Disassociation - Blog Posts
When you struggle with identity loss so you just adopt that as your identity.
Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.
Trigger warning
And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves
They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user
Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center
DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)
Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren
Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time
Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability
Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability
Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability
Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)
Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)
ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)
Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling
ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.
Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc
I hate disassociating when I’m trying to do things that require active consciousness/control because my brain wants to check out and I’m like “No we have Tasks” and so to be a brat my brain says “fine but you’ll have to think about every little thing you want your body to do”
it's okay. it's over now. they won't hurt you again. / @wolfvirago
the deathly silent, yet piercing klaxon ring of panic was still racing through chrissy’s every vein and nerve. once upon a time, she used to think she understood pain. on the inside where secrets festered like ulcers, dirty, hidden things that she never dared give volume to, detectable by even to the kindest of eyes. on the outside, where exhaustion’s strains warred against endurance, her body warping to the airborne twists of cheerleading, the rippling jar through her tendons when a landing skewed wrong.
this pain.... it touched places inside that chrissy never knew she possessed.
no clocks chimed in any place but her sanguine-dyed memories. no slithering vines attached to a more sophisticated, crueler will. the hollow in the tree trunk she’d huddled against was not molded to the shape of her form crumpled and tortured by the supernatural. nothing touched her but the warming air of early summer trapped close to the ground by moss and pine needles, and the soft-spoken breath of the older girl.
through it all, the skies had the audacity to be blue. blue like the day in march that she broke. and chrissy wept quietly.
❝ you can know that? how can you know that? ❞
whispered doubt thought it was, chrissy could not manage to hide the layers of unbelief still left despite witnessing a thousand impossibilities. impossible until the beginning of spring break. ( and years before that according to rumours that could very well be total truths for all the cheerleader knew, now. ) among all the strange she was asked to believe, what remained unacceptable was assurance unasked for, unearned.
help was an allergy. no acceptance without resistance. years of shying gradually away from hands that might stretch in her direction had not released their hold. the upside down had changed chrissy cunningham to her core, but it had not reversed everything.
what she was hearing......there was no way it could be as true as the jut of dry bark against her side. could it?
❝ the things that are in my head.... i don’t think they can come out. no one has to do anything to me for it to still hurt. ❞
self destructing to feel in control only to realise you might not actually be in control, and "your actions" might just be someone or something making decisions for you.
All my nd peeps
Me, explaining disassociation to my neurotypical mother:
Her: what?? That’s a thing you do? Are you okay????
Two days later…
Me, explaining disassociation to an ADHD friend:
Her: Oh fuck, there’s a name for that??? Cool
you know?? That feeling like ah, so I’m not the only one, great lmao