Self Destructive - Blog Posts
F A D E A W A Y
I lost sense of self as I watched myself fading away with time.
Making me a museum of memories;
A figment of your imagination.
An immolation,
An abstract thought.
- the result of desire.
Do i need to add more??
Did this some time in summer when I was in a mood. Thankfully don't feel this way anymore but I was in a bad place on and off for a few years.
Times for when you can't seem to control your circumstances and what you do control is less helpful and more harmful. Sometimes I'd like that beaten out of me from someone who cares so much they are blinded by a rage built from being fed up from just watching and waiting for their partner to wake up. They've been there the whole time.
I was going to make this piece into a triptych but I don't feel like doing that anymore. SO much work to rebuild the lining and lighting hahhaah. Have the unfinished sweet aftermath.
These two have been a blessing, Although fictional, drawing them never fails to help me through the most funnest times.
wanting someone to notice that I'm not ok but the urge to keep going is so much stonger. I want to be rotting inside before they realise
being bigger than my sister is honestly so embarrassing for me. she's 15 years older than me and I'm still fatter than her. I want to carve the fat off my body until there's nothing left but skin and bones
self destructing to feel in control only to realise you might not actually be in control, and "your actions" might just be someone or something making decisions for you.