was.
After they’d made it back to the campsite, Adam had tried to stick as close to Cole as possible without being too clingy. He just needed to know that his boyfriend was okay. It had been scary for both of them, but Cole was the only one to actually get hurt from it. Maybe Adam hadn’t been grabbed as hard?
“Hey,” He greeted Cole later, when most people had drifted back towards the shore or to their tents. “How’s your ankle?” Sitting beside Cole at the fire, he offered him a drink and a small smile. Adam knew that the marks had disappeared from Cole’s leg - another thing he couldn’t explain - but he wasn’t sure if it still hurt. “I can go put some ice from the cooler in a bag, if you want. Or someone might have brought a First Aid kit.” That would have been a good idea for them, honestly.
