Death - Blog Posts
"Scream of heaven, a cold rain. Take me away. What are you waiting for? Take my hand. This world has never been my home." - Крик | Scream by MiatriSs I thought of drawing the scenes the first time I heard this song and watched the Music Video, trying to kind of recreate those key scenes. The original Idea belongs to MiatriSs.
H̶̨͍̭͚̝̖͎͑͊̀̀̍̊͊̿̈́̿͗͝ͅĄ̶̜͍̦̙̪̖̩͙̳͍̦̫̮̓̑̊́̾́̿̀̎̕L̷̛̹͓̳̣̫̈́̍̈́͆͆̍̆̿̆̆̕͜͠͝L̸̡̪͙͈͔̞̳̹͔̹̽̽̄̐͝Ȯ̵̙͖̬͖͖̘̮͈̗̰͆͆̈ͅW̴̡̺͖̩͔͙̓̔̅̃̑͑̔̈́͘Ȩ̵̢̙̤̘̪̙̩̖̇́͊̂̈́̾̕̚͝E̵̜͉͚̰͇̔Ṉ̴͕̞̻̩̟̲̮̑̎̀̏̈̎̉̌́͜ͅH̶̨͍̭͚̝̖͎͑͊̀̀̍̊͊̿̈́̿͗͝ͅĄ̶̜͍̦̙̪̖̩͙̳͍̦̫̮̓̑̊́̾́̿̀̎̕L̷̛̹͓̳̣̫̈́̍̈́͆͆̍̆̿̆̆̕͜͠͝L̸̡̪͙͈͔̞̳̹͔̹̽̽̄̐͝Ȯ̵̙͖̬͖͖̘̮͈̗̰͆͆̈ͅW̴̡̺͖̩͔͙̓̔̅̃̑͑̔̈́͘Ȩ̵̢̙̤̘̪̙̩̖̇́͊̂̈́̾̕̚͝E̵̜͉͚̰͇̔Ṉ̴͕̞̻̩̟̲̮̑̎̀̏̈̎̉̌́͜ͅH̶̨͍̭͚̝̖͎͑͊̀̀̍̊͊̿̈́̿͗͝ͅĄ̶̜͍̦̙̪̖̩͙̳͍̦̫̮̓̑̊́̾́̿̀̎̕L̷̛̹͓̳̣̫̈́̍̈́͆͆̍̆̿̆̆̕͜͠͝L̸̡̪͙͈͔̞̳̹͔̹̽̽̄̐͝Ȯ̵̙͖̬͖͖̘̮͈̗̰͆͆̈ͅW̴̡̺͖̩͔͙̓̔̅̃̑͑̔̈́͘Ȩ̵̢̙̤̘̪̙̩̖̇́͊̂̈́̾̕̚͝E̵̜͉͚̰͇̔Ṉ̴͕̞̻̩̟̲̮̑̎̀̏̈̎̉̌́͜ͅH̶̨͍̭͚̝̖͎͑͊̀̀̍̊͊̿̈́̿͗͝ͅĄ̶̜͍̦̙̪̖̩͙̳͍̦̫̮̓̑̊́̾́̿̀̎̕L̷̛̹͓̳̣̫̈́̍̈́͆͆̍̆̿̆̆̕͜͠͝L̸̡̪͙͈͔̞̳̹͔̹̽̽̄̐͝Ȯ̵̙͖̬͖͖̘̮͈̗̰͆͆̈ͅW̴̡̺͖̩͔͙̓̔̅̃̑͑̔̈́͘Ȩ̵̢̙̤̘̪̙̩̖̇́͊̂̈́̾̕̚͝E̵̜͉͚̰͇̔Ṉ̴͕̞̻̩̟̲̮̑̎̀̏̈̎̉̌́͜ͅ
"Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep"
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
~Mary Elizabeth Frye
"My dear, I have become so familiar with the loss of loved ones that death now seems like family and my grave feels like home."
It's been years.
It was yesterday and a century ago,
Your steps still echo in the rooms,
Your words still ring in my head.
You have been gone a long time,
And yet you live
You exist now in my dreams,
In the good ones, I recall your leaving.
It is in the nightmares where I forget.
They trick me,
put me in a trance and
make me believe again.
I wake up from the nightmares only to realize,
That they weren't real.
I want to believe that God is real. I want to believe that He created us in His image. I want to believe that He loves us unconditionally. I want to believe that everything is just a piece in the grand scheme of events. That everything that has happened will not be for naught.
It should be easy to have faith. After all, we have been taught this since we could speak. He loves us. He died for us. Then why is it so difficult to have this faith? To believe that God is real. But in believing that the all loving God is real, I will also have to admit that He doesn't give a damn about me.
They itch and hurt,
After everything I have tried to bury them,
they keep coming back up,
Crawling, scraping against my mind
they find a way to torment me every single time
Let them die, just like the one I shared them with.
I have often wondered what it was like to drown. I have held my breath long enough to hurt, but I could never hold it long enough to drift away. Water is unpredictable and when you're under its silence is calming. I have always loved the water, the silence it brings, nothing compares to it. It sounds like a good way to go.
When you drown, I believe it will hurt. It will hurt because you're denying your body that what it needs. But without oxygen, anyone would dream away. Once that happens, the pain will end. Peace will flood into you with the water that enters your lungs.
I have seen death more times than I would care to remember. I stared at its face as he loomed over my brother. I watched as he sat at the foot of my grandmother's bed. I looked him in the eye as he followed my grandfather. Each time I begged him to have mercy. To leave them alone. This was the first time that I gazed upon him and felt his embrace hoping he would take me with him.
Goodbye
Sandor Clegane, I will see you in the stars
*ME at D&D*
Rhaegal
*People during episode 3* “Is Rhaegal dead?”
*Watches episode 4*
*Me* “Well now he's dead”
I can't believe they killed another dragon.
Why did the Lord of Light bring Jon back?
So big part of Jon Snow’s life in GoT was of course his death. Then he was brought back by The Lord of Light for an unknown reason. Most people probably thought he was brought back to fight and kill the Night King. But the Night King was killed by Arya.
So why did the Lord of Light bring Jon back from the dead? Was it to fight in the Battle of the Bastards? To raise awareness of the White Walkers?
Why did he bring him back?
D&D at Beric
I’m sorry for the pain I will cause
Boom. This is for day twenty-four (skeleton) of ninjinktober.
" S h e ' s D e a d . "
Whose idea was finals week? Their name needs to go on my gravestone. Why is this all happening in the same week??
“Oh yes, suddenly I realized what a good thing death can be, how just and fair, like a disinfectant, or a vacuum cleaner.”
Olga Tokarczuk, DRIVE YOUR PLOW OVER THE BONES OF THE DEAD
I’m gonna make someone cry
What if the tick was actually immortal? What if he was still around when his sidekick got old? What if Arthur died of old age? What would The Tick do then? Imagine, Tick seeing his most favorite person in the world slowly pass away
I wrote this jokingly 😉TPOF spoilers, Machete x reader- Sucker ending
▪︎ Warning: Oral technically, death, machete being machete, gender neutral reader, desperation. Word count: 1474. - 10th june 2022
You were slowly dehydrated. Oh that wasn't all.
Throat painfully parched when swallowing, grimness all over your skin, the air was unbearably hot and humid as the morning sun, there barely any strength left in you as you continued huffing and running, probably looking like a fish out of water, across the desert sand.
Blindly going in any direction for cover, to survive, to escape, to find a place to hide; from them. The hunters.
You've been lucky so far while waiting it out in the fissure, cooling yourself down, doing breathing exercises that did little to help but distracted you at least. Everything was going to be fine. So you hoped until nearby, a bone chilling scream ripped through the peaceful silence, closely followed by a man's rugged laugh.
Squeezing your eyes shut to the world and noises of struggles, you felt yourself shaking. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry–' the only mantra you recited over and over in soft breaths, a crushing guilt weighing in your heart at the fact you didn't do anything.
'You knew you could've save someone, instead you chose to be a coward': said the furious voice inside. You chose to unhear it, automatically blaming yourself for everything that happens was just going to chip away at your sanity— so you willingly became a coward. Surviving suddenly became a top priority.
You stayed a little longer in a fetal position, long enough to see the sky dyed orangery with trails of yellow and red. Not knowing the screams had stopped at some point in time, the footsteps too. Yet you still hear it from time to time on repeat in your head.
One prey down, meaning including you, 3 was left. Mentally speaking, with each passing heart beat, hour or minute or however much time had passed by, you practically could feel your luck was running out.
In trying to get up to check whether you were truly alone, you fell accidentally onto your butt from your knees buckling. Hah. Is this how a heatstroke feels like? A grimaced smile appeared on your face as you stifled a laugh, It was morbidly comedic in a way.
From the dusty sand beneath your fingertips, the cooling breezes whipping by, and the pulsating dryness in your chest, dried sweat on your forehead. Reality couldn't feel any more realer as you stared into the setting sun.
Nothing felt real to you in that moment. A small blessing.
The outdoors was never an option you'd consider, too terrifying to imagine even camping; the unpredictability of nature and many dangers of the wilderness, the idea of not being alone in the middle of anywhere unsettled you to no ends— noisy bugs and critters at night, no doubt waiting to crawl inside your safety tent when left unguarded— those thoughts made fear rush through your blood that would've kept you up from enjoying any activities.
It wasn't just a preference to stay within your comfort zone in a cozy air-conditioned office or to spend your vacation days lazing inside with some books and family bonding, this introverted lifestyle chose you and you couldn't dare imagine it changing… But sometimes, a cruel part of yourself lets your mind wander off to the "what if?" scenarios— a torture to think about, an absolute nightmare.
Though running for your life in the desert, legs heavy, burning feet digging in the sand and dirt for leverage, there was no denying you were having a nightmare right now. Then you just need to wake up.
Simple.
Impossible, in your current exhausted condition, it's not as if you had any choice as you woke up less clothed than the night before, being auctioned off like an object in the dark then waking up once again in the worst place possible. The desert.
Ever since you were little you never liked the heat, to be fair that wasn't the only thing you disliked. Somewhat of a personal vendetta against the sun and anything related to the outside world.
You couldn't help it, comfort had been your priority, always. Maybe you've been spoiled for far too long.
Involuntarily you shivered, whether from the gut wrenching hunger or thirst, all sensations within your body blurred together. And in another moment, you realized at the same time as the icey-chill seeping into your bones, it was already night. Though looking around, no one was in sight, it wouldn't be wise to stick around one area.
With that in mind, you groggily got up, arms cramping, thankful your appetite had disappeared and your entire focus shifted to making it across to the camp site where it all started. Surely there should be some water and food stored if the hunters bothered setting up a shelter, right?
Your mouth salivated at the thought and a drool slipped past the corner of your dry lips before you hurriedly sucked it back into your mouth, desperate not to lose anymore moisture. This strengthened your resolve to push through the dark and sneak
right into the empty campsite despite the crepting fear of being caught slowing down your pace.
It didn't matter to you anymore the second you entered the ring of campfires light, basking in the warmth unfreezing your entire shivering body and reviving inside you, a new hope.
Your head felt clearer than ever and with a stronger hold onto what's left of your sanity, you objectively went to finding something to drink; scrambling through the opened wooden boxes, digging past rolls of rope that left scratchy souvenirs on your hands, unbranded bottles of alcohol and beers that seemed untouched.
Hurry, hurry, find it. Time was tiking and you felt watched by the shadows around you, even your own, casted by the campfire ominously. Where was it?! Water. Water. Wa. . .
A rustling of the tent fabric emgered in the precipice of your vision, and instinctively you ceased all actions immediately. Like a frightened animal, flight was your very first response. That slight movement startling you backwards and made you tripped over your own feet pathetically. Falling onto the cold sand on your side, the awkward angle numbing your arm in crushing pain.
"You won't be able to run." The plain masked man said, no, stated it like a set truth.
It probably was when your state was a heaving tired animal, maybe it was best to surender. . . You saw how cleanly he chopped a head off, it guaranteed a painless death, and so you turned slowly in his direction. And shakily looking up, saw him.
Machete. The only hunter without an animalistic themed mask, a blank slate covering his entire face.
His nickname was fitting, considering that his weapon is a machete, the very one he used to demonstrate his bloodlust at the beginning of the hunt. You'll never be able to forget that silver glint shinning in pure sunlight before severing a poor girl's head clean in the middle of the other hunters' 'fun,' disrupting them from further indulgence.
And when you made eye contact, the bright moon shone behind him, and that predatory look in his almond eyes drove you crazy right there and then. A burning hatred in them, starving and . Warming your cheeks as you closed your thighs subconsciously, the fluttering in your chest grew too much beyond a deafending amount. The feeling way too familiar for you not to recognize the signs.
Damn it. You just had to get a crush in the worst timing, in the worst situation in the history of your life.
He gave you nothing more than blank stares, then a finale look over before dragging his weapon over to you. The game of cat and mouse was over. You were dead meat, literally if you don't do something.
"P—please! I'll even su—suck your dick," you yelled out clinging to his pants, half in frustration and pleading. "I—I want to live." You became a blabbering mess, puffy swollen eyes and helpless tears and hiccups.
For the sake of self preservation, in that close second you experienced to death's door your brain folding into itself panicking to come up with a solution. Sell yourself. Whatever it takes to stay alive. Your body was useful.
Something in that weak plea of yours must've worked since the masked man stopped dead in his tracks, body language almost shocked at your desperation on display. You took it as a good sign and with the strength of adrenaline in you, you fiercely tugged and pulled down the side of his pants till his mid-thighs were exposed while he was still frozen, revealing the flaccid of what you wanted in the moonlight.
The shock must've wore off of him when you saw his large rough hand try to grab your head. "Sto—"
But you were quicker, faster than he expected as you blindly latched onto his penis like a starving leech, stuffing your mouth full of him. Mouth stuck to him, breathing finely though your nose while vacuum-sealling his fate.
In hindsight you really should've offered your own body instead of forcing yourself onto him— maybe that would've changed his mind.
The last thing you heard before seeing the g the sky upside down was a raggedy exhale of pleasure. ". . . For your sake, it's better this way."
-The End: You died(Joke Ending): You sucked-
Aaaaaaaa I love this book so much!!
I recently bought it a second time (because the German translation isn’t good and I prefer the original anyway). And they only had the old version available so I tried to create the perfect mix of both styles and ideas
Adam Silvera is an incredible author and this book is so heartbreakingly beautiful that you just have to read it !
It’s about tow boys who find out that they are going to die that day , how they meet and what they do on their last day on earth.
The second pictures obviously aren’t mine and neither is the story
These sketches just kinda happened while I listened to “the Raven king” by Maggie Stievater jet again
‘The magician and Dreamer” and “Dead but alive and alive but dead”
The first shows Adam and Ronan, the second Gansey and Noah
I’m still kind of searching for my art style so this is what that looks like
In light of barbenheimer I’ve been thinking a lot about what people who genuinely enjoyed both would like, and this is at the top of the list
Part 14: Painful Goodbyes...
ALT TEXT In case dialogue is not clear.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 (This one)
Art by: E. Manfredi Borselli Rucher
2019 Untitled
Penna biro su carta
Photo by Milvia
Kagehina - My celestial being
I hope you enjoy this! First time writing on Tumblr! Welp I write requests too so don't be afraid to drop in one! I'd love to write! Also gonna post a prompt list in some time, you can choose the prompt and character. Thanks!
Kageyama has been fond of nature ever since he was a kid. For him, it was entrancing how the moon seemed to keep up with him when no one else would, how the sun is always peeking up the horizon, or how the stars twinkle and light up the darkest nights.
Out of all these, the stars held a place in his heart nothing could replace. Why? The reason being his very beloved soulmate, Hinata.
“Tell me, Boke” Kageyama said softly, staring at the azure sky and the tiny astral bodies glimmering “Do you think people turn into stars once they die?”
“Well for one, we literally decompose or turn into ashes” Hinata’s soft chuckle soon turned into a sad and thoughtful smile as he continued, “Kags, death is not as pretty and peaceful nor is it poetic like people portray it to be, it exists, and it’s pretty much the end? It’s like having to leave everything in a moment's notice. Because it is the end, it’s sad”
He tilts his head to stare into his favourite pair of blueberry eyes, “But you know what, It’s okay to look up at the starry sky and think of your loved ones who left this world. My mom used to say that the brightest star was my grandma looking down on me.”
A few moments of silence are shared while Kageyama ponders over Hinara’s words.
He finds comfort knowing that even if someone dies, you can always look up to the sky and find them there, looking down at you and always watching you no matter what. The very fact that death does not mean gone forever is warm and consoling.
“Hinata, we’ll always be under the same sky, right? Forever and ever?” Kageyama asks, sitting up slightly extending his pinky toward the older male, cracking a small smile when their fingers interlock.
“I promise!”
Promises are not meant to be commemorative or colossal. Just a few words that has you looking forward to something is enough to become a promise
**********************************
“Today was long…. Very long and tiring” Kageyama says stretching and walking to sit down next to Hinata in the cool grass, inhaling the scent of the pine trees surrounding the house, “But I’m glad you’re here with me”
“You know I’ll always be here with you no matter what” Hinata smiles, as he rests his head against a pine tree behind him.
The black-haired boy slightly grins as he stares at the twinkling night sky littered with stars. He reaches out his hands in an attempt to pinpoint the brightest one.
“What are you doing, Kags?” His lover asks curiously with a melancholic smile on his face.
“I… I am…. I am reaching out for you” Kageyama quietly whispers as tears he’d been holding back started flowing down his face, “Hinata, I want to be there with you, set to you, laugh and play volleyball, hold you and just…. Love you for eternity but … I will forget you one day…. Right?”
The older boy nods ever so slowly, a tranquil expression on his face as he began, “That is the beauty of life isn’t it? No matter what happens, no matter how low and hard you fall, life goes on and because life goes on, you eventually heal and move on as well. That’s just how it works”
“I… I don’t want to forget you… I don’t want to move on, there’s only one thing I want and that is you. I want you to come back.” Kageyama let’s out a soft and exasperated sigh, closing his fist around the brightest star he can see.
“Kags, it’s okay, You have to move and meet new and amazing people. You have to find a new perfect spiker for you. Someone capable and worthy of your perfect sets. You have to live on because you are alive. But hey, don’t worry, I’ll always be here looking over you and protecting you. For I am your brightest star aren’t I?”
For death does not mean gone. Despite you not being alive, you live on in people you’ve met in your lifetime, the words you’ve spoken and the countless memories you’ve created.
**********************************
Kageyama rushes into his house, throwing his jacket onto the couch upon entering with a gold medal dangling around his neck. He makes his way excitedly toward the balcony of the open plant sanctuary. His heart beats with thrill as he places his hands on the railings of the balcony. He tightens his grip as he stares at the night sky.
“Say… Hinata, are you proud of me?” He lifts her gold medal and places a gentle kiss on it, “We won the olympics today. Just like I had promised you, I’d become the best setter, and set perfectly for another…. And win...” He chuckles softly continuing, “Everyone went out to celebrate except for me, you’re still the first person I share my happiness and sadness with...”
“I am so very proud of you, Kags. So much so that no amount of words could describe it.” Hinata smiles back widely, a luminous glow surrounding him under the pale moonlight. “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been and I am eternally grateful to know you feel the same way”
“Hey… Why are you crying? Today is a happy day isn’t it? Your dream came true!” The older boy states quietly, heart aching at the sight.
“What if… What if I never move on Hinata? What if I’m stuck right here forever, searching for you? What if I can never forget you?”
“HEY! You don’t have to forget me! It’s okay to remember me and love me, and cherish all our moments together” Hinata smiles gently, “but you are already doing amazing… You get up each day and live, you’re moving on slowly but surely, Kageyama you may not realise it right now but every little step is a big step toward healing.”
And Hinata is right
Healing is not linear, it’s not sudden. You don’t wake up feeling okay one day, that’s not how it works. It’s rough and patchy and requires a lot of work. You fall down again and again, you do well on some days while the others are absolutely trashy. You want to give up but you don’t, you keep living because you are alive, because it is something you must do.
And you don’t even realise that these ordinary tasks of everyday life are a step towards growth and healing.
Moving on doesn't mean forgetting the people you loved, it doesn’t mean letting go of what is no longer in your sight and control, it means life goes on and you live on.
Kageyama has been fond of nature since he was a kid because nature is warm, like a blanket of love, on cold rainy days.
And what more does anyone desire from life except for being loved and protected?
THE END