Did System - Blog Posts
ME WHEN I OPEN AO3 TO TRY AND FIND A GOOD PETER PARKER SYSTEM FIC AND FIND OURS AND DECIDE TO READ IT BECAUSE I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF WHAT WAS WROTE
why tf do endos treat being a system like its an identity that you can pick and choose to label? why do they constantly push the transphobic rhetoric of using "traumascum" to refer to traumatized individuals that just dont want people to treat their symptoms like its fun?
being plural/being a system is nothing like being lgbtq+ and i really think we need to stop treating it as such
yes we are a community, but this community is one formed on the basis of being traumatized as kids, its not based on something we choose to refer to ourselves as
we need to be there to support each other but not blindly. we need to help spread information to others with the symptoms so they can receive help.
you wouldnt treat people with personality disorders the way you treat systems so why is it acceptable to treat systems this way?
i think the worst part about being disabled is knowing that it’ll impact the way i go through my entire life and it’ll impact every single relationship i ever have.
it especially really hurts to know that i will never be able to live a full life without issues because of choices my parents made that resulted in me having disorders like dissociative identity disorder and ptsd. i will never be able to heal from those completely and its not even my fault. i’ll never have the chance to fully say this body is mine and always has been. and i’ll forever have to know that at any point these disorders could cause me issues with the people i care about and its not even my fault that i have these disorders. im not even responsible for why im like this. like i dont get to wake up and choose to be a successful person, i was forced into being multiple people by others actions. and that hurts so much.
Hito, just chilling, working our barista shift in his wig on Halloween: 🕺
Our Manager, dressed as Aizawa: What are you doing, problem child?
Hito: 🧍🏃🥲
i was not prepared for my manager to call me a nickname from my source
its a well known nickname between the characters she and i were dressed as
but i wasnt just cosplaying. i was actually just dressing as myself and it took me so off guard. because for just a moment it was like i was home again.
im going to ask steven out after we get out of school today. debating on if ill get him a tea or coffee. probably a tea. i hope he says yes.
i really like him. hes so smart and kind. and he always gives the best hugs and im scared to lose him.
-marc
me when marc and steven are simping over each other and im just third wheeling everytime we’re all in front together
-jake
ok since some of you idiots who enjoy watching Moon Knight don’t understand shit I’m going to explain it.
(*Moon Knight Ep 5 Spoilers towards the end*)
First off, Marc, Steven, and Jake are part of a system. Because of the childhood trauma they faced in childhood they developed Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Which means that because of the constant pressure and traumatic events happening to them their psyche fracture. Marc, Steven, and Jake are all fragments of one collective.
Secondly, Marc did NOT “create” Steven. The brain split both Steven and Marc to do seperate tasks. Marc to hold traumatic memories and protect the others. And Steven to keep them going, keep their area clean, keep them healthy.
Thirdly, they are all seperate people, they have different thought processes, different emotions, and different reactions, but they CANNOT exist by themselves. They need each other to be able to get through life. The creators of the show have had several professionals and people with the disorder talk to them about this stuff and how to portray it well.
That means they are aware that Marc didn’t create Steven and that they can’t exist without each other. So no they won’t stay seperate even if Steven has supposedly died and become sand and Marc is in the field of reeds.
Now stop for the love of fucking god calling them personalities, they’re alters, and stop calling Marc the original, THERE IS NO ORIGINAL WHEN YOU HAVE THIS DISORDER!
if i see one more person calling marc the “original” or saying he “created” steven and jake i am going to actually lose my freakin mind.
That! Is! Not! How! This! Works!
do some god damn research before making uneducated assumptions on how dissociative identity disorder works
sincerely, signed,
an anonymous introject from the show
we’re such a mess but in such a fun chaotic way
we’re simultaneously reading “Pride And Prejudice”, writing our own queer murder mystery academia novel, writing a superhero novel, writing not one, not two, not three, but four fanfics from different fandoms, and rewatching both Moon Knight and Our Flag Means Death over and over and over again
I really don’t know what this system needs but it’s probably more therapy
Alright! So now that Moon Knight episode one is out I’d like to talk about it!
So first off! I thought that it was actually incredibly well written and portrayed D.I.D. almost perfectly. It showcased a lot of the issues most of us deal with (the waking up somewhere else, the sleep issues in general, the paranoia, the awkwardness of not knowing whats going on so you cant tell people whats wrong and such, and the just general questioning of reality). It was honestly extremely similar for us when we first started discovering the system and stuff.
So yea! I definitely liked it and am really excited to see where the rest of it goes!
But! I’ve already seen some posts and stuff about Steven and I want you all to remember that Steven is a grown man. While yes he may be confused and not know what’s going on do not treat him like some poor thing that needs to be protected at all costs. He’s just trying to live his life while slowly discovering the other alters in the system!
I would also like to mention please please please don’t refer to the alters as personalities! Personalities is a term originating from when D.I.D. used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. The name for the disorder was changed because of new research and the fact that we are not personalities!!! Alters are their own people and you should not refer to them as personalities!!!
Friendly reminder with Moon Knight coming out tomorrow;
PEOPLE WITH D.I.D. ACTUALLY EXIST AND HAVE FEELINGS
While the cast have come forward to say they tried their best to portray this disorder, they still probably won’t get it completely. And that’s ok, because at least it’ll be better representation than anything else we’ve had (hopefully).
What won’t be ok is if any of you singlets out there start treating it like its not something that seriously affects a lot of people or if you start infantilizing one of the alters of the main character. There are so many of us systems out here who really want to enjoy this show but if a bunch of you non-systems decide to take this disorder and not do any proper research on it before talking about it you could be ruining so many of our experiences with this show. So please, just remember this show is portraying an actual disorder many people have and regardless of if you think you’re spreading good information or not always double check your facts with someone who actually has the disorder.
this hit me like a truck
you’ve been missing for years. you’ve been missing for seconds. you don’t know where you’re supposed to be. it’s not here.
That feeling when doom scrolling is interrupted by seemingly harmless fandom content for a fictive in your system, so said fictive is reading over your shoulder and then gets gut punched in the feels half way through because something hit way closer to home than expected
Some gatekeepers and overseers in our system are chill looking people who help take care of everyone else, and others are creepy ass motherfuckers like this *glares at Michael*
Insomnia by Vincenzo Lamolinara
No shade to op, in fact I understand and respect where you're coming from. I personally would just be careful with the phrasing here, because it sounds like what you're saying is that some systems are faking which, even if they were, saying so causes a lot more harm than good
Instead, how I personally would go about this particular topic is that if you are a system, then there's probably something you don't remember, or something that you haven't recognized as trauma, or you have a lot of processing ahead of you, so maybe be gentle with yourself, and be open to the possibility that maybe things actually were that bad, and you weren't being dramatic, and you were hurt that badly
But that's just my thoughts. I wish everyone the best of luck on their journeys through this tangled world
PSA
This is your reminder that OSDDID and systems cannot form without trauma, endogenic systems are not a real thing. If you do not have trauma, then you do not have a system.
-Barty&Marlene
As we've learned more about what it means to be a system, and to share a life with multiple people in one brain and one body, one of the many things we've come to accept is that we don't always get to know who's fronting and who's saying or doing something. Sometimes someone (we have no idea who) will take over for less than ten seconds just to make a ridiculous sound and send everyone else into a giggle fit XD
Existence is strange and nothing makes sense, help
"And they were both systems" - A beloved weasel friend
"If I was faking being a system, then I would make it make more sense" - @the-sea-glass-system
Sometimes being a system is coming out of hyperfocus and finding someone had doodled all over the body in pen
So funny story! When we were first learning about systems and DID and everything, we learned that denial is a massive symptom that's baked into the foundation of how systems function, so right off the bat we put in a lot of work to accept that we are a system, and build an internal structure of reassurance specifically for our existence as a system.
However! Our brain still found all kinds of ways to trip us up with denial! And it's been a constant frustrating battle. For several years we thought that we were an "average" sized system of about seven to ten headmates, and only recently have we been able to drop enough denial barriers to find that there's actually close to a hundred of us in here. Even after that, it took months to actually see the fictives from our biggest comfort medias (percy jackson and the heroes of olympus, avatar the last air bender, and others) because for some reason our brain thought that large system was bad so "nu-uh" and fictives from "childish" comfort sources were also somehow bad so "what fictives?" and it's been so much chaos T-T
Just the other day someone was going through and updating our system server and poked into channels they didn't recognize and then got smacked in the face with vibes that are obviously in our system somewhere, the person has full on had conversations at some point, and we just completely forgot they existed several times
So basically, yes, a lot, denial comes in all kinds of nasty packages and it's such a pain in the butt and you're not alone <3
Question for systems:
How often do you go into denial or convince yourself that you faked everything/your headmates have disappeared?
helloo ! ive been wanting to ask if you have any specific tips or things to focus on while writing characters with DID ! im not a system myself but psychology in general has been a topic that ive always been interested in and want to depict it to the best of my ability + i love your art and wish you the best ^^
Good question!
Writing about DID/OSDD is incredibly difficult- even I a system probably couldn’t do it, but I can give you some advice regardless. Obviously saying “research” is expected, but finding good research on it is hard. As always I recommend as a starter for understanding the fundamentals of the disorder : “The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and Treatment of Chronic Traumatization” just look that up and I’m sure you can find it on the internet archive or docdriod. As a rule of thumb don’t trust system tiktok, tumblr, carrds, or any personal account to get the majority of your information from just because there’s an incredible amount of misinformation (of course there’s plenty others on there who probably know what they are talking about, but I’d always recommend using credible peer reviewed sources.)
With the research disclaimer thing out of the way here’s a few points:
-It’s a trauma based disorder, everything is structured around trauma. Not just a singular trauma but repeated emotional, physical, and typically sexual trauma that is experienced under the age of 10 (You don’t need all three, just a lot of systems experience a mix of trauma) To write DID/OSDD right you should be able to write child traumatization accurately and be comfortable with writing it.
-There is a vast amount of different experiences with DID/OSDD. There are varying levels of amnesia, alter presentations, system structures etc. not all systems use plural terms, have names for alters, or have much personality differentiation between alters. The experience of a Osdd1a system will be different to a DID system, so you’d probably want to look into the specifics of those differences and stick to one type of system.
-Try to avoid misconceptions and DID tropes in media. The most obvious one I can think of is “the evil alter” trope, there’s quite a lot of demonization of the disorder so you have to be critical when viewing media depicting it (fuck the split movie).
-unless it’s apart of a character arc avoid the uncritical idea that alters are just their source. it’s healthy for them to branch out and expand from their baseline purpose and identity.
As for things I’d like to see in DID/OSDD rep it’d be:
-representing extreme denial
-loss of time
-source separation would be cool
-fusion and dormancy being mentioned
A lot of media hyper focuses on Alters when that is only one aspect of system hood. I think I’d be cool to look at the other symptoms.
But overall, it would be a really hard task to write a system especially without being one. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it’s easy to fall into misrepresentation even if it’s well meaning (it’s easy to do that even if a person is a system, that’s why I’m too scared to write it) If you are going to do it, do a very thorough amount of research before you develop an idea of a character. I know I sound really upset at the idea, I’m not I do really like the idea of representation- but DID/OSDD is such a stigmatized disorder that you have to be so so so careful not to add onto the stigma. I do believe it’s possible to do it right though! I wish you luck and thank you for the compliment.
Oh i see you reblogged some tulpa and endo stuff :( are you not actually a system?
This is so incredibly disappointing to read.
I can genuinely only assume you're young and/or don't know any better, but what a person reblogs does not dictate who/what they are. My reasons for reblogging stuff can swing from, "I like it" to "I support it" to "this resonates with me in some way" and that last one has a sliding scale of "haha, funny" to "this is EXACTLY my experience" and you CANNOT KNOW which of these things it is, because you are not me/mine.
(Remember, we're a System, so some of these reblogs might even just be others' opinions/experiences/enjoyments, and not necessarily "mine". 😉👍)
Besides all that, you CANNOT dictate who is a "real" System and who is not. Endo Systems are just as valid as other Systems to me because I'm not going to sit here and pretend I know everything about the human brain, mental disorders, or even OSDD/DID, because I don't. YOU don't. Medical professionals don't. This research is VERY VERY NEW and mostly fueled by the plural community at this point. This science is also incredibly wibbly because it's about feelings and constructs no one can see, feel, taste, hear, etc. It's an entire disorder built on trusting that the host isn't lying, and - for that reason alone - we should stop pointing fingers and trying to tell people, "You're not valid! You reblogged someones tulpa post!"
...so?
Who cares???
I don't even know wtf a "tulpa" is. I don't care. I reblogged something I liked— BIG WHOOP!!
But even then, you - as an individual who I DO NOT KNOW, but (most importantly) DOES NOT KNOW ME - CANNOT judge what is real to me and my life experiences, just like I can't judge yours.
Keep an open mind. Be kind. Do not feed into the social media cesspool mentality of right VS wrong, black VS white.
Life is full of color. Don't dim your world view just because some asshat on Twitter told you to do so.
I GET IT I GET IT !!!
realizing youre Real is .weird,,
like you can exist for Years??? never noticing??? never thinking about Yourself. assuming you are the host, or assuming you are another alter.
it is WEIRD to sit there with your morning coffee, having a conversation, and just suddenly the stars align . and you realize how different you are from "you" . you realize you werent "you", you were actually YOU the whole time.
I KNOW THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT I HOPE SOMEONE GETS IT
being an artist as a DID system is finding artworks u didnt draw and in a completely diff art style and i personally love it
imma post a comparison sometime if yall want
nsfw// okay anotha system thing but yall ever jus in front w someone and watch that dominant alter go wild when you submissive AF? jus me? 😭
uhhhh DND campaign starts again soon and all i can think about is how this one time i was stuck there with only 2/7ish people knowing were a system and i had no idea what the fuck i was doing bc nobody who usually played DND was fronting HELP and our friend (were out to) tried helping me but i was so fucking useless LMAOO honestly DND is not for me the entire time i was thinking 'bring bullying back'