Cutting - Blog Posts
Just let me let go. I’m tired of trying.
Wishing Upon An Imaginary Shooting Star #2 // Å.G.P
You think that everyone is important, but for some reason you don’t think that applies to you.
It does. I promise. // Å.G.P.
Shh, Don’t make a sound, my love. They’ll never understand what you’ve done. No matter how far you haven’t come, they’ll still think that happiness won. If they hear about your pain, chances are things still won’t change. Maybe one day they will see, But by then you’ll just be a memory.
Å.G.P.
Tw!!!!!
Self harm
So this evening, i felt the urge to self harm when my parents made me feel like shit BUT instead of cutting myself like i wanted to, i went for a run and enjoyed a warm shower after that :)
I am so happy because to me, it is always a huge problem to resist the urge to self harm :)
I wish i didn't fall for you as hard and fast as i did. I hate myself for it. I want to die. I want to be ripped up and into shreds. I just dont want to exist anymore.
He just wants to be friends. Thats okay. Not like i loved you anything HAHA. After all we did too? Damn. I might cut too deep tonight.
"I wish I could've been the person child me would want to be like."
- Unknown
Lot 47
I've began to notice that most people keep track of when Colem Arth dies somewhere. When I asked why, they turned me to the dark science majors who live in Aspen Ward.
The dark scientists have discovered a weird side effect to Colem's curse. When he dies 4 times in a single place, nothing else can die in that place. They have extra stipulations, such as:
Dying 2 feet away from the location of the first death counts as dying there
The effect covers a maximum of 2 acres
The effect doesn't prevent woundings, unless the wound in and of itself would prove fatal.
Though they aren't prevented, wounds are meaningless. Fingers can be reattached, and cuts close immediately. The wounds are only permanent if they are still there when the victim leaves said area, upon which normal healing resumes.
This has only happened three times. The first place is, obviously, Colem Arth's house. They say he uses it as a safety zone when he gets sick of the whole dying thing, and that sometimes when he's absent he's just hiding at home to avoid getting hit by a truck or something equally terrible.
The second one the dark scientists refuse to tell me about. They gave no reason why.
The third site is the most well known location and the site where the 2 acre rule was discovered.
This is site is called Lot 47.
Lot 47 is a vacant field outside of Marcus Ward that was supposed to be a new shopping centre to attract tourists, but lost it's funding at the last moment. Now it's over grown, reclaimed by the woods and littered with random steel pipes and piles of cinder blocks.
Kids use it for LARPing.
"What? That can't be right." I wasn't sure I heard the dark scientists correctly.
But they confirmed it. The day before the weekend, starting from right when school ends to when the sun sets, ayone from fhe sixth grade and below uses the Lot as the site of war games and intense LARPs. Since the plants there never die and are also subject to the healing rule, they don't have to worry about set up and clean up only involves reattaching severed limbs, which is why its so popular, or so the dark scientists claim.
(A few even admit to having played there when they were at MSAA, and that the only reason the sunset rule exists is because Demon Collectives like to stalk the Lot at night.)
Still sensing my disbelief, the dark scientists told me that there was Capture the Flag scheduled the coming weekend, and told me to be there and I would see. They refused to answer my questions about why Colem was at Lot 47 enough times for it to be a "No-Kill Zone" or what even causes the effect. I was left with more questions than answers.
Instead, I simply went to Lot 47 the day of Capture the Flag.
They brought actual weapons. Sharpened swords, axes, pocket knives, one kid brought a bow and arrows without practice tips. No one was allowed to unsheathe their weapons until they passed a (presumably) stolen street sign with '47' spray painted on it. They quickly broke up into teams and ran into the Lot. A few moments later, an airhorn broke the silence, and the games began.
I simply wandered around the Lot, observing. The kids did hack each other to pieces....sort of. Cuts didn't bleed. Limbs fell off, and the person who lost it would just groan or give their attacker a stink eye and pick up the limb, then run away. One sixth grader got his head cut off. His attacker helped him fix it on, the previously beheaded kid simply said thanks, then ran away.
The bow and arrow kid shot me by mistake. It hit me in the thigh, and I cried out from shock. But....I didn't feel it. There was no pain or anything. I could feel it wiggling around inside of me, but it was more like having a finger pressed really hard on my thigh than being stabbed. The kid ran up, said "You aren't playing right?" And asked for his arrow back. I pulled it out no problem, and there was no blood on it. I checked my thigh, and there was no wound. All the damage it did was saved for my jeans. The kid gave me a quick sorry and ran off to rejoin the fight.
As promised, the end of the game was signaled by another airhorn when the sun began to set. At this point I was hanging closer to the edge to avois getting accidentally maimed again, but as the airhorn went off, I noticed a few figures beginning to approach. Shadowy, indescript figures with a bunch of red dots across their form, slowly approaching the Lot....
I got pulled away by a larger sixth grader who said we had to go "NOW". He pulled me away, back towards where the kids had entered the Lot, and I could still feel the shadows watching us leave....
The coming school day I asked Mr. Lingua the talking aardvark about Lot 47. He kind of shrugged and said "No ones getting hurt." Which I guess is sort of right....
The older adults in town seem to want to forget about Lot 47 in general....
