Explosivestorm - Blog Posts

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THAT CONFLICT HAD BEEN A MERE EXCUSE FOR Yuna not to step into Ueda anymore, lest she wished to act on her impulse and strangle that man. The low chuckle once that image popped into her mind was revealing how pleased she would be if she did that. However, Yuna had to be mindful of the people who worked for that man, along with his family. They did not need to be needlessly involved into a dispute which did not concern them, nor had to suffer pointlessly. It was a clash of ideals, nothing which would have incurred her wrath enough to kill him. Perhaps the desire to see him cornered was tempting, yet out of respect for the people who believed in him, she would lay low, thus the decision to avoid going into Ueda. Meeting with Anastasia or Isanami could always occur in other locations, rather than there. Yuna did not mind and it was better anyway.

❝ So, did he complain that somebody did not respect him and it was a woman, above all? ❞ No matter how kindly Isanami spoke of him, Yuna would not share that opinion, thus she propped her cheek into the palm of her hand, her tone dull and lacking interest. It was too bad he did not have a proper reaction and chose to keep that facade and only showed a bit of emotion slipping. What a boring man. Perhaps even their conflict could have been solved, would he actually be genuine to his emotions. Although it sounded.. fake coming from her, who had so much difficulty showing how she felt, at least in such situations, she did her best to convey what was important, rather than allow misunderstandings step in. ❝ My only satisfaction, well partly, is that I hit him hard enough for his cheek to be swollen, haha. That should have hurt, but that is not even an ounce of how people feel. Perhaps not now, but leadership can be a burden which weights too heavily if not handled properly. ❞

It was a weight she carried as well, all alone. No matter how many people stretched out a hand, she barely relied on them. There were things only she could do and should do, without having to take those hands and ask for help, but they were still there. It was only because she would rely and trust them. Because instead of being a leader, most of times she chose to be one of them and listen to them, rather than selfishly take decisions. For someone as him who did not show anything but that irritating smile, for how long would people be able to trust him, to put their lives into his hands? For somebody such as herself, that was nothing but a time problem, which could be decided any moment. That kind of leadership was a gamble, because in the end, no one could understand him. Was he even a bit close to the people who chose to follow him, aside the Braves? Even then, she doubted there was any kind of connection aside his self-interest for whatever purpose.

❝ My bad to contradict you, Anastasia, but I know plenty people who would be frustrated with his way of leading. ❞ No matter in what kind of good light she tried to pain him, Yuna did not see Yukimura that way. Not after their little spat and how little consideration he showed towards one of his fallen subordinates. Even if Hanzo proved to be alive at that time, it did not change the fact that he treated that death… lightly. While she could understand the importance of not showing weakness, of being a figure on whom people could rely, it did not mean they did not wish to see a glimpse of emotion from their leader. ❝ If they would have Yukimura as the one who leads them, well.. I can only imagine the worst case scenario. I am not perfect either as a leader, however I do try to show sympathy and solidarity when people need it, when the situation requires it even if moments after, I return to being myself and make the right decisions. Even if my heart breaks apart, I let my people know that they can count of me and that I understand their emotions, even if a little. Sometimes, this is more than enough for people to feel close to their leader, to gain more trust and actually feel like the person they follow does what they can in spite of how tough a situation is. ❞

Considering how much they mentioned Yukimura in that conversation, Yuna hoped he was hicupping somewhere. That thought alone made her snicker in amusement. However, if Anastasia said she was alright with him as a lord, she could let that little dispute slide. Only out of consideration for her. Rubbing her temples, as that man was giving her a headache even when not present, she could only blankly stare at the woman when she was told she would deny them their pay if she chose to do anything to Yukimura. With a defeated sigh, she rose her head towards the sky, allowing the gentle wind caress her locks. ❝ Yes, yes, whatever you say. I hope he hiccups until he dies then. If I had the chance to redo things of that day, I would do them in the same fashion anyway. ❞

     Anastasia sighs a little when her friend makes her comment. Complain? Not… quite. “Lord Sanada informed his page what happened because he had an obvious bruise on his cheek and had done some damage to his room – if he hadn’t explained what had happened, I think Rokurou would have worried that he’d been attacked by an enemy shinobi.” Not quite complaining. It was to keep the Page – the BRAVE of WATER from panicking about the safety of his Lord, especially right before a war was to break out. “… I know you dislike him, but you’re acting like he’s a complaining child.”

      It was a funny mental image, even if inaccurate. Yukimura could be a bit childish, so the fact that she could imagine him sort of whining about it was funny. And had he been in a better mood at the time, there was a good chance he might have “WHINED” about it towards his page in hopes of getting some sympathy points from his strict right-hand-man.

     However, the blond woman falls silent again as the other spoke. Sapphire eyes watching as the crimson-eyed woman spoke. It was . . . curious. As an IGA shinobi, she couldn’t entirely understand where the two of them were being so stubborn. Anastasia had always been business first, herself. And YUKIMURA was emotional most times – though a steeled leader when it came to emergencies. Yuna? She appeared to be somewhere… in between those things. ‘… it’s sort of charming.’ Honestly, she could barely keep herself from smiling – though she managed to, out of respect for the others frustration.

      It wasn’t until Yuna stopped speaking again that she waved her hand in a somewhat dismissive manner. “I know you mean no disrespect to me by saying those things.” The BRAVE of ICE reassures, laughing softly. “You’re entirely correct. I know many people who his leading style would only frustrate them. However, I’ve… come to feel right at home there. He… actually sort of reminds me of one of my old teachers, in Iga.” To be honest, the Russian kunoichi rarely spoke of IGA. Especially after everything had happened – but? Now that she was really thinking about it, she was starting to wonder if that was part of the reason she actually enjoyed working under that eccentric man. He sort of reminded her of h i m . . . the man who had gone out of his way to save her from her enslavement. “… though, I somehow feel as though you’d hate my teacher even worse then my lord, so? Perhaps I should… leave that conversation alone for now.” Her… “TEACHER” was a rather odd topic. And if Yuna disliked Yukimura, perhaps it was best she knew very little of that man. It seemed like it would just further boil the others blood…

      “… I can’t say I agree with your assessment as a leader, though. He shows plenty of sympathy to those in his employ, and he shows his compassion while at work. I’ve never seen a lord risk his own life for one of his guards before, and yet? When I betrayed the team before – he was quick to get to Rokurou’s side and make sure he recovered. If he hadn’t done that, he would be dead.” And if it wasn’t for the quick actions that happened around then – there was a chance that Anastasia would have done more then destroy his eye, and stab SASUKE through. ( a time she wasn’t proud of, but? she would bring it up all the same. ) “He personally sat by his page’s side to be sure of his recovery, taking care of him even though he’d lost the thing that had made him so valuable in the first place.” Anastasia continues, laughing at little at the absurdity of the thought. The reason the UNNO family was important was because of that e y e . . . and yet, Yukimura had kept him there even after he’d lost it. When most would have fired him… That was the world they lived in. If you lost your use, you weren’t worth keeping around anymore.

     And yet, that wasn’t how ether SANADA worked. And both employed the UNNO TWINS, despite the absurdity of “t w i n s” in this country…

      “I’m starting to wonder if a big part of your disconnect has to do with the fact that you are someone who wasn’t particularly close to him yet… I’ve truly never seen this ‘cold’ side of him, that you’ve mentioned. Once I was hired, I became part of his Braves, and no such wall was shown to me. Yes, that… irritating smile has always been a part of him. But, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the side of him you’re talking about. Not even when he hired me once again.” When he’d welcomed her back, it was his genuine KINDNESS that had hurt her the most. Shackling her here . . . Honestly, she’d expected to be killed. And she would have been alright with that, and yet? That wasn’t what happened. “Oh maybe,” she adds, laughing softly – amusement beginning to shine in her eyes a little. “He’s heard about your connection to his brother.”

     Yukimura was an interesting one – and he had a lot of RESPECT for his elder brother. Though? They’d never been particularly close. In fact, there were times that Yukimura appeared afraid of his elder brothers “RAGE.” Nobuyuki only showed that irritated side around the younger SANADA…

     There was a good chance that YUKIMURA had made up his mind to not get to know her better, especially if he heard that Nobuyuki and Yuna had amicable relations. After all: Nobuyuki appeared to have a complex when it came to his brother – Yukimura wouldn’t have wanted to interfere if Nobuyuki was making a friend. And he certainly wouldn’t have wanted to dampen the chances of them getting along by also imputing himself.

      “… sorry, sorry. It appears I’ve managed to annoy you, friend.” Anastasia continues then, watching the other rub at her temples – a headache, she would imagine. “Talking about him probably isn’t helping with that, I’d imagine. Forgive me. Though,” she snickers at the thought of the LORD of UEDA with severe hiccups – oh goodness. At this time of the day? Rokurou would scold him, likely thinking that he’d gotten to drinking far too early. “I love the thought of him hiccupping uncontrollably. He’d be so frustrated. I would imagine he’d be pouting now, then. And, though I do enjoy working for my Lord... it’s actually nice to talk to someone who is from the outside of all of this. It gives me... another view of the situation. I enjoy our talks.”

explosivestorm:

NONETHELESS SHE SOUGHT DARKNESS BY HERSELF. Those days spent by Izanami’s side taught her a valuable lesson. However to speak of them with others, to reveals those secrets they shared together was something which she would refrain from doing. Whatever fragment of sympathy ( if there was anything left ) which the goddess had for her would not be broken apart. That trust would not be betrayed. If anything, whatever happened would remain between them. Feeling at ease as she kept on hearing Ana speaking, Yuna wondered for a brief moment about her own story. Regardless of her dispute with Yukimura, was Ana truly happy?

❝ Not in the slightest. I am at peace with what happened back then. Whatever consequences, I will confront them. However.. ❞ Hesitation was present into her voice, her tone becoming slightly lower than normal. Yuna was not certain of how to bring that certain topic to Anastasia. Whatever happened, she should not get involved, but how could she just abandon somebody whom she deemed as friend? Perhaps it was an action based on her grudge towards Yukimura, but.. she often wondered whether she was happy there. ❝ Are you happy being there? You must be aware now of my…. dispute with that man. ❞ It had been more than a dispute. It reached the point where Yuna did not wish to cross paths with him again. Somebody as proud as herself would not lower herself to apologize for something which she was in the right.

Taking in a deep breathe, she chose to stop hesitating and confront Ana regardless of whether she would be wrong or not. ❝ I wonder whether you feel well there or not. I told him I believe he considers you all as pawns and I still believe that. I am aware that you and Hanzo are not on friendly terms, but when I confronted Yukimura about his death… ❞ That gaze, those words.. even recalling everything made Yuna’s blood boil. At that time she was hesitating a lot, those words she said being spilled out in a fit of anger. Now if she could repeat that scene, she would have done everything in a different way. ❝ Honestly, I prefer not to see his face ever again, so you will not see me again in Ueda. I will not apologize for something I said and believe in strongly. But this does not mean I do not care about you or have respect for you and the others as he claims. Haha, I still want to hit him. A real hit this time. ❞

      “As long as you are willing to face the consequences headfirst, you should be able to overcome them eventually.” Anastasia responds with a bit of a hum – nodding a little, approvingly. The truth was, that was part of her problem when she had originally returned. It had been done so as … final act. She had returned to UEDA with the understanding that she would die.

      Almost the H O P E for death.

      However, when she’d been granted an extension to her life, when she’d been accepted amongst them again as the terms for her “f o r g i v e n e s s” . . . she’d felt TRAPPED. Sometimes, that man’s kindness was horribly crippling. It was K I N D, but it was manipulative. He’d known from the moment he spoke that his kindness was a binding c o n t r a c t. If Anastasia had had any other goals, dreams, or aspirations, they would have died on the spot. However, her dreams had died before that day, regardless. “… I’m aware of your conflict with our Lord, yes.” Anastasia responds, somewhat… carefully. “I wasn’t informed of it by the Lord himself, Sanada-sama has mostly kept the situation to himself, with the exception of his page – Rokurou-san. I simply happened to overhear about it when they were talking.” Honestly? She wasn’t sure what to make of the situation herself, since she hadn’t been there. And as she wasn’t properly informed? She was slow to make a judgement call on the situation… However? As the other asks about her own situation, Anastasia offers a soft smile. “I’m fine, Yuna-san. Sanada-sama has been more then lenient with me, and. . . even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled by his decision to employ me again at first? I’m… grateful that he did. It gave me a chance to redeem myself. It’s… given me the chance to make things right with people. And... I didn’t know how much I needed that.”

      Though she had resented H I M for it at first, Anastasia knew that without his kindness she would have never been able to make things right with Isanami. She would have never been able to apologize to Sasuke. Or work towards redemption in Saizou’s eyes. Or even get to speak to ROKUROU about what she’d done to his e y e. . . They were dear friends of hers, and if she’d left things as they were? She would have DIED a traitor.

      However, as the other continues to talk, Anastasia falls silent again. The RUSSIAN Kunoichi interested to hear what her friends was speaking. It was… interesting to hear that. From an outsiders perspective, perhaps it did look that way, but? After the other finishes speaking, she offers a slight nod – “… I can see where you might think that. I believed the same at first.” It was the honest truth. She’d HATED Yukimura years ago, judged him immediately due to his being a feudal LORD whose title had been granted to him from W A R. And the fact was – LORD tended to treat their underlings like pawns and playthings. She knew that VERY personally. And yet? “It’s impossible for me to dispute that it might seem that way, however? I can say this with absolute certainty: Yukimura is the best possible lord for me and those who are in his employ. He’s… unique. Weird. But he absolutely see’s us all as people, or? We wouldn’t still be there.” Saizou in specific was who she was thinking of. The young man who had had such skills – but had abandoned the idea of ever getting a lord. Yukimura was the one who had given him any faith in serving others again.

      “I do not fault you for following your ideals. You should do what you think is best.” Anastasia believed that. If Yuna thought it was best to not return, then perhaps it was best. “I don’t claim to understand that man – so I can’t say what’s running through his head. I can’t imagine what it was that he said to you about Hanzo’s disappearance.” In fact, she couldn’t be sympathetic when it came to that at all. When it came to Hanzo, she STILL hated him. He’d deceived her and used her as a weapon against the others. So? Despite being willing to work with him, because she was professional, she did hate him. “And you should hit him again. Honestly, most of us spend our time exhausted with his antics… and most of us would like to hit him to. But? I would like to put forth that you should reframe from doing any real damage to him. We’re the only ones who are supposed to beat our lord up.” She offers with a smile and a soft laugh – ( Rokurou half burst the lords eardrums every other day with that technique of his… so… ) “We’re also paid to keep him from any real damage – so? You’d be denying us our pay if you got a real hit in.”

❝I heard you called a certain someone a 'bully'.❞ What a hilarious, childish name. She knew of that man's true nature having witnessed it first-hand, growing accustomed to it, welcoming that darkness herself. A snort soon followed. ❝I wonder if you would say the same to his face. Whatever you might believe after me after that fall-out we had, he is ten-- no, an infinite time worse. I would be careful if I were you, but you can ignore my advice.❞ [ For Yukimura. ]

      When the other spoke to him, his cat-like golden eyes shiftover. It’d been a while since she’d went out of her way to speak to him. And?That was fine. Perhaps it was childish of him, but he wasn’t the type toget angry often – so when forced into that position, it made him ratheroff-put. Not that he’s prone to holding grudges, necessarily, however? He wasn’tgoing to be the same chipper man for a while yet. He was put into a rather tightposition at that time – and that was withouther coming in and speaking to him when she’d already made up her mind onhow that encounter was going to go.

      “So what if I have?” Yukimura eventually sighs out the words, frowning alittle as he scratches the back of his head. “I have never been one to refrainfrom speaking my mind. And I feel like bully is the most acceptable thing I couldcall him. Especially to Isanami. It’s best to respect the fact that she doesn’treally like swearing.”

      However, he does listen to her the rest of the way. Therewas little in regards to a physical response – his eyes remained on the crimson-eyedwoman. Listening, in respectful silence, before nodding a little after shefinished. “I suppose I can try to remember that, should I ever meet him myself.”The words were spoken briefly, curtly, but earnestly. Pulling out his fan as hespeaks then – snapping it open to cover the lower half of his face. “However, Ishould remind you of something I said to you before: I don’t fear death. ShouldI lose my head for something I said at a poorly timed moment? Then that isbecause it was fate that it should happen that way. And perhaps if you’reconcerned for how I approach thisman, you should be more careful not to allow him around gentle souls likeIsanami.”

       If she was implying this man was a threat towards UEDA, thenit was her who should be careful – asit was her who had brought him this direction. The LORD of UEDA didn’t hold hisold charming face for her at this time.

       If she thought this man was a threat, and she was the reason he was here – then itwas HER, who should be watching herself. Because if something did happen to hispeople under her watch, then the freedom she had around here would be revoked.He’d been rather open and kind to her, he’d always been. After all, he was arather OPEN MINDED lord, by comparison to most. But if she started activelybeing a threat, or bringing threats, into his land? He would have to change histone. As the Lord, his duty was first to his people. “I appreciate yourcandidness about this. I’ll make sure my Brave’s are properly informed on thefact that he is a treat. But, unless you have information on how to deal with him - I’m unsure of what you want to do by giving me this information.”

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explosivestorm:

@absortio

            ❝It can be really frightening I suppose.❞

WHERE WAS LIGHT, THERE WAS DARKNESS. But if one side triumphed, if one shadowed the other, all that negativity would continue to evolve and take deeper roots. That had been her case; sorrow, anger, bitterness, helplessness have all been emotions which devoured her heart, which made her resort to unsealing that abyssmal darkness which swallowed everything in its path. ❝You could say that the most terrifying thing was the emptiness which followed after. Once my anger quelled, once I could see clearer.. nothing which I had held any meaning. ❞ Pointless destruction. That pain was not solely inflicted on those who deserved, but innocence people had been affected; they suffered losses, their hearts cried out in pain. Death had never been beautiful for them, nor liberating. It stole what they held more precious. Allowing a heavy sigh of relief go past her lips, she raised her heard towards the sky. That clear blue was peaceful, serene and it calmed her soul. Her sins were hers to bear, nonetheless that experience still remained. The tough lesson Yuna received would forever be imprinted in her mind; its goods and bad had marked her. She was another person now. ❝The more you welcome darkness in your life, the more you seek it, the more it will consume you. You can say that was a lesson. As for what happened next.. well, those years were another form of darkness I confronted. ❞

       It was surprising to hear those words from the other – but? Perhaps more so then anything, it was surprising to hear someone say something to eerily familiar to her own thoughts. She remembered everything she’d done while working for the IGA LEAGUE OF FIVE, she remembered betraying the team that welcomed her back nowadays… ( some more warily then others, but? that was fair. )

      The NUMBNESS that follows when you get what you thought you wanted – was one of the most terrifying things in the world. It was like being adrift. Without a goal, without an anchor . . . for Anastasia, what followed numbness was p a i n. She was welcomed back, but? As a traitor. And the kindness granted her, with or without wanting it? Locked her down like shackles. That was why she was the “BRAVE of ICE” once again. And? After all this time, she was still a TRAITOR in some of their minds. And others have warmed up to her presence once more…

      “… though I can understand how you felt to an extent, and I’m glad that it’s been a learning experience for you, I’m sorry that you felt that way to begin with.” Nothing was worse than feeling “EMPTY” – abandoned. In her life she’d felt that way several times. And somehow, people always reached out to her.

      Even after she’d made mistakes. “Do you want to elaborate? You must want to talk… at least to an extent, to offer these words so willingly. I’m more than happy to hear you out, if you want to talk. Though I certainly don’t know if I can offer you any worthwhile advice.” Anastasia was similar – having a FROZEN HEART years before, due to her own person grudges and anger. And holding onto a HOPE she knew should have died. She’d tortured herself these ways, she knew the person who’d made the mistake was her. And? It’d consumed her for some time. However, she already had a history of being that “ODD WOMAN” according to Yuna… so at the very least, perhaps, she could hear her out.